What is one thing you didn't have as a kid, that you would like for your child.

(127 Posts)
Beeblebear Thu 18-Jul-13 04:50:38

My husbands answer to this would be the name Luke Skywalker. Luckily I uaed my labour veto for this one.

ratbagcatbag Thu 18-Jul-13 05:04:11

Mine would genuinely be a happy childhood, mine was miserable and I refuse to let the same happen for my dd. smile

TwllBach Thu 18-Jul-13 05:26:18

Can I have two things?

My first would be that I would want my dc to be treated equally by both parents. My dad quite obviously ha a favourite and it made things difficult between my brother and I.

My second would be that I would never want to involve my dc in arguments between me and dp. My childhood was filled with being told that mummy and daddy were thinking about getting a divorce and what did I think? And both of them used to tell us all the gory details of how the other was being horrible. I remember my father once asking my brother and I if we knew why mummy was out and was it because she had a new boyfriend? And my mother was particularly keen on coming to my room in tears because of xyz.

I won't be doing that to my dc.

A dad that isn't a total cunt.

icepole Thu 18-Jul-13 05:38:01

A sober mum.

mamalovebird Thu 18-Jul-13 06:07:14

Sober parents

I want my children to feel important and not like they are a total inconvenience

The chance to have an opinion of their own that is recognised as valid

The chance to do different activities and find out what they are good at. I never got to go to any classes or activities and would have loved to have learned the piano or guitar. It took me until my thirties to find hobbies that I'm good at and really enjoy.

PoppyWearer Thu 18-Jul-13 06:27:05

To give them an awareness of the world beyond our town, and encourage them to go and explore it.

To wish them to be confident, rounded people rather than solely focused on academic success.

To let them enjoy the here and now, whilst they are kids, through both material things, once-in-a-lifetime holidays and days out (that I was not allowed "because we can't afford it"), rather than squirrelling away every spare penny for my own retirement. (My Parents are now very comfortably off in retirement, but it does make me wonder why we lived so frugally all those years!)

To have friends over to play and birthday parties.

dyslexicdespot Thu 18-Jul-13 06:36:08

I want DS to grow up without ever feeling that he has to take care of me or involve himself in arguments DH and I have.

I want him to feel that DH and I are a solid unit that will love and protect him.

NothingsLeft Thu 18-Jul-13 06:41:22

Sober, non abusive parents.

I really want him to grow up around normal, stable relationships and be able to forge these himself later life.

coffeewineandchocolate Thu 18-Jul-13 06:45:12

to grow up without the pressure of religious beliefs being dictated and to have parents who are able to show affection.

LegArmpits Thu 18-Jul-13 06:48:31

A Mr Frosty.

support - i have always loved horses and riding but was not supported or encouraged by my family. i will support my boys in whatever sport/hobby they love (i hope its riding)

cogitosum Thu 18-Jul-13 06:59:41

To be able to walk to school , friends' houses, shops etc. we lived in the middle of nowhere and had to be driven everywhere.

Other than that i'd like them to pretty much have my childhood, I was very happy.

CitrusyOne Thu 18-Jul-13 06:59:45

See I thought of mr frosty first too legarmpits but then I came on the thread and all the relies were far deeper than that, and I thought that actually I had quite a good childhood

although I always wanted playdough and was never allowed it because my mum hated the smell

First thing i thought of - a scooter! I never had one and it drove me crazy as a child. Dd has always had one and broke the damned things and ds stands on his going wheeee wheeee whilst not going anywhere unless df is pushing him grin

I'd also like them to feel they can come to me for anything - yes I may say no/not be happy/be upset/disappointed - but I still want them to feel safe coming to me and know that I will do my best for them, whatever the situation.

Nishky Thu 18-Jul-13 07:07:52

Unconditional love.

exoticfruits Thu 18-Jul-13 07:07:53

Gosh, what a sad thread.
I have tried to think and I can't come up with anything!

