Six year old son playing Halo with his brother - right or wrong?

(56 Posts)
AugustMoon Wed 02-Oct-13 19:33:41

I don't want him to play it, it's rated 16. "D"H is sitting there now with them playing it and telling DS2 he will let him play it when I'm not here, the only reason it is rated 16 is because it is played online (and he's not playing it online so it's ok) and that I'm an idiot.
For context I have called him irresponsible.

CMOTDibbler Wed 02-Oct-13 19:35:45

wrong. totally wrong. They are rated for a reason, and its not being online

AugustMoon Wed 02-Oct-13 19:37:50

Thanks. Please keep your opinions coming, I just had to send DS2 upstairs because he wants to sit there watching it. Now I am the baddie.

defineme Wed 02-Oct-13 19:42:10

So he's undermining you in front of the kids?
I was under the impression that the certificates were there because of violence etc?
I might let a 13 yr old play a 16, but a 6 yr old?

I'm afraid your dh is an immature twat who's afraid of saying no to his kids and doesn't understand that the important thing is not being your ds's mate, but guiding and protecting them.

Just because it's scifi doesn't mean it doesn't celebrate war and violence.

As the Halo games are lauded for being the most authentic 'first person shooters' does that mean your dh wants your 6 yrold to gain the most realistic view of killing someone that he can get? Nice...

AugustMoon Wed 02-Oct-13 20:14:44

Hi All

DH here. I feel it is important to explain the real circumstances around the playing of the games. We have a number of game for all ages that we bought for the kids and to be totally honest, regardless of the age recommended for the games, a number of them has the same routine. I am sure that those of you who are exposed to the gaming world based on the games your children play, Sonic the Hedge Hog, Skylanders hell even some of the old atari games are basically the idea of your character running around or flying around shooting some form of enemy. I certainly believe that, with proper couching and parenting and having the good connection that i have with my kids, I am able to able to ensure that they are aware that these actions are certainly not how one would behave in the "Real World" by any means.

I would also like to add that i would prefer the kids to play these games with me present so that I can keep the watchful eye.

As far as undermining DW, it is very difficult not to when after the day that I have had which includes, going to the 6 years old school to take part in an exercise with the class, picking both kids up after school every day with a one year old on my hip, making them snacks and helping them with there homework every day whilst running a business only to be told in front of the children in a very aggressive manner that I am, and I quote, " f@cking Sh1t," for not noticing that we were low on Nappies, cleaning the house and so on. This verbal abuse when one for at least an hour. All whilst I was discussing a problem that my older child was having at school and while he was crying and upset.

I think that it is best to look at the whole picture before passing judgement. Under normal circumstance, I would not undermine DW in front of the kids but sadly I feel that, at times, she can be totally in the wrong about a lot and has the tendency to drive one to it.

Before you start throwing stones as requested by DW in order to mount them up so that she can build up her attack further, please think carefully about what content your kids are being exposed to with and without our knowledge. Star wars for example has more violence and aggression then two brothers playing Halo with their father in a world that my kids have skillfully created without help. If anything, I am proud of what they have been able to achieve.

I am sorry to say it but the way children play together is changing. They no longer run around the garden pointing sticks at each other pretending to shoot each other. Well some do but how long will that last.

Sirzy Wed 02-Oct-13 20:16:30

Sorry you can try to justify it however you like but letting a 6 year old play a 16 rated game is wrong.

Would you let an 8 year old watch an 18 film?

AugustMoon Wed 02-Oct-13 20:21:32

I think that you have to take the content into account. Are you talking do to violence or sexual content? I would also like to remind you that what happens whilst the boys are playing is totally in there control where a film is not and can be shocking. The answer is obviously no. Did your kids watch Harry Potter?

Can I add that it was only an issue recently whilst the DW was in a bad mood and not an issue before when she herself has played the game.

Sirzy Wed 02-Oct-13 20:23:44

Content is taken into account by the experts who give them the ratings.

cupcake78 Wed 02-Oct-13 20:27:02

Wrong

AugustMoon Wed 02-Oct-13 20:29:12

I went to Tesco and DH hijacked my post. Apologies everyone. Sigh This is what I am dealing with.

kutee Wed 02-Oct-13 20:42:05

I think you should look at recent news in America where a child who was below 10 was taken to court and charged because he was playing an underage game and took a hammer, gun and knife with him to school. Obviously to protect him from zombies.

AugustMoon Wed 02-Oct-13 20:46:56

Seriously Kutee?

