thinking about doing the entertainment at DDs 4th birthday party. Am I barmy?!

[Reastie]

I am a newbie to parties. DD will be 4 early next year (yes, I know, I'm uber organised but I like time to plan these things). We are going to the the party thing for the first time. We will invite all of her nursery class as this is the done thing (about 11 altogether) and friends from outside nursery (not sure how many will come, but will invite about 15 - 20).

I was looking into the whole entertainer thing, then at the going out for a meal vs in a local hall, then in the getting someone to do it all for me, then, today DD went to her first birthday party. They had entertainment, they were good and the children enjoyed it, but I sort of thought 'I could do that'. Am I kidding myself? And would I miss all the fun of DDs party to run it myself?

Was thinking I think my Dad has an amp, so could plug a microphone into that so I don't have to shout too much and could do a proper old school jelly and ice cream retro themed party (OK, the theme is just for me, I do like a theme to work to!). Could play party games like pass the parcel etc. No one round here seems to do that any more, it has to be an entertainer/out somewhere. It's quite an affluent area so I assume they don't want to. I don't want it to come off like the poor party and look who can't afford to do a 'proper' party (we could) but I wonder if DD might like this more. She didn't like the loud noise at the party today and is quite a gentle girl who doesn't like being put on the spot and is hesitant at joining in things. I wonder if an entertainer would just be too much for her. She loves parachute games and pass the parcel type things.

Now, is it one of those things where it looks alot easier than it is running a 4 YOs party . There will be alot of friends and parents there to laugh at me see me look ridiculous wine may be needed .

I sort of like the idea of organising it (I'm a control freak) but it sort of fills me with dread too.

I'm currently imagining roping in family - maybe MIL and Sister doing face painting on arrival with toys and colouring in in a hall. My Dad is musical so maybe he can play the piano in the background so the children can jump around and dance a bit. Then do 45 mins of party games, then a tea, then some parachute games and pass the parcel and then home.

This is all going to go hideously wrong isn't it . Am I silly to contemplate such a thing?

[JohnnyDeppsfuturewife]

No, you're not silly at all, I think it could be fun. I have 'organised' smaller parties of say just 12 kids in my house and I would probably be a bit scared to do anything larger but it sounds like you have a bigger support network than me.

I am in a similar area and out of probably 50 large parties (15 to 30 children) I have only seen 2 parties where a parent did the entertaining and both work in child related fields so are natural with kids. Most importantly both just did the entertaining and none of the other stuff so they had help doing food, meeting and greeting, food for parents.

I am a bit of a spreadsheet fan so if I were you I would work out the invite list, task list and budget. If you're saving on an entertainer you might want to pay for some of your tasks to be done so get ready made sandwiches or cakes. I have also found that if you don't have time to make many sandwiches in advance, pizza can be very easy and popular if your hall has an oven. Your helper just shoves it in while you're entertaining the kids.

You're right that you don't have to keep them busy for that long, I would think maybe an hour if it's a two hour party. Colouring in is a good idea as they come in or another craft activity. I have seen children decorate items they can take home like piggybanks and at one party they decorated plant pots with Easter / spring stickers and planted seeds.

Easy games are pass the parcel, doing the conga, a piñata, musical statues / bumps / ugly faces, a dancing competition (with bubble machine or snow machine) or you can set up obstacle courses, or relay races, and I've been to a few parties with items hidden around the hall whether it's Easter eggs / sweets, clues, pictures of things (if you have a theme).

Epic post, hope it helps.

[noblegiraffe]

How much time do you have? Do not underestimate how much time it takes to even do a simple task like buying stuff for party bags and then filling them.

Personally, I would want to enjoy the party myself rather than rushing around like a blue arsed fly trying to sort sandwiches while organising a conga.

Have you any experience with organising children?

[Reastie]

I have until February noble . I'm a teacher but secondary not primary. I have helped at brownies/run a summer kids club in the past, but nothign quite like this . I'd like to enjoy it for sure, but I'd also like DD to enjoy it, I wonder if this would be the best way to get her confident to join in.

[Reastie]

and huge johnny

[MorrisZapp]

I don't understand this. What is it you plan to do, that other people pay professionals for?

[Reastie]

Party games. Here people pay to get people to do party games or do some kind of entertainment or activity as norm at their dc parties.

[AliMonkey]

We had home parties with no outside entertainer for all my kids parties from 4 to 7. Games, craft (or biscuit/cake decorating) and treasure hunt plus party tea of course. Done with just me and DH or with one friend helping as well. As long as you're organised in advance it's fine and goes quickly. But we've never had more than 10 children. But if you have lots of family or friend support and are holding it somewhere other than home then more should be OK - if that is what your child wants. Ask them. Most people at school did whole class parties for at least first couple of years but our children didn't want them and preferred a smaller group. Particularly age 4 I would recommend a smaller group so not overwhelming for birthday child.

