And me? And I?

[elvislives2012]

I always thought it should be ' (eg) my mum and I' 'my husband and I' and never 'and me' but I've seen a few things recently which makes me think I'm wrong. What's right?

[StormyBrid]

Depends whether you're the subject or object of the sentence. If you're the object, you'd say "Give it to my husband and me." If you're the object, you'd say "My husband and I gave it away." The easy test is to remove the part of the sentence that isn't I/me - you wouldn't say "Give it to I," you'd say "Give it to me." But you wouldn't say "Me gave it away," you'd say "I gave it away."

[StormyBrid]

Argh, should've said if you're the subject in my third sentence there. Shouty baby sapping my proofreading capacity!

[MummyCoolski]

You need to take away the bit before me/I and see if the sentence still works. E.g.

A) My husband and I went to Greece last year.
I went to Greece last year.
Me went to Greece last year.

B) You have been such a help to my husband and me.
You have been such a help to me.
You have been such a help to I.

A & B show the two scenarios.

Hope this helps.

[SconeRhymesWithGone]

Also, it is very common to see "my mum and I" in places where it should be "my mum and me" because for some reason, many people seem to think that "mum and me" is always ungrammatical.

[elvislives2012]

That's very interesting! Have been saying it wrong for years. Thank you

[elvislives2012]

Would it always be wrong to say 'me and my husband'? Are YOU always last?

[SconeRhymesWithGone]

It's not wrong, but the usual practice is to put yourself last, a kind of linguistic courtesy.

[MiniMonty]

Honestly "My Mum and me" is never as nice to HEAR as
"My Mother and I"

so it's simply a question of being well spoken or "recent" (i.e Estuary)
CHOOSE...

RP is well worth it.
It will endure.
Other trends come and go.

Always place yourself last, always address yourself as "I".

"Patrick, Michael, Jennifer and I are going off into town for an orgy, would you care to join us"?

[ChippingInLovesAutumn]

I know which to use when, but I think 'and me' always sounds wrong. I think I must have been taught it incorrectly as a child (that you always say I no matter what?!) so I feel very self conscious when I use 'me' (correctly) as I feel many other people of my generation will judge me for it.

^^ not sure that makes sense outside of my head! I need coffee.

[campion]

Just don't substitute ' myself' instead.

I had to read an email from a colleague this week beginning ' Myself and Esmerelda are monitoring Ethelred's homework...Please inform myself or Esmerelda of any problems'

If only I could!

Colleague has a PhD. Not in English.