This is a bit rude isn't it?

(78 Posts)
The2Ateam Sun 24-Apr-16 15:28:27

Currently at the birthday party of my 8yr old DDs school friend. I work full time so, only know a few of the mums, I haven't met this one before.

Anyway, she said hello when we arrived and then has sat with her back to me the whole time. Not spoken once... Rude much?

ZenNudist Sun 24-Apr-16 15:31:56

I think you're over thinking it. It's entertainment for your child. If you want to make conversation go over and speak to her.

The2Ateam Sun 24-Apr-16 15:33:25

Do you? I always make an effort to speak to all the parents who come to my children's party's. I would never ignore them! I don't actually want to make conversation, but I still thinks it's rude.

wonderstuff Sun 24-Apr-16 15:35:39

I don't tend to stay at parties with my 8year old, mainly because she's friends with people whose mothers I don't know these days. As mother of the birthday girl I'd be too stressed to make small talk, but I'd hope another parent might. Anyone else looking lost you could befriend?

Fedupagain1975 Sun 24-Apr-16 15:37:39

Yes, that is rude! Is she talking to others or running around stressed? I always try and talk to all the parents, though if I am running around I worry that I have missed someone.

The2Ateam Sun 24-Apr-16 15:39:58

I wouldn't but it's too far to leave and come back, and in the middle of no-where. No other parents, just me! I'm loving the me time to be honest, I have a younger who who is rarely not with me, but he's home with dad today. I'm very social, so happy to chat to anyone really but I do think as the host you should at least once look in the direction of the other adult in the room - LOL!

Zampa Sun 24-Apr-16 15:44:37

You're at the party right now? If so, she's probably thinking how rude you are for sitting, looking at/typing on your phone/tablet.

Perhaps try and interact?

The2Ateam Sun 24-Apr-16 15:50:57

She's got her back to me, hasn't looked over once. She wouldn't know if I had stripped off.

AnchorDownDeepBreath Sun 24-Apr-16 15:53:03

I guess she probably hadn't expected you to say, at eight. And she might just be feeling a bit stressed and think you'll talk to her if you feel like it but otherwise she'll leave you to it.

It is rude but it's unlikely she's being intentionally rude.

TiggerPiggerPoohBumWee Sun 24-Apr-16 15:55:29

Why is it rude? She's probably wondering why you are there. She's not your friend, she doesn't know you, why on earth would you expect her to sit and entertain you while you're there.

The2Ateam Sun 24-Apr-16 15:58:59

Yeah, I think she probably hadn't expected me to stay. I did ask if it was ok though. She's not stressed, the staff are doing all the work and she's just sitting, with another woman (sister) I think, who also doesn't make eye contact- Lol! My DD is having a great time though.grin

wonderstuff Sun 24-Apr-16 15:59:34

If you're the only other adult then yes, is a bit rude, I'd have welcomed adult company and an extra pair of hands. Even my mates bugger off and leave me to it at my kids things these days. Maybe go over and make conversation / offer help? She might be shy?

TiggerPiggerPoohBumWee Sun 24-Apr-16 16:03:17

So your problem is that they aren't looking at you?

I imagine if they were you would be on here complaining that she was staring, or some other such nonsense.

Buttons23 Sun 24-Apr-16 16:03:25

Meh I couldn't be too fussed over that. I see children's parties as a great time for my ds and really wouldn't care about sitting on my own or being entertained by other parents unless I really knew them.

The2Ateam Sun 24-Apr-16 16:10:01

Hahaha, Tigger! Of course my problem isn't that they're not looking at me. You're funny!

The2Ateam Sun 24-Apr-16 16:13:17

Yes, Meh as I said, I am loving the me time.

Herewegoagainfolks Sun 24-Apr-16 16:15:09

It does seem rude but maybe she find making small talk difficult.

Before MN I had no idea how anxious just talking to a stranger at the school gate makes some people. I'd chat away to you quite happily but lots and lots of people find it excruciating.

Zucker Sun 24-Apr-16 16:17:15

It's brilliant how on these types of threads people fall over themselves to find in favour of the rude person. Yes that's weird and rude OP, imagine not including the 3rd adult in the room in your conversation!

Enjoy your peace though.

The2Ateam Sun 24-Apr-16 16:17:31

LOL! I'm the same, I talk to everyone! it took me a while to understand that everyone didn't find it as easy as me!

DancingDinosaur Sun 24-Apr-16 16:24:37

It is a bit rude really, but I wouldn't stress yourself. Just say thank you at the end and leave.

jollygoose Sun 24-Apr-16 16:25:20

yanbu I think she is being rude, when you host anything you have a responsibility to make anyone attending feel welcome and included, some people are sadly lacking in social skills.

SuburbanRhonda Sun 24-Apr-16 16:29:25

I talk to everyone! it took me a while to understand that everyone didn't find it as easy as me!

Really? How long did it take you to realise that everyone is different? hmm

A4Document Sun 24-Apr-16 16:31:07

She might be shy, stressed (inwardly, it doesn't always show), making sure everything's going to plan, enjoying seeing her child enjoy their party. The party is for the children, not the adults. I would try to talk to other parents at a party but wouldn't be offended if the organiser was too busy to chat.

The2Ateam Sun 24-Apr-16 16:37:39

What Surburban?

FuzzyOwl Sun 24-Apr-16 16:40:12

It is rude but presumably you are spending the time on MN on your phone which I think is also rude and probably doesn't make you seem very approachable.

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