Ilovemydogandmydoglovesme Wed 02-Oct-13 20:49:12

I love Halo but I wouldn't let my six year old watch it. Get a grip August'sDH, it's not suitable and justifying it by the rest of your worldly good deeds doesn't really cut it. Grow up.

fuzzpig Wed 02-Oct-13 20:52:07

Your DH is wrong.

gretagrape Thu 03-Oct-13 07:56:12

I think I'd be tackling the shouting and swearing in front of the kids, which is real aggression right there in their living room being played out by the two people who they love and rely on the most, before I worried about the smaller issue of whether they should be playing a 16 rated game.

Seb101 Thu 03-Oct-13 08:38:11

Agree with gretagrape. Your children witnessing shouting and swearing parents is going to be more damaging than playing a 16 rated game occasionally. Id forget the game and tackle the aggression and conflict going on in your real lives.

It's fine for her to play the game because she's presumably over the rating age.
And no I didn't let my seven year old watch the Harry Potters with the higher ratings. Deathly hallows has some horrible bits and I wouldn't want them seeing that.

Stop trying to justify your bad parenting (ops dh) by accusing us of things we don't necessarily do.

Oh and I'm looking at the question of the ratings. How your wife talks to you (and you her) in front of the children is another matter. One person doing something horrible doesn't make other horrible things ok.

mummyxtwo Thu 03-Oct-13 09:39:37

I think the two of you need to sit down and work out how you can resolve different attitudes to parenting and conflict not in front of the kids. What both of you seem to be failing to understand is that your arguing and undermining each other and not showing respect for one another is far more damaging to the children in the long run than actually the violent game-playing is.

And I do think that Halo is hugely inappropriate for a 6yo. I love Halo personally, at Uni we used to play it loads and for older kids who really want to play some sort of game like this, at least it has monsters and is clearly not real, as opposed to some of the frighteningly life-like games that are around these days, which I hate. To say that the way children are playing nowadays is changing and we should adapt to that is quite frankly, in my opinion, sacrificing your own standards and morals "because everyone else is doing it". That is not the way I choose to parent, and my children do not watch anything violent or that encourages aggressive behaviour. I appreciate that you are trying to allow these games in an environment where you emphasize that is it just play, but all the same the way children play and the type of tv programs etc that they watch does influence the way they play. Ds1 watched a couple of power ranger episodes when he was 4yo and his play became all about karate moves and attacking monsters. We stopped him watching them and he chooses to play more now with cars and his disney planes toys (he is nearly 5yo). Of course he still sometimes pretends to shoot monsters, as all small boys do, but this isn't the basis of the majority of his play. Kids grow up too fast these days, and if we just say "everyone's doing it so it's fine" then our children will miss out on an innocent childhood - that may sound dramatic but where do you draw the line? If you let a 6yo play video games that are for 16y+ do you lapse standards on dvds too, and tv shows? But even more important, you and your partner need to figure out how and when to discuss matters you disagree on, not in front of the children, unless you want them to grow up learning that it is okay to be rude to and disrespect your partner. Couple that with playing violent video games from a young age - not a great start in life for your kids.

MissBattleaxe Thu 03-Oct-13 09:49:23

I think that allowing young children to play violent games desensitises them from real life violence. You can tell them that guns are bad til you're blue in the face, but to then say it's OK to play at killing is just sending mixed messages.

MiaowTheCat Thu 03-Oct-13 12:23:46

I'm a gamer.

I would have LESS issue with something fantasy based like Halo than with something shooting obviously human people like the likes of Call of Duty... and Grand Theft Auto (and Football Manager/Champ Manager - but that one's for the "oh just one more season... oh just let me finish winning the FA Cup" factor and the only violence likely is ME if I have to wait four more hours for Little Tittington United to win the Premiership in order to get the bin emptied) is the one I point blank won't allow in the house - but generally I ask DH to confine the shooting type games until when the kids are in bed (I also ask him not to shoot the little cute critter guys in it that amuse me endlessly with the lines they come out with - but he refuses to listen to that part) as best as we can. He's fine with that - mainly since I mentioned a friend's son had wrecked two Xbox controllers with teething drool on them though!

The real issue is why the pair of you are caught up in this turf war trying to use the internet as some kind of ammunition to throw at each other though - and that one no amount of opinions on here can sort out really.

