Is it just me, or is 16 to 18 months-ish a really difficult age?

(48 Posts)
Bumpsadaisie Wed 13-Mar-13 10:54:15

My son is nearly 17 months, lovely, very cute, very funny and learning stuff all the time. But goodness I am finding it hard at the mo. His sleep is awful. He is having loads of bumps and tumbles as he insists on throwing himself around the place. He is into everything. He thinks hitting his sister and us in the face is a funny game. He is getting much more anxious about separating from me than he used to - even though its only his doting grandparents that he goes to two days a week (and has done for 8 months now, and loves them to bits).

I don't remember it being like this with DD, but maybe I have blanked it out, I can't remember much about it really!

Anyone else in the same boat? And is there anyone with say a 20/22 month old who can reassure me that in a few months it will be MUCH MUCH BETTER??!! smile

Thanks all
love Bumps x

2monkeybums Wed 13-Mar-13 11:11:12

Ds2 who is 17 months is exactly the same. Ds1 is 22 months and he continued to be hard work until very recently, it was the start of his terrible two's! I am hoping they wont be so terrible this time!

2monkeybums Wed 13-Mar-13 11:12:00

Sorry Ds2 is not 22 months, he is nearly 3!

2monkeybums Wed 13-Mar-13 11:13:12

Ds1 not Ds2, im going now

Bumpsadaisie Wed 13-Mar-13 11:16:52

Don't apologise Monkey. I know you are too knackered to think straight if your DS2 is like my DS smile.

Had such an awful night last night. He was up at 11, 3 and then 6. To add to the mix, at 4am, just to shake things up a bit, his sister (3.9) vomited all over herself, pyjamas and bed - necessitating full shower etc.

DH is away all week too. Sob!

I'll stop offloading now.

HorribleMother Wed 13-Mar-13 11:22:17

You must be shattered. Look after yourself. smile

Ellen7 Wed 13-Mar-13 11:25:32

Hi bumps

My dd is 20 months and to be honest I find it a bit of a struggle sometimes in the same way. She's quite a good sleeper but throws tantrums every five minutes over anything throwing herself around and I've always got bruises with all the constant playful rough and tumble she does. For me it's a question of keeping her as occupied as i can and calm. She is quite clingy also. Attempting to settle her into a nursery which is interesting :-)

Doesn't help with your question but maybe others would have more experience on dealing with it


minicc Wed 13-Mar-13 11:26:23

I thought it was just me! My daughter is 16 months and she is totally gorgeous and I enjoy her much more than I did when she was tiny (I had a really rough year!) BUT when she throws a wobbler, cuts teeth or throws herself of the sofa it is just horrid. This too shall pass.....confused

SolomanDaisy Wed 13-Mar-13 11:28:16

I have a 20 month old, it is SO much easier than 12-18 months. He falls over much less, he understands so much more, he can tell me things, he is pretty much over the hitting/scratching/biting (for now). He has always been the cutest, loveliest thing but the falling over, touching everything phase was exhausting!

Bumpsadaisie Wed 13-Mar-13 11:31:16

Thanks everyone. I am encouraged!

forevergreek Wed 13-Mar-13 11:31:18

I find 18-24 months the worst. They can't communicate properly and get frustrated, and also want to do ' grown up' stuff more ( walk instead of buggy, try and fail getting dressed etc)

We seem to have missed the terrible twos with eldest, and youngest is within the 18-24 group. Seems to be getting out of it the nearer to 2 he gets though

Alibabaandthe40nappies Wed 13-Mar-13 11:34:38

It is a tough patch, definitely. And then they hit the terrible twos and you get all the tantrums!

Pamsie Wed 13-Mar-13 11:37:32

I'm glad I'm not the only one. My DD is 17 months and not walking properly yet, but that does not stop her from finding the most awkward places to get stuck. She is a good sleeper though, so can't complain on that front. But the tantrums, hitting and just being clingy is knackering.
But I still miss her when she is having a nap or sleeping. confused grin

forevergreek Wed 13-Mar-13 11:39:12

Ps we found allowing/ encouraging independence has helped avoid the terrible twos.