Nishky Thu 18-Jul-13 07:09:59

I don't see it as sad exotic, yes it's horrible that people were unhappy as children, that is heartbreaking; but people moving on from that and being determined to ensure their children never feel that. I think that is uplifting.

SpecialAgentTattooedQueen Thu 18-Jul-13 07:15:56

A treehouse
A carebear to cuddle (v expensive when I was a child sad)
Old fashioned dollhouse For me

Not to inherit any of my MH problems.

To not be judged on their skin colour.

williaminajetfighter Thu 18-Jul-13 07:18:03

Dresses. Barbies. Girly things.

Mom was 70s feminist who dressed me in boys clothes and didn't let me have or play with any toys that furthered gender stereotyping.

recall Thu 18-Jul-13 07:18:59


ArabellaBeaumaris Thu 18-Jul-13 07:19:37

I would like my kids to feel like they fit in with their peers. Not sure whether anyone feels that, but I reckon being dressed reasonably nicely, being allowed long hair (girls), watching telly etc might help.

KnittedWaffle Thu 18-Jul-13 07:19:53

Screwball scramble.

marriedinwhiteagain Thu 18-Jul-13 07:23:48

That they know they were wanted. Encouragement.

FanjoForTheMammaries Thu 18-Jul-13 07:25:02

A dad.

Which she has and they adore each other smile

Siblings. Which she sadly won't have.

Twinklestarstwinklestars Thu 18-Jul-13 07:27:22

Food, clothing and general things we didn't get, my mum would spend all her money on her husband (not my dad) and we got next to nothing. I maybe spoil mine because of it but at least they're not humiliated at school etc.

Fluffycloudland77 Thu 18-Jul-13 07:29:50

Another one for a mr frosty.

HalfSpamHalfBrisket Thu 18-Jul-13 07:34:17

To feel physically warm (I grew up in a house with no heating in the bathroom or bedrooms).
To be able to bring friends home (house was a tip).
To give them reasons to try new things (...skills, experiences) rather than huge lists of reasons why not.

ithaka Thu 18-Jul-13 07:37:26

A Girlsworld (head you put make up on/style hair). I bought one for my daughter but she wasn't interested.

A mum who didn't have an affair leading to a messy public divorce in the middle of my exams. I will definitely never do that to my girls.

NothingsLeft Thu 18-Jul-13 09:01:54

I had a Mr Frosty and it was pretty cool.

ChoudeBruxelles Thu 18-Jul-13 09:06:15

Operation - oh if I could have two mousetrap as well. Although ds would probably want something else

I had a happy childhood really. Just hope ds has happy memories of his childhood when he's older

yawningbear Thu 18-Jul-13 09:13:21

To feel loved.

magichamster Thu 18-Jul-13 09:22:27

I think people are definitely in have and have not camps when it comes to Mr Frosty. I desperately wanted one but never had one, DH did, and therefore had a much more privileged childhood than me grin. I got one for DS when he was about 3 and I don't think I have ever been so disappointed.

I am glad I was able to give my ds a sibling. I didn't really like being an only child.

BelleDameSansMerci Thu 18-Jul-13 09:26:02

Security and happiness. Safety. Love. No exposure to dangerous adults.

And an Etch-A-Sketch. smile

Ragwort Thu 18-Jul-13 09:32:47

Agree with exoticfruits, this is such a sad thread; I can't think of anything really, I was brought up by a very loving mum and step-father (in fact they are still here - in their 80s and hope I can do my bit for them now grin) - we had a very happy childhood. My mother talks about things like being really hard up financially for a while (she was a single parent before she married DSF) but I never realised that we were 'poor'. There was the odd bit of embarrassment & angst when I was a teenager and obviously they laid down a few ground rules which I thought were too strict - but now I do exactly the same with my teens grin.

I have learned a lot from my own parents' as a role model for parenting and looking at the comments on this thread hope DH and I are doing the right thing. The one thing we make a huge effort with is giving our children a lot of support to develop their hobbies and activities even when they bore us rigid. I genuinely hope we are doing the right thing.

