what age did you have your children?

(56 Posts)
mummykayxx Tue 22-Oct-13 17:14:30

I'm 20 with a 2 year old. in a long term relationship. we are in the process of buying a house. partner works full time. I'm a home study student atm but wanting to work part time too. am I too young to have the next? I'm so broody and always wanted my babies close together. we were going to wait until we have moved and settled and I have finished my courses. what age did you have your children? how old was the first when you had your second? (:

Annagramma Tue 22-Oct-13 18:13:59

I had my eldest at 17. Then at 20, then at 21. I had my fourth and last child at 23 (he's a newborn still). I was also studying, and got a small part time job at 21 if it matters. I had them all young but I think it worked okay as now that I am getting into care, I'm not facing the prospect of maternity leave, and hopefully will have less discrimination etc; which many mithers have had, and I won't (hopefully) have to take long job/career breaks. Although I didn't plan to have a kid at 17, I like how close they are and how I'm now finished having children.

My eldest was 3.5 when my second was born.

princesspants Tue 22-Oct-13 20:24:02

I was 30, 33 and 35. I wish I had had them younger. I had been living with DH from 21 and married at 25 so I could kick myself now.

You are obviously happy and enjoying being a mum so go for it. It's more about where you are in life and who you are with in terms of being settled and happy and not about material status or age.
It would be a perfect age gap now. Mine all have just over 2.5 years and it works well.

When I had my first I met 5 other girls in my ante natal group who I am still friends with now. We ranged from 21-38. The girl at 21 had 3 by the time she was 25 and although she found the age gaps of just under 2 hard at times, she is glad to now have her family complete and her and her DH are enjoying things easing up now.

My regret comes from the fact I hate thinking about what age I will be when they are my age. Will I be fit enough to help with grandchildren etc. Will they think we are old farts?!!
Also because I would love a 4th but I turned 37 last week so I have to forget it after 2 high risk PG.

I think you are doing the right thing FWIW

mikkii Tue 22-Oct-13 20:26:44

I was 35 with DS, I had DD1 three days before my 38th birthday and was 41 when DD2 was born.

sewingandcakes Tue 22-Oct-13 20:27:38

27, 29 and 35. I was with my husband for 10 years before we had kids or got married, and I think we should have started earlier.

Hulababy Tue 22-Oct-13 20:30:18

I had DD at 29y
She took a lot of TTC - if I'd got pregnant straight way I would have been 26y.

24 (nearly 25) and just turned 29...we wanted a smaller gap but took over 2 years to conceive DS - who is now 3wo smile

Wuxiapian Tue 22-Oct-13 20:31:14

20, 34 and 35.

26 and then a few weeks off 30. I wish I had been a little younger, in hindsight.

no sorry, 27. I got pregnant when I was 26.

Ragwort Tue 22-Oct-13 20:34:00

43 grin - I'd been to university, done lots of travelling, one short failed marriage, been with DH 12 years & had a fabulous career, practically paid off the mortgage.

And yes princess - my DS does think DH and I are old farts grin.

I genuinely don't know what the ideal age is, we have none of the financial pressures that so many 'younger' parents seem to face and I don't have all the angst about missing out on my career (happy to consider myself retired) but then again I look at my friends who are my age whose children have left home and envy them their relaxed lifestyle !

AmandaCooper Tue 22-Oct-13 20:34:18

I was 35 when I had DS.

20 and 22

I love having my girls close together. It's hard work though! I agree it's not about chronological age but about where you are in your life e.g dh an I have been together for nearly 8 years, we're married, own our house and have been through lots together.
Some people aren't ready for children until it's too late, some people are ready as soon as they can be!

kiki22 Tue 22-Oct-13 20:51:02

25 would not have liked to be any older

MrsBungle Tue 22-Oct-13 20:57:14

I was 31 and 34. Perfect age for me. I don't feel any older than I did when I was 21 and 24! For me, personally, I had the best time ever in my 20's and I am glad I got to do all that. I love being a mum now, in my 30's, a whole different era in my life!

