Newborns, Bfing, Toddlers and Tantrums

(259 Posts)
SayCoolNowSayWhip Mon 01-Apr-13 11:36:40

A carry on from the Pregnant and Overdue - 37/38 weeks thread in Pregnancy.

For those of us who have finally met our bundles of joy!

Come here to share birth stories, newborn issues, feeding, tips on how to deal with toddler siblings, or just general gripes and chit chat.

DS was born on Saturday and just sleeps and eats. I have a 2.5 yo DD who is being a bit of a monkey (understandably) with the new addition.

DS looks like he has a posterior tongue tie which is making latching incredibly painful. Have sent DH out for nipple shields - anyone used these?

DeathMetalMum Mon 01-Apr-13 11:45:34

Oh, congratulations SayCool! and anyone else of the thread I have missed, I kind of got lost on the original thread got a little busy with breastfeeding and the toddler! grin

Read this thread title and thought I have plenty of toddler tantrums to add! Dd2 is nearly 3 weeks dd1 seems to have settled a little now.

Not used nipple shields sorry. I had creacked nipples for around a week this time but cleared up with some lanishol(sp sorry) and putting breast milk on my nipples.

Dirtymistress Mon 01-Apr-13 11:49:29

Hey ladies. No breast feeding here (not physically possible for me) but lots of tantrums from ds1! Think he is struggling with having to share me. Can we post when we had them/how much they weighed etc? Dirtybaby was 10/03/13. 7.7lb. Sneeze birth. Dirtytoddler is 17 months. smile

DeathMetalMum Mon 01-Apr-13 11:59:24

Okay - Dc2 was 13/03/13 8.13lb sneeze birth compared to dc1 but dificulties with placenta. Dc1 is 2.1.

Dirtymistress Mon 01-Apr-13 12:47:40

Have you had much help deathmetal? It's just me and dp, no family anywhere near. He is as work today. Have managed to get out to park for a play with baby in sling which was fine until toddler had mega strop and I had to carry him home under one arm whilst he kicked his legs and tried to batter his brother about the head. Wonder if it will get easier, or if he will stop being so cross...

DeathMetalMum Mon 01-Apr-13 13:14:38

I have been quite lucky really dp took 3 weeks off for paternity leave (well one week annual leave) and we have had a lot of family around, lots of cousins as well to keep dd occupied, been to softplay also. I have also managed to get out to a group for dd1. Dd2 pretty much just sleeps and feeds at the moment which is making things easier.

I have found dd1 is hell worse when she is tired so I am trying to do activities like pladough, baking, painting that keep her occupied but don't wear her out too much.

Do you have a double pushchair? I don't think I would manage without it so far even for short journeys. Knowing I can just strap dd1 in is great. Also means getting out doesn't cause her to be too tired.

SayCoolNowSayWhip Mon 01-Apr-13 13:29:29

DC2 was 30/03/13 - 6lb 13oz. Way more painful and longer labour but out in 3 pushes! Much better recovery as well.

Wow good on you Dirtymistress getting out of the house on your own. I am very very lucky in that DH has 2 weeks paternity leave and 2 weeks holiday, plus we have parents nearby. Spoilt really! Happy to share family, Dirty! you can have my mum...

Szeli Mon 01-Apr-13 14:06:07

Hey girlies. Finally ventured back on here after a week.

Baby B was (eventually) born 22.58 25/03/13 9lb7 47 hours after my waters went.

Had 4 bags of induction fluid; kept being told "2 more hours and if he's not born we'll have to take you to theatre" for around 10 hours - which made pain management pretty tricky.

I had 5 lots of diamorphine and 2 epidurals (they took 4 attempts at each and massacred my back).

Felt like a sideshow at the circus with 10s of male students stomping in with no notice giggling with their clipboards saying "we've never known a labour progress like this before" whilst I'm stood there practically naked, off my face, shaking and peeing myself because no one would let me get to the bathroom.

Taken for an emergency c section around 9pm then taken out of theatre because someone else needed the surgeons more and shoved in a side room whilst my epidural wore off (they did offer me more gas and air which wasn't really having much effect by then).

The surgical team then got baby b out in 5 minutes; (after the other half had apparently walked into the wrong side of theatre and seen half if me on the floor) and it took just over an hour and a half to stitch me up whilst my blood pressure dropped right down, I went black and ended up on oxygen.

Got to recovery, then my room, numb from the boobies down on my own unable to do anything for my son, having to buzz and hope someone arrives everytime you/he needs something made me feel pretty worthless as a mother.

They then moved me onto a ward the next day against all the advice if the mental health team which resulted in me having panic attacks so they moved me back, then had another 3 days in hospital with the most inconsistent care; frustrated I couldn't lift my son up, then got home Thursday night.

Now I'm home I find myself crying a lot, he likes his daddy far more than me but probably because his daddy can cuddle him more. Some of my stitches came out Saturday which I thought would help but then I got engorgment due to me having to now bottle feed due to Nottingham being able to hold B man long enough to establish breast feeding.

Sorry for the lengthy post; the birth and aftermath were fairy traumatic; I did go in with an open mind but I could never imagine half the stuff ever happening; I think I'm most upset about the lack of dignity and the lack of bonding.

Hopefully things will buck up soon; was just hoping for a straightforward birth as I was high risk anyway due to manic depression; least I've got a mental health team around me. Shame tho that I'd like my mum to visit ATM but it stresses my OH out as he feels pushed out. I just want to be pain freeeeeee and then me and baby b can do stuff; I actually think less than 1% of the last week or so has gone to plan!

I'm such a whinger, sorry guys :/ I do have a beautiful little boy to show for it xxxx

Szeli Mon 01-Apr-13 14:08:50

I hope that makes sense with the 'interesting' autocorrect substitutions x

LuckyOwl28 Mon 01-Apr-13 14:09:48

Congratulations to you all! Hopefully I'll be joining you on here with my story soon!

39 weeks today!

SayCoolNowSayWhip Mon 01-Apr-13 16:12:48

Oh Szeli sad That really sounds very traumatic for you, I'm so sorry you had to go through it. I hope getting it all down was helpful, and helped you to think through it and work through it.

It sounds like you didn't have much midwifery support? Just a parade of unhelpful students and crappy doctors. I have read that sometimes you can request to go through your labour notes with a midwife and they can explain each stage and why certain things happened or didn't happen. Do you think that would help you? It really sounds like they didn't know what they were doing.

Please try not to feel bad - your new little man loves you more than anything. You're his mummy and as long as you're close to him that's all he cares about. Try not to stress too much about bfing as well - it sounds like you're putting a lot of pressure on yourself. There is no right or wrong way, and no one here is going to judge you on whatever you do.

Sending you big in-MNy hugs thanks

Dirtymistress Mon 01-Apr-13 16:23:58

Urgh szeli. That all sounds utterly horrific, you poor thing. Try to be nice to yourself, your baby doesn't prefer anyone to yousmile you have had a rough time of it and women's emotions are all over the place after giving birth. X

Szeli Mon 01-Apr-13 16:42:54

Cheers ladies; I just feel like I utterly suck at being a mum and if my body had worked like it was supposed to we wouldn't be in this mess but hey ho.

Some of the midwives were fabulous, some needed launching out of a window - I think a couple were genuinely scared of me. If I could pick my midwives in a future pregnancy I reckon I'd be ok but that wouldn't happen! I did feel sorry for them too as during the birth they seemed so confused by the situation afterwards tho the night team were brill but the majority of the day team were nigh in useless. Doctors kept saying I needed meds strictly at 4 hourly intervals and instead I was usually buzzing 2 or 3 times well after the 4 hour mark to get anything. Pretty disappointed. It was a bit 'too many cooks' really.


Szeli Mon 01-Apr-13 16:46:03

saycool don't know about labour notes. May have a word with my doc and see about it. Perhaps it would help.

One of the community midwives suggested I put in a complaint about the army of student observations when I couldn't even speak to consent

TheCountessOlenska Mon 01-Apr-13 17:02:32

Hello ladies - I wasn't on your original thread sorry . . .but had DC2 three weeks ago today (blimey that's gone quick!) and have a 3 year old who has been quite um challenging so this thread title caught my eye smile

Breastfeeding this one has been HARD WORK with DD1 wanting me to do something for her every minute (I know it's because she's feeling insecure poor thing but still driving me mad) - DS cluster feeding like a demon!

Congratulations to all new arrivals!

Szeli God you poor thing, that sounds grim - hope you've got lots of support around you. Ask for help if struggling, don't try and be a hero, newborns v v hard especially if you've had a hard time with the birth. I sneezed this one out and I've still cried every day for 2 weeks!!

SayCoolNowSayWhip Mon 01-Apr-13 17:10:23

Hi Countess, I've 'seen you around' grin Welcome!

Congrats on your new DC. Yes, bfing is just not as fun as they make it out to be. My nipples are excruciating when the baby first latches on. However my milk had come in today and that has made it a bit easier - he's not having to suck quite so hard.

So how's your 3 yo dealing with the new arrival? We're trying to keep DD as involved as we can, and trying to keep both needs a high priority. But it's only day 2.....

Szeli a complaint might be worth it if you feel strong enough. Especially about all the students etc traipsing in and out - I think I would have killed one of them! Hope you're getting some good after care at least - take all the help you can get!

TheCountessOlenska Mon 01-Apr-13 17:37:27

Hi SayCool, seen you around too smile

Yeah my nipples were a mess for first week at least - was gutted as assumed it would be easy this time around! - had latch looked at, all fine, just had to make really sure he was on right, and if it hurt at all take him off and try again to ensure latch correct. Not used nipple shields but my friend has just done very successfully and not needing to use at all now (3 months in)

3 year old has been up and down. Actually settled down a bit since DH gone back to work and we're more back in our usual routine. She's been very sweet with the baby but very demanding of me, very clingy. Bless her, it is hard for them!

Congrats on your new DS - same as me, girl then boy grin

SayCoolNowSayWhip Mon 01-Apr-13 20:26:38

So what are our thoughts on waking to feed?

DS was asleep and I've just roused him for a feed, but wondering if I should have let him sleep..... If he was a bit older I definitely would but at 2 days old I'm just not sure. He was also looking a bit jaundiced earlier and I read that that can make you sleepy. Any ideas? I really want to be led by him and not be strict about routine but also want to make sure he's feeding enough....

Szeli Mon 01-Apr-13 21:10:08

B is a bit jaundiced and the midwife suggested we rouse him for 3 hourly feeds but I'm not keen and the longer he sleeps the more he eats after so for me I feel cruel waking him when he's snug ATM xx

SayCoolNowSayWhip Mon 01-Apr-13 21:19:06

Yeah that's kind of my thinking too Szeli.... Next time I'll let him sleep and see what happens.

rrreow Mon 01-Apr-13 22:03:55

SayCoolNowSayWhip not from the other thread but re nipple shields: they saved my sanity with DS1. He had a posterior tongue tie and despite getting heavy frowns from midwives/bf counselors/practice nurse I decided to get some. They allowed me to feed him properly (it took longer than without but that was a small tradeoff for actual pain-free feeding!). We got his tongue tie snipped about 1.5 weeks after the birth (iirc) but it still didn't fix the problem for me. I would do one feed a day without shields just to keep him able to latch on to the nipple without shields. I used them until 6 months at which point I think DS latch improved purely due to his mouth being bigger. Breastfed from 6-14mo without shields without problems. The shields didn't interfere with him developing a proper latch once he was able to, and they also didn't interfere with his weight gain. YMMV but it's worth a try if it's too painful otherwise.

SayCoolNowSayWhip Mon 01-Apr-13 22:42:50

Rreow thanks, that's really helpful smile

Dirtymistress Tue 02-Apr-13 00:50:57

I'm not waking E up to feed, I thought about it but he wakes up frequently enough as it isgrinhe had already put on a pound when health visitor weighed him last week. The only time I wake him is to have a bath with his brother.

Radiator1234 Tue 02-Apr-13 01:45:23

Hi ladies! Whip what a great idea this thread is.

Sounds like people are generally doing well!

Szeli gosh you poor thing the whole experience sounds awful sad So sorry to hear that. Keep getting as much support as you can.

Yuk just got puked on while writing this resulting in clothes change for both baby and me. Back to sleep now more later....

Radiator1234 Tue 02-Apr-13 06:19:08

Back again.

Sleep patterns at night look like they could be shifting to 4 hour chunks instead of 3. Am hopeful but too early to declare victory yet ( and of course while 4 is good, 5 is better, and 6 is better than 5 and so on!).

So just a quick recap about me/ baby as requested above:
DD2 born 11/3/13 (so 3 wks old), 8lb 13 (Same as DeathMetal baby!), birth ok, I also have a 2.10 year old DD1 - she will be 3 at the end of May.

Parenting style wise I'm a chilled out mummy, who is v keen to have a full nights sleep so favour vague routines rather than baby led (although I am by no mesns a Gina Ford or Baby Whisperer die hard! ).

So....Breastfeeding going ok I am just not convinced we always get the latch right. Don't think she opens her mouth wide enough. Despite that, she is putting on weight so we must be doing something right. The sore nipples have passed now (first week was awful!)! But unfortunately I have mastitis so have some antibs for that. Might try going to a Breastfeeding group today see if they can give me any hot tips re. the latch. not hopeful .

Toddler wise....broadly speaking DD1 is coping well with the new addition and loves to cuddle DD2 ( aah!). She strokes her head when she cries and says "don't worry baby"), hasn't tried to batter DD2 yet...however she has had her moments: crying when the baby cries, wanting cuddles with me when I am feeding, voluntarily putting herself in "Time out" when OH and I are dealing with the baby, telling us to go away etc...

What else... I feel exhausted and sleep deprived. Maybe as I get woken every day at around 7 am by a 2 year old 2mm from my face asking if she can watch Mr Tumble, regardless of the nights sleep I have had!!

Radiator1234 Tue 02-Apr-13 06:28:15

Re. Waking to feed....I tried to do it in the first few days during the day but struggled to wake her. Even employed a damp cloth on her face a few times if she fell asleep during a feed (how mean am I?!). Keen to tank up baby as much as poss during the day to try get more sleep at night. Generally though I respect the never wake a sleeping baby mantra. I never wake to feed at night.

SayCoolNowSayWhip Tue 02-Apr-13 08:16:52

Thanks Radiator, that all sounds like me smile Nope, would definitely never wake a baby at night!

Second night at home was ok - DS and I are co sleeping which I could never do with DD and it's really working with getting sleep.

Definitely think he's a bit jaundiced so going to see if our MLU can see him today.

SayCoolNowSayWhip Tue 02-Apr-13 08:24:30

I know what you mean about the latch. DS does not seem to open his mouth wide enough. Plus my boobs and areolas are massive - literally twice the size of his head! I'm seriously engorged already and my nipples are just excruciating sad

But judging from his nappies he's definitely getting some!