QTPie Thu 18-Jul-13 09:39:28

Self confidence.

Parents who take a genuine interest and do things with him - quality family time.

A genuinely good education with like-minded peers and lots of opportunities so that he can find and develop passions.

TerrysNo2 Thu 18-Jul-13 09:57:07

What a thread. I feel like quite a brat that my answer is a Barbie Doll grin

TerrysNo2 Thu 18-Jul-13 09:58:06

Sorry, not that I want one for DD, just that if she wants one I will buy her one IYSWIM

PoppyWearer Thu 18-Jul-13 10:00:56

Definitely 'Operation'.

My childhood wasn't unhappy as such, but I definitely realised how much we weren't allowed to have compared to other children. And now I see how sheltered I was, and how much of the world there is out there to see! Now I am the one trying to drag my parents to come and see the world with my DH and DCs, but they don't want to. (It's my Dad rather than my Mum.)

I want to at least take my DCs to dip their toes into the world and what life has to offer, so that they are aware of the possibilities, before they go off into the world.

I was clueless.

BabyStone Thu 18-Jul-13 10:04:10

A stable family, not being moved from pillar to post

Or both parents around (my mum wasn't always around or reliable and DP grew up without a dad)

A sibling. I have twins, they have a bond I'll never really know.

Also a fun teenage years - I think my parents were good at the childhood bit - although it was maybe a bit too adult-centric for an only child - and lots of roaming free outdoors, craft stuff etc, but once I got to teenage years my home life just didn't fulfil my needs at all, my parents didn't really try, I spent a huge amount of time at other friends' houses. I want this home to be the place my children can invite friends to, and I want friendships and social skills and FUN to be as much of a part of their teenage years as academic pressure and exams. Because I think I went to uni brainy, well educated, but meek and unconfident, and that certainly didn't help me in the long run.

I suppose the thing I did have which I fear they won't have is a really good education though.

pingulingo Thu 18-Jul-13 10:08:55

A perm and a shell suit.

Well probably not, but I was most upset when my mum wouldn't let me become a fizzy fire hazard. I've not yet decided whether to save my DC from inevitable fashion mistakes in the future or just be ready with the camera!

FCEK Thu 18-Jul-13 10:10:02

Friends hmm

I moved aged 9 and went from having lots of friends to having none and that was the case pretty much for the rest of my childhood.

Fortunately dd aged 5 is popular and I hope that never changes. We are moving but I am adamant we will stay within her school catchment area so she stays there with her friends. Dh understands why.

Another vote for Mr Frosty here too blush

Woodhead Thu 18-Jul-13 10:12:45

A spacehopper and a lightsaber

burberryqueen Thu 18-Jul-13 10:13:49

Mousetrap and a pony grin
a brother who didn't punch my face and mock my accent
a dad who didn't leave....

TeWiSavesTheDay Thu 18-Jul-13 10:16:57

I want them to feel safe and wanted/valued for themselves. Not sure how to phrase that feeling. Secure?

Tree house would be cool too.

I just asked 3yo DD what she wants most in all the world, "a kiss" smile
Think I can manage that.

I want to make sure my children know they are loved, give loads of cuddles , read them stories, listen to them

ChunkyPickle Thu 18-Jul-13 10:40:07

Being able to sometimes have exactly what you want.

Both DP and I were pretty poor as kids, and our childhoods were full of really, really wanting something that other kids had, and having to make do, months later with some market-bought knock-off which didn't really work or look the same.

I don't want to spoil him, but being able to occasionally buy something he truly desires would be nice

NobodyPutsTomArcherInTheCorner Thu 18-Jul-13 10:46:26

Being supportive/interested in their potential and dreams.

I don't ever want them to experience the awful atmospheres/silences at home with things never said that I grew up with.