TheGrandPooBah Tue 22-Oct-13 20:57:15

40 and 44. Best thing we've ever done, and we're loving being parents to a 7 and 3 year old whilst 47. When I was 25, I would have considered someone at 47 to have one foot in the grave.

Nup. We play sports, musical instruments, work, have loads of friends and are out with the kids all the time, so I guess it's just what kind of life you lead, depending on how old you feel. We might not be super rich, but we are VERY happy with the richness of our family life.

MaryAnnTheDasher Wed 23-Oct-13 06:58:14

31, 33 and will be 36 when number 3 is born. Wish I had them younger but was with total twat for 11 years until mid 20's so am glad I didn't have them with him. Plus this way i've managed to get my career in order and become financially secure so my kids have a reasonable start in life. I do also worry about being too old to help them out with their kids but my mum is 63 and is the main carer for mine and my sisters kids so I'm hoping I'll take after her!!

mummyxtwo Wed 23-Oct-13 10:45:57

30 and 34 and am considering whether or not I could handle another! I always wanted to be a younger mum, as my mum had me at 34 and she seemed a lot older than my friends' mums, but times have changed and women are having babies at all ages. Also, I think it depends on the individual how young or old you look or behave. I would have loved to have started my family in my twenties but hey ho, life had other ideas! You've already got one child, so you're not really pondering how old you should be when you start your family. Whenever feels right for you is the right time, IMO, and if you're keen on a small age gap then go for it! There's something to be said for having shorter age gaps.

PollyIndia Wed 23-Oct-13 11:03:10

37 and at no point have I wished I had him younger. I love him to bits but changes your life forever! I have travelled, partied, got to a point in my career where I can work 3 days a week at home and be fine financially (I am a single mum). I sometimes miss my old life, but not really - apart from burning man, I think I had done most of the things I could have ever wanted to do pre kids (other than fall in love again!). Think it totally depends on the individual though. I've always had loads of energy and been really fit etc. The broken sleep doesn't bother me really.

Though we must all believe we have had our kids at the right time for us, as that's when we had them - wishing you had done things differently is pointless.

PollyIndia Wed 23-Oct-13 11:04:18

Actually, the only thing that makes me wish I were younger is that my mum and dad are now 70. They are also both fit and healthy (touch loads of wood), but they won't be around for my son's whole life and that makes me sad.

21, 25, 29, 33. Defiantley easier when I was younger, although I suppose that could be because I didn't have the other children already.

I had just finished my first degree when I had my first. I then realised that wasn't what I wanted to do (English literature, plan was to be teacher) and started a second degree in midwifery all with a young child, then worked and took maternity leave for the others, I left midwifery when dc3 was 3 as I felt like I didn't know her! Due to shifts and h's long hours the children virtually lived at my mums house so that he didn't have to get up to be here for 6.30am when the last person would have left for work, the dc would often go to my mums after school being dropped home at 7pm, to be bathed and got ready for bed, h listen to reading and then taken back to nannys to go to bed sad plus weekends and bank holidays always seemed to fall on my shifts. the money wasn't great for the sacrifices being made. Miss the job like mad now, did a few bank shifts but let my registration expire and now work at a management level in an office, I can work from home if I need to and my boss is flexible as long as I can show that I have everything covered.

StandingInLine Wed 23-Oct-13 11:14:56

I was 22 (unplanned ) with my first and 24 (planned) with my second. I had always wanted my kids close so when I finally said goodbye to nappies and sleepless nights it was for good. I think there's a positive to whatever age you have them, for instance I had a Fab social life beforehand, went clubbing etc...so as least I wont look back thinking I've wasted my youth and by the time I'm 30 both my kids will be at that age where they're at school and not as reliant on me so can start getting my life back in order.

dyslexicdespot Wed 23-Oct-13 11:32:08

I had DS at 34.