Also easy rules they understand. So for example we have you need to eat at least half dinner to get desert. ( yogurt) if they want to eat one spoon and leave we wouldn't fuss but they understand nothing else so don't seem to argue it.

enormouse Wed 13-Mar-13 11:44:16

Oh thank you for posting this! Thought it was just my little DS(17 months) driving me crazy. He is wonderful, very sweet natured and calm usually but so far today he has
1) got angry because his daddy did not make beans on toast the right way (forgot to remove crusts, or cut into fingers - silly daddy)
2) got angry because I did not load his fork with the right ratio of beans to toast to cheese
3) wanted to dose himself with calpol instead of me do it so I'm now covered in the sticky crap (he's teething so he's much much worse than usual)
I am counting down the hours to bed time.
And he also gets terrible seperation anxiety. I go to uni part time and on the days I go he gets up extra early (5am) to try and persuade me to stay. It's the lack of being able to communicate that's so frustrating for everyone.

enormouse Wed 13-Mar-13 11:56:57

pamsie my DS isn't walking independently either. So toddles, gets himself stuck, clings to legs, crawls at speed and wants carried. It seems to be a very full on, tiring sort of age.

Dirtymistress Wed 13-Mar-13 12:01:26

My ds1 17 months can be really difficult. Having some sort of crazed sleep regression, tantrums over nappy changes, getting dressed, going in buggy. Have just been to toddlers with him and ds2 (born Sunday) where he pulled two kids hair. This has gone on for about a month. Sigh.hmm

Jojobump1986 Wed 13-Mar-13 12:05:51

Yup. DS is nearly 17 months. He's suddenly incapable of staying on his feet, despite having been a confident walker for at least 3 months. He's got so many bruises you'd think I'd put him in the washing machine. He's currently coated in dried on snot so that's looking like an increasingly attractive idea...! He's recently decided that tantrums are the appropriate response to the word 'no'. He's always been a v independent child but has started having days where I absolutely must be in the same room as him. These days usually coincide with the days when I need to be doing things. I don't get to have lie-ins anymore since he's given up his morning sleep so DH can't give him breakfast & put him back to bed before going to work if I've had a bad night with my pregnancy-induced insomnia. Shrieking is the best noise. Doing something while being repeatedly told to stop is hilarious. Biting is a great game... <Sigh>

On the other hand, a combination of about a dozen words & half a dozen signs means he can communicate a lot better so frustration is less of an issue. His new-found 'clinginess' means he comes back to me when we're out rather than wandering off never to be seen again. He's just figured out how to stack rings on a pole & do simple puzzles so his concentration span is increasing & he can be left doing something for longer. He can now walk a mile easily while holding a hand which means that I don't have to break my back trying to push him up a steep hill in the buggy this is a good thing, even if it does take nearly 4x as long to get anywhere AND he just spontaneously came over to me & kissed me! He's never done that before! grin

Bumpsadaisie Wed 13-Mar-13 12:06:23

A thing a collective sigh all round is needed. Aaargghh.

Just clearing up the sick now. I hadn't appreciate previously that it had infiltrated into all the random books that DD has "posted" down the side of her bed. And left a lovely stain all down the wall on its way there.

Viviennemary Wed 13-Mar-13 12:14:47

I think the falling over and bumping into things and screaming is very difficult. Mine weren't too bad at this if I remember correctly. I think three/four is the hardest as they seem to get very determined. And some don't even grow out of that. grin

QTPie Wed 13-Mar-13 13:05:36

Hi Bumps

Yes, I found that age very difficult. Massive independence, plus the middle of rally bad teething...

When DS reached 19 months, teething stopped overnight, he started sleeping through consistently again and everything started getting much better... DS now 3 years and 1 month (had another rough patch at 2 years and 11 months for about 2 months): so there are always ups and downs.


enormouse Wed 13-Mar-13 13:19:38

I think a stiff beverage is in order for everyone.


(After bedtime of course Xx)

Bumpsadaisie Wed 13-Mar-13 13:19:40

Thanks everyone for your stories and encouragement. I feel a new strength surging in me!

And congrats on your little DS2 DirtyMistress; how lovely. Hope you are surviving the onslaught and not too sore. Keep your expectations rock bottom then you can't be disappointed, ho ho!

Bumpsadaisie Wed 13-Mar-13 13:21:40

Enormous - that's the thing I can't do- I've given up booze for Lent! Aargh. God knows I could do with a half pint glass of Harveys Bristol Cream at the mo.

Perhaps it was a good move. I would be drunk by midday if I hadn't, the way things have been this week grin

jammybean Wed 13-Mar-13 13:31:12

Great post OP. 18 months going on 15 here. I thought I'd take DD out for lunch as we've been cooped up for over a week with a nasty virus. What does she do? Screams blue murder in the street for 30 mins whilst I hurry her home. Now sleeping like butter wouldn't melt.

Free to a good home. Anyone?

<swigs gin>

enormouse Wed 13-Mar-13 13:37:03

Move to a different vice Bumps, maybe cigarettes or rollerblading. smile
jammy try ebay, 'charming, high spirited 18 month old, 1 previous owner'

mardarse Wed 13-Mar-13 13:39:30

This thread is just what I needed to read this morning. My 17 month old DS is a joy for everybody else but has such a temper and in the last couple of weeks has been so angry that I have struggled to get through to bedtime without wanting to ebay him. I don't remember DD being like this either, but maybe I have blocked that bit out.