Xiaoxiong Thu 18-Jul-13 10:50:15

Praise and recognition of real achievement and effort - not a constant process of the bar being set higher and higher each time they jump.

"you must get an A in this test"
<studies hard, gets A>
"what, no A+??"

DuelingFanjo Thu 18-Jul-13 10:52:23

I don't think there's anything I didn't have, nothing important.

um... we were poor, I would like it if my son didn't feel like he couldn't ask to contribute to the end of term class present (if kids still do that?) - I don't want him to feel like he can't ask for money for a school trip, or indeed that he can actually go on the school trips.

that's about it. I had a happy childhood but we were poor.

Molinko Thu 18-Jul-13 10:52:26

One of those enormous Barbie Houses.

MyDaydream Thu 18-Jul-13 10:55:25

Rollerblades, all my friends had them and I wasn't allowed. I asked every Christmas and birthday for years.

titchy Thu 18-Jul-13 10:58:31

Two parents
To not feel guilty or responsible for their parent
To see some of the world
To get the actual proper brand of toy/clothes/whatever, not the cheap version

curlyclaz13 Thu 18-Jul-13 11:09:39

Another one for mr frosty ( how good was their advertising !?)

my childhood was good but parents had very little money so I would like my dc to have opportunities to do after school activities and a proper holiday. they mattered at the time but I doubt I am a worse person for missing out.

titzup Thu 18-Jul-13 11:12:37

A dad. A pony. The feeling that she can do anything if she puts her mind to it.

titzup Thu 18-Jul-13 11:14:13

oh yeah, worst part of family life for me was having a procession of other families to try and gel with when parents got with other parents etc. I think even if me and DH divorce, I wil NEVER try to jam two families together.

Angelico Thu 18-Jul-13 11:34:56

I had a Mr Frosty and he was crap. I waited and begged and pleaded and got one for my birthday. Oh the let down! Oh the power of advertising grin

I did long for Playdough though and wasn't allowed it because it was too messy. Also those playmobile people. So DD will have those grin She will also be allowed to jump in puddles and paddle whenever she wants and if she gets cold / wet / needs a change of clothes I'm sure she'll survive hmm

SanityClause Thu 18-Jul-13 12:11:20

The knowledge that a girl can do anything she wants, and that they don't have to choose between a family and a career (for my girls, obv).

We were poor, so I missed out on lots of material things that my DC have, but that is the thing I wish I'd had, that I didn't. My parents believed strongly in gender roles. To them, it was wrong for a woman to want to work.

Ask DH the same question, and I think he'd say to feel loved and protected. sad

newmumsuchfun Thu 18-Jul-13 12:14:16

A brother or a Sister
Not everything they want but moderation so that they understand the value of things and appreciate what they do have more.

A red and yellow car that you push with your feet. I thought they were the bees knees!grin

Chubfuddler Thu 18-Jul-13 12:20:52

I had a mr frosty and it was pretty rubbish.

As like my parents my husband and I have separated (much to my distress - divorced parents are the last thing I would ever have wanted for my children) I will say an amicable divorce. So far so good.

Dollybird99 Thu 18-Jul-13 12:32:26

a fridge full of food.

A hug, kiss, support, no conditions and my time.

CalamityJones Thu 18-Jul-13 12:40:46

Financial stability. My parents ricocheted from being really very well off to being bankrupt several times throughout my childhood and it was really bloody hard - they were an absolute nightmare at hanging onto money when they had it so threw huge parties and took ridiculous holidays and then the business would go downhill and we'd suddenly have no electricity and seeing the house being repossessed. My husband thinks I'm a bit of a tyrant when it comes to money (I'm honestly not, he's just a spendthrift) but there is no way on god's earth that I will ever let my daughter worry about if there's going to be enough money to buy food for the week.

littleginger Thu 18-Jul-13 12:40:59

My parents were always very strict with times i had to be home at. I also had little confidence. In the end i would pretend i was busy instead of going out with friends because i was too embarrassed about going home so early.

