Mumsnet Talk

Am I the only one to shudder when I hear this new way of praising children? It's not grammatically correct is it?

Should you really say: 'well done, you stopped at the appropriate place.'?

Any thoughts?

How many small children would stop & listen to 'well done, you stopped at the appropriate place.'?

I work with children with severe communication problems... they are much like big toddlers. We use key words & brief phrases... if you say 'Good boy,' it is meaningless -they don't necessarily know what they did to make them a good boy.

If you say, 'Good stopping,' then they know they have stopped & that was what was asked. So, next time you say 'stop' they should remember what to do.

I am pedantic about lots of things but this doesn't bother me. I think it is important to be specific.

Seriously?

I quite like pedants corner, but this is a bit ridiculous.

What about: 'well done - you stopped'?

I agree though, best to help the child

Because 'well done' doesn't mean anything. If they stopped when you asked then they did good stopping surely? Like good listening and good sitting... it's about being positive, isn't it?

I agree with grockle- I also work with children and am a pedant too. But always use 'good walking' 'good sharing', 'good listening' etc.
I am talking to children after all.

because when you have a child with the sort of issues as DD, too many words cause more problems?

Can I just say - without wanting to divert your point about children in general - I have to use this with ds as he as little functional language and, whilst it sounds awful, it makes sense to him as it is logical. It echos how he uses the few words he understands.

I also have to deliver the praise with a thumbs up so I feel even more of a twat [sigh]

Pag we use the thumbs up too, i feel like Rolf Harris in the old '70s swimming ads

Pag, don't feel like a twat! I often sign 'thank you' to cars that stop and let me cross the road. I forget that not everybody knows wtf I am doing. My friend thought I was blowing a kiss

Hahaha at Rolf Harris.

It's just awful isn't it. I spend half my time thinking 'shoot me now'.

You are brave Grockle - car drivers and hand gestures is a recipe for disaster

Necessity compels. Clarity is often more important than grammatical correctness.

It's not new, we've been doing it in SEN specific educational settings for 20 years. "good listening", ""good waiting" etc are not actually incorrect in their construction, and communicates clearly to children/young people who have 1 or 2 ICW understanding.

What Grockle said. It's developed from SULP groups and other similar things which were developed to use with children with communication difficulties, and often learning difficulties. You have to use as few words as is necessary to get your meaning acorss, and you have to be very specific with your instruction/request /praise.

It's not bravery so much as an automatic reaction! I am sure people see me signing randomly & think I am the one with special needs. No-one ever tells me 'good listening' etc though

Why would "nice walking" not be correct - they are walking nicely, their walking is nice..... nobody is claiming it to be a complete sentence - merely an exclamation.... like "Good question..."

<shrugs>

I'm off to do some good sitting.

Thanks for your responses. I knew it was recommended for children now, and it sounds like it's been properly researched to help learning. And I wasn't suggesting people shouldn't use it, I just wondered if it was actually grammatically correct. Thinking about it some more I don't think it is correct, I think we say you're good at listening / walking / dancing etc.

I'm not saying people should change what they say to children, I was just trying to work out what was wrong with it.

sigh. princessx take a look at gerund and construction, and then figure out if it's "wrong".

Why is it not grammatically correct? 'Walking' is a gerund there and 'good' is the adjective - it's a simple statement but it is complete. 'You're good at walking' is adding a subject but why is it 'better' grammar? What do you think is wrong with 'Good walking'. (Don't mean to sound at all narky, I'm genuinely intrigued).

X-post MrsShrek!

pmsl, same point too
proper pedants sign in

* No-one ever tells me 'good listening' etc though*
My dd1 is older now but 'good listening' etc (with obligatory thumbs up) is ingrained in my speech with her and dd2. Now dd1's speech is better I get told 'you're not doing good listening mummy' if I get what she's saying wrong.

Besides being appropriate in the situations described it is grammatically correct. "Sitting" is a noun in this sense, so "good sitting" is absolutely fine. I think if you studied Latin you might find we are talking about the ablative absolute. We don't have that in English, but this construct works.

<<hopes someone more knowledgeable will come along soon>>