Does anybody still wipe an 8 year old after using the loo?

(49 Posts)
strokey Fri 23-Aug-13 17:53:32

Or is it just me? He doesn't poo at school, waits til he gets home. Says he doesn't want to get his hands dirty, Ive no idea where he gets the OCD tendencies from, Im a lazy slut when it comes to personal hygiene.

crumpledinside Fri 23-Aug-13 17:57:05

I stopped wiping before mine started primary.

OverTheFieldsAndFarAway Fri 23-Aug-13 17:57:11

He should be able to do it himself. I'm slightly horrified TBH,

WayHarshTai Fri 23-Aug-13 17:59:09

Message deleted by Mumsnet for breaking our Talk Guidelines. Replies may also be deleted.

Maryz Fri 23-Aug-13 18:00:31

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

strokey Fri 23-Aug-13 18:01:34

Odd little sausage?? So nobody else? I do know its unusual, but wondered how unusual.

strokey Fri 23-Aug-13 18:02:45

Clearly not Maryz. Are you implying Im a poo troll?

FacebookWanker Fri 23-Aug-13 18:03:30

Absolutely not. And when I was 8 I would not have let my mum or dad do that for me.

strokey Fri 23-Aug-13 18:04:06

Well thanks, obviously nobody will take this seriously thanks to you two stalkers

TippiShagpile Fri 23-Aug-13 18:05:21

I stopped wiping my children's bottoms when they were 3.

HTH

Maryz Fri 23-Aug-13 18:05:34

No, just that you seem to have rather odd opinions and problems. The answer to this thread is clearly "no, unless the child has quite serious SN".

strokey Fri 23-Aug-13 18:07:43

Message deleted by Mumsnet for breaking our Talk Guidelines. Replies may also be deleted.

duchesse Fri 23-Aug-13 18:08:49

8? Erm, no. Barring special needs I can't see why any child of that age wouldn't be able to wipe themselves. Tell him to do his poo then have a shower if he's really bothered- that way he'll be spotlessly clean and you won't have to wipe his bot any more. Win-win.

SparkyTGD Fri 23-Aug-13 18:09:34

blush I do

DS is 8, has some health issues, often gets infected skin in groin area and I suppose I'm a bit OTT about it.

I do get him to wipe first & feel really daft when I do it for him.

Before anyone asks, yes he is my PFB

WayHarshTai Fri 23-Aug-13 18:09:36

Stalkers grin.

As IF.

It's just that you are quite noticeable what with your, um, odd opinions and posts.

Are you feeling ok? <headtilt>

MirandaWest Fri 23-Aug-13 18:10:22

My DC are 9 and 7 and I haven't wiped their bottoms for years.

NeoMaxiZoomDweebie Fri 23-Aug-13 18:15:40

I have only seen a couple of threads started by this OP....what's wrong with people on here? She's not started any poo threads or anything before this one. WayHarsh no offence but you don't know the posters picking on the OP personally do you? So you're not qualified to jump in all sarcastic are you.

NeoMaxiZoomDweebie Fri 23-Aug-13 18:16:54

I do think though that you need to stop this. It's not good for a child of 8 to be wiped like that. What on earth will he do on a school residency?

ExcuseTypos Fri 23-Aug-13 18:17:26

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

strokey Fri 23-Aug-13 18:23:22

I take it you are referring to the fact I give my husband oral sex on occasion? Shall I now go through your past posts to find some utterly arbitrary way to insult you?

Ive asked for the post to be removed and I shall be changing my user name. Thanks for the serious replies, I know its very late, I was hoping to sort it before next term but he gets quite upset when I encourage him to do it himself. I was hoping someone would post "Oh yes I did, he grew out of it aged 9"

strokey Fri 23-Aug-13 18:24:31

Thread to be removed even, now that everyone has me down as the girl who started the poo crumb thread

LadyMilfordHaven Fri 23-Aug-13 18:25:57

no way

Maryz Fri 23-Aug-13 18:26:58

Ok, I'm sorry, I have asked for my post to be removed.

I haven't been stalking - I haven't even AS'ed, I just happened to notice your name on a very odd thread yesterday and this looked like a very odd op.

But I apologise unreservedly if this is a real problem and I'll put on my thinking cap. My initial feeling is that if you normalise the fact that you have to wipe him, then he may well not feel clean if you aren't there to do the wiping, which would explain why he is waiting until he comes home to poo.

Sorry again smile

DiamondDoris Fri 23-Aug-13 18:27:23

With DS (7) I still do it. He has gluten/dairy issues which makes things messy plus ASD, and he used to play with it and still would given half the chance. I feel bad about doing it but really just want to avoid mess. My DD (10) probably did it before reception.

ethelb Fri 23-Aug-13 18:27:34

@sparky have you spoken to the GP about bathing in dermol and washing all underwear at 60C? That might get on top of it.

woopsidaisy Fri 23-Aug-13 18:27:57

DS1 is 8 and I still wipe him-reluctantly, but he just wouldn't do it! And I know of a few mums at school that still do too. I didn't think it was that unusual tbh.
Obviously I have been at him to do it himself for years. And the last few weeks he has started to do it himself if I'm not around. He went on his first sleepover, and I said that he will need to do it himself on trips etc. I think this has convinced him to do it.

Maryz Fri 23-Aug-13 18:28:13

Sorry, I cross-posted. I didn't see either of your last two posts. It wasn't the oral, it was the poor woman whose dh is a twat. The thread got odd and I hid it, so I've no idea what the outcome was.

ethelb Fri 23-Aug-13 18:29:39

Why are all of these 8 year olds boys? Because no one would ever expect that level of helplessness from a girl, that's why. (barring obviousl SN/health issues obv)

youarewinning Fri 23-Aug-13 18:32:27

I do help my DS (9). But he has bowel issues and suspected ASD and the fact he still needs assistance is one of the things that qualifies him for DLA!

TippiShagpile Fri 23-Aug-13 18:32:54

Ethelb - I have 2 boys. As I said up thread I haven't wiped their backsides since they were 3.

PoppyAmex Fri 23-Aug-13 18:33:27

Have nothing to add to the OP problem and haven't Advanced Searched but the only thread I remember Strokey commenting was the Barckays complaint and she made me laugh. grin

(Hope I have the right person)

ExcuseTypos Fri 23-Aug-13 18:35:17

I apologise too and I've reported my post for deletion.

num3onway Fri 23-Aug-13 18:35:47

My elder dc are 4&5 and wipe theirselves

Has he tried using toilet wipes? My boys use these and seem to do a good job

ethelb Fri 23-Aug-13 18:36:27

@tippi of course there are some parents who react normally to the arrival of a male child. But then there are those who behave very very oddly, in a way that you never hear of happening to the parents of female children.

Like wiping a healthy, 8-year-old boy's bum. He's only three years off secondary school ffs.

Why do the parents of girls get their brains transplanted after childbirth so less frequently? It is so, so odd. confused

TippiShagpile Fri 23-Aug-13 18:38:00

@ethelb - point taken grin

girliefriend Fri 23-Aug-13 18:39:15

My dd is 7yo and would be horrified if I went anywhere near her bum grin

She does sometimes use wet wipes when at home though, would that help? Also I would tell him he has to wipe first and then you will check he is clean and encourage hand washing etc if germs concern him. Is he normally overly anxious?

miemohrs Fri 23-Aug-13 18:40:42

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

colditz Fri 23-Aug-13 18:40:50

Er, no. NOT A CHANCE. I haven't wiped a bum since ds2 was about 4, and only then because he was very small for his age and couldn't reach.

I have a 7yo cousin who was wiping himself until his sister was born aged 4 and then decided he couldn't do it himself and will shout for someone to do it. His mum and dad didn't want to push it but it's obviously 3 years now and ignoring isn't working. I have refused when we were the only ones there and he did do it himself though. I know that's a different situation but he's a similar age to yours.

sheeplikessleep Fri 23-Aug-13 18:43:29

DS1 is 6 in October and is of the very happy to have everything done for him camp.

However, I stopped wiping him just before he started school, so when he was 4. He isn't massively clean all the time, but I've come to accept the odd skid mark. He has got better at this actually since I very explicitly told him to wipe until no more poo was coming off onto the tissue. I think that gave him something definitive to prompt him to finish, If that makes sense.

Maryz Fri 23-Aug-13 18:43:51

Hey, you should have left Shakey's post. She's entitled to call me names when I'm sarky.

miemohrs Fri 23-Aug-13 18:44:00

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Maryz Fri 23-Aug-13 18:44:26

Sorry, strokey, not shakey confused

SparkyTGD Fri 23-Aug-13 18:47:38

Good advice miemohrs

ethelb he does use a prescribed anti-bac bath stuff, it was hard to get for a while & think that led to the last outbreak.

I'll get some toilet wipes & see if that helps.

He also doesn't go at school, but I don't blame him, I've seen the toilets.

LingDiLong Fri 23-Aug-13 18:48:13

My 6 year old DS sometimes asks me for help. He eats a LOT of fruit, with a rather predictable effect on his bowels. He gets a bit worried about cleanliness and once in a while he'll shout me to just check he's got everything.

In the interests of encouraging independence I think you should work on this with him - maybe toilet wipes to start with?

I really don't get why some mumsnetters get so het up about this issue though. I've commented on one of these kinds of threads before and was absolutely flamed to death for still wiping my then 4 year old. Really, really odd. Yes, kids should be encouraged to be independent but the absolute frothing hysteria about bum wiping is far wierder than an 8 year old getting his mum to wipe his arse if you ask me.

meandtheboys Fri 23-Aug-13 19:30:54

My DS1 is just 6 and I stopped wiping for him just a few weeks ago. I know most kids do it on their own earlier apparently but DS1 had massive issues regarding his bowels and would hold poo in for ages. (He went 18 days without a poo once shock ) He ended up on medication for it which made his poo very soft and messy. He's got no issues now but still won't poo at school!

BoozyBear Fri 23-Aug-13 19:37:19

my 6yo has help, i make him do the majority of it himself, then i will 'check'
but he does have motorskill problems and he finds it difficult.

dd is 4 and i still do it for her.

how do you teach them to do it? i'm paranoid about the mess they make doing it themselves, there's poo and loo roll everywhere!

ethelb Fri 23-Aug-13 21:31:39

And lo and behold. All the children needing help are male. What did I say?

No I don't. But judging from his pants I probably should.

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