For everyone that has said that they wish they had children earlier- You know you would not have had the same children, if you had them at any other time, right?

So, if you like the ones you have got, you had them exactly when you should have had them!

evertonmint Wed 23-Oct-13 11:38:39

31, 34 and will be almost 38 when this one is born.

About right for the first and second - old enough to have fine stuff but still quite young, and 2.5y gap which has worked well. Feeling old now and should probably have had this one sooner - will be 3y10 between dc2 and this and should have gone with 2yrs! But for various reasons we weren't quite ready until now.

ALittleBitOfHalloweenMagic Wed 23-Oct-13 11:40:56

18
26

I would have had my second a lot sooner but I wanted to get my degree first then my dh proposed at my graduation so we saved and got married then ttc . It's worked out ok and I love my dcs but the age gap is quite big . But dd loves her little brother and is a great littler helper winkgrin

DukeSilver Wed 23-Oct-13 11:41:06

23 (unplanned), she is 3 now. I am planning on having at least another one in a few years once I have got a job sorted and such.

willyoulistentome Wed 23-Oct-13 11:43:05

36 and 38.

jimijack Wed 23-Oct-13 11:44:01

33 with ds 1
43 with ds 2

notso Wed 23-Oct-13 11:49:54

19,23, a week before 30 and 31. I really wish we had had the two youngest at 25 and 26 but we were too poor.

Wafflenose Wed 23-Oct-13 11:50:43

28 and 31. We had been together 10 years before having DD1, which I loved, and didn't want them any sooner.

Lamu Wed 23-Oct-13 12:04:04

26 with my first who is 2.2. And will be 28 by the time this one comes along in May.

I always wanted to have all my children before I'm 30. For similar reasons as above, I've not gone back to work since my first although I did have a 4 month stint this summer. In my field taking 2 yrs out has really put me on the back foot. I'm hoping to return to work when Dc is two knowing that I don't intend to have any more.

I don't wish I had them younger but do I wish I had thought about the consequences of taking 2 years out of work.

mumofboyo Wed 23-Oct-13 13:06:54

31 with ds, 32 with dd. they're 1 and 2 now. In hindsight I wish I'd have waited for dd as I've struggled so much since her birth re depression etc, however that's limiting more each day and I'm beginning to enjoy and love her as much as I did ds.

FreyaKItty Wed 23-Oct-13 19:13:16

I was 36 & 38. I enjoyed my 20's and early 30's. worked hard and travelled. We'd the mortgage paid off by the time they came along so I had the luxury of being Sahm. I'm happy to have waited but others might not. Horses for courses I guess.

womma Wed 23-Oct-13 19:15:02

38 and 44

18, 20, 21, 22. and now I have shut up shop. wasn't easy but is now they are older and more independent.

Fuzzymum1 Wed 23-Oct-13 22:26:06

I was 24 when I had DS1, 28 when I had DS2 and 37 when I had DS3 - I know I couldn't have coped with two little ones at the same time but a friend of mine couldn't imagine having big gaps and had all four of hers between my last two! DS2 was almost 4 when DS2 was born and they were almost 13 and just 9 when DS3 was born. I've loved having the big gaps and having DS3 was almost like having a first child again.

DramaAlpaca Wed 23-Oct-13 22:28:58

I had DS1 at 29 & DS2 at 30. It's worked out really well having them so close together.

duchesse Wed 23-Oct-13 22:44:47

25, 27, 29 and 41.

Mummyoftheyear Wed 23-Oct-13 22:52:15

35 and 38

christilass Fri 25-Oct-13 12:11:36

40 :-)

DoTheStrand Fri 25-Oct-13 12:19:45

38 and 40. Am 42 now and would love another (I only wanted two until the second arrived). I may or may not get my wish! DH is early 50s but has two older boys at university. Older ones and younger ones get on really well. Oh and your children will think you're an old fart whatever age you have them smile

mumeeee Sat 26-Oct-13 16:48:39

I was 30, 33 and 35. I didn't get married until I was 27 and didn't have a long term relationship before then. I found it fine although a little tiring but then I was a bit anaemic when I was in my early 20's and would have found it hard to have children then.