With hindsight i actually think they got it right. I just hung around with kids whose parents let them stay out stupidly late (11pm when 13 andfree to roam the city - no boundaries at all)

So actually i dont know whether id do anything different there! Maybe force dd and friends to all stay over so ican keep an eye on them! grin

ratbagcatbag Thu 18-Jul-13 13:30:44

Chub. My DH and his ex get on better now then they've ever done, she's my best friend, and her and her DH are appointed guardians for mine and Dh's dd. grin did you follow that?

My stepson is well balanced, has never been pulled from pillar to post and at nearly 15 is so laid back with life it's daft aside from hormonal teenage strops it can be done and when it works it really is awesome. smile he was 4 when they split.

Chubfuddler Thu 18-Jul-13 13:33:52

That's good to hear ratbag. And yes I did follow that! Keep all the children together in event of calamity, very sensible.

bornagaindomesticgoddess Thu 18-Jul-13 13:38:22

For DS: A Chopper bike.
For DD: A Tressy doll.

Quenelle Thu 18-Jul-13 13:41:34

A mother who wasn't distracted by a years-long affair with a physically and emotional abusive cunt.

Shouldn't be too difficult to achieve.

SignoraStronza Thu 18-Jul-13 13:51:32

Long hair! My mother forced me to have my curly hair cut short because she couldn't be arsed to help me do anything with it until I finally rebelled at 14. I constantly got mistaken for a boy. DC1's hair is down to her bum and when left with Grandma it looks like a birds nest!

Levi jeans and DM boots. grin

A house within walking distance of something and not in the middle of nowhere - thankfully we're in a well served village and regularly have the neighbours' children come knocking.

SignoraStronza Thu 18-Jul-13 13:54:17

Oh, and a motorbike! DH is a biker, as is his family so hoping it won't be too much of a problem. I was desperate for a 50cc after my 16th so I could get around, but not allowed.

quail Thu 18-Jul-13 13:58:40

When I was about 7 I begged and begged for a Mr Frosty and got one for Christmas. I was very allergic to the orange fruit sauce and spent Christmas day with a face like a duvet.

JennyWren Thu 18-Jul-13 14:28:22

To not have to be so conscious of money as I was. Sure, I want then to be aware of the value of things, but I don't want them to always feel that there is never enough money for a treat. My DDad was made redundant a couple of times when I was in my early teens and at one point moved to live with my grandparents to get a job, and we only saw him every month or so. It left me too aware of money, I think, and the need to not waste it. We were never desperately poor but it was hard going not to lose our home back then. It has left me with a legacy of automatically saying no when DC ask me for something, without even stoping to really consider it, and I have to make myself stop - sometimes, at least! The dad thing for me is that a couple of weeks ago DD was excitedly telling me about something, then she visibly stopped and reassured me that she knew she couldn't have it because it was a lot of money sad.

NotAnotherPackedLunch Thu 18-Jul-13 14:36:26

NobodyPutsTomArcherInTheCorner are you my big sister?

MaeMobley Thu 18-Jul-13 14:38:28

Straight teeth.

BigDomsWife Thu 18-Jul-13 14:47:27

A loving Mother. . . forever and ever x

HerrenaHarridan Thu 18-Jul-13 14:53:32

I want her burgeoning sexuality to develop at its own natural pace and her first sexual encounters to be enjoyable and consensual.

I want her to be fit and have body confidence.

I want her be proficient in a form of self defense

Beeblebear Thu 18-Jul-13 14:55:20

I am loving all of the very honest answers here! I think it really shows that we can all come from different experiences and backgrounds and all come together in the same place. Your answers have made me rethink my own.

Originally my thought was a sibling closer in age, as my brother was 8 years older than me and I often felt like an only child and probably could have used some guidance in my teenage years.

