Not so much pedantry, as editing problems. Writers needed

(28 Posts)
PavlovtheCat Tue 28-May-13 21:32:06

I'm having a real problem editing a piece of work. I need your help.

Can you help me re-phrase the section below so it makes sense, is not waffly or garbled as it currently is? I can normally figure it out but for some reason my brain is not engaging and I can't for the life of me work out what on earth she is saying!

"I want to give business owners the opportunity to fulfill their potential by sharing this ideology through uniquely developed
methods that will form the foundation of a training consultancy that allows brand ambassadors to develop an approach to services that inspire a fashion retail experience as uniquely special as the individual"

PavlovtheCat Tue 28-May-13 22:27:25

wigeon did you read the cartoon on the front page of that journo site? very funny...go read it you haven't already. I felt quite sad for finding it funny, but I did laugh out loud blush

SconeRhymesWithGone United States Tue 28-May-13 22:34:22

I think it is whom (flip the clause and substitute him/her as in "I train him.")

I think this distinction will be gone from English in another generation. It will not be mourned by many. wink

PavlovtheCat Tue 28-May-13 22:39:45

ah I see! (it rhymes with 'cone' btw wink )

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