TheBreastmilksOnMe Sat 26-Oct-13 16:57:21

25, 27 and 30. I've always wanted to be a mum, it was all I dreamt about as a child so I waited until I had certain essential (in my opinion) in place, a loving partner, stability, security, a house etc but with hindsight I wish I'd focused more on a career as financially we would probably be better off now and trying to focus on a career with three little ones isn't easy but I really couldn't have held off any longer, I was desperate to be a mum!

oliveoctagon Sat 26-Oct-13 17:20:18

23 and 28 and that was older than most of my friends. I had been married a good few years by then , and didnt really stop my old life as still working, going out etc. I would like another but dont want to wait to long as 35 is my personal cut off for being too old.

negrilbaby Sun 27-Oct-13 19:47:46

41 and 43.
My only regrets are that I'm now too old to have any more - and I realise that if I had started earlier I would not have stopped with two.

BergholtStuttleyJohnson Mon 28-Oct-13 05:58:37

22 and 24. I don't plan on having anymore. I'm happy with the age gap and having them young means that once they're at school I can go to uni and have a career with no breaks for mat leave and me and dh will still be quite young when they're adults.

mzdemeanour Mon 28-Oct-13 06:10:58

I had my DTs five days before I turned 40. Never really wanted kids till I was in my late 30s, then was told I couldn't have any due to early menopause then fell very unexpectedly pregnant with twins. Right age for me and while I am often knackered, think that would have been the case anyway with twins.

WinterOfOurDiscontent Mon 28-Oct-13 10:29:44

Had dc1 aged 29 and dc2 aged 30.

stowsettler Mon 28-Oct-13 13:55:45

39 (nearly 40 actually). I was far too immature to have kids before then grin

BoyGirlBoy3 Mon 28-Oct-13 13:59:55

23,25 and 30 smile

Ilovemyrabbits Mon 28-Oct-13 13:59:59

I was 36 when dd came along. My first miscarriage came at 30, so we were about 6 years off from the original plan. I tried one last time at 40, but miscarried for the 4th time. That was enough. There are swings and roundabouts with having kids late and early. I would have loved more, but time didn't allow. I have suggested to my 12 year old dd that having children shouldn't be left too long as problems can occur. I also added that too early isn't great either, so please keep a lid on it til you've got your degree!

AWhistlingWoman Mon 28-Oct-13 14:09:45

29 - DD1 and DD2
31 - DS1
34 - DD3 due anytime soon

Gap about 2yrs 8 months both times.

Wish I'd started earlier as had complications in my pregnancies and can't help thinking I would have avoided these had I been younger (don't know if there is any truth in that however!)

weeblueberry Mon 28-Oct-13 14:25:20

I'm 29 and just had DD. Wouldn't have had her any younger personally. DP and I met when I was 25 and I wanted done time that was just ours before we had a family. It also meant I was more established in my career so a years break wouldn't have such an impact as it might have when I wS younger smile

But when you're ready you're ready. No one else's circumstances really matter smile

slothlike Mon 28-Oct-13 22:08:19

I was 20 when I had DS. Unplanned, but it worked out pretty nicely and DS2 is due in February, when I'll be 24. I'd like to have all my kids by the time I'm 30!

isharp Tue 29-Oct-13 13:13:54

hi i was 16 when i became pregnant with my firstand second had the twins when i was sixteen i then got two more kids when there parents died and now i am 18 and pregnant again with twins also so i have 4 kids under the age of 3 twins who are four as they are my brother and sister and two more on the way

Was 19 when I had DD1 who was a huge surprise! had DD2 when I was 31 and am pregnant with DS1 and will be 32 almost 33 when he is born. Am nervous about the small age gap with the little ones!

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