But upon giving it some more thought, I would like my son to be more AWARE in general. I lived a pretty sheltered life, never exposed to culture or taught life lessons about poverty and riches, or about broken families, or what not to do as a teenager, or who to look out for. I was told what to do or what not to do rather than being given street smarts and because of it I got into a LOT of trouble in my late teens. I didn't appreciate what I had.

Now I only have to figure out how to do that with my son. I think the first step is open communication.

And... I have never heard of a Mr. Frosty blush .

LilacPeony Thu 18-Jul-13 22:10:22

Similar reply to TwllBach on the first page as i had similar parents by the sound of it!

its not so much what i didn't have but what I did have and want for my own children.

I want them to feel as proud of me as I do of my mum. She has undiagnosed mental health issues and could/still can be a bit erratic at times, but she went from being a barmaid with 3 children under 5 to top of her field in a very specialist subject during 'the teenage years' of our childhood when she completely self funded two masters degrees working part time.

It was hard awful for everyone and TBH I didn't have a traditional childhood/teenagehood as a result BUT i am the person I am today because of that.

I don't know how I can do that though, because my mum made sure that I wasn't ever going to have the same hardships she did. I'm just going to be an ordinary mum with nothing very special to be proud of.

louisianablue2000 Thu 18-Jul-13 22:59:50

DH says 'more lego'. I'm in the Mousetrap set, my terrible parents only gave us educational games.

janey77 Thu 18-Jul-13 23:55:44

To be allowed to do creative stuff like painting without worrying about the mess smile

holidaybug Thu 18-Jul-13 23:58:26

A bedroom of his own. Easy to organise as he is an only child.

tittytittyhanghang Fri 19-Jul-13 00:03:41

Im plumping for mr frostys too, that was the first thing i thought of. Although i guess the up to date version is that cup you stick in the freezer.

dashoflime Fri 19-Jul-13 00:17:55

Another one here for the actual, branded version of things. Also to feel able to ask for things he wants. I always knew to pretend not to want anything, to spare my parents feelings.
Both me and my sister remember walking around in clothes too small for us because our folks either hadn't noticed or couldn't afford to replace. Still unsure which as they were bith oblivious and skint. And, of course, we said nothing

hellhasnofurylikeahungrywoman Fri 19-Jul-13 00:22:12

Unconditional love which my two very definitely have got.

holidaybug Fri 19-Jul-13 00:26:08

Oh and a view of the wider world and affection from both parents.

marriedinwhiteagain Fri 19-Jul-13 00:31:05

dashoflime our dc aren't that bothered by actual branded things: dd detests Hollister and Jack Wills and her favourite shoes are from Shoezone. I bought her a Top shop dress (sale) and an H&M tshirt at the weekend and she was over the moon and kept saying how guilty she felt because she'd had so much. And FWIW we have high six figures coming in so I really don't get the branded/non branded deprived argument. Not meant as a stealth boast btw - but we don't get the branded argument so maybe our dc have just never picked it up. DS rolls his eyes at some of his friends who have endless v. expensive stuff and will argue v strongly against materialism.

DelayedActionMouseMaker Fri 19-Jul-13 00:34:37

Parents who had the emotional maturity and capability to work things out and stay together, or not to bring EA people into their childs life subsequent to their break up. (or the sense not to have married and had kids in the first place.)

DelayedActionMouseMaker Fri 19-Jul-13 00:35:50

And a sibling, which luckily mine have!

Whitamakafullo Fri 19-Jul-13 00:39:25

Mine was a brother or sister,

I have two DC so have fulfilled that one for them!

NatashaBee Fri 19-Jul-13 00:41:51

Not to be burdened with money worries. I still remember my dad crying while writing out cheques for the household bills. I don't want them to grow up unaware of what things cost, but I don't want them to feel like they have to hide letters about school trips like I did.

dashoflime Fri 19-Jul-13 00:51:37

Marriedinwhite It was about accessing the mainstream and being the same as other people. It wasn't about status labels even
I remember coveting branded spagetti hoops and feeling so frustrated they would always be out of my reach. I think just having something that I recognised from wealthier peoples homes would have made me feel more normal and better about myself.

