Hi all, Just wanted a bit of advice re ds's upcoming 5th party. He is having a football party and the coach can accommodate 15 children. My ds has invited 5 out-of-school friends, himself of course and that leaves 9 places. In his class there are 15 other boys and he has chosen 9 from the 15. 7 were a given-consistently mentioned by son etc and in his close group of friends (although he was not invited to 2 of their parties-he changed school in feb so whether that was a factor in this I don't know -it was a couple of months ago now.I feel I dealt with it maturely-even saying to one of the mum's that I was sure another mum would understand not everyone could be invited-we didn't discuss the fact ds hadn't been invited). When I said he only had 2 places left and I listed the names of the remaining 8 children he kept saying the same 2 names. Is it acceptable to invite 9 and leave out the other 6? I don't want to upset anyone (mums or kids) but simply can't invite any more. Of the 6: 2 I don't know what they look like, 1 I know the mum but the boys don't seem to play together 2 are best friends and invited my son to their parties (don't think they were 'whole-class' parties, both let me bring my youngest as dh was working -1 was a house party so no extra cost, 2nd was soft play and I paid for her) so I feel particularly bad about not inviting their son's, especially as I sometimes say hi to them at the school gates. My son consistently says no when I ask if he wants me to invite them. The other 1 I know what he looks like and ds mentions him sometimes but I don't know the mum.
I asked my son is he wished we could invite everyone and he said no that he was happy with who he was inviting. I don't have all the mum's numbers so was going to ask the teacher to put the invites in the boys' book bags. I know throughout the year there have been some part-class parties-some he has been invited to, others not,and some whole-class parties.
That's life - as you say, he hasn't got to go to all the parties and you don't have enough spaces for everyone. You may find that you have an extra couple of spaces if people already have plans. If there are two places left, invite the two he is asking for. It's not a big deal and unless you want to change the kind or party you have limited numbers and have to deal with that one way or another.
If he wanted to invite all but two of the boys, I'd say that was a bit mean, but I'd say that sort of split is fine.
We're going to have a rule that once he gets to school, DS can invite best friends (ie 4-5) or all the boys or the whole class to avoid things like this because it does make you feel bad even if its unavoidable.