Dirtymistress Tue 02-Apr-13 08:26:52

Everybody slept in our house! Toddler (N) did 11 hours, bubs (E) just woke twice! Needed it after hellish two nights prior to thatgrin

DeathMetalMum Tue 02-Apr-13 08:32:53

Morning ladies, glad you had a good night SayCool how was everyone elses night? I second not waking during the night though I don't really let dd go more than 4 hours during the day.

Dd was a little jaundice but it dissapeared after a week (we also had it with dd1 slightly worse.) My mw last time suggested daylight and feeding lots as the best way to flush out the jaundice. We had the moses basket next to the window though not in direct sunlight. Seemed to work.

Whereisthesnow Tue 02-Apr-13 08:33:44

Hello I was lurking on the original thread, can I join? I have ds1 who is 3. Ds2 arrived on 25th march, had a successful vbac with just gas and air. He was 10lb!
Bit of a challenge this two child malarkey isn't it? Dh is still off on pat leave at the mo. think ds1 is really craving attention so doing silly stuff like throwing toys at ds2... Will get there in the end!

SayCoolNowSayWhip Tue 02-Apr-13 10:00:47

Hi Whereisthesnow. Wow, 10lb! Ouch! grin
Yes, the 2-child thing is definitely challenging. At the moment DH is on DD and I'm on DS as obviously DH can't feed. It's going to be tricky once DH is back at work!

Dirtymistress that's great that you had such a good night - hope it continues!

Szeli Tue 02-Apr-13 10:42:25

We slept too; did resort to using a dummy a couple of times (really disappointed in myself) but sleep was required.

So not jealous of those with the tots and newborns, brave ladies! I'm sure itl get easier tho smile


TheCountessOlenska Tue 02-Apr-13 12:22:40

Hello everyone, Radiator our new babies share a birthday! DS born 11/03/13, weighed 7,10. Smaller than DD which was a surprise! DD is 2.11 - 3 at end of this month.

DD has always been horrendous sleeper - still gets in our bed every night, I'm also co-sleeping with the babe (although hoping DS will get used to his basket!) so there are sometimes 4 in our bed atm shock Fortunately DH works away a few nights a week so there's more room in the bed on those nights grin So new baby up for a feed every 2 hours and DD kicking me in the back most of the night . . .shattered!

Whereisthesnow Tue 02-Apr-13 12:28:18

Szeli nothing wrong with dummy - whatever it takes. We have been topping up with formula already - did mixed feeding with ds1 and it worked well. You have to look after your own sanity !

RubyrooUK Tue 02-Apr-13 14:37:43

Hello. Can I join? <very weary wave>

I have DS1, who is 2.7 years old. And DS2, who was born on 13.03.13.

Sorry to hear about your crappy birth Szeli. I had a terribly traumatic birth with DS1 (red lights flashing, emergency, overdose of my drugs by midwife and so on...). DS2 was therefore a c section, which was much more sedate but I've had a hard time recovering. It is particularly hard wrangling a toddler who you can't pick up but who doesn't understand that.

DS1 ignored me and the baby for a few days telling everyone that "mummy isn't here anymore" when I was RIGHT THERE. But now he seems to like the baby - he asks me to pick him up and cuddle him, he says "don't worry baby, it's ok" a lot and so on. He wants to show the baby his toys and TV. So I think it's getting better.

Although he has been having some almighty wobblers too. Hard to tell if it's related or just his age. grin

DS2 is pretty chilled. DS1 screamed from the day he was born and first started napping at 12 weeks. He breastfed for 45 minutes every 45 minutes.

Comparatively, DS2 has been sleeping quite well. He was up for three feeds last night but that felt entirely normal for me and at least there were a couple of hours of straight sleep in there! Shame DS1 was up in the night three times

Radiator1234 Tue 02-Apr-13 15:45:09

Ahh good stuff Countess. Congrats on the 11th March baba too!

Szeli honestly don't beat yourself up about the dummy. I think most people end up using them in the end (including me). All the books even recommend it in the first six months or so. Babies need to suck on something so it's either a dummy or your boob. Ouch to the latter!

SayCoolNowSayWhip Tue 02-Apr-13 17:45:55

Hi Rubyroo! grin Yes that's the problem with two of them - even if one is sleeping well, you can bet the other one won't be!

DD has had D&V since last night - joy. DS has started korma-ing. So our nappies are just joyous!

RubyrooUK Tue 02-Apr-13 18:13:09

Oh no SayCool - your poor DD. And obviously poor you. D&V is my worst of all nightmares.

DS1 had an ear infection when DS2 was born which has now settled into a nasty cold. DS2 also has a nasty cold already, which seems extremely unfair. And he is blocked up and vomiting his breastfeeds so I have to repeat them.

But....DS1 has been giving me enormous cuddles and being very sweet with his little brother so I should stop complaining as things have been worse!

Dirtymistress Tue 02-Apr-13 18:19:43

I have survived another 12 hour day alone with themgrin And made it to soft play and the swings! Everyone is still alivegrin will be starting on the jack Daniels as soon as DP walks through the door in ten minutes though, Christ on a bike, I am knackered!

SayCoolNowSayWhip Tue 02-Apr-13 18:22:26

It's horrible when they're ill, isn't it. Your poor DS2 - really hope that clears up. And your DS1 of course, but ill newborns are just so difficult to treat.

Am stuck on sofa bfing DS while DH puts DD down. It's heartbreaking cos she keeps asking for 'mummy cuddles' and I'm powerless to do anything! What do you do when they both need you??!

Arrgh. I need wine.....

SayCoolNowSayWhip Tue 02-Apr-13 18:22:57

X post with DirtyMistress - good on you for surviving the day!

Whereisthesnow Tue 02-Apr-13 18:34:21

Rubyroo your ds2 has the same birthday as my ds1! Sounds like you're doing well though.

Just did ds1's bedtime and bath. He was desperately trying to get all his toys out for me to play with and procrastinating a lot. Felt like I was going to have a little weep with it as I just feel very torn as could hear ds2 starting to yowl for a feed

RubyrooUK Tue 02-Apr-13 18:43:58

Well done for surviving the day DirtyMistress - you appear to have accomplished activities too!

SayCool - it is so so hard to divide your time. Every time I feed DS2, my DS1 comes and sits on the front of my lap. It's very sweet but suffocating. This also occurs when I go to the toilet which is even worse. grin

At the moment, I'm putting DS1 to bed while DH wrangles DS2 and walks him up and down until I'm done. This won't last when DS2 gets more vocal with his objections but it is such a nightmare getting DS1 to bed without me at the moment that he takes all feels like we are surviving on a knife edge and everything may fail at any moment.

Dirtymistress Tue 02-Apr-13 20:19:57

I agree with everyone else, trying to keep them both happy is really hard work. I feel like a coiled spring all day long. I can't ever relax. I back to the weight I was before I had ds1 already I think just from all the nervous energy, oh and never having time to eatconfused

TheCountessOlenska Tue 02-Apr-13 20:22:36

Ha ha Rubyroo my DD is doing the lap thing too - I have to check every so often that the life hasn't been crushed from poor little DS, who is manfully remaining latched on under my jumper somewhere!!

Staycool I know, it breaks my heart that I can't snuggle with DD at bedtime anymore - I am still doing bedtime because DH not here, but I have to sit and bf DS (next to the bath, next to the bed etc etc) rather than actually getting in for a cuddle like I used too sad

Szeli my dummy is MIDWIFE APPROVED grin . Never used one with DD but my boobs were so sore for the first week than my midwife told me to use the dummy to give me a break. I am finding it great for the car and pushchair although he is not a big fan of it at night (prefers boob) but I will persevere as I think they are great for self settling (which DD still struggles with age nearly 3)

beanzmum Tue 02-Apr-13 21:11:12

Yay that I can join in the newborn thread, and that I've got time to post!! Double whammy grin

I've got DD, who was 3yrs at the end of Feb, and DS was born on Saturday - 30.03.13. He was 4.26kg (9lb 5?-ish) & a natural birth on gas & air. After he was born I think I was in shock that I'd actually done it (although I know that's what our bodies are designed to do). We were home the same evening, which was great as we could introduce DD to her baby brother before bedtime. Although must admit the 'grass is greener' version is that it would have been nice to have some time just with DS to bond a bit before launching headlong into the attention-juggling act.

BFing seem much easier with DS than it ever was with DD, although admittedly it is early days. Think it's slightly down to DS latching well instinctively and being super hungry. He seems to be a cluster feeder. Which is ok as it means he's sleeping in big chunks. Just awkward to manage DD's need for my time as well in the feeding 'zones'

Szeli, so sorry to hear about your birthing experience. I hope things improve dramatically from a low starting point. And I'm all for the dummy as well. My mum gave me some sage advice about the dummy for DD - sucking is a natural self-soothing reflex, and as they get older, a dummy habit is far easier to break than a thumb/ finger sucking one! (ie- you can't very well take away a finger wink)

Dirtymistress Wed 03-Apr-13 02:35:34

Hi beanz. I am shock at you going home so quick. How are you feeling physically? X

SayCoolNowSayWhip Wed 03-Apr-13 04:21:38

Ok if there was ever a night to make me give up bfing, this is it. I have literally not stopped feeding since 8 in the evening.

I am exhausted.

RubyrooUK Wed 03-Apr-13 04:28:45

Ah I feel your pain SayCool. Here I am awake and feeding too. Since DS2 likes to overeat and vomit, his last feed has taken an hour with breaks for winding. But I have had a couple of hours sleep between 11-1am and 2-3am so I haven't done a marathon session like you.

Damn these babies with their need for food. I can't see anybody bringing me a full meal at 4:30am. Apparently adults have to show some self restraint. All very disappointing. smile

And hello Countess and Beanz too. smile

beanzmum Wed 03-Apr-13 07:41:08

Hi dirty. I was a bit shock too. But the alternative was spending the night on the postnatal ward with 5 other women & their babies vs. my bed & a roast dinner my best friend had on. At the time was no contest!

Am feeling ok. Although DS decided that feeds at 1.30 (1 boob), 3.30 (2 boobs) and 5.45 (1 boob again) was in order this morning. Now am shattered. Will join you all for a brew.

Thank god for DH being on paternity leave & DD seemingly adjusting ok to him being around for more than just a weekend. Must seem a strange treat for her, as she usually only gets to see him briefly before breakfast on week days.

Whereisthesnow Wed 03-Apr-13 08:15:02

Saycool and ruby poor you - hope you're getting some kip now.
I came home on the evening of ds2 being born - would have been sooner but they wanted to keep us in to check his blood sugars due to his size. They tried to keep me in overnight because my blood pressure was a bit funny but the ward was like a sauna plus staying in was one of the worst things I remembered about ds1 so they let me go.
Talking of which, must make gp appointment today as the midwives keep saying the blood pressure is not great
Hope you all have a good day

SayCoolNowSayWhip Wed 03-Apr-13 08:40:40

<groan> Managed to snatch about an hour and a half sleep on the sofa bed with DS. DD has been having nightmares all night as well as still being ill. DH is ill as well. Am seriously asking myself why the FRIG I thought I could do this....

Right, whinge over.

Hi Beanz! Sounds like a pretty quick labour - well done! Same birth date as my DS as well smile

Is it too early for wine??!

beanzmum Wed 03-Apr-13 10:02:59

Hmmm, whip might be a bit early for wine, but a Bloody Mary may be just the pre-lunch treat you need!

Right. Am off to cook a meat sauce for a lasagne while DH has DD at a holiday camp thing for the morning. Poor mite had a horrid cough last night and is all stuffed up. She's been so good at remembering to cover her mouth if she coughs in the same room as the baby smile. Fingers crossed we don't all come down with the same lurgy. It's hard enough being sleep deprived, let alone ill as well. Whip, hope your DH and DD recover quickly.

RubyrooUK Wed 03-Apr-13 14:13:54

Whereis - is the blood pressure high/low? Hope it gets sorted out by the GP. Is it normally wonky or just post birth?

Can't believe they discharged you so quickly after your DS2 was born. Although I was chucked out 24 hours after my c section, the woman next to me in the ward also had only a few hours (sneeze birth grin) before she was discharged. Post natal wards are so horrible though; I'm not surprised you made your escape. I think they tend to be anti-recovery places. smile

RubyrooUK Wed 03-Apr-13 17:10:39

Oh arse. My friend has just called to say her toddler has chicken pox - they visited this weekend, the day before the spots came out. And her DD kissed DS2 goodbye.

Hopefully DS1 will be ok as he has had CP already; does the newborn tend to get my immunity if I'm breastfeeding? He already has a cold and I'd hate him to get chicken pox so small.....

And there is scarlet fever at DS1's nursery this week. Hoping that DS1 has not licked the face of the affectec child or whatever he normally does that ensures he gets every illness going.

Honestly, how is poor DS2 going to avoid all these illnesses while he is small? Ahhhhhh.

SayCoolNowSayWhip Wed 03-Apr-13 17:44:44

Rubbish. My replies keep disappearing!

Ruby, I hope you manage to escape the chicken pox. I think if you're bfing then yes the immunity should pass to the baby (but not 100% sure). Scarlet fever sounds horrendous as well! Bloody nurseries..... smile

DS saw infant feeding specialist today and definitely has a posterior tongue tie. NHS can't do anything till June confusedshockangry so having to pay for a private snippage on Friday. Hopefully this will sort some of the bfing issues.

Definitely finding it difficult with 2 of them. Newborns are relatively easy compared to toddlers!

Szeli Wed 03-Apr-13 18:45:45

Is everybody on at least number two then? I bow down ladies.

Anybody formula feeding? I intended to breast feed so never read up on bottles but the way they suggest (letting a new kettle cool each time; making each bottle up as you go) just doesn't seem practical...

Thanks for the kind words ladies; back in hospital now Monday, bricking it xx

BrianCoxandTheTempleofDOOM Wed 03-Apr-13 18:58:25

hi! can I join please?

wasn't on original thread, don't have a toddler, I have a.9 yo DD.

more of a place marker so I can come back later during cluster feed!

DS was born 28.03, elective c-section, 8lb 8oz, BF and I have my mum staying til I am back on my feet (exP is around but doesn't live here so I need the help).

congrats on all the lovely newborns and <sleepy dust> sprinkled liberally around for tonight grin

beanzmum Wed 03-Apr-13 19:02:32

Ruby, if you're BFing and you've had CP, then bub should receive your immunity through breast milk. There is a CP immunisation you can get through your GP, but it's on request and you'd have to pay for it. I don't know from what age babies/ children can receive it though.

Szeli, good luck on Monday!

