Dh will be 40 in Dec and has expressly said he does not want any kind of party/celebration organising due to closeness to christmas and he is just not into that kind of thing (never has been) Anyhow mil phoned today and says she and bil want to arrange a surprise family weekend away at a local hotel for us all (20ish people total) as I hadn't done anything about a party and they think he should mark the occasion. I said that I didn't think he would be up for it and to be honest wasn't happy about the whole surprise element. Suggested they either run the whole thing past him and be open and honest about their 'plans or forget it. Reply was they will think about telling him, anyway I feel really backed into a corner now. If I put my foot down and say outright NO to weekend away then feel compelled to organise something at our house to compensate (this would be for their benefit not dh's as he is still totally against celebrating). This would lead to much stress and the possibility of 16 overnight guests in our house. Suggestions/solutions/telling me to grow a set all welcome.