Personally I think the 16 rating on it is probably a bit OTT (although some of the antics in the online bit explain a LOT) - but I'd not be happy with a 6 year old playing on it really either. That's based on knowing every game in the franchise and not some knee jerk reaction either BTW.

kutee Thu 03-Oct-13 12:44:48

Yes seriously. It was in the paper last week. His father was shocked that he was charged and stated that the gun was unloaded.

fieldfare Thu 03-Oct-13 12:55:53

Utterly wrong. Ratings are there for a reason.
I do not agree with children playing games or watching films beyond their age.
And yes, my children do run around the garden with sticks, they also dig in the sand, they bounce on the trampoline, they ride their bikes, we go to the park. All while working as a cm with two 1 yr olds in the house, so doing exactly what you're lamenting about.

kutee Thu 03-Oct-13 13:16:26

It was in the daily mail. He was 9 and the game was
Mine craft

titchy Thu 03-Oct-13 13:31:00

Minecraft kutee hmm - that's designed for 9-13 year olds......

AugustMoon Thu 03-Oct-13 13:44:56

MiaowTheCat I appreciate your comments - to be honest he really just seemed so blind to the fact that it is (in my view blatantly) unsuitable and seemed to think that I was making it up when i said that most responsible parents wouldn't allow it that i wanted to reassure myself if anything. He has a tendency to tell me i'm mad and don't know what I'm talking about so I needed mumsnet for my own peace of mind! I am appalled at how he then took over the post when i was out buying nappies and used trying to justify himself by discrediting me and making me out to be horrible, completley missing the point. I feel relieved that you all seem to have seen through it. Thank god. But yes Miaow you are right - it is obviously an issue aside from the whole gaming problem.

makingparentsrealise Thu 03-Oct-13 13:55:07

Hey you know what the first computer was built for? It was built for entertainment so without games you might not have a computer.

makingparentsrealise Thu 03-Oct-13 13:58:06

Gaming problem? Your like acting your talking about bugs also I earn money through playing games like those competitively.

makingparentsrealise Thu 03-Oct-13 14:03:36

I have to call your husband out though if he hasn't assured it isn't real and it is fake. Just make cards called pixel time and they can get up to two hours of time on technology and they get it for good school grades or doing chores or etc.

VoodooHexDoll Thu 03-Oct-13 14:04:13

It is classed as abuse to show a child games or dvds they are underaged for.

We have a 4yo son and we have an xbox. We let him play the lego games batman and indianna jones. He loves superheros and fighting. He likes spiderman and avangers and watches the cartoons. Im unsure if its right or not as he does not have nightmears and hopefull understands its not real.

I think we forget how innocent children are. They might not understand the words or be able to express what they feel and might not get the fine detail of the social intention in most dvds or games but they will rember what they have seem abd put it into context later on and you might not be able to see it happening.

I do not want my child seeing adult contence because he is not an adult and does not process it in the same way an adult would. Its so easy for them to misinturpte what they see before you even relise what they are thinking or doing.

Why would you want a six year old to learn to shoot mosters/people? Why is protecting their innocence not a high pirority to you?

I think you are fighting between yourselves and not looking at it from the point of view of the six year old.

makingparentsrealise Thu 03-Oct-13 14:11:04

I remember when it was 1999 I had a n64 they let me play blast core on it did I become a rampant killer and started shooting up schools and not interacting with others no. It depends on the persons mental stability.

makingparentsrealise Thu 03-Oct-13 14:12:25

My parents knew it was a bad game but they knew I was stable.

makingparentsrealise Thu 03-Oct-13 14:13:50

I was popular in school because I had a n64 with pokemon stadium.

VoodooHexDoll Thu 03-Oct-13 14:16:28

No it depends on the parenting.

Im the youngest of 4 with a 16 year age gap so i got to watch hudson hawk at 8 and horror film and had nightmears because of poor parenting and neglect. Its easy to put the younger child to bed then let the older child play age ok games/dvds its not rocket science but it needs the parents to think about the kids and to give a shit frankly.

titchy Thu 03-Oct-13 14:18:49

makingparentsrealise - I'm not quite sure what you're trying to say - your posts are very poorly worded.

But just because you (and thousands of other kids) played violent games/saw violent films etc and didn't become a gun-toting killer doesn't actually make it OK.

I'm sure the majority of 6 year olds who are exposed to porn vidoes do not go out a rape people, but I hope you'd agree that doesn't therefore make it OK for kids to view that sort of material.

