Would I love another child as much as my first?

(29 Posts)
Daiso Sun 03-Nov-13 13:44:43

Feel silly asking this, but it's always in the back of my mind.
I've got a 2yr old DS who I love immensely - so much more than I imagined. I would like DS to have a sibling but I am genuinely worried that I won't love another child as much as I do my DS.
Am I odd?!

JollyStoutGiant Sun 03-Nov-13 13:45:40

Everyone worries about this. But the second is just as wonderful as the first smile

hopskipandthump Sun 03-Nov-13 13:46:55

i think most people worry about that a bit. I didn't worry exactly, but when I was pg with DC2 I tried to imagine loving someone else as much as DC1 and couldn't imagine it. But as soon as he was born, I did, just like that. And agains with DC3. It's like magic.

I think it's because before they're born they are a stranger, whereas you already know your existing child so well. But once they're here, they're not a stranger, they are this amazing small person who miraculously belongs to you.

<leaves now before I talk myself into DC4...>

AHardDaysWrite Sun 03-Nov-13 13:50:19

Yes. I had this worry. When I was heavily preg with dd (dc2) I remember feeling sad reading DS' bedtime story to him, because there wouldn't be many more nights when it would just be the two of us cuddled up together. Then she was born and now the three of us cuddle together and it is just perfect. The idea that I was worried I wouldn't love her as much as DS seems ridiculous now but I understand why you're worried about it.

Problem is, now I know that you love them all the same it's hard to resist having dc3...

JollyStoutGiant Sun 03-Nov-13 13:51:49

Someone told me your love is like cake. When you have a second child you don't have to cut the cake in half. You just get a second cake grin

Hassled Sun 03-Nov-13 13:54:47

Yes, you will. As soon as you see him/her you'll realise it's a whole new person; it's not that you're replicating DC1 - DCs2/3/4 come with their own personalities and their own needs, and you love them all just as much.

Yep. You dont divide the live. You multiply it.

Doh!

You dont divide the love, you multiply it.

AnitaBlake Sun 03-Nov-13 13:58:31

Yes, its amazing. I was scared that all DD2s achievements wouldn't be so special because DD1 had already done them, but its just as wonderful the second time round, if not more so because you are relaxed and more secure in your own parenting too.

I adore them both, in similar but different ways smile xxx

ZingWantsCake Sun 03-Nov-13 14:33:05

you are not odd.

I was wondering that when I was pg with DS2.

I had a very traumatic birth with DS1 and it took me a month to really feel that I loved him. I fell in love with him the day he first smiled at me, I really felt a connection.

naturally I was worried about a "delay" repeating itself, because it made feel really guilty and borderline depressed.

but I just fell in love with DS2 the moment he was born.
and seeing the two of them together made me fall in love with DS1 all over again!grin

we now have 6 and love is all around!smile

Pollydon Sun 03-Nov-13 14:38:25

Yes, its like your heart grows & you have all this love to go around smile <wishes for soppy but true emotion>

Notfastmainlyfurious Sun 03-Nov-13 14:39:56

I was thinking exactly the same thing! So glad to have seen this thread. My toddler is the most amazing little person and I was worried that the sibling wouldn't be the same but feeling much reassured (and hormonal) after reading this thanks

mummyxtwo Sun 03-Nov-13 17:27:42

I had the same worry also. I couldn't imagine loving another baby as much as ds1. But then dd2 arrived and I felt the same overwhelming love for her, without loving ds1 any less. I can only describe it as your love doubles, rather than you having to divide the same amount of love between the two of them.

MarshaBrady Sun 03-Nov-13 17:29:04

Yes you will. And even better you'll love it when they love each other.

I'm pregnant with DC2 and worrying about the same thing - you're all being wonderfully reassuring, thank you!!

VeryStressedMum Sun 03-Nov-13 19:21:34

Yes you will, don't worry.

You will have enough love for them allsmile
I remember worrying about exactly the same thing many moons ago when pregnant with dc2, now pregnant with dc5 and i now know you have enough love in the heart for each & everyone of your children.

bellablot Sun 03-Nov-13 19:29:27

Yes of course you would.

ChanelTunel Sun 03-Nov-13 19:37:18

You'll love them both. Then one will piss you off,the next week the other one. It'll continue forever.

xx

colditz Sun 03-Nov-13 19:42:20

Surprisingly yes. And you won't love your first less than before either.

It's weird.

Daiso Mon 04-Nov-13 11:38:38

Thanks all -I think that's a yes then grin
I'm glad that I'm not the only one to feel like this though. I felt guilty for even thinking it!

When I fell pregnant with DS1, I was worried that I could not love a child more than I loved DH. Then when expecting DS2 I was worried that I could not love another child as much as DS1 and DH!

The love just multiplies!

Having said that, some days I can't stand the bloody site of any of them smile.

lifesobeautiful Mon 04-Nov-13 12:25:40

I also felt like this - and worship the ground both my babies walk on! I think we imagine that love is finite, but it's not! You just love more and more. It's infinite! (Must remind myself of this the next time they're having a tantrum or waking up at 3am....)

Primrose123 Mon 04-Nov-13 12:27:10

Yes you will. You will not be able to imagine loving another child as much as your first until the second one is born. Then you realise that you love them both. smile

colditz Tue 05-Nov-13 00:20:52

An old lady told me, when I was pregnant with ds2, " They bring their own love with them."

cory Tue 05-Nov-13 09:50:59

MarshaBrady Sun 03-Nov-13 17:29:04
"Yes you will. And even better you'll love it when they love each other."

This is so true. There is nothing better than looking at two children giggling together at a private joke, a small child being comforted by a bigger child, two teenagers snuggled up together, and thinking to yourself "I gave that love to the world".

Oh cory, that's so lovely! I'm pregnant with DC2 and your post has put a tear in my eye!

MarshaBrady Tue 05-Nov-13 13:46:52

So sweet Cory, well put! and true.

Daiso Tue 05-Nov-13 15:54:16

Aww how lovely Cory. Sounds like there is lots of love to go around.

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