So to summarise, it might get a bit better for a while then we'll hit terrrible twos and we'll be back to nightmare status. At least by then he might have a few more words to be less frustrated. <clutching at straws emotion>.

Proffers gin / schloer all round.

jammybean Wed 13-Mar-13 13:41:40

Enormouse With the week I've had she's lucky it's not freegle! Letting her off as he's still not 100% bless her.

OneLittleToddleTerror Wed 13-Mar-13 13:43:07

DD is 23mo and is worse than she's at 16-18mo. Sorry.

mardarse Wed 13-Mar-13 13:44:35

OneLittleToddlerTerror, fingers in ears not listening. La la la la la

ChocolateCoins Wed 13-Mar-13 13:48:59

DD is 18 months and I'm finding her so so difficult right now. It only seems to have started the last month or so. DS is due in July so I'm hoping this horrible phase will be over by then!

I do feel quite sorry for her as she gets frustrated so easily. Two of the pages in one of her books was stuck together and she went crazy after about 5 seconds of not being able to open it. Screaming and throwing herself about.

I recently night weaned her off bf, hoping it would help make her sleep better, but she still wakes up as much.

Her last molars are coming through too which doesn't help. sad

enormouse Wed 13-Mar-13 13:52:42

Lol at freecycle. Teethings awful, I feel so sorry for them. Just going by this thread I'm sure she'll be better by then chocolatecoins. Xx

purplewithred Wed 13-Mar-13 13:56:39

I would quite happily have farmed mine out for that whole year from walking to second birthday. It was appalling and I was not at my best as mother of toddlers. Found the terrible twos much easier, and it's carried on getting better all the way.

Think I have now found my forte as an almost empty nester. wine anyone?

fishcalledwonder Wed 13-Mar-13 13:58:20

This thread has really cheered me up!

16mo DD here. Mostly lovely, but definitely more clingy and throwing wobblers at the slightest frustration. Also starting to hit and lash out in anger.

OneLittleToddleTerror Wed 13-Mar-13 14:15:27

mardarse I'm dreading the terrible twos. I think it's building up for it. She will throw a tantrum at the slightest problem. For example, a couple of weeks ago, she threw her bowl of weetabix across the dining table because her rabbits aren't downstairs to eat breakfast. I keep telling her mummy will go and fetch your rabbits. And I'm sure she understands me.

When we go out, she won't stay in a pushchair anymore. Problem is she won't walk either. She will no longer sit in her high chair.

firawla Wed 13-Mar-13 14:18:26

depends on the child I think but if they are really difficult now it may be out of their system by the time they get to 2, whereas some are okay at this age and worse at 2+
my 3rd is around this age at the moment - 19 months and he is going through a stubborn phase, and can not talk yet either so its not the easiest stage

Bumpsadaisie Wed 13-Mar-13 14:22:48

I think the empty nest phase will be my phase, when I really come into my own as a mother.

I will be warm, loving and sympathetic to my DCs. From a distance grin

Bumpsadaisie Wed 13-Mar-13 14:23:55

Enormous - rollerblading - ha ha ha! You made me laugh with that one.

mardarse Wed 13-Mar-13 14:31:07

OneLittleToddlerTerror, I hear you. We have food throwing strops here too - to the point where we are replacing our carpet with laminate as it's wipe clean!

Have you tried a booster seat thing, rather than highchair? They fasten on to your dining room chairs and made my DD feel all grown up when we transfered her. No such luck with DS, he still throws and refuses food whilst sat in one.

In all honesty, I don't think I'm the best mother of a toddler either, I find is so wearing and a constant battle. I often feel like DD misses out as so much of my energy and time is taken up by DS. Yesterday we braved the library as DD (4.3 loves her books), she sat and chose books whilst I chased round like a loon after him. I swear he thinks his name is "DS No". I am no earth mother, that's for sure!

OneLittleToddleTerror Wed 13-Mar-13 14:40:25

mardarse DD is on a ikea junior chair. I wouldn't risk a booster chair as she would topple an adult chair. (Which she had done when out). She loves pushing the chair backwards with her hands on the table. The ikea junior chair is wide leg so is more stable. She doesn't actually throw her food all the time in the junior chair. It's only when she was upset by something. Like the rabbit incident. The only problem with the junior chair is her getting down it halfway through the meal. I guess that's why she isn't upset by it. The freedom of leaving when she likes.

And yes, my DD favourite word is NