Do you take your few week old baby to the toilet with you?

(75 Posts)
Madratlady Sun 21-Jul-13 21:51:34

I know you're supposed to have your baby in the same room as you all the time, I just wondered if that means you should take it to the toilet with you?

Probably a silly question but this will be my first dc so I just want to try and make sure I do things 'right'.

Wigeon Sun 21-Jul-13 21:52:21

No, if they are lying somewhere safe / asleep.

maja00 Sun 21-Jul-13 21:55:24

I didn't when he was a few weeks old, unless he was distressed - if happily in cot/bouncer/floor then it's fine to go to the toilet.

Once he was crawling he mostly followed me of course.

Keeping them in the same room as you for sleeps is very sensible, but it's ok to pop out for a few minutes to use the toilet or shower.

purrpurr Sun 21-Jul-13 21:55:48

No. Hell no. I think SIDS advice might mean I should, but no. I'd never do another poo if I did... Once had to have a wee with the cat watching and I was totally mortified, that is more than enough for me.

I also now don't bring DD with me when I shower mostly.

Going to parenting hell already and she's only 9 weeks sad.

dyslexicdespot Sun 21-Jul-13 21:56:05

I did but I was a little traumatised after his birth and had a very hard time leaving him. I would set him down in his Moses basket and bring him with me.

TheYamiOfYawn Sun 21-Jul-13 21:56:07

Generally yes, as mine objected to not being held. If I had a baby who slept alone at that age, I would happily leave a sleeping baby.

I think I'd trust your gut feelings on this one - if you feel wrong leaving your baby, then don't do it, but if it feels ok, then it probably is.

Smartiepants79 Sun 21-Jul-13 21:58:37

No. It takes seconds to go to the loo. Put them in the Moses basket and do your thing.
Much more hygienic.

Shellywelly1973 Sun 21-Jul-13 21:58:46

Seriously?!

FlatsInDagenham Sun 21-Jul-13 21:59:09

Haha - I bring my 16 month old baby to the toilet with me. And my 4 year old quite often invites herself along too.

Get used to it folks!

redwellybluewelly Sun 21-Jul-13 21:59:33

DD1 never ever left her anywhere - she was very poorly as a baby and had to be constantly monitored. Plus she wouldn't be put down.

DD2 comes with me if DD1 is at home as I cannot leave her anywhere completely safe, unless she is asleep in which case I take DD1 with me!

Passmethecrisps Sun 21-Jul-13 21:59:50

Not a silly question. I wondered this also. My wee one was fine left for the few seconds it took to have a wee. Showers happened in nap times. Now she is a crawling maniac she gets popped in the cot for showers if I can't have them at nap times and I have the quickest wees ever.

The SIDS advice is really important but you will want to move from room to room - don't worry too much when you are talking minutes at a time.

IwishIwasmoreorganised Sun 21-Jul-13 22:00:50

No - enjoy going solo while you can! As soon as they get mobile even time on the loo is no longer private!

Passmethecrisps Sun 21-Jul-13 22:01:57

Every baby is different - mine was always fine left alone but others are not. Personally, unless my baby needed me to hold him or her all the time I wouldn't do it.

Actually, how do you work the logistics? Sling?

ArgumentativeAardvark Sun 21-Jul-13 22:03:27

My DD used to scream the house down if left alone for longer than 2 second so she came everywhere with me for months and months.

Now at 2 she either follows me or shouts up the stairs "what are you doing mummy? I come too!"

Passmethecrisps Sun 21-Jul-13 22:04:25

Also, I might be wrong but the SIDS advice is that the baby should sleep with someone in the same room. If baby is awake and happy to be left then no issue. Also, if you are going about your normal business while baby snoozes in the front room they would be unlikely to come to harm.

Wigeon Sun 21-Jul-13 22:08:42

Actually, that's a point, you definitely don't HAVE to take them to the toilet with you (I'm sure the SIDS advice doesn't mean that you do), but they will almost certainly go through a phase where they scream if you leave the room and you end up taking them to the toilet rather than be stressed by the sound of screaming baby and holding them awkwardly while you actually go

exoticfruits Sun 21-Jul-13 22:16:41

No! It will be bad enough later on when they want to come with you!

changechangechange Sun 21-Jul-13 22:19:15

Yes, mine was a cry-if-you-put-me-down baby. Even if he wasn't, I think I'd have still taken him to the bathroom and put him on his changing mat - would have felt odd (to me) to leave him in another room. Going for a wee single-handed is quite low on my list of one-hand achievements. grin

Meglet Sun 21-Jul-13 22:22:58

No. Mine did cry when I was in the bathroom, but taking them with me would have tipped me over the edge. There's no where to put them on the floor either, I'd have trodden on them.

ZingWidge Sun 21-Jul-13 22:24:48

no, I put a nappy on them

scottishmummy Sun 21-Jul-13 22:27:02

No,and you're not supposed to have baby superglued to you You 24-7
They don't need to be in same room as you.just somewhere safe
In fact get used to pop baby in cot so you can eat,make hot drink,get a break

cory Sun 21-Jul-13 23:55:20

No. I did take his older sister though. Didn't trust her not to murder him. wink

flipchart Sun 21-Jul-13 23:56:28

Did I heck!

ChippingInHopHopHop Sun 21-Jul-13 23:59:17

No - why on earth would you?

They don't need to be with you every minute of every day!

scottishmummy Mon 22-Jul-13 00:02:50

Get your baby used to time in cot,so you get time to shower,drink tea,chill out

adagio Mon 22-Jul-13 00:03:41

I took mine generally, popped her on the bathroom mat where she could see me, or on occasion managed a wee, wipe and hand wash with her still in my arms - you would be amazed what can be achieved with one hand when needed!

If she was ever happily asleep or playing I would have left her, but to be honest, I reckon I can count on the fingers of one hand the number of times that happened. Main issue is that she can go from fine to screaming, hysterical, mess which takes ages to calm down in a very very short space of time - I generally felt it was easier to keep her near to avoid this risk…

Showers in the early days - her in bouncy chair or moses (depending on asleep/awake) and now (as soon as she can hold up her head) in the door bouncer which she loves. I sing, badly - but she still thinks I have the voice of an angel grin

ReallyTired Mon 22-Jul-13 00:09:05

To the OP:

Congratulations on the birth of your precious first born grin

Seriously, if your baby is happy to be left for a couple of minutes then its fine to go to the toilet. A newborn should not be left unattended with dogs or older toddlers. It is fine to leave a baby in their moses basket or in a bouncy chair, or baby mat or activity gyn. Generally your baby will let you know if he or she is uncomfortable.

Don't leave your baby on a bed or sofa unattended as one day she will roll when you least expect it.

ReallyTired Mon 22-Jul-13 00:10:08

Oh sorry, I just realised your first born has not yet arrived. Congratulations on your bump!

GreyWhites Mon 22-Jul-13 00:12:31

No no no. No need at all. So long as your baby is in a safe place and position etc.The SIDS stuff is about them sleeping in the same room as you at night. You have to be in a different room to your baby at some points, how would you manage to do anything otherwise? It never occurred to me to take a baby into the loo, it only takes a couple of minutes. Also most babies do need a bit of quiet time on their own now and again. Overstimulation can become a problem and they can end up getting exhausted and fractious.

scottishmummy Mon 22-Jul-13 00:15:08

I hope you have sensible hv,and gp to advise you too need time away from baby
Time for television,email,lunch without feeling baby need to accompany you to toilet

mathanxiety Mon 22-Jul-13 00:36:24

Occasionally if I thought I would be there a while and older toddler was belligerent. For DD1 (DC1) no.

DS (DC2) yes occasionally. DD1 was given to displays of 'affection' that involved squeezing and also prone to take initiative and feed him playdough, etc. If DD1 was trapped in the playpen then I left DS out where he was.

All subsequent babies -- played it by ear with safety of baby in mind.

The bathroom door was never locked as the DCs used to go through phases where they would come and bang on it or try to tell me long and involved tales on each other or to tell me someone was on the phone and it was frustrating not being able to hear them or tell them firmly to go away and be confident they could hear me. I made a rule that the only reason to interrupt me in the bathroom or when I was on the phone was if the house was on fire. If they interrupted I asked them sweetly if the house was on fire.

It's very important to get some bit of time for yourself during the day and especially to make a proper lunch and sit down and eat it. Nobody expects anyone to be on duty 24 hours a day in the world of work and you are working as a mother. Take your necessary breaks.

mathanxiety Mon 22-Jul-13 00:42:12

In order to supervise babies (with safety from other siblings and their friends in mind) I used to pop them into their carseat (old fashioned that doubled as a sort of rocking reclining cradle) and keep them close. I could transfer them easily to the car if we needed to go out that way.

They also napped in their buggy that converted into a pram so they could be moved to a quiet room if the older siblings wanted to play in the room they were in, and I could easily schlep them outdoors without waking them if everyone wanted to go to the park.

Not necessarily to the toilet for a quick wee, no. But the SIDS advice is to have baby in the same room as you for all sleeps, both night sleeps and day time naps. I just put something in each room for them to sleep/lie in safely (crib/pram/bouncy chair/swing), that I spent much time in, or did my jobs where they were at the time. Enjoy your lovely new bundle when (s)he arrives. smile

Sunnysummer Mon 22-Jul-13 02:14:51

Definitely don't need to, after all plenty of people have their newborns perfectly safely in a cot some distance from their bed or in another room altogether! But I have gone to the loo with DS asleep in the sling before, as waking him up is such a trauma all round smile

Nicknamefail Mon 22-Jul-13 08:15:31

Not a tiny baby. But my 9 mo comes now, or god only knows what she would get up to while I was having a wee. I think it is about safety so take tongues if there are toddlers around, or moving babies, but for SIDS, a few minutes is ok.

Nicknamefail Mon 22-Jul-13 08:26:16

Take tinies! Not tongues!

valiumredhead Mon 22-Jul-13 08:39:17

No of course not. I'm trying to imagine holding a baby safely, weeing, washing hands etc. Err no.

maja00 Mon 22-Jul-13 10:49:32

GreyWhites - SIDS advice is for day time as well as night time sleep.

mrsmartin1984 Mon 22-Jul-13 11:30:47

I only do it when I am out and about

weeblueberry Mon 22-Jul-13 12:22:36

No she either lies on her changing mat or in her bouncy chair. She's not a 'screams if you leave her' baby and is quite independent. When I have a shower I take her into te bathroom with me in her bouncy chair and talk or sing to her. Although she normally has a nap about 10 so I tend to shower then if I don't have anything else on.

CheungFun Mon 22-Jul-13 12:26:18

No, if I was really bursting to go to the toilet and DS was crying I'd still just pop him in the Moses basket whilst I used the toilet. It only takes a minute or two.

I did sometimes put him in his bouncy chair on the bathroom floor whilst I had a bath though smile

YoniBottsBumgina Mon 22-Jul-13 12:28:24

I did if he was refusing to be put down or have me out of his sight.

SIDS advice does apply to daytime as well as sleeping but it doesn't mean you can't leave the room even for a second - that's only when they're in the bath grin

lljkk Mon 22-Jul-13 12:35:15

I did if the alternative was listening to them scream wondering where I was.

Who says they have to be with you all the time? confused

91chloejp Mon 22-Jul-13 16:56:44

Cory that made me laugh.
with DS I was living with my parents for the first few weeks and my dad would prang out if I left him in his bouncer or swing to go wee, so I ended up taking him in with me. As soon as our house was finished I left and stopped bringing him in with me. He wasn't fussed either way

rowtunda Mon 22-Jul-13 18:31:49

Surely you don't need some bloody guidelines to make this sort of decision - it's just common sense.

The world has gone mad!

Bunbaker Mon 22-Jul-13 18:39:00

No. I like my privacy. There was never any need to have DD with me unless out in oublic places.

GobblersKnob Mon 22-Jul-13 18:43:45

If they are happy and settled, it is fine to nip off for a wee, make a cup of tea, whatever you need to do.

I used to tie mine on with a sling once I was up and then pretty much wear them all day, so they just went where ever I did, but it's not for everyone.

Kafri Mon 22-Jul-13 18:56:41

I have a 'scream when you leave me baby' and it was far far easier to take him with me than it was to calm him down afterwards. He's 7m now and I do now get to have a wee in peace until he gets on the move

If baby is happy to be left while you pee, flick kettle on, or other quick task then fine, if baby isn't, then you find ways around it and just manage!

Good luck.

nurseneedshelp Mon 22-Jul-13 19:02:27

Is this a joke?

What happened to putting the baby in the garden whilst they slept?!
Obviously in their pram.......

I've never heard anything like it?

The thread's pretty divided! That would suggest to me that you should do whatever feels most comfortable once baby is here smile

FWIW, I always did, it didn't bother me to have them there and they were happier smile

louisianablue2000 Mon 22-Jul-13 19:32:16

No, of course not. And the DDs (4&5) are no longer allowed in, although they do stand outside claiming they are desperate and need to pee nooooowwwwww and Mummy I'm going to pee myself so I'm not sure if I'd actually be better letting them in. DS is now 10 months and I dream of the time when I got to go to the toilet without a child sitting on my knee (or screaming blue murder if they are not on my knee).

scottishmummy Mon 22-Jul-13 19:32:37

Screamer or not I didn't have my dc velcroed to me.no way
Of course I had a pee on my own. Also made sure had some me time
I don't predict significant damage in time takes me to pee,wash hand,return

maja00 Mon 22-Jul-13 19:36:25

There is nothing wrong with keeping your baby with you as much as possible though - I felt better for having him nearby as a newborn. Your instincts are usually right on these things, just don't force yourself to do something you are uncomfortable with because you feel you should.

JellyWellyWoo Mon 22-Jul-13 19:57:31

I think this is up to you. If you feel more comfortable doing this then by all means do, if your little one is fine somewhere safe while you nip off for a min, then that's also fine smile Just do what is right for you, don't over think things, as long as baby is safe and content you are doing a good job. I don't usually take DD but some days she is a grouchy pants and wants me aaaaalll the time.

GingerDoodle Mon 22-Jul-13 20:30:35

Heck no; she's almost 1 months so obviously survived! The only time she has ever been in the toilet with me is when we are out and about.

BramshawHill Mon 22-Jul-13 21:52:20

I always took her in with me as a newborn, simply because it didn't take me seconds to use the loo. I had a 2nd degree tear that made it incredibly painful so I'd be sat there for 5/10 minutes trying to relax and not cry! At least if I had her with me, I wouldn't have to worry about her waking up, crying and me not being able to get to her.

Dackyduddles Mon 22-Jul-13 21:54:05

Pee alone while u can. This to will pass..... Lol

LastButOneSplash Mon 22-Jul-13 22:02:46

Do what feels right. I took mine with me and put him on his changing mat on the floor. I pretty much didn't leave him ever for the 1st months until SIDS risk had declined. But that's me and what made me feel comfortable.

OddFrog Mon 22-Jul-13 22:09:28

Wait and see who you get, they're all very different. Do what feels right at the time, this may vary from day to day. Or from pee to pee smile. Don't feel bad if you sometimes need a few minutes to yourself, just leave baby somewhere safe like in the cot. If all else fails, buy a stretchy wrap sling and you too can pee hands free.

GreyWhites Tue 23-Jul-13 00:02:23

Oh I didn't realise SIDS advice had changed to include daytime naps. Although I still don't think you need to take them with you for a wee, and definitely not if they're asleep and you risk waking them!

ReallyTired Tue 23-Jul-13 00:26:28

i think that SIDS advice on being in the same room means close by during the day. Ie. the baby is where you can see it easily. most people are more alert during the day than the night so the risks are less.

Taking a sleeping baby into the toilet is nuts and the chances of a baby dying in a few minutes is virtually nil. Otherwise how can you ever get anything done if you are always in the same room as the baby.

I would definate take a crawling baby if I needed a wee. We never had a baby pen, but some people use a baby pen to contain chaos.

exoticfruits Tue 23-Jul-13 07:06:42

If you can't go off for a wee it means that you are having to watch your baby the entire time!
I can't see the difference between leaving a sleeping baby to pop to the loo or having the sleeping baby with you in the kitchen and putting the washing in or making lunch etc- you can't look at them every minute.

changechangechange Tue 23-Jul-13 07:23:09

I thought the stuff about being in the same room as a sleeping baby was that somehow hearing your breathing helped them subconsciously remember to breathe, or something. Not suggesting that two - or even ten - mins to wee alone would therefore be 'dangerous', but I don't think it's just about whether you can see your baby.

LastButOneSplash Tue 23-Jul-13 08:08:00

It's not nuts to do whatever feels right for you and your baby. There are a fair number of people on this thread who did keep their baby with them, so it must be happening. Labelling new mums as 'nuts' for doing what they need to do to get through that stage isn't helpful. Sharing lots of different approaches so new mums can figure out what makes sense for them is.

exoticfruits Tue 23-Jul-13 08:09:06

I only know two cases and both babies died with the parent a few metres away, so I don't think it works like that.

LastButOneSplash Tue 23-Jul-13 08:12:19

Nobody knows how it works, that's the problem. There was a theory to do with breathing subconscious and stuff but there's lots of theories.

Ragwort Tue 23-Jul-13 08:13:22

No of course I didn't hmm - and my child has never, ever followed me to the toilet as you read on Mumsnet. And I let him sleep in his own room from 3 weeks.

exoticfruits Tue 23-Jul-13 08:21:14

So therefore you can nip to the loo and leave them in peace!

AnotherStitchInTime Tue 23-Jul-13 08:25:05

If dd2 was already in the sling yes, if not no.

I too have a 16 month old and a 4 year old that follow me to the toilet, it helped potty train dd1.

CharlotteBronteSaurus Tue 23-Jul-13 08:29:29

i did
not due to SIDS advice, but dd2 spent a good 12 weeks being pretty unputdownable, including only sleeping when on me

dd1 I happily left

Well said, LastButOne smile

Follow the path of least resistance is my parenting mantra, do whatever makes the most sense to you! grin

KingRollo Tue 23-Jul-13 08:34:39

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Katnisscupcake Tue 23-Jul-13 08:38:43

I'm with the Mums that say 'No'.

Never had to do it with DD whether she was asleep or awake, but then she wasn't a clingy baby at all.

I did however make sure that the dog was shut out of the room when I left DD for any period of time. And also I took DD to the bathroom in her bouncer when I had a shower.

MissAntithetic Tue 23-Jul-13 08:42:22

I did up until 4 months when I could leave her in her chair for a minute.

And now I do again because at 10 months she is a climber and unless she is asleep I wouldn't dare leave her!

I think there's two separate issues being discussed here - correct me if I'm wrong (I often am smile), but I don't think anyone is suggesting that leaving baby alone for two minutes while popping to the loo will cause or increase the risk of SIDS. Just that they either would or wouldn't feel comfortable in doing that for their own reasons, whether that be clingy/chilled baby or whatever. The other thing that has been brought up is the separate issue of babies under six months sleeping alone. This has been stated by official SIDS guidelines to increase the risk of SIDS and they therefore advise strongly against it. The guidelines now apply to all sleeps, including day naps and overnight sleeps.

So, I guess what that means is that as long as you have baby sleeping in the same room with you both during the day and overnight, then whether you decide to pop to the bathroom alone for two minutes, or take them with you, it's a personal decision, and what suits you and baby is best, and won't be going against SIDS guidelines if you have chosen to follow them.

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