Unconditional "I love you"s and cuddles. Both of which are in abundance in our home, and I hope it continues through to adulthood. (That would be adulthood for my DCs as opposed to me, who is evidently already an adult)

I've never heard of Mr Frosty?!

Wuldric Fri 19-Jul-13 01:00:27

Ditto - mine was a sibling. However, I did want a brother, more specifically. So DD is sorted. DS? He probably would want a brother too, so I do feel I let him down somewhat ...

swannylovesu Fri 19-Jul-13 01:48:29

yeah, i asked for a Mr Frosty for years. Don't know what my parents had against it.

I want my kids to have loads of family time. although i always felt loved, my parents worked so hard that i cant remember spending a great deal of quality time with them or my brothers...

ArabellaBeaumaris Fri 19-Jul-13 06:17:59

dashoflime yes to accessing the mainstream. We didn't have the right clothes or cultural references & it made it hard. Nothing about us was normal.

When my brother saved up for a Nike jersey my parents were very disappointed in his materialistic consumer ways.

ArabellaBeaumaris Fri 19-Jul-13 06:21:31

That reminds me of another one - I want my daughters to have a mum who takes them shopping. My mum hates shopping & has no interest in clothes so from the age of 12 I was given £50 a month & left to get on with it.

sleepywombat Fri 19-Jul-13 06:29:45

Am I allowed to say an a la carte kitchen - or does it have to be non-material (as others have probably covered it = dad, siblings, no mental problems, self confidence)?

Chubfuddler Fri 19-Jul-13 08:38:16

Absolutely you can say an a la carte kitchen. Always fancied one myself. There are many people still feeling the deprivation of never having a mr frosty.

minipie Fri 19-Jul-13 09:02:13

Social skills!

I had a very loving and materially comfortable childhood so would love to recreate that for my DC, but I was very socially naive, always doing things that other kids laughed at or found annoying. I'm not sure how to help my DC on this front though?

burberryqueen Fri 19-Jul-13 09:05:57

please could someone explain to me what a 'Mr Frosty' is?

Chubfuddler Fri 19-Jul-13 09:23:58
Chubfuddler Fri 19-Jul-13 09:24:59

The ice lolly moulds worked fine but the crunchy ice make your own slush puppy snowman himself was a bit pants. Every child wanted one in about 1982.

filee777 Fri 19-Jul-13 09:29:27

To grow up feeling safe and that they are allowed to speak to me, however long I have spent at the office

Helovesmehelovesmenot Fri 19-Jul-13 09:30:10

Attention. This is a sad thread isnt it but on a happier note I got my kids a Soda Stream and they thought it was crap, I would have LOVED one of those. Kids can be so ungrateful!

burberryqueen Fri 19-Jul-13 09:30:19

oooh I want one now!!!

Chubfuddler Fri 19-Jul-13 09:35:36

Ingrates. We loved our soda stream. You could taste the gas in the water (am sure this will soon be revealed as carcinogenic).

ratbagcatbag Fri 19-Jul-13 09:39:54

I always wanted mr frosty too, and a kitchen, and a post office that folded up. Never got any. (In addition to the good childhood I mentioned on page 1)

I don't think it's sad, I think it makes people want to do more for there kids. Me and DH have gone into a work share scheme that pays out in five years. My dd is now 18 weeks, when it pays out we will be going on a once in a lifetime five day trip to find Santa in lap land.

Ill take her shopping and always listen to what she wants (she may not always get it, but ill listen and explain why) ill be proud even if she doesn't get top academic marks.

Ill tell her to reach for the stars as she can do anything that she wants.

