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anyone else uncomfortable with the way parents are perceived?

(5 Posts)
anaotchan Sat 21-Sep-13 15:15:55

I'm thinking about how government family policies are talked about, especially online.

I hear more and more people say/write things like "if you can't afford children you shouldn't have them in the first place", or "parents/mums think they're due everything just because they have children", or "having children is a lifestyle choice, deal with the consequences and don't come moaning about money". And that's the Guardian's comments section!

It makes me feel uncomfortable, like I'm in the wrong for wanting to have children and have enough government help for both me and DH to be able to keep our jobs.

What do you say to people who think this way? Or do you think they're right?

TunipTheUnconquerable Sat 21-Sep-13 15:19:03

The Guardian's comments section is, surprisingly, notoriously unpleasant and full of bile, especially against women. So I wouldn't worry too much about what I read on there.

anaotchan Sat 21-Sep-13 15:29:27

Ok, good to know.

I was really surprised to hear the same sort of discourse from a really close friend, a while back (before he knew I was pregnant...). He's normally as left-wing and anti-discrimination as you can get, so it rather disturbed me.

But maybe I'm seeing a pattern where's there none.

BackforGood Sat 21-Sep-13 15:51:03

I was reading in the paper this morning that Harriet Harman is trying to get into the Labour Party manifesto for the next general election, a pledge that Grandparents now be "entitled" to 'Granny leave' when their children have their own children (in addition to the maternity leave and paternity leave that is already there).
I have to say, when I read that politicians are actually giving serious consideration to such thoughts, that I do lean towards the comments you mention.

GetStuffezd Sat 21-Sep-13 15:57:15

I absolutely agree that there should be enough support in these difficult times for both parents to keep their jobs - I would never want to feel forced to give up my job.
BUT.
There are too many people who rely solely on state support to bring up their children. And with this support are able to have five, six, seven children. I have worked with many families where this is the case; both in my teaching job, and my Community Interest Company. I know it's an unpopular view on MN but I find this totally wrong.
I have encountered a few entitled people who think they're superior because they "have kidz" but in fairness, I've met all kinds of entitled wankers who don't have children either!

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