As for formula, I combination fed DD from 5wks (I simply couldn't keep up with her demands once her first growth spurt hit), and she self-weaned off the breast at 4.5mths at the same point I started to introduce baby rice & plain purees.

I went with Aptamil as I'd read & been told that it's the closest approximation to breast milk (no idea how true that is). DD was happy on it. I went with sterilising bottles, then filling them with boiled water, capping them and leaving them at room temperature. I only ever gave DD formula at room temp (made life so much easier being out & about, not having to worry about having a thermos/ finding a microwave, etc). The powder dissolves perfectly well, and you don't have to worry so much about bacteria as they thrive at temps closer to 40deg C. Just carry the cooled, boiled water in the bottle and the powder separately and mix the feeds as you need them smile

I'm happy with the idea of combination feeding again, especially as I'm rubbish at expressing and I like the idea of DS being able to take a bottle & being fed by people other than me! Am thinking that we'll see how just BFing goes this time around and we may start a bottle of formula every other day or so in a few weeks.

RubyrooUK Wed 03-Apr-13 19:21:31

Thanks everyone. Will ring the health visitor tomorrow to ask stupid questions about CP. I am a bit gutted though as I will have to cancel plans to see relative with cancer who is desperate to see the baby until I know we are CP free...sad

Szeli, about formula feeding, I am not at the moment although I am apparently going back to work at 6mo so may do mixed feeding after that. DS1 would never take a bottle, even of expressed milk (many tears wept over the stress of that when I went back to work last time, I can tell you) and this time I am hoping to have an alternative plan when my breasts can't be there in person. grin

SayCoolNowSayWhip Wed 03-Apr-13 19:46:48

Szeli good luck for the hospital - forgive me if you've said already but what for? And no bowing down necessary - no one is taking away the immense difficulty of your first newborn. Hope you are starting to feel a bit better and recover from the birth.

We didn't formula feed with DD until she self-weaned off the boob at 7 months, but she did take expressed milk from a bottle from about 2 weeks... Personally (and I'm no expert) I'd recommend trying a bottle of expressed reasonably early on to get him used to a bottle, but if he's taking dummies already then he'll probably be ok.

DS has fed better since we saw the IFS (not that she did anything to him physically) so maybe a lot of it is psychosomatic on my part.... He is currently asleep on my chest while DH cooks tea. DD has been a little whingey pants this afternoon and evening and I feel awful to say it but am looking forward to tomorrow when she's spending the day with my PILs.

Dirtymistress Wed 03-Apr-13 19:56:30

Well E was 8.13lb today at clinic, from 7.7lb at birth. Only on the 30th centile which seems bizarre after ds1 being on the 98th for as long as I can remember. I'm formula feeding and he still wants feeding all day long! N has had quite a stroppy day today despite DP being off and us going to swings and Surestart. Invariably he just wants to crawl all over me and cling on like a limpet, and will attempt to push his brother or kick him if he feels he is getting in the way. And my mother arrives tomorrow. Sigh.confused

Whereisthesnow Wed 03-Apr-13 20:53:31

Ruby thanks for asking about my bp - it's usual if fine, just during labour was rather high and a few times afterwards. Think maybe pushing out a 10lb baby had something to do with it ... Anyway it was ok today but high for me, so gp going to keep an eye on it.
Dh and I have got to stage of feeling a bit broken tonight. Ds1 challenging, ds2 never off the boob, think we are all coming down with colds. To add to everything we have leak in our bathroom which has gone into our bedroom next door. Plumber has done temporary repair and we fortunately are getting new bathroom fitted in a few weeks anyway.
Inlaws coming this weekend but considering escaping to my parents next weekend with request that they mop our fevered brows and make us nice food!

Whereisthesnow Wed 03-Apr-13 20:55:50

Ps would second introducing bottle early!
What newborn bottles would you use? I've just got boots own brand which I don't think ds2 is that keen on.
Also what brand of dummy would you use? Think a noise cork would be useful whilst I'm dealing with ds1!

Dirtymistress Wed 03-Apr-13 21:09:32

I use tommee tippee closer to nature ones and cherry teat dummies from wherever. Bad mummy that I amgrin

beanzmum Wed 03-Apr-13 21:51:25

I use the Tommee Tippee closer to nature bottles & teats too. DD favoured the Boots own brand dummies.

DS has a super strong sucking reflex & is already taking a dummy, but (at the moment) likes the Tommee Tippee 0-3mth ones. I just went to Boots & bought some Boots, TT and Avent dummies so I could test DS out on them to find the one he liked grin

Whip, meant to say before that's good news you've had the tongue tie positively ID'd. Totally rubbish you have to pay for it to be fixed in a decent time frame though. One of my NCT friends from 1st time round had serious feeding issues with her DD - tongue tie took almost 3mths to diagnose!

Szeli Wed 03-Apr-13 23:16:41

Baby B refuses anything but Nuk teats (what he had in hospital) but any bottle. Think il just stack up some more bottles and do the cooled way; second person to say that today and all the carton milk is room temp anyway so that makes sense to me. Cheers!

Recovery is slow lived as I keep having flashbacks and bursting into tears and still can't lie down properly but it will come.

They want to test my bloods Monday as I'm on some injections for the next six weeks and they want to test the dose is high enough and my iron levels - why they couldn't do this in the week I was in hospital is beyond me. I hate injections etc but I was past the point of caring when I was imprisioned by them; also how a two hour round trip to the hospital is me recovering from surgery and taking it easy is also beyond me.... Gah


beanzmum Thu 04-Apr-13 02:51:27

My milk came in over the day yesterday, & must admit that I'm glad DS has just woke for a feed (despite cluster feeding like a demon all evening). I've totally got the inflate-a-boob effect going on. And Oh My God but I had forgotten how painful that first latch is! shock

RubyrooUK Thu 04-Apr-13 03:39:11

Oh ouch Beanz. I remember that first latch very well - like your nipples are being shredded.

I had terrible engorgement this time when my milk came in (actually I think DeathMetalMum from this thread kindly posted on another thread I started, asking for help). It was so you remember the tragic character Lolo Ferrari from Eurotrash? That was honestly how I looked for a couple of days. Minus the bleached hair.

Now I just look like I've had an ill-advised over-ambitous boob job for my size which has gone a bit lopsided (depending on when I last fed).

It's all glamour having kids.


RubyrooUK Thu 04-Apr-13 03:42:36

On a more serious note, Szeli, sorry you've had to go back to hospital. That definitely doesn't help anyone to recover. You have had such a hard time. Stupid injections. Are you feeling any better in yourself? X

Radiator1234 Thu 04-Apr-13 09:49:00

Gosh I just feel so exhausted! Struggling to stay awake during night feeds and in the day my body just feels so tired! No plans today so going to sleep when the baby sleeps.....bleurgh!

Szeli Thu 04-Apr-13 10:08:14

Ah ruby it's good to see the funny side of engorgement; my partner is practically in tears most days because he can't have a play.

Anyone ever used ducolax to clear it up? A friend suggested it this week, tbf I could do with the 'help' anyways.

I'm not too bad still sore and weepy but off to the homelands tonight so hopefully that'll be a nice break x

SayCoolNowSayWhip Thu 04-Apr-13 12:25:47

Ducolax to clear up engorgement? Just a note of caution - I don't think you're supposed to take laxatives when bfing as they can pass to the baby..... Worth checking with your midwife Szeli. Sorry to hear you're still suffering from your experience sad Hope things settle down soon. I find lots of newborn cuddles help!

Hope you manage to get some sleep today Radiator. Just remember - this will pass.....

Szeli Thu 04-Apr-13 12:30:12

I'm not bf because I couldn't pick him up post surgery (still can't now) so everyone else had to feed him.

Asked midwife today who gave me some laxatives for the 'normal' usage and said she didn't think it woul work to dry my milk up anyways but if it did mores the bonus - best send the OH for some more cabbage!


Radiator1234 Thu 04-Apr-13 14:02:32

No sleep yet booooo spent a long time this morning trying to settle her... That wasn't in the plan.

V difficult to plan much isn't it :-)

Yesterday I was trying to get out of the house when I was subject to DD's first projectile poo. Yes one of those tht went all over my jeans, top, carpet etc.... Argh!!

And while writing this post the poor thing was sick on me while Breastfeeding. Quite the puker this one. Poor thing always comes out of her nose sad. I am just used to smelling of baby sick all the time now.

SayCoolNowSayWhip Thu 04-Apr-13 16:36:29

Oh duh Szeli, sorry, I didn't click that.... In which case yes, I'd imagine Dulcolax will do the trick! Have you tried arnica tablets? My friend swore by them after her section and said she thought her recovery time was greatly reduced by them. Hope you get to pick up your new lo soon.

Radiator you have my sympathies. DS is a champion pooer, and what with DD's D&V our house smells delicious!

Radiator1234 Thu 04-Apr-13 18:30:14


twinklesparkles Thu 04-Apr-13 18:55:03

Hi everyone

Baby twinkle born yesterday, at 8lbs 6oz smile couldn't believe how big she was, had a feeling she may be, my ds was only 4lbs 13oz, tore badly with him and forceps.. How I managed to push out 8lbs 6oz with only a tiny tear is beyond me.

Breastfeeding... Ouch :/ sent dh out for some lansinoh this morning... Think its helping, although I spend half hour trying to squeeze it out of the bloody tube.. I mean honestly, a breastfeeding mother in a rush and in pain does not wanna be sitting there for half hour tryna squeeze out a pea sized amount ... Or maybe I'm just weak ;)

Took dd to hospital this morning for her baby check up ( we were allowed home last night after the 6 hours) midwife will be here tommorow, no idea what time.. Does anyone know if its the same midwife I see at antinatal clinic? Or is there a different one for babies?

My ds is fine with the baby, a bit over excited but that's nothing new when we came home from hospital he gave her his favourite bear to look after her smile bless him. He's 5 and half though smile so not too young to not understand

Dirtymistress Thu 04-Apr-13 19:35:54

Congrats twinklesgrin 5 years sounds like a very sensible gap, unlike mine. Have had hideous day.

TheCountessOlenska Thu 04-Apr-13 20:15:52

Congrats twinkles! 5 years between me and my sis - have always got on really well smile

We had bad night last night - DD has this horrible night time cough which keeps waking her (never been ill a day in her life so fantastic time to start!!) , and every time I got up to see to her, the baby woke up - sad. He wants feeing around every 3 hours during the night but also seems to get an attack of wind at 4am every morning that takes me about an hour to deal with - usually ends in a massive poo. DD was not a windy baby at all so I'm not sure what I should do with him - he's not crying but he makes terrible groaning noises and farts shock. Just been patting him on the back and rubbing his tummy.

Poor DD has been tired and grumpy all day today - said she didn't like the baby and didn't like me cuddling the baby! I think it's best for her to let out her feelings so I just said that she didn't have to like the baby but she must be careful and not hurt him (!), and that I would always make time to cuddle her when I could.

I am finding it quite hard though - it's the constant demands from DD which she definitely ramps up when she can see I'm breastfeeding. I hate getting angry with her but she has caused me to snap at her a few times today sad

Szeli Thu 04-Apr-13 20:23:55

Aw twinkle sounds lovely and countess sounds tough, hopefully your dd will come round.


RubyrooUK Thu 04-Apr-13 20:57:33

Congratulations Twinkles!

Oh and put the Lansinoh on a hot water bottle or dunk the tube in hot water for a minute or so and it comes out much more easily. It becomes the Lurpak Spreadable of boob gunk. grin

I am full of these kind of boring facts. Possibly I am spending far too much time breastfeeding. Nipple care is obviously high on my agenda. smile

RubyrooUK Thu 04-Apr-13 21:12:11

Sorry it's been tough going Countess and Twinkles. I had a grim night last night too. Just so tired. The only saving grace is that DS1 still seems quite into the baby...although he is desperate to pick him up and so I spend a lot of time saving DS2 from certain death at the hands of the world's clumsiest toddler.

Anyway, you can all feel sorry for me now - my mum is here tomorrow as she is staying for a while (that bit's nice). But brilliantly, my parents in law have also decided to come and spend the day with us. They are also nice but the thought of juggling multiple parents and making my father in law 75 cups of tea makes me feel tired. smile

beanzmum Thu 04-Apr-13 21:45:46

Ruby thank you for your posts - needed a good giggle. I think the hormone shift + fatigue + one too many really funny comments humour attempts by DH had me crack this evening.

That, and DH's suggestion that he go to the rugby this Saturday evening. Ummm, hmmm, let me think about this ... No, I don't feel ready to do dinner, bath & bed for DD solo whilst also cluster BFing a 7 day old newborn!

beanzmum Thu 04-Apr-13 21:47:26

Oh, and Ruby, why can't your FIL make his own tea & excuse you hostess duties this once? wink

RubyrooUK Thu 04-Apr-13 22:21:24

Ah Beanz, FIL is very well meaning but alas totally domestically incompetent. I am not sure he would recognise a kettle.

The good news is that I'm taking all the grandparents to an inner city soft play centre with a 30 foot plastic slide tomorrow afternoon. I'm going to see which 65 year old is lucky enough to accompany DS1 down it repeatedly after crawling through an assault course designed for small children.

Alas my c section scar means I can't get involved in sliding and such things, so I will have to sit breastfeeding DS2 while the elderly people take the strain of toddler/soft play mayhem. wink

beanzmum Thu 04-Apr-13 22:49:24

Awesome idea Ruby - they can have it out amongst themselves for favourite GP status grin

Am so hoping for a decent stretch of continuous sleep tonight. Have had words with DS & have fingers crossed he's on the same wavelength ...

Radiator1234 Fri 05-Apr-13 00:55:48

Ahh Twinkles congrats. They make you go back to hosp for check up? That's awful why don't they come to you? I had the same midwife who came round to me 3 times after the birth, but it was a different one from antenatal ( where I never saw the same one twice).

Lansinoh-keep on radiator but be careful when you open that it doesn't go anywhere.

Countess... Xperience sounds much like mine with my other DD!

Ruby your posts make me chuckle :-)

Went to bed at 8pm feel great for it. Just a shame I'm saying I "feel great" at 1am as opposed to 8 am. Wondering how many times I'll be up between now and then....

twinklesparkles Fri 05-Apr-13 01:13:24

Thanks all smile

Radiator, yeh I think it was because I was let home at 7:40, so they couldn't get in touch with the midwife to let her know to come round in morning. Think I'm gonna stay indoors a few days now

Why can't breastfeeding be easy? Or at least why can't you have milk from the start sad my nipples are agony, I'm sure she's latched on ok, its just so painful, can't use the left at all. sad poor little thing you can tell she's starving sad trying to resist the formulas and dummies although I may risk it and get a dummy tommorow at least then she can sooth herself to get some sleep

Got a feeling its gonna be a long night, sat here in front of baby tv smile just had some goldfish now its marble water painting or something.

Oh how sad grin

beanzmum Fri 05-Apr-13 01:21:56

Hi Twinkles, welcome & congratulations! & I hope the BFing gets easier for you.

I was so hoping to join the night shift closer to 2.30am, but here we are! sad

beanzmum Fri 05-Apr-13 01:29:07

Oh so awesome. DS is feeding & shitting simultaneously. Just what I need at 1.30am. Seriously though, how do babies do that?

twinklesparkles Fri 05-Apr-13 01:32:27

Oh wow, its half 1. It was 12 just not long ago...

At least the evening seems to be going quick, hope you ladies manage to get some sleep smile

Have just put dd in the moses basket, see if she settles a bit sad

RubyrooUK Fri 05-Apr-13 01:37:05

Oh hello Beanz and Twinkle. I'm awake too. DS2 has a very, very perky gleam in his eyes which is totally unnecessary at this time of the night. He is looking pretty lively all round really. Nooooooooooo.

I think he must be a faulty one actually. I've heard tales of babies who sleep for hours at a time and I'm sure I ticked that box on the child ordering form....

twinklesparkles Fri 05-Apr-13 08:24:11

Hope you got some sleep ruby

Well, I discovered how to get dd to sleep.. You must never put her down!! So yeah not ideal, but it meant I could calm her enough to feed her better and managed to get a few hours broken sleep

smile she also likes carseat more than moses basket. Gonna wash her swing seat today, I wasn't planning on getting it out for a while but its same kinda seat as the car seat so may relax her and give her bit of movement and give me 5 mins peace

smile have a good day everyone smile

SayCoolNowSayWhip Fri 05-Apr-13 12:04:05

Twinkles - yes DS is fine as long as one of us is holding him. Have been co-'sleeping' since he was born (don't tell the midwife!) as that's the only way for me to get any shut eye. He was windy and colicky last night and couldn't settle him before 2 am sad

Tongue tie snip today. Am terrified for him. He's so little! Please hold my hand....

Dirtymistress Fri 05-Apr-13 12:46:41

Handholding from me saycool, you poor thing, be brave for him even though you'll want to sob. It will only be a moment for everything being much better after. smile

num3onway Fri 05-Apr-13 12:52:08

Hello ladies!
Today is our due date and baby num 3 is 3 days old! Doing really well with a nice feeding and sleeping routine forming. I feel so healthy and motivated! Pregnancy does not suit me at all! Ds 1+2 are loving dd to bits and enjoying helping to do things!
Hope all are well x

SayCoolNowSayWhip Fri 05-Apr-13 13:09:10

Wow num3 you sound completely relaxed and in control! What's your routine? Any tips??!

Also, with the second child malarkey.... What do you do with the toddler when you're bfing the newborn? I can't keep resorting to TV but what else can I do? Obvs at the moment DH is here to share the load but am bricking it for when he goes back to work....

num3onway Fri 05-Apr-13 13:32:21

My ds1+2 are 3 + 5 years old so past toddler stage really, also I ff as aposed to bf maybe this also helps!

Today dd fed at 5.45 then slept til 9, fed and changed was awake til 11.30 fed at 11ish. Slept til now, changed and fed again.

Her brothers have tidied their room with guidence, played on cbeebies website and had lunch.

And I have done 2 wash loads, all pots, put away most washing and stripped beds!


RubyrooUK Fri 05-Apr-13 13:46:39

Quick handhold from me too SayCool. X

TheCountessOlenska Fri 05-Apr-13 16:12:02

Hope it goes/went well SayCool

I've been wearing my Babawrap sling today - never bothered with a sling with DD but I needed both my hands back! I quite like it, not sure about wearing it out of the house.

Breastfeeding has settled down a bit - less cluster feeding etc (till the next growth spurt I guess) had better night last night. I cannot get him to sleep for more than two hours in his moses basket but co-sleeping he went 5 hours!

twinkle yeah DS likes (in order of preference) being held (has liked the sling today), carseat, pushchair, bouncy chair. Not keen on moses basket at all.

Radiator1234 Fri 05-Apr-13 16:46:26

Hope the tongue tie snip went ok Whip. Bless :-(

DeathMetalMum Fri 05-Apr-13 17:49:20

Hope the tounge tie went well saycool.

We have had a busy fee days went to clinic to get dd2 weighed on wednesday finally regained birthweight but HV wants me to get her weighed again next week also - I don't really mind as they run a stay and play session at the same time which dd1 loves.

Have my second full day solo tomorrow going to feed the ducks to keep dd1 occupied and make her tired. Dp goes back to evening shifts on sunday so somehow have to work out. cooking and eating dinner and getting dd1 into bed while juggling/feeding dd2 anyone have any clue how I do that?

Saycool you could try a breastfeeding bag/box, you fill it with a few snacks and some activities mybe some crayons, some cars, stickers, a dvd etc and dc gets to choose something out of the box each feed.

SayCoolNowSayWhip Fri 05-Apr-13 19:13:30

Good luck tomorrow Deathmetal! The evening sounds particularly difficult - hope it goes well. Early dinner, bf while DS1 in bath?

Tongue snip went fine - really lovely lady who came to do it. Small amount of blood, lots of screaming from me but he settled after a quick feed and has just eaten slept and eaten and slept since! Fingers crossed the sleeping continues tonight....

Had forgotten the magic of swaddling! Hadn't been able to put DS down for a sleep, but swaddled him up and put him in Moses basket and he stayed asleep! Miracles....

Thanks for all the handholding thanks - I'm just a big wuss smile

SayCoolNowSayWhip Fri 05-Apr-13 19:15:14

Oh and Countess, yes I need to get my sling down from the loft. I think DS will be a sling baby....

I couldn't get on with the baba sling - couldn't work out how to do it properly and it always felt too loose and unsafe. Will give it another go though!

TheCountessOlenska Fri 05-Apr-13 20:24:51

Glad it went well Saycool, and hopefully it will make bfing easier for you too?

Got the Babasling as it is the top rated one on Mumsnet (it was a panic buy so have done no research into slings!)- I did it up too loose at first, had to get my mum blush to do it for me and it was fine after that. Going to see if I can manage it tomorrow on my own.

Deathmetalmum - I do all bedtimes on my own as DH works away (and even when he's here, DD insists on me doing it). I have had good and bad ones so far, there is a lot of sitting on the loo breastfeeding watching DD in the bath etc. Dinner has been a bit slapdash, DD eating a lot of fishfingers in front of cbeebies grin

Dirtymistress Fri 05-Apr-13 20:25:58

Pleased you are both okay saycool. Yes to swaddling in our house too. And slings. We even use a sling for ds1 - he loves to high up on dp's back. Left dirtybaby with my mother for 4 hours today! First time I've been gone for more than half an hour. It was fine, took dirtytoddler on the train to visit daddy at work. grin

DeathMetalMum Fri 05-Apr-13 20:39:50

Glad it went well Saycool. I would also been crying the most.

We do baths in the morning here so don't have that to worry about (dd1 has eczema so never been part if bedtime routine). Mostly worrying about dinner think we will be living off fish fingers and jacket pots + beans/tuna/whatever for the forseable future. Main problem is dd needing me to be in the room until she is asleep hopefully can just bf dd2 and she doesn't disrupt too much.

I've dug out our never yet used sling also, we were given a Wilkinet I just need to get round to reading how to use it and practice with one of dd's dolls!

Radiator1234 Fri 05-Apr-13 20:55:25

DeathMetal... I think that the tea/bath/bed (or no bath if like you you do baths in the morning) routine with two is a nightmare!! Certainly in these early days anyway. The first time I tried to do it on my own - while OH was out - I almost had a nervous breakdown. One crying, the other one then crying, .... toddler not dealing well with situation... putting herself in "time out" and refusing to come out, throwing a paddy etc. Argh. Anyway since then I've done it a few times. Each time is a bloody nightmare. I can't see it getting easier until DD2 gets a bit older.

Whereisthesnow Fri 05-Apr-13 21:56:46

Glad to hear tongue tie snip went ok Saycool.
I too am dreading bedtime on my own. DH back at work on Tuesday, he does a few late shifts a week - fortunately none until week after though.
Thinking I must try and get ds2 to wake up a bit more in afternoons - he is very sleepy until about 7 then really alert until about now - not really condusive to proper bedtime at 7ish! We started a bedtime routine with ds1 fairly early on and think it helped with his sleep, just can't quite remember when we started

SayCoolNowSayWhip Sat 06-Apr-13 03:08:27

Aargh, feeding NOT going well tonight sad Not sure if its the snip or my stupid large boobs but DS is now having real problems latching on. He seems to take one look at the boob and have a screaming fit. Can't get him on, and milk squirts everywhere which makes it worse... I am covered in it!

I hate my boobs.

RubyrooUK Sat 06-Apr-13 04:12:32

Glad the snip went well SayCool but sorry about the feeding issues. Hopefully he will get back into the swing of it very soon.

It may be that his tongue is just a bit sore temporarily (although that could be me talking rubbish as I don't really know anything about tongue tie, sorry). I am sure your boobs are lovely really. smile

I am up feeding hoping that DS2 doesn't increase his record of four hours awake in the night (like last night, the longest night on earth). Have spent all day looking and feeling like a very squashed slug.

Luckily I deployed my in laws and my mum to blow bubbles for DS1 outside in sub-zero temperatures for about three hours, so they made themselves useful.

Now, must attempt to get DS2 back in his moses basket....although clearly no babies are briefed at birth on liking moses baskets and they'd much rather sleep on their parents.

Whereisthesnow Sat 06-Apr-13 04:43:25

Saycool I'd agree that probably the snip has made his mouth sore. But ds was a little gassy at the start and couldn't get latched on with much screaming - are you using infacol? That seems to have calmed him down a bit

Dirtymistress Sat 06-Apr-13 08:05:02

Not having a good day, have terrible cough which has stopped me sleeping at all. Ds1 seems to be getting his molars and is inconsolable. Plus have dogs to walk, my parents to contend with and no time to enjoy my baby. Sigh.hmm

RubyrooUK Sat 06-Apr-13 08:27:06

Oh sorry to hear that Dirty. Hopefully today will be better than you expect.

How are the boobs/your DS, StayCool? Have you tried reverse pressure softening at all? This was the best thing when I was engorged and DS2 had trouble feeding as it made the nipple much easier for him to latch onto.

I still do it now if my boobs get over-full. I sympathise on the big boobs front too. I'm a 32C in normal life but currently a 34HH. Ouch. My boobs are definitely bigger than DS'

RubyrooUK Sat 06-Apr-13 08:27:45

Sorry SayCool, not StayCool...damn phone. Although StayCool is a pretty good name too. grin

SayCoolNowSayWhip Sat 06-Apr-13 10:04:53

Rubyroo me too! Just had to order some 34HH bras online. Ridiculous!

I will try the reverse massage thing, thanks. DS is really unsettled today, wants to feed all the time and cries when he's not. Also having explosive poos, hope he's not got diarrhoea sad

Hope your cough gets better Dirtymistress. Any chance your visitors can do something to help you rather than you waiting on them?

Dirtymistress Sat 06-Apr-13 16:15:11

Parents have gone home-hooray! And walking the dogs was good as weather beautiful today and ds1 loves to come along. Baby has been good as gold. Cough still monstrous, feel like I've got pneumoniahmm but, I did make it to the bookies to place grand national betswink

Szeli Sat 06-Apr-13 20:55:28

Aw saycool hope op went well.

B met his cousins today; 4 hours in the park was lovely but Bs caught the sun a bit so now I feel awful, his cheeks all pink; sun block and parasol need purchasing I think.

Mum kidnapped baby on our return too which was amazing. 3 whole hours sleeping smile x

twinklesparkles Sat 06-Apr-13 22:05:55

Hey everyone

Saycool, glad the snip went well and hope the feeding gets better smile

I won the grand national!! We only placed the bet as it is our dd's name. The odds were 80-1! Couldn't believe we won smile

Having chinese takeaway with dh to celebrate smile

I've had a great, although massively strange day... Gave dd a dummy shock and formula milk shock and she is still breastfeeding and latching on well [sceptical] .. I'm waiting for it all to go wrong.

This afternoon, she had just sucked me dry, I had nothing left she was just screaming screaming and turning blue, didn't know what else to do other than send dh out for milk.
She took an ounce, got the sleep she needed and gave me the time to fill up again before feeding her smile no confusion with the nipple whatsoever .... Too good to be true right?

Fingers crossed it keeps being ok, not planning on giving her more. Maybe another ounce in the morning? Will see.

SayCoolNowSayWhip Sun 07-Apr-13 02:16:52

Wow Twinkles, well done! Cakes are on you then wink

That's great that the formula top up helped and didn't confuse your DD. I know they say not to do it too much though as it can mess up your supply.... But I'm no expert and definitely an advocate for going with whatever works!

Haven't tried DS with a bottle yet as I literally have not had a chance to express. He's a feeder! Cluster fed non stop between 6 and 10.30 this evening and has now been feeding on and off for the last hour. Can't wait to see what his weight is on Monday.... Unfortunately what goes in must come out - I have never seen a baby poo so much!!

SayCoolNowSayWhip Sun 07-Apr-13 02:17:44

Dirtymistress, hope your cough feels better soon. I recommend wine and chocolate grin

ZuleikaD Sun 07-Apr-13 15:04:18

Just marking my place! Been having good day - bad day - good day - bad day since baby D was born on Thursday, and more or less the same with the nights. Feeding every hour on the hour all night last night - thank God DH deals with the other two DCs at night at the moment.

SayCoolNowSayWhip Sun 07-Apr-13 16:24:00

Hi Zuleika, about the same here! We are just milking stations for these babies.....

Cluster feeds. Love it.

ZuleikaD Sun 07-Apr-13 17:18:00

Yes, he seemed horrified when my milk came in yesterday afternoon (and who wouldn't, expected to feed off a concrete football...) but then rapidly got addicted. At least it means nice breastmilk nappies instead of horrible meconium gunk!

num3onway Sun 07-Apr-13 17:22:47

Anyone else formula feeding?x

Dirtymistress Sun 07-Apr-13 17:26:27

Me num3. You are not alonegrin

Whereisthesnow Sun 07-Apr-13 18:39:44

Yes I am feeling like cow with udders too!
Num3 am doing mixed feeding with one bottle of aptamil a day

twinklesparkles Sun 07-Apr-13 18:52:48

Hey num3 smile I'm doing both hun, dd been on cow and gate since yesterday. She only taking an ounce or so, the rest is breast. Its so hard remembering all the rules for making bottles and sterilising! Spent all night on google trying to
relearn it all. smile

Knew my bottle/breast plan would backfire.. She hasn't got nipple confusion exactly, I can still get her to latch on but its more work for her to get the milk out, the bottle puts the milk out quicker. So then she has a strop on the boob! Lol smile gonna ring the childrens centre in the morning and hire a pump. Should hopefully make things easier.

Dirtymistress Sun 07-Apr-13 19:17:19

I am tired all the way down to my boneshmm this cough just will not let up, it's making my back hurt. And ds1 is very stroppy and flinging himself about crying unless he is outside playing and refuses to eat anything. Plus I have five 12 hour days in a row of no DP to look forward to. Sob. Tell me to man up ladies! X

RubyrooUK Sun 07-Apr-13 19:17:45

Concrete footballs is the perfect description of engorged breasts, Zuleika. grin

PickledInAPearTree Sun 07-Apr-13 19:25:25

I saw this pop up in active and it sums up my life at the moment!

Ds2 is 7 weeks and ds1 is 2 just.

It's hard isnt it! Ds1 is ill and has been non stop for a month too.

I had breasts Jordan would hd r been proud of, they were bloody humongous hard and boiling hot - ds had trouble feeding. I massaged them and I was told to express a bit off first to make it easier, which helped a lot.

marshkat Sun 07-Apr-13 20:50:48

Hello people, sorry to join in so late, my lo is now 8 days old and we are both doing ok. ISH! I'm very emotional in afternoon and my boobs hurt loads (formula feeding) Got a bit worried today as lo was really twitching but thanks to searching on mumsnet found out its quite normal. Its a scary job being a new mum. No one can really prepare you for it.

SayCoolNowSayWhip Sun 07-Apr-13 20:56:43

Expressing a bit first definitely helps, DS is latching better every time. He's very sleepy today - hope it continues tonight! Think he's just finished his 7 day growth spurt so hopefully I might have a few days off from cluster feedings...

Dirty I really hope you feel better. My mum swears by Metatone tonic to boost you up when you're ill (you can get it in Boots). 5 12 hour days is not to be sniffed at!

Dirtymistress Sun 07-Apr-13 21:13:07

Thanks saycool. I shall get some tomorrow. X

PickledInAPearTree Sun 07-Apr-13 21:45:20

It's calmed down for me just in the morning, but he sleeps quite well so that's my payback!

RubyrooUK Mon 08-Apr-13 03:49:10

Congratulations Marsh and Pickled! Well, here we are at 3:50am. DH is in bed with DS1, who was shouting "daddy-mummy-daddy-mummy-come here" over the baby monitor.

And now DS2 has fed for 50 minutes. Except it's really about 4 minutes with 46 minutes of winding, a bit of puking down my side and two explosive nappies.

My eyes hurt. My head hurts. My boobs hurt. I am wondering why I thought a second child was manageable. DS2 is meanwhile looking really perky and full of the joys of spring.

<despairs in a sleep-deprived way>

SayCoolNowSayWhip Mon 08-Apr-13 07:40:30

Oh Ruby sad Sympathies. Have a brew

Remember - this too shall pass! There will be a time when you'll get to spend a whole night in your own bed and sleep! when they go to university

I have had explosive poos as well. And what a myth about bf babies not being windy. DS has more wind than a curry-eating football player.

twinklesparkles Mon 08-Apr-13 09:00:16

Morning all smile

Dd was formula fed last night, been bf her all morning, no problems latching on, gonna try persevere (sp?) Throught the day. Hopefully build up enough milk to feed her tonight.

5 days old today, was gonna go to baby group but the midwife told me off for going out lol! So guess ill stay in ... Sending out dh later to get a babybath from town. And pick up my bounty packs smile yay freebies smile

PickledInAPearTree Mon 08-Apr-13 10:50:03

Really? I don't see why you can't go out!

Ds was in hospital for a week post birth and was tube then bottle fed - never any problems with latching though.

Staff told me nipple confusion is a bit over done, it's common in some cultures to ff for the first few days till milk comes in.

ZuleikaD Mon 08-Apr-13 11:03:49

Midwife told you off for going out?? Bizarre. We went out on Saturday when DS was 2 days old! As long as they're well wrapped up I can't see the problem.

Nipple confusion is different from the issues caused by formula-feeding if you really want to breastfeed - the problem becomes one of supply and demand. If you ff then the demand isn't created and you don't make enough milk. 'Running dry' is the best way to get your milk up - your body responds within 24 hours to create more.

beanzmum Mon 08-Apr-13 14:25:18

Afternoon all smile

Been quiet a few days as while baby beanz & I seem to be getting into a rhythm, time to post has been thin on the ground. Although I must admit I managed to find time to do some online shopping at JoJo at c. 4am this morning. Have any of you ladies discovered their post-natal control underwear? I so wish I'd known about it the 1st time around & need spares! Anyway, nothing quite like a spot of necessary retail therapy while BFing grin

Twinkles I'm surprised the MW told you off for contemplating taking your baby out. We've had baby beanz out a few times this week. Think I'd go stir crazy if I didn't get out for at least a walk in the fresh air!

I've been finding that my back is quite sore - think it must be my body readjusting after being so hugely pregnant for what felt like an eternity. But I've been getting horrid referred pain headaches. Is it Ok to take ibuprofen while BFing? Doesn't specify on the packet & I'm almost out of paracetamol.

PickledInAPearTree Mon 08-Apr-13 14:50:12

I have been beanz, no problems.

beanzmum Mon 08-Apr-13 15:32:58

Fab pickled, thanks!

marshkat Mon 08-Apr-13 15:39:50

God, we have been out lots lo is 9 days today! We went to registry office today in the rain!! x

Whereisthesnow Mon 08-Apr-13 15:47:57

I got told no ibuprofen when breast feeding

PickledInAPearTree Mon 08-Apr-13 15:56:27

You can just had a quick look at NHS site. (It does say something about stomach ulcers though)

There's a website somewhere with all the drugs on can't remember it though.

ZuleikaD Mon 08-Apr-13 16:20:14

You can also alternate ibuprofen with paracetamol.

Dirtymistress Mon 08-Apr-13 16:50:07

Jeez. Your midwife would despair of me twinkles. Poor dirtybaby gets dragged all over. We've just been to the swings where we got hailed ongrin bloody weather

PickledInAPearTree Mon 08-Apr-13 17:18:15

It's such an odd thing to say! It's really good to get out and about.

They do come out with some things, they told my friend if she fancied taking some recreational drugs her and her husband should take turns so there is someone to look after the baby! WTF?

Dirtymistress Mon 08-Apr-13 17:47:38

Ha pickled! I think that's sage advice indeed. DP home in an hour, I think I might go and get some recreational drugs and leave him in charge! I would probably have hours of fungrin

twinklesparkles Mon 08-Apr-13 18:03:30

Well, what an absolute fucking shite day sad sad

Midwife came, weighed baby... Baby had lost weight.. Yup I know completely normal and ok... Except my babys gone from 8lbs 6oz ... To 7 lbs 8oz sad can't fucking believe it sad way too much lost. Had to go into nicu, for her to have blood taken, thankfully everythings fine.

Need to top baby up now though, she's had 4 ounces (2x2oz feeds) I'm supposed to breast feed her every 2-3 hours then give her the bottle straight after. She wasn't intrested in the boob this afternoon. Will try again tonight. Nipple hurts so much sad I kinda just want to formula feed her now. At least then I'd be doing something right my breastmilk was clearly doing absolute fuck all ... Think dd has just been sucking on me for comfort rather than feeding. And me being the idiot I am didn't even realise she wasn't taking anything in.

sad knew it was too good to be true, god forbid anything ever goes properly...

Gaah! Sorry pity party and language

I'm just so fucked off... My midwife was lovely though, think she's coming tommorow to see us. Weighing again on friday.

Not looking forward to meeting the health visitor now Sorry I don't mean to diss hv, I know some are lovely, and my new one could be too, I've just never had a good one and the weight being critisized mentioned.

I haven't got a problem with formula feeding whatsoever, it was just so nice having my dd with me and close to me for feeding sad knew it was to good to be true.


PickledInAPearTree Mon 08-Apr-13 18:34:20

Twinkle the same happened to me, he lost 13.5% he was checked at the hospital but they kept him in for tests.

Try not to stress he put it all back on on days it was amazing.

I breastfed and topped up with expressed milk - he was in hospital 5 days only as he'd also been bringing up bile and they wanted to check his bowel.

PickledInAPearTree Mon 08-Apr-13 18:36:19

Plus the MW insinuated I might not have good milk, which is bollocks! My HV was annoyed by it.

PickledInAPearTree Mon 08-Apr-13 18:41:35

Dirty - ha have fun. Mine said to me do you do drugs, I said no but as a point if interest does anyone own up to it? She said, er no.

Plus I had so many visits they all kept asking me about contraception I said its simple I'm never ever having sex again!

ZuleikaD Mon 08-Apr-13 18:46:46

SayCool, how's the feeding going? I ask because the doc came today for the newborn check and DS has tt. Which I suspected but hoped would be ok because he's been latching better the last day or so. I'm ambivalent about getting it snipped if there's no need - the GP said it's one to keep an eye on rather than one that obviously needing doing.

SayCoolNowSayWhip Mon 08-Apr-13 19:45:23

Oh Twinkles thanks. It's not your breast milk that's the problem, and you're doing everything right. I hope your LO puts on some weight soon.

Zuleika the feeding is going much better. He's latching better (hardly sore at all now) and feeding for longer. Still very windy though but he gets that from his dad

Regards the TT I would suggest getting it checked out by an infant feeding specialist. GPs and paeds aren't necessarily that au fait with them and might not give you the best information. I'm guessing its a posterior tongue tie? (At the back of the tongue rather than the front). They're harder to see and diagnose. Difficult to say whether getting it snipped is the right thing for you - if he seems to be feeding fine and putting on weight, then maybe not. However, just anecdotally, my DD put on weight fine and whilst it was painful to latch, I didn't know any different. She was however very colicky and windy. The problem with TT is that the baby can't get enough of the areola to the back of the mouth, so gets tired of sucking harder than he needs to just to get the foremilk, and doesn't get any of the good fatty hindmilk. This means he'll be more gassy, more hungry more often, and probably fussy at the breast.

If you're getting engorged a lot, this is also a sign that your breasts aren't getting drained effectively enough.

Not sure how helpful any of that is! I suppose from my experience I would get it snipped, but only you know if it's affecting you and your baby adversely.

SayCoolNowSayWhip Mon 08-Apr-13 19:46:53

Also if you are going to get it snipped, the earlier the better, otherwise they get in to 'bad' latching habits which are harder to change the older they get.

RubyrooUK Mon 08-Apr-13 20:52:01

Ah Twinkle, so sorry you are feeling so crap. This isn't your fault at all, not do you have rubbish quality milk, I am sure.

Hopefully your DD will have gained weight by next time you see the midwife; it may just be that she is getting the hang of it.

It might be worth giving the La Leche League a call before that if you get worried though. They offered me some good advice when I was worried about DS1's feeding early on - particularly as he'd been topped up with formula in hospital to sort out his jaundice and had trouble latching on at first. As soon as he got the hang of it, he was the world's most committed breastfeeder. Of course you may already have done this, so forgive me if you have....

But DO NOT go around beating yourself up. Hopefully your DD will put on the weight soon and what could be wrong with her having lovely, comforting feeds with you?

Big hug after your rubbish day. X

Whereisthesnow Mon 08-Apr-13 22:56:21

Twinkles like others have said please don't feel bad. Nothing wrong with a bit of mixed feeding. Keep on with the breast feeding if you're enjoying it. Also hospital policy for weight liss can be a bit arbitrary i think for intervention I.e with amount of weight lost - doesn't mean baby isn't doing well.

Szeli Mon 08-Apr-13 23:28:58

twinkle is that really too much to lose? Don't be disheartened; sure babytwinkle will race back now you've cottoned on to the nipples used as soothers etc. and you can still skin to skin for ff too if you enjoy the closeness.

I'm just checking in too. Cancelled my haematology appointment; didn't want to cut short time in the homelands - which was really enjoyable. Lost my iron tablets tho so I have beautiful black rings round my eyes even tho my mum did two baby snatching moments this weekend.

For the first one I got two whole uninterrupted hours of sleep and the other I had two hours in the pub with two beers and an ice cream sundae (I was rather tiddly) wonderful.

Bad news from the weekend tho - I sunburnt baby b sad didn't even think he was in actual sun that long; kept him in the shade in the most part but bit must have been when people were getting cuddles. I was mortified but he seems ok now AND my c section is infected. No wonder it's sore and iv been feeling lousy. Off for antibiotics now tomorrow!


ZuleikaD Tue 09-Apr-13 09:31:41

Thanks SayCool - no, his tie goes all the way to the front of his tongue. I actually thought it was tied as soon as he opened his mouth the first time but then three different midwives saw him and nobody said anything so I assumed I was wrong. But he's getting green nappies not yellow (so too much foremilk), he's windy, he's not draining my breasts properly, and he's doing the snack-and-snooze pattern so one feed can basically take two hours (that was NOT fun at 2am). I want to breastfeed and don't want to carry on in the hope that it might 'stretch', and I also don't want to get mastitis so I've been on the phone to the surgery this morning and we'll hopefully get a referral. It's useful to know from your experience that it's possible to go private if necessary, so thank you very much for sharing! It wouldn't have occurred to me otherwise.

Twinkle, so sorry to hear you've been having a rubbish time. I'm sure your milk is fine, but there are ways of improving supply, too - porridge oats are very good, and fennel tea is supposed to help a lot too. Also plenty of rest! Good quality milk relies on you taking care of you.

beanzmum Tue 09-Apr-13 11:40:53

Twinkies and Szeli, sending big MN hugs and flowers to you both. I hope today is a much better day for you.

beanzmum Tue 09-Apr-13 11:41:30

Oops, Twinkles blush

SayCoolNowSayWhip Tue 09-Apr-13 14:43:18

Eek, DS has been asleep for nearly 4 hours..... My boobs are exploding..,. What do I do???!!

PickledInAPearTree Tue 09-Apr-13 15:08:14

Dilemma! Tempting to enjoy the peace isn't it.

twinklesparkles Tue 09-Apr-13 15:20:07

Aww thanks everyone smile

I'm sorry about my post yesterday, didn't mean to be so self pitying grin

Babys been having plenty of formula, not as the midwife advised, she said 2oz every 3-4 hours after breast, but my dd isn't into that, she wants between 1-2oz every hour lol. So I'm just giving her what she wants. Normally she just wants the 1 oz. She must just have a tiny tummy from my lack of boob milk sad she's enjoying the formula though and I've fed her myself a few times. Think she's just still using me as a dummy though, or to fall asleep on smile smile

Hope she's gained some by friday when the midwife comes back.

ZuleikaD Tue 09-Apr-13 15:51:19

I think after four hours I'd wake to feed, SayCool.

SayCoolNowSayWhip Wed 10-Apr-13 00:56:43

Yawn. That is all.

beanzmum Wed 10-Apr-13 01:51:54

At bedtime this evening my 3yo DD told me the reason she had been so whiney (sp?) in patches through the afternoon was because 'she just wanted me to hold her'.

When I said that unfortunately the baby took priority now (just like she did when she was a baby), she told me 'in that case mummy, I want 2 of you!'

Got to love kiddie logic smile

in other news baby beanz seems to have woken me at 1.30am for a not quite 15min top up. Unimpressed!

beanzmum Wed 10-Apr-13 02:37:12

Make that a 15min feed, dirty nappy, another 25min feed, then woke when I put him down and protested b/c he wasn't still eating. So still going. Yawn.

SayCoolNowSayWhip Wed 10-Apr-13 03:34:47

Yup, DS does that too Beanz. Feed for 10 mind, falls asleep, poos, wants more food, then complains about nappy change so needs more food to calm him down, poos again.... Etc. etc.

That's adorable logic from your DD!

Whereisthesnow Wed 10-Apr-13 05:01:08

Argh. Fell asleep with ds2 whilst feeding in bed, just woken up. Whilst I feel nice and refreshed, don't like thought that I was out cold and he was balanced on my lap

Dirtymistress Wed 10-Apr-13 07:16:21

Whereisthesnow DP and I are constantly falling asleep holding dirtybaby. I am past caring, least I feel like I am getting loads of sleep. Only downside seems to be that everyone gets very sweatygrin nights are a doddle, it's the long, long days of crap weather, no groups on cos of Easter, and a toddler who needs as much exercise as a border collie to keep him happy. And I can't manage to do any shopping. And this bloody cough is going to finish me offgrin

beanzmum Wed 10-Apr-13 07:46:22

Most nights for me have been pretty good, last night being an exception. Think I scraped together a cumulative 5hrs sleep with no more than 1.5hrs at a time. My MIL arrives tonight (from Aus) & I'm finding it hard to be enthusiastic at the prospect of her being here for 3.5wks. Hopefully that's just the fatigue talking ...

Dirtymistress Wed 10-Apr-13 08:27:58

3.5 weeks?! Beanz you're a saint. Unless of course she's actually helpful in which case could you send her my way?!

SayCoolNowSayWhip Wed 10-Apr-13 09:06:33

Ok so 5 hours sleep would be amazing for me. I'm getting 3 max in increments of about 45 mins. confused

What's really pissing me off is that DH basically gets nights off - DD is asleep 7-7 and he can't bf, so he gets to sleep the whole fucking night while I'm up feeding DS. And yet in the mornings he's all bleary eyed and yawning and complaining he's tired. I might punch him.

I am not in a good place today.

I hate bfing. DS is not latching on at all well and while he bobs on and off and screams and turns his head away, my milk squirts everywhere and soaks me, him, the bed, everything. Everything smells of sour milk. It still hurts when he's feeding. It's not magical or close, it's just fucking annoying. I hate my massive floppy breasts that don't fit in his mouth. I hate the fact that I have super fast let down which means DS chokes and gasps and gets even windier.


num3onway Wed 10-Apr-13 09:23:31

A bad night here too, although the first out of 8 we have had so far so I cannot complain too much as some of you seen to have it far worse! Dd was awake from 12 til 3.30 during which she had 2 dirty bums, 4 oz of milk and was sick on me and my bed! She took another oz and fell asleep until 6. Had another 3 oz and a wet nappy and was asleep again by 7. Still sleeping now.
Saycool I hope you don't mind my saying but you sound quite down about bf, have you spoken to mw or anyone? I just wonder if its worth it if its such a struggle? I know breast milk is best for baby and ill probably get jumped on for saying I ff through choice but I wouldn't wanna put myself through that if it made my time with lo so frustrating. These days formula milks are so advanced and I've never had a problem, my elder two thrived well and so far dd is doing the same! Just a thought, hate to think of someone beating theirself up over it xx

Dirtymistress Wed 10-Apr-13 11:23:43

Aw saycool. You are normally the one cheering everyone else up. I agree with num, come over to the dark side where the bad, bottle feeding mamas reside grin my DP is also driving me nuts. I am so angry with him for the most irrational things. Mostly because the bastard keeps walking out the door at 7am to go to workgrin despite me begging him not to. Don't what is up with me. Not normally so needy.

PickledInAPearTree Wed 10-Apr-13 12:38:28

Say cool that's rubbish. I have to be honest I felt the same at that point, I still am not loving breastfeeding but its got loads better.

I got told a technique for breastfeeding lying down and it's meant a few more zzzzz and ds lies in the crook of my arm.

If your still wanting to carry on could you express and use bottles here and there to make life a bit easier?

And your other half could do a night feed - you need some rest.

RubyrooUK Wed 10-Apr-13 13:20:42

So sorry you are having a shitty time SayCool.

Sleep deprivation is fucking awful. My DH is awake in the night too as he winds DS2 for me after I feed him. He also changes DS2. I am crap at winding and I am so so so tired that I need him to do this to survive. Once DS2 is a bit bigger and can wind himself, we can co-sleep and then DH will get more shut eye as only I will be required to wake up. Despite the fact that DH is not a dick and shares the burden, I shouted at him the other morning as he got to go and sleep in bed with DS1, thereby getting some time off winding/feeding/changing DS2. You know you're mental when you say the words:

"It's so unfair, all you had to do last night was cuddle DS1 back to sleep three or four times and then you got to go to work! You are being SO selfish!!!!"

Um, whoops.

Re: breastfeeding. Is that just how you feel today or all the time? You have had a tough time with the tongue tie and so on, so it hasn't been the easiest bf experience so far.

I can sympathise as I feel the same way sometimes. My top has milk stains, my jeans smell a bit of puke and I spent five hours feeding DS2 last night who had a mega cluster feed after I put DS1 to bed. I told DH to take DS2 away and rock him to sleep in the end as my nipples were raw.

But the rest of the time, I am happy breastfeeding. I'm lucky that DS2 has gained weight extremely well (no bloody wonder, given his 22 feeds yesterday!!!). And I know this is the most intense time in terms of feeds as I've been here before with DS1. I also like the convenience of no bottles (I am lazy) and the comfort factor when DCs are ill. So I can ride out the bad times with this in mind and some heavy swearing.

But if it isn't just an exhausted moment and you really do hate it, do talk to a midwife/La Leche League if you want to carry on breastfeeding and need some support. And if you don't want to carry on, well, the most important thing is for you to retain your sanity! If one way of feeding makes you miserable, you don't have to do it. It is after all, just a way of eating and not worth being truly miserable about.

Big hugs. X

ZuleikaD Wed 10-Apr-13 14:04:35

Oh SayCool it sounds like you're having a rotten stretch. Can you swathe everything in towels before you start feeding (muslins are totally inadequate IMO) so at least you can just sweep anything milk-soaked out of the way? Also, if DS isn't latching well yet, don't be afraid to pump a bottle for him (especially if you get a four-hour sleep like you did yesterday and your milk's had a chance to build up) and use that occasionally - he'll find it easier to take milk from a bottle and get a full feed and give you a rest. The likelihood of nipple confusion is vastly overrated. I have a friend who loathed bf-ing the second time around - so every day she told herself 'just one more day of this'. And kept that up for six months. Sometimes if you give yourself permission to stop, it's easier to carry on.

Feeding leaning back can also help with the superfast let-down. I agree breastfeeding isn't magical - I've never understood the 'spiritual experience' type feeling some people get. It's just food - I like it/do it because I find it the most practical solution.

And tell your DH from all of us here that He Has No Idea What TIRED Is!

ZuleikaD Wed 10-Apr-13 14:06:03

Also I'm very impressed at everyone who does middle-of-the-night nappy-changes. I have to confess I never bother!

num3onway Wed 10-Apr-13 14:21:22

How do you escape night time changes? Dd does between 6 and 10 soiled nappies in 24 hours lol! One night last week she did 7 just between 10pm and 8am!

RubyrooUK Wed 10-Apr-13 14:27:00

Ah it's only the really explosive stinky nappies that go all over the babygro that we change, Zuleika! They tend to wake up DS2 and make his bum sore. I wouldn't bother with changing wet nappies....but sadly he still does a couple of the nuclear poos each night at the moment. grin

SayCoolNowSayWhip Wed 10-Apr-13 15:07:04

Sorry about the whinge, all, and thanks for the support. Not sure if I'm just having a moment or not.... I told myself at the beginning that I would do at least 2 weeks, and then no pressure for anything more. I don't want to express yet as I already have an oversupply with this fast letdown so am engorged a lot - if I express then my supply will shoot up even more. It's what I did last time and I was in sooooo much pain with my rock hard boobs.

Anyway, sorry again for the whinge. I have eaten an entire Easter egg and feeling a bit better!

Hope we all have some better nights. Dirty, hope your cough is better soon.

PickledInAPearTree Wed 10-Apr-13 15:10:14

I was aiming to get to 6 weeks and I've made 7. I had to ff ds1 and I suppose it's what I'm used to so I'm always tempted.

beanzmum Wed 10-Apr-13 17:53:06

Dirty, am not sure if I'm a saint or insane for agreeing that MIL come for so long. It was originally going to be 10 days then somehow morphed into 3.5wks for reasons I couldn't really object to. I'm hoping she'll be super helpful with DD - especially n the mornings & evenings. From experience 1st time around she's really hesitant with babies.

It will be great for DD to get to spend so much time with her grandmother though & for them to get to know each other better.

Saycool, so sorry you had such a rubbish night. I hope today has been good & tonight is much better all round flowers

twinklesparkles Wed 10-Apr-13 18:02:57

Hugs for those going through a bad time flowers

Midwife came today good thing the place was clean I had no bloody idea, I forgot baby twinkles has gained weight :D so the formulas definitely working. So glad. I was worried she had lost again or stayed at the low weight. Phew grin

Breastfeeding not going good, she's had so many bottles think she can't be bothered to suck on the boob anymore. sad fed her once today successfully, 20 min on boob. The other times she's just sucked for a second and spat out and screamed so loud until I gave up and gave her the bottle sad

SayCoolNowSayWhip Wed 10-Apr-13 19:37:25

Twinkles that's great that your lo has put on weight. I wouldn't worry about the bottles - clearly it's what she needs.

I have turned to the magic of dummies... DS had serious wind pain this evening and I remember with my DD that sucking really helped. So popped the dummy in and instantly the screaming stopped. He is now snoring on my lap. smile

Still undecided about feeding.... As well as the latching issues his wind is getting worse and I'm sure it's my gassy breast milk - too much foremilk and not enough hind. But formula might make him just as windy....

Taking him to cranial osteopath tomorrow to see if that helps.

DeathMetalMum Wed 10-Apr-13 20:14:46

Hey everyone, ditto to hugs for everyone having a bad time.

We have had our ups and downs the past few days. The dinner/bed time is certinly interesting, we have had two bad, one okay. Dd2 slept nearly 7 hours straight last night! After feeding all afternoon though she went to sleep before dd1 and I woke up in the night an hour before her with exploding breasts so didn't get any more sleep than usual. We also went to clinic today and have had the first good weight gain, so my niggles over bf have gone.

I have fast letdown/ oversupply and find feeding in bed very reclined the best for us I can hear far less wind going down this way.

RubyrooUK Thu 11-Apr-13 08:25:52

My tip for today: don't eat very spicy chickpea and spinach curry if you're breastfeeding. grin

<puts on another washing load of poo-stained babygros>

DS2 was also up in the night with very bad wind as well as his usual zillion feeds. Am totally knackered.

Hoping to go back to sleep for a bit as DS1 is at nursery today but have my mum and stepdad leaving in a couple of hours (they were here last night) as my dad and his girlfriend are visiting for two days.

Although the ongoing grandparent visiting rotation is very entertaining for DS1, I am hoping my dad (useless at anything practical) will be more helpful than on previous visits. Otherwise he may not make it home alive. grin

Boring life update over and out!

RubyrooUK Thu 11-Apr-13 16:14:23

Also, is anyone else on this thread a working (out of home) mum normally? I am finding the change of pace of maternity leave quite hard to adjust to.

It's not the childcare aspect. I am really enjoying having more time with DS1 - although it's hard work - and happy feeding/cuddling DS2 ever two minutes. I love the kids and entertaining them (except obviously for toddler whining, but that comes with the territory grin).

I suppose I just find it hard that sometimes my main goal for a day is achieving three loads of washing and making it outside at all. I feel a bit cooped up staying inside and I don't really enjoy cooking/cleaning at all (ironically DH really does). I miss adult conversation.

I suppose that normally DH and I share all the chores because we both work. So it doesn't feel like my whole life. And when on maternity leave with DS1, I had an NCT group to meet up with almost every day, so it felt very social, fun and less domestic. This time, I haven't yet developed a baby-related social life as it's early days but I seem to be very impatient!!!!

It's not that I really miss work itself or want to go back early or anything. I'm just finding it a very big readjustment of my expectations. (And I am tired and grumpy so seeing the worst in everything.)

Anyone else feel similar? If not, tell me good tips for keeping a house running and not getting bogged down by it all. Or is that too much to expect with a toddler and newborn? grin

Whereisthesnow Thu 11-Apr-13 17:43:39

Ruby yes I work normally albeit 4 days a week and one at home generally. Are your Nct group not about anymore? Mine are generally on second babies. One girl had dc2 same time as me, we have found a group of new mums through local Nct boards to hang with also. Anything like that in your area or mn local groups?
Think I'm appreciating being at home but I can see I will eventually want to go back (planning on returning in December) . I know what you mean about not achieving much. We've stopped having a cleaner to try and save money so house feels like tip. I have no magic tips on that front although have started leaving packs of wipes in bathrooms to go over quickly when needed. Big jobs like hoovering - I guess I'll be able to dothat when ds2 doesn't need tone attached to boob so much!

Dirtymistress Thu 11-Apr-13 19:53:33

Ruby I work 3 days a week and I miss it! I have done my job for a long time and love that I know exactly what I'm doing, as opposed to parenting where I have absolutely no ideagrin plus I negotiated my way into a branch just five minutes from my house after ds1 so I get a whole hour alone in my home 3 times a week which is bliss. Roll on 3rd January!

beanzmum Thu 11-Apr-13 21:57:01

I'm usually an AH mum - was made redundant a few weeks before I was due to start maternity leave with DD at the beginning of 2010 (company closed the department I was working in) and so although I was seriously contemplating not going back from mat leave, my choice in that was erased.

Anyway, I'm lucky that I've really enjoyed being AH with DD and had a good nct group to boot. Prior to now though I never really considered myself 'homemaker' material.

I guess I try & keep on top of the chores, etc by trying to get things done as I go. And getting DD to tidy up after herself! Oddly enough she's become fairly proprietorial about tidying up 'her mess' grin

In terms of getting out & being social - there's the girls from my nct group from 1st time around, and now DD is at nursery I'm making an effort to get to know the other mums & to organise playdates with DD's nursery friends. Fortunately DD seems to be pretty good at making friends, and their mums are all good value company grin. Could be so much worse now that we're in the phase of life where our kids start choosing our friends for us!

RubyrooUK Fri 12-Apr-13 20:45:13

Thanks Where, Dirty and Beanz!

I managed to make it out to the shop (ten minutes walk away) today with DS2 alone by leaving DS1 with my visiting dad and his girlfriend, who were forced to watch Disney DVDs on repeat. The 20 minutes away from juggling toddler/baby needs gave me a bit of sanity back.

And now it's the weekend and DH is around too. Hurrah.

Radiator1234 Sat 13-Apr-13 13:58:39

How is everyone doing?

DD was 1 month on Thursday. I'm pretty tired.

SayCool has the feeding got any better? I am not enjoying it so much this time either. After the mastitis I now worry we have thrush, or if we don't, it certainly hurts my nipple when I feed from the left boob. Plus she often cries and fusses at the breast.

Sleeping not going too badly-some v promising signs. On Monday she did 7-7 with only one wake up at 3am! I thought all my Christmases had come at once, but it's not yet been repeated... I am exhausted though from having to get up in the morning with DD1. I keep falling asleep sitting up in bed while feeding the baby at night. Not ideal.

Ruby yes I work (when not on mat leave) 4 days a week I've tried to stay in touch with my colleagues - went and met a few of them last week. Nice to talk about work and not babies (you get all consumed by baby talk don't you). I too haven't got much of a baby related social life yet and am impatient. Last time we did .nCT and I had a nice group of friends/ support network, now we have moved 80miles away so don't know many other mums. Went to the local NCT baby group the other week on my own and found it pretty cliquey.

I don't enjoy cooking or cleaning either so my tips would be to get a cleaner and do some meal planning. I am the most disorganised person going but had a go at planning all the meals for the week the other week and it did seem to make life easier. If your other half loves cooking/ cleaning get him to help!!

ZuleikaD Sat 13-Apr-13 15:13:20

DS is 9 days old now. It seems impossibly difficult to try and get the tongue-tie sorted, given that it's such a simple procedure. A three-week waiting list or more at the hospital and only one other person in Oxfordshire who does it! He is feeding ok, though, with lots of patience and persistence (and not a small amount of painful nipple action) - he's putting on weight. The sleeping's fairly nightmarish because he can only feed for about three minutes at a time before getting tired, and then wakes up again 20 minutes later for another go. Fine during the day, less good at 3am. Not looking forward to the next three weeks.

DH back to work on Tuesday, and not really looking forward to triple-wrangling.

Radiator1234 Sat 13-Apr-13 18:38:02

What a nightmare ZuleikaD :-(

SayCoolNowSayWhip Sun 14-Apr-13 07:38:28

Hi all,

Zuleika that sounds awful sad Did I give you the website to find a private TT snipper? (sorry can't link on my phone). Really hope you get something sorted soon.

Our feeding is getting there. Had some rough times last week and DS's tongue didn't seem to be healing. It was all yellow and gunky and he was still having major problems latching - it must have been so sore! Went to the GP 2 days running and on the second day she gave us some ABs as she thought it was looking worse. It cleared up within 2 doses of the ABs! Was really worried about giving antibiotics when he's so young, but was definitely the right thing to do.

Anyway he's on his last day of ABs today and his feeding and latching is sooo much better. He's draining a breast in about 10 minutes! (We've just hit the 2 week growth spurt so he's on the boob all the time but that's fine.... grin)

Ref the working thing, I felt a lot like that with DD - I missed going out and 'having a life' and didn't want to be stuck being a housewife. I was glad to get back to work! However this time round I'm much more relaxed in terms of my expectations and how my days go. I'm happier being a housewife - plus I don't much enjoy my current job. If I was doing something I really enjoy then things might be different. Also I have more friends with babies / toddlers which makes it easier.
Sorry this is really long!
Hope you are all well and ready to enjoy the hottest day of the year so far! <puts on sunglasses>

ZuleikaD Sun 14-Apr-13 10:35:30

SayCool thank you so much - I'll check that out (I asked if we could have it done privately at the hospital but they were very sniffy!).

SO pleased your DS is doing better and feeding so well - sounds like he's making up for lost time! Really glad his latch is sorted. Huge props to you for persevering because you had a really grim few days with it. flowers

TheCountessOlenska Sun 14-Apr-13 16:43:07

Don't seem to get on here much!

Saycool (is this Family Guy btw?) glad to hear things are improving smile

Ruby I left my job after DD due to a relocation with DH's job but I found that after a year I was keen to do something outside the home - I was worried my confidence to get "out there" would go iyswim - so I got a 2 day a week job, not a "career" job but I still think (for me) it has been very valuable in terms of my confidence and mental agility! I miss it at the moment - I'm on mat leave for a year but don't think I will be able to continue as no childcare (DM was very very kindly doing it but she works in the evenings and I think it was getting too much for her - I can't dump two kids on her for 2 days a week basically!)

DS 5 weeks tomorrow - doing A LOT of cluster feeding morning and evenings - sleeping 5 hour, then 4 hour blocks at night (but co-sleeping which is not ideal). I'm feeling less tired and 3 year old DD settling down now (we had a difficult first 3 weeks!) - so all good! I still seem to shout / stress out a bit at least once a day but I think that's probably normal?!!

num3onway Sun 14-Apr-13 17:04:49

Most days I have a stressful moment or two, and have shouted more than I like too. Broken sleep is partly to blame I think.

Whereisthesnow Sun 14-Apr-13 17:32:50

Yes I have ended up snapping/shouting at ds1 a lot recently - think its mandatory with new baby + toddler + sleep deprivation + hormones wink

TheCountessOlenska Sun 14-Apr-13 17:48:57

I feel awful about it when I do, my poor pfb sad

I have introduced the concept of "timeout" in the last few weeks for the first time which works a hell of a lot better than yelling (who knew?? blush ). So I just need to remember to calmly implement it when needed - she gets a few minutes to calm down, and so do I!!

num3onway Sun 14-Apr-13 19:46:31

Sadly most days at least once a day the time out spot is visited by one of my ds's (3+5 yrs)
Their thing atm is to wait until I leave the room and then start running round screaming and toy fighting but very roughly, I come bk and speak to them and they stop, as soon as I leave room they're at it again!

RubyrooUK Sun 14-Apr-13 20:48:23

Sorry to hear about the tongue tie Zuleika. That sounds so frustrating. But I am glad things are improving for you with feeding, SayCool.

My DH is off tonight until Weds night to Italy for a work trip. Lucky, lucky fucker. (He is pretending very hard that he isn't looking forward to meals out in nice restaurants, visits to interesting historic places when not working and engaging adult company.) I am DREADING the nights without him.

My mum is staying and we will get by ok in the days. But DS1 will go nuts if it's not me or DH coming into him in the nights, so I am predicting much broken sleep and over the next few days. And DS2 just wakes up for feeds/winding all the time at the moment. Fathers of four week old babies should definitely be banned from work trips.

<weeps a bit>

RubyrooUK Sun 14-Apr-13 20:52:54

Oh Num3, my DS1 (two and a half) put both me and DS2 in time out this morning. shock

I told him off for climbing on his lego box, saying "please get down NOW, DS1, as you might hurt yourself" and he said "no mummy, I don't get down. You and baby go straight to time out."

I'm not sure he quite has the concept of time out and who is in charge....grin

num3onway Sun 14-Apr-13 21:07:04

Haha! Last week ds2 told me to take dd somewhere else because he was watching cbeebees and she was annoying him. Rude!

Radiator1234 Mon 15-Apr-13 03:24:00

Hi rubyroo we have had pretty much exactly the same in my house! funny isn't it! DD1 sitting on the Lego box and wanting to put DD2 in the corner (aka time out!)

SayCoolNowSayWhip Mon 15-Apr-13 07:15:53

That's hilarious! We haven't introduced time out to DD yet but I expect she would attempt to put us in time out!

In the midst of 2 week growth spurt... Groan.... Might have got an hours sleep last night. DH had the audacity to be tired and grumpy this morning, snapping at DD etc, until I gently passive aggressively reminded him that he gets nights off and I don't. In fact he should have been on DD last night, but he didn't hear when she woke crying so I was in with her as well. Grrrr. He is lovely, I'm just having a moan.

Where's all the nice weather we were promised??!!

RubyrooUK Mon 15-Apr-13 07:17:00

Hahaha...clearly the Lego box/Time out situation is a crucial child development stage and not just my DS being cheeky. grin

Radiator1234 Mon 15-Apr-13 07:34:02

Poor SayCool. Growth spurts are a challenge!

Rubyroo this made me lol.

One thing that my DD1 has done a few times is taken herself to time out voluntarily when dd2 is crying/when I am dealing with dd2. Ie dd1 hasn't even been naughty. That's a weird one, because when we try and get her out of time out she doesn't want to come out. We just try and give her lots of cuddles. Guess it's an attention seeking thing.

But overall dd1 defo been more naughty!

num3onway Mon 15-Apr-13 10:43:12

How did everyone get on with school run? Ours went smoothly! Much better than I expected anyway!

TheCountessOlenska Mon 15-Apr-13 11:08:08

No school run yet num3, DD will start pre-school in September, but we did make it to our 9am toddler music group - which I was quite impressed by grin - proving we CAN all be dressed before midday if we try!

How old are yours?

num3onway Mon 15-Apr-13 11:34:44

Lol countess! I had begun to wonder if I could even get myself dressed by midday!
My three are 5, nearly 4 and 13 days. Only 5 year old in school for now but house is much calmer without two boys bouncing off each other and winding each other (and me) up!

ZuleikaD Mon 15-Apr-13 11:46:54

DH had his last paternity leave day today, so he did the school run. My turn tomorrow (and hereafter, of course). Getting myself and 3 children out of the house by 8.30 is not an attractive proposition.

num3onway Mon 15-Apr-13 11:50:26

I didn't manage to drag myself out of bed til 8.10 yet we got to school for 8.55! Yay!

Dirtymistress Mon 15-Apr-13 20:47:44

I'm jealous. DP leaves at 7am and I have to be up, showered, dressed, made up, have house sorted and be ready to go or I will never manage it once he's gone. No school run for me but we are pretty much out before 9am most days, to toddler groups or swings or whatever. I am getting the hang of itgrin dirtybaby is 5 weeks old! Baby is easy as pie, it's the baby/18 month old combo that is so immensely hard. Nevermind, DP finally takes his second week of paternity next week. Hooraygrin

ZuleikaD Tue 16-Apr-13 06:15:49

Yeah, DH is out at 7am so I have to be in the shower by 6.30 or it ain't happening! He IS home at 5pm though, which is awesome.

num3onway Tue 16-Apr-13 16:49:54

See I'm a bath girl! I'd rather unwind in a nice bath in the evening than shower in the morning! My elder two pretty much get theirselves ready in the mornings with some promptings all I need to do is get myself ready, and see to dd

ZuleikaD Wed 17-Apr-13 07:18:04

SayCool thanks so much for that website - we've found someone locally who can come and do it at home. I checked her out with the health visitor who says she's awesome, so the tongue-tie's being done tomorrow yay!

How's everyone doing?

SayCoolNowSayWhip Wed 17-Apr-13 08:08:19

Yay! Brilliant Zuleika, I'm so glad they can do it quickly. Fingers crossed it helps with the feeding. If the lady is anything like the one I had, you'll be in very good hands. grin

We are all well, DS is just coming out of 2 week growth spurt. He had a stint of 2 and a half hours sleep last night! Amazing... Longest stretch I've had since he was born. He's also whacked on the weight. Had our discharge appointment with midwife yesterday and he was weighed in at 8lb 4oz! (Birth weight 6lb 14oz). Hungry chap!

Hope everyone is well smile

RubyrooUK Wed 17-Apr-13 08:35:27

Glad things are getting sorted Zuleika. And that is amazing news about your DS' weight, SayCool, especially since he had tongue tie! He's obviously well and truly making up for it.

My DH is home today. So so so so happy he will be back for tonight. If only he could learn to breastfeed, that would be truly useful.

DS1 has been amazing, even sleeping through last night. DS2 was awake for six hours feeding between 10pm and 7am, went through seven nappies and a quick vomit. He is five weeks today and I'm hoping this is a growth spurt........if he is just a crap sleeper and frequent breastfeeder like his brother, I might as well look into shares in Botox.

twinklesparkles Wed 17-Apr-13 09:57:07

I've completely fallen behind with this thread like everything else in life lol

My dd is 2 weeks today, met the health visitor yesterday. She came to do the primary visit. No more home visits now just have to attend baby clinic for weighings.

So glad my dd has gained back all the weight she lost, except for 1oz smile so pleased, it was such a big loss (12oz) totally freaked me out.

Shopping for nappies again later.... How does such a little thing produce so much poo? I started using a dr browns bottle yesterday, and must admit I've noticed the difference in dd already, a lot less windy after feeds. So ill prob but another later, I've only got the one bottle have been washing it and sterilising it each time. It would be good to get another one.

Is anyone going to try and concieve for another dc close to their newborn?

Dirtymistress Wed 17-Apr-13 10:14:13

I already did twinklewink hence the 17 month gap! We started trying for the second one week after ds1 was born but it took 8 months. Nuts! This small a gap is hard work. If I do decide to try for number 3, it won't be till ds2 is at least 2.

ZuleikaD Wed 17-Apr-13 12:34:47

That's basically the way we did it, Dirty - got an 18m gap between DD and DS1, then DS2 is 2.5 years behind. The older two amuse themselves together a lot of the time now, it's great - it's been far easier than it was when DS1 was born (sounds like you've got that going on now!).

RubyrooUK Wed 17-Apr-13 13:59:22

No, Twinkle, no small age gap here. No no no no. I don't know if I would even want three children - the two boys might be perfect for us - but definitely would wait at least two years if I did.

But that is mainly because DS1 didn't sleep through once till he was over 18mo and still doesn't do so most of the time. He has just started getting easier to manage and is lots of fun, so I want to enjoy that.

I was really broody when DS1 was tiny as I loved him so so much that I wanted a big family. But after a few months of sleeping only in 45 minute bursts, that wore off!

I don't have any family nearby (my mum has to travel here from another country and inlaws are 3/4 hours away) and I find juggling full time work/babies is hard work and DH and I don't really get time together as a couple. That has also been hard at times.

But maybe I will change my mind if DS2 turns out to be an angel! grin

num3onway Thu 18-Apr-13 20:16:52

Quiet today! Everyone catching up on sleep?

Dd is now 16 days old and doing great! Taking 4-5 oz of formula every 3-4 hours, sometimes 5 hours during night.


Whereisthesnow Fri 19-Apr-13 06:20:59

Catching up on sleep - I wish!

Ds2 had very unsettled evening yesterday, conked out from 9 until 1, but since then every 45 mins ... Don't understand as he's a big boy so should be able to go longer I think. First day of me alone with both kids. Going to baby clinic for weigh in. Will have to try and not weep from tirrdness in front of health visitor

twinklesparkles Fri 19-Apr-13 08:43:21

God I wish dd would sleep for 5 hours... I'd be so lucky smile

She's started taking smaller feeds confused so she's taking 2-3 oz every 2/3 hours. She has been quite sicky a few times over the past 2 days, and she's always been a windy baby. Maybe its getting worse, turning colicky??

Has anyone ever tried the cow and gate sensitive milk?

num3onway Fri 19-Apr-13 09:58:45

I've no experience myself but a friend of mine was advised by hv to change her babies milk to normal aptamil and found it did the trick.
I have used aptamil myself for all three and never had a problem its a couple of quid dearer though!

twinklesparkles Fri 19-Apr-13 10:48:57

I used aptimil for ds but he was just too hungry for it, even the hungrier baby milk. Dd is less hungry than ds though, so it may be worth a try.

smile thanks num3 smile

twinklesparkles Fri 19-Apr-13 21:25:39

I got dd cow and gate comfort and dentinox colic drops

She's much better already, don't know which one has made her better, she's managed to have a poo, have plenty to eat, no sickness and she's even had a couple hours sleep smile excellent.

SayCoolNowSayWhip Sat 20-Apr-13 09:05:43

Hi all! Catching up on sleep?? Hahaha! Although last night wasn't too bad - DS seemed to be in a bit of a 3 hourly routine so I got a couple of 2 hour stretches of sleep. Makes all the difference!

Glad your DD is better twinkles - do you think the dentinox colic drops are better than infacol? DS is still getting very bad wind and gas but I remember that infacol made DD worse when she was a baby.

Zuleika, how did the TT snip go? Has there been any difference in feeding?

Hope everyone is enjoying the sun!

twinklesparkles Sat 20-Apr-13 11:15:17

Saycool, its deffo doing something good smile its quite thick and doesn't taste nice so you'll have to put it in the milk. Cheaper than infacol, I've not used infacol on dd yet. Used it with ds, don't remember it being that good. I'm sure it says on the infacol that it takes 2 weeks to work.... Bit pointless really. Haven't heard that many people have a good experience with infacol though...

It could be the milk also that's helping, its very thick, but she's managing to get it out of the bottle so thats good. Will get faster teats soon

SayCoolNowSayWhip Sun 21-Apr-13 10:05:42

<Sigh> Thought everything was going so well, but it's all gone downhill now. DS is screaming and crying after every feed now. In desperation, convinced that my crappy booby milk is the problem, gave him some formula last night and he slept for 3 and a half hours! (That's a long time for him btw...!) So I think I might, as Dirtymistress put it, go to the Dark Side.... Anyone have any ideas how you go about switching from breast to formula?

I'm upset about it because I really wanted to give bfing a good go, and have that whole nice magical bonding thing, but it's just not happening like that. He struggles at the breast, doesn't latch properly, milk squirts everywhere, he's screaming afterwards... It just doesn't seem right! Whereas he took the bottle of formula quite peacefully, I could stare into his eyes and smile, and he burped beautifully afterwards and went straight to sleep.

My boobs are massively leaking today, so not sure whether to express a little or just leave them....

Dirtymistress Sun 21-Apr-13 10:28:13

Hello all! Dirtybaby six weeks old today and DP now off for second week of paternity - thank god for that! We are alright, dirtybaby doesn't much like sleeping between the hours of 1-3am but it doesn't really bother me. He is struggling with reflux but given this is second time round for me I feel much more able to deal with it. Dirtytoddler still stroppy as hell about life in general but now very affectionate with his brother. Here's to having survived a trying few weeksgrin

twinklesparkles Sun 21-Apr-13 23:00:59

Saycool- I just left mine, didn't express at all.. They went hard but I went in the bath and they went squishy again grin I did leak everywhere though.... Especially when the baby cried sad made me feel so guilty. Wish I was still doing it now, but dd is a much happier baby on the bottle. So you do what's best for you and your baby flowers

Taking my dd to baby group for the first time tommorow and dh starts his new job smile should be a good day, not massively looking forward to getting back into the habit of the school run, especially with 2 kids and dh to get dressed in the morning. Dh has been doing all the school runs since dd was born, I only collected ds once in a week [embarassed].

Oh god, I just wanna stay in bed and sleep .. Yawn

num3onway Mon 22-Apr-13 02:05:00

Saycool, you sound to me like you have tried so hard to bf but it really Doesn't sound like a nice experience for you. I do think switching to the 'dark side' might be a good idea.

Sat here feeding dd, she had 4oz at 10, just over 4 now. Hopefully now sleep til 4ish and then 7/8ish!

Just need get her back in the basket!

Hope everyones having a good night x

SayCoolNowSayWhip Mon 22-Apr-13 02:43:01

Been so much better and easier today with bottles. Expressed some so DS isn't totally overwhelmed by so much formula all at once. Thanks for your support ladies!

Twinkles hope you managed to get some sleep. Don't feel bad about your DH doing the school run - it's what they're there for! grin

Dirty I can't believe Dirtybaby is 6 weeks already! Wow.

<waves at Num3 doing the 2am feed>

num3onway Mon 22-Apr-13 05:46:31

Saycool good to hear you had an easier day!

Its 5.45ish and we are feeding again, also hsve ds2 in my bed as he had a bad dream.

Whereisthesnow Mon 22-Apr-13 23:37:33

Glad to hear its going better saycool.
Blah, I have got mastitis. Wasn't sure whether to go to gp today but really glad I did for antibiotics as main symptoms of flueyness came on very suddenly tonight - make sure you all go to gp right away if you suspect it!

SayCoolNowSayWhip Tue 23-Apr-13 02:56:42

Oh no, Whereisthesnow sad Hope it clears up very soon. Poor you. Hope you don't feel too rubbish with it.

DS has just done his millionth fifth poo of the night. confused Bowels like his father.....

RubyrooUK Tue 23-Apr-13 08:38:22

Oh bummer Whereisthesnow. I got mastitis with DS1 and it is so nasty. Hope the antibiotics knock it on the head quickly.

Had my first day totally alone with the two boys yesterday. Up till now we have had visitors/family/friends dropping in whenever DS1 is not at nursery.

It was fine. We left the house twice (I had to bribe DS1 with Rich Tea biscuits to use his legs) and watched far too much telly. But we all survived!

Now I am busy feeding DS2, who woke up every hour from 2am last night as he has a cold and had to sleep on DH's chest the whole time.

Question to anyone who had a c section - my scar has swelled up again after 6 weeks. I think I overdid it picking up DS1 on Saturday after he fell off a chair. Should I go to the doctor? Or will it go down? Doesn't look infected but worried in case I have done some damage....

RubyrooUK Tue 23-Apr-13 16:45:44

....and so DS2 and I both return from the doctors with antibiotics. I may have a c section scar infection - AGAIN - and DS has a nasty rash that hasn't cleared up and looks a bit "pus-y" according to the doctor.

We are such an attractive family right now. grin

twinklesparkles Wed 24-Apr-13 18:41:23

Hope you and your dc's are well rubyroo

I've also just come back from the drs with ds.. He's on penicillin. He either has chicken pox or he has an infected year and then rubbed his stomach and the rash has spread.

Dd went to baby clinic today, is now 9lbs exactly smile and on 75th percentile. She's 3 weeks today. Hope she doesn't get the pox if ds does indeed have it sad

RubyrooUK Wed 24-Apr-13 21:45:54

Oh bummer Twinkles. Your poor DS.

Hopefully your baby won't get it. DS2 was exposed to chicken pox three weeks ago when he was enthusiastically kissed by a snotty toddler who came out in CP the next day. He seems fine apart from,
er, his rash....but that doesn't resemble CP at all. So I think he has escaped it this time and will get a bit older before it hits him.

So fingers crossed your DD will be ok. Glad to hear she is gaining weight needed some good news!!! smile

Whereisthesnow Thu 25-Apr-13 03:03:21

Oh dear ruby and twinkles hope you and your wee ones feel better soon.

My antibiotics are kicking in at last. Not before getting horrid ear pain. How can an infected boob lead to a sore ear?! Plus it's made night sweats return with a vengeance - woke up earlier and it was so bad I thought I'd wet myself!

Pontouf Thu 25-Apr-13 20:08:56

Hello all, I finally made it over here - was a bit of a latecomer to the Pregnancy thread and then went 11 days over with DD.

Birth was pretty hideous. Went from 0 - contractions 2 minutes apart within two hours. By the time I'd called the hospital and had a quick shower they were at 1 minute 30 and lasting 30 seconds. Arrived at hospital to discover I was 1cm! Oh God, the disappointment! Anyway they broke my waters and over the next 14 hours I managed to get to 8cm at which point I asked for an epidural because I was exhausted and in agony. Then I stopped progressing. Consultant said the baby was a bit stuck and said she was recommending a c-section, but not an urgent urgent one. Then she left the room and DH left to go and get chnged and suddenly everything went to shit. DD's heart rate was dropping to 60ish and then just not recovering so I was rushed to theatre very quickly.

The epidural was only working down one side at that point so they topped it up and hoped for the best. It wasn't great and I ended up having G&A in theatre during the op because I could feel a lot of what was going on. I then went into shock a little bit and got uncontrollable shakes on the table. Anyway in the end DD was born on the 17/4/13 weighing 7lb 12oz and is utterly perfect. I can't believe how much I love her!

The aftermath has also been a bit crap. I have had major problems BFing due to totally flat nipples blush so found it nigh on impossible to get a good latch and DD has shredded my nips to ribbons. I persevered for 5 days, despite having bitten a hole in the inside of my top lip trying not to scream every time she latched on. On day 5 I tried nipple shields which did not help really - they wouldn't really stay on. Then I ended up expressing milk instead and cup feeding. This helped for a bit but have ended up mixed feeding so she's having EBM for about half her feeds and formula for half which is working for us at the moment.

I was very very upset about not being able to BF, especially as I had managed with DS but as I have also had a wound infection causing flu like symptoms and horrendous abdo pain, and have a toddler who has decided that he doesn't want to sleep through the night either, it was just one battle too many!

DD is 8 days old today and things are gradually getting easier. Am dreading DH going back to work though as I have no family support around at all. Will just have to be super organised I think confused. Lovely to read everyone else's experiences, congrats to all on their growing little bundles smile

Dirtymistress Fri 26-Apr-13 06:33:01

Oh pontouf you poor thing, that sounds absolutely hideous and not what you would expect from a second birth. I really feel for you, it's hard enough as it is trying to juggle newborn and toddler without physically feeling rubbish. I hope things get better quickly.
I am on antibiotics now for my horrible cough. I have had it for nearly six weekshmm it stops me sleeping even when dirtybaby and dirtytoddler are snoring. Hopefully the pills will clear it up.

Dirtymistress Fri 26-Apr-13 06:34:59

What's your age gap pontouf? I have no family nearby either. It is tough. Yes, yes to be super organised.grin

Pontouf Fri 26-Apr-13 06:53:53

Hi Dirty, DS is 2.6. He has slept through pretty much since he was 4 months old so am fairly certain this is an attention/jealousy issue. He has taken to his new baby sister really well generally, keeps stroking and kissing her etc, but there are moments (usually when she's screaming) that he is clearly a bit pissed off at her presence! What's your age gap?

With regards to it being a second birth, it was an attempted (hollow laugh) VBAC, DS was born by elective c-section due to being breech, so first attempt at a vaginal birth. It's funny, it wasn't till I wrote it all down that I realised just how shit it had been!

Poor you with your bad cough. I can't imagine anything worse than having everyone else finally asleep all at the same time and still not being able to get some shut-eye! Those first few seconds as you drift off after a 3am feed are utter utter bliss!

Dirtymistress Fri 26-Apr-13 08:11:36

My age gap is a crazy 17 monthsgrin I do not recommend!

RubyrooUK Sat 27-Apr-13 14:56:50

Hi Pontouf! Welcome and congratulations on your baby!

Today DS1 is ill. He has a fever and is watching back-to-back DVDs and has only just eaten for the first time...a biscuit. Argh. He is highly pathetic and prone to weeping because he can't find the owl in a particular DVD that doesn't feature an owl.

DS2 is still on antibiotics for his rash which aren't doing anything apart from making him vomit up feeds. I am going to give up and phone the doctor on Monday. He also has a cold and is constantly snotty.

I am considering barricading myself into a health spa and leaving them all to become an international pop star with a massage therapist on call, no cellulite and my team of nannies dealing with these smelly, messy, ill children.

birdofthenorth Fri 10-May-13 15:13:19

Hello all, can I join in?

I have DD aged 2.8 and new DS who
is four weeks (born 11th April). DH works away 2-4 nights a week -this week was his first back after 3 weeks paternity leave & chaos has well and truly descended!

DD is being pretty good with DS except during her bedtime routine and first thing in the morning when she is a needy monster... she has also regressed to having disturbed nights, usually just as I've got DS off -argh! She is also still in the midst of potty training so I am having to leap up during breastfeeds to get her to the nearest loo!

DS is not a bad baby but has a bit of reflux (megavoms after most feeds) which is starting to cause him more discomfort and make him grouchier and sometimes un-put-downable).

Oh, and I have two large dogs to manage too. And as I'm self-employed work is still rearing it's ugly head when I least need it!

My ambition for each day is no more than survival at the moment so I very much need a thread where I can rant and sob!!!

yogafan Tue 21-May-13 07:42:07

Hi birdofthenorth - hope things are going ok and you're managing to survive each day. I don't really belong on this thread (I am preg and expecting the same gap between DC2 and my DD as you have between yours) - I've just been reading this thread to prepare (and totally freak myself out! Just wanted to offer done support and let you know what a friend if mine does at bedtime, in case it helps you. She bathes them together, puts baby in a bouncy chair while reading to and settling the oldest one (baby sometimes cries, think they ignore but speed up bedtime - oldest is generally pleased to have the noisy babe our the room at this point) then mum pours herself a glass of wine, gets into bed with baby and feeds /settles for the night. Good luck with it all, it sounds incredibly tough. But the main message I have picked up is to have low expectations and just survive (as you already know) and that it gets easier / which you also already know but hopefully you'll start seeing soon. All the best x

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