We've done it because it suited our shy children better (DS in particular won't join in with any party with an entertainer).

[Ilikesweetpeas]

I have done DD's 4th, 5th and 6th parties. You sound very organised and you will be fine! Definitely enlist others to help with good, pizza and cocktail sausages are best warm but went down well. I would say the 4th was the hardest because not all of the children understood about playing games. Also the parents stayed, was easier for me at 5 and 6 when they dropped them off at my house. Most children are easier without their parents! This year especially I really enjoyed because I got to chat to her friends which you don't at soft play etc. planning in doing her 7th party too! Good luck and have fun!

[Reastie]

Interesting Ali, maybe I should do 2 parties then, one for nursery and one outside school friends. Do one more organised and one with me doing games...

[Reastie]

That actually would end out being very expensive doing 2.

What's the done thing if everyone in a class invites all of the nursery class but I invite just a handful of dds best friends (the class is small, about 11)? I know this would be unexpected from the parents and children but would it bother them? Would be nice then to cut numbers to dds dozen or so favourite friends.

[FruitBasedDrinkForALady]

We had DD's 4th birthday party at home last month. There were 14 of the little monsters darlings here for 2 hours. It was the longest 2 hours of my life. They were mental. They were very unimpressed by pass the parcel entitled little beggars and were bored of musical statues in less than one rendition of "Let it go". The longest stretches of civilised behaviour were 10 mins making masks and 15 mins of complaining they didn't like their chicken fingers /wedges /pizza. There was an even split of boys and girls (all from her daycare class) and they were all completely mental!! Another mother had an entertainer at her DD'S party, said it was great, "they listen to anyone with a whistle and a uniform".

I know what I'll be doing next year sitting in a beer garden by myself with a good book.

[AliMonkey]

If class of 11 and you only invite say 5 closest friends then any parent of uninvited child who thinks that is unfair is in my opinion unreasonable. Now if you invite 9 or 10 then that probably is unfair. So I would say either invite 4-5 nursery friends and similar number of other friends or just invite nursery friends - and maybe have tea party (ie cake, drinks and just playing with toys or in garden) for outside friends and parents. We did the latter as sometimes mixing groups of friends is hard.

The standard advice re number of kids is kids age plus one (so 5 invitees to 4 year old's party , plus birthday child and any siblings) and we never strayed too far from that up to age 7. But suspect we would have if it was what DC wanted - and did do a whole class party for DD aged 8 as that was her request as she got more confident with age.

I always think the important thing is to remember that this is a party for your DC, not a way to please other parents (or to fulfil your fantasies of what the perfect party should be like - although we all do a bit of that!) Hence why DD's 9th party was at build a bear which is definitely not my idea of fun but what she wanted.

[Reastie]

fruit that right there is what I'm scared of!

ali I have never heard of the childs age plus one point, that's very interesting. Re: only inviting some nursery children - there are 3 other girls and she only really plays with them so it would be them who would be invited if I only did some.

[JohnnyDeppsfuturewife]

Alimonkey is right, I have got carried away with organising the perfect party for parents and for me rather than dd. Now I try to have a conversation with dds about what parties they want. They're both still quite young so I take it with a pink of salt but last year dd2 wanted a princess party and dd1 asked for father Xmas to come to her party (in the summer so I ignored that and said he was on holiday!)

You could just let dd choose the guest list - making sure that you don't get in the situation where you invite 9 out of 11 children. (And when you do the guest list prepare that some will might bring siblings along even if they weren't invited.)

I have mixed school friends and non school friends at a party and not had a problem. I think as long as you have lots of prizes so that all the children win something they'll be happy. They can be inexpensive from medals to bags of haribos to stickers etc.

[UnderEstherMate]

Doing your own parties is the norm where I live. Those who hire entertainers are usually seen as show-offs to be honest! But this area is far from affluent so perhaps that's why.

But no, it's not too more difficult than you're imagining. It is hard and time consuming, but the fact that you've posted here to ask tells me that you've already though of that!

It will be great.

[Reastie]

I'm now erring towards 2 parties I'm mad , one for nursery class with entertainer but just basic food I'll do, and one for out of school friends on a week day, just a laid back thing which I'll organise some games but it will be a very simple affair.

[roslet]

I like having two parties best, the first being for my son's oldest friends. Then I'm not stressed because I know those children and their carers well. The second party is for school friends (21 came last month, but it was outside) and feels simple cause I've already had a dry run at the games.
Having loved your Christnas threads, I think arranging a couple of parties will be a walk in the park for you! Definitely don't bother with an entertainer. There are posters who have brilliant ideas and advice on the Shirley thread.

[Reastie]

thanks roslet . DD will actually end out with 3 parties if you count a family tea as a party...