Ill hug her lots and tell her everyday I love her.

tumbletumble Fri 19-Jul-13 09:40:09

A garden. I grew up in London with no garden.

aliphil Fri 19-Jul-13 12:29:03

There were certain toys that I wasn't allowed to have because "they were for boys" - a train set, a scooter and a skateboard spring to mind. There was a general feeling around that boys were more important than girls, which in my family came out as my brother having new things bought for him while most of mine were secondhand. DD is very unlikely to have a brother, and a lot of her things are and will continue to be secondhand, but I intend to bring her up knowing that she matters as much as any boy, and that she can play with what are traditionally boys' or girls' toys or both if she likes.

I would also like her to feel that she doesn't have to hide her real feelings from me all the time.

Fraxinus Fri 19-Jul-13 13:47:20

To feel good in their clothes

I had so few clothes, and my mum used to save up to buy something for us, and I often hated it but there was no choice.

There are so many clothes around now, though that I'm sure my dc will learn better dress sense than I have.

I only like jeans and jumper. In this weather I can cope with a simple dress. But I only feel good in a very limited set of clothes

Fraxinus Fri 19-Jul-13 13:47:53

Actually scratch that. I hope they never get a migraine or suffer from constant headaches.

rrreow Fri 19-Jul-13 15:26:57

More of my mum's attention. A father(figure). A sibling. More attention paid to my feelings.

rrreow Fri 19-Jul-13 15:27:27

Oh wait that wasn't one thing! Still those are the important ones for me.

I just laughed out loud at 'Mr Frosty'. I always wanted one of them.

High self-esteem from the start.
Vintage Fisher Price garage.

So far, so good. smile

MrsRachelLynde Sat 20-Jul-13 16:39:05

Normal clothes and school gear so they fit in. I always had cheaper market versions of things and they were never quite "right" so I felt very self conscious. Like not having a proper, nice lunchbox like everyone else - I had an empty margarine tub sad

My mum said it didn't matter but it did.

I won't force my dd to wear a different style of school skirt to everyone else either. I had to wear a pleated skirt that came to the widest part of my calves so of course I hated it but couldn't have what everyone else had, "not with your legs". To this day I don't wear skirts.

marriedinwhiteagain Sat 20-Jul-13 17:23:08

With material things I think things sort of work in reverse though. Materially I had everything and made my dad drop me round the corner in the Jag because it was embarassing. My BF had fsm and was so ashamed I used to give her my dinner money and take her ticket. In those days, yep it was a special ticket that you handed in daily.

DD has a friend whose mum teaches but was left on her uppers by a bastard useless husband who underwrote their home and went bankrupt then left her and for a while they were in BnB. The girls are 15 now and in good social housing bit mum can only get 3.5 days a week but the dd is forever bemoaning her lack of named stuff and making her mum feel uber guilty. DD can have what she wants and is happy with a pair of pumps from Shoezone and worries constantly about the cost of whatever I buy for her.

Notmyidea Sat 20-Jul-13 18:53:36

Siblings close enough in age that they can experience life as peers. (I have a sister who is old enough to be my mother.)

I dearly hope, and have done my best to ensure, that they never end up as young carers.

To be sure that I'll be honest with them, and do my best for them.

Fraxinus Sun 21-Jul-13 13:53:22

Georgian mum of 5 I'm with you. High self esteem.

No arrogance, but self esteem.

Any ideas?

tumbletumble Sun 21-Jul-13 16:12:06

Fraxinus, I have high self esteem without (I hope and believe) being arrogant. My parents praised me often, but are very modest themselves so I was never encouraged to show off.

Fraxinus Sun 21-Jul-13 19:39:31

Tumble tumble.... They managed a delicate balancing act successfully then! It's hard to get it right, but I like the idea that being modest is key to building self esteem without arrogance.

HorseyGirl1 Mon 22-Jul-13 13:09:48

A car that doesn't break down.
And roller boots!

lljkk Mon 22-Jul-13 13:18:58

Feeling normal. Decent self-esteem. 7/10, so could do better.

MannUp Mon 22-Jul-13 14:01:43

A Playdoh Mop Top Hairshop. And a Mr Frosty. And Crossfire!

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