To the OP's dh - it's pretty poor of you to let them play this, and to justify it by saying it's how you 'bond' with your kids. There are plenty of child-centred ways you can play with them - don't drag them into your adult-centred play time.

But both of you need to agree sharpish not to argue or get snippy at each other in front of your kids. Suggest Relate or similar....

makingparentsrealise Thu 03-Oct-13 14:19:19

That too.

VoodooHexDoll Thu 03-Oct-13 14:19:56

The govenment give parents age rating to help make it easier for parents to make the right choice. The guildlines are there to be used and to protect children because they are children not adults and they need parents to protect them and make the right chose.

makingparentsrealise Thu 03-Oct-13 14:22:36

If you don't like it then it's your opinion hell if you list sensible reasons why you think games are bad I might even agree to some of them.

makingparentsrealise Thu 03-Oct-13 14:25:02

They are children but if they know what it is and how to react to them. Also the point of horror movies are to make you afraid and have nightmares because its kinda fun.

VoodooHexDoll Thu 03-Oct-13 14:25:12

Also by making the hard calls and enforceing them you show your children that you love them and make them feel more stable, care for and protected.

I have and never will thank my parents for letting me watch adult themed films and tv because as an adult i can see it was wrong.

As parents we will be accountable to our children when they are adults so op husband its not us that you need to justify this to but your adult son when he calls you on it.

MurderOfBanshees Thu 03-Oct-13 14:26:36

It's not appropriate for a 6 year old, no way at all.

makingparentsrealise Thu 03-Oct-13 14:29:55

Okay just remove it from them and get them a more child friendly console like a 3ds.

cupcake78 Fri 04-Oct-13 06:37:22

Buy them a book! I take it the 6 yr old can't read fluently yet but can play on a computer console. Instead of spending so much time arguing and playing computer games read to your children, have family dinners together go for walks.

Yes my judgy pants are that high they'll strangle me!

makingparentsrealise Sat 05-Oct-13 12:48:15

I remember when I had my Gameboy Advanced my friends played with me on it and I took it to school my reading skill is great I can read any word in the dictionary and spell it.

stringornothing Sat 05-Oct-13 13:21:17

Nothing wrong with playing computer games as a family on the cold dark autumn evenings. But there are loads of good age appropriate games you could play together that have suitable content for children and offer an entertaining challenge for the adults. Just like curling up on the sofa together with some popcorn to watch a DVD is a good way to bond - you just need to pick Star Wars rather than Alien.

However I agree that parents having an uncontrolled row in front of them will damage children far more than playing Halo.

LumpySpacePrincessOhMyGlob Sat 05-Oct-13 13:30:56

Other issues aside you are definitely not being unreasonable, it's a completely unsuitable game for a 6 year old.

makingparentsrealise Sun 06-Oct-13 16:03:33

I agree with you Lumpy but if the child is stable and knows its all fake they can play it.

makingparentsrealise Sun 06-Oct-13 16:06:13

I have seen idiot parents who believe everything on the news and parents who give their children bad games at young age without caring.

BazilGin Sun 06-Oct-13 20:49:13

I think letting a 6 year old play it is idiotic. I am a gamer myself, my DH is in the industry, both agree that it's very irresponsible. He is 6, ffs! I played it myself, wouldn't let a primary school child play it. IDIOTIC decision.

makingparentsrealise Mon 07-Oct-13 01:59:03

I agree its a idiotic decision but if they are stable they can play it.

Lostinspace1 Mon 07-Oct-13 04:24:44

I think it's idiotic to assume your kid 'is stable' enough to play it. How can you make that judgment? You aren't going to be immediately aware of the impact it will have on them.

Regarding horror films - my mum used to let me at 8 yrs watch things like 'Nightmare on Elmstreet' etc because I had an older brother. It screwed up my sleeping for years. She obviously 'assumed' I was capable of watching it.

makingparentsrealise Mon 07-Oct-13 12:53:36

Well you must have agreed to watch it so it was your child hood mistake.

mummyxtwo Mon 07-Oct-13 15:03:50

What an odd response that last post is.

AugustMoon Mon 07-Oct-13 15:21:25

makingparentsrealise are you the complete ticket?

MurderOfBanshees Mon 07-Oct-13 15:49:39

making Is a teen boy with a fixation on children needing to play games an who thinks we should encourage more game play, possibly as an educational tool.

makingparentsrealise Tue 08-Oct-13 06:59:03

I am 19 and I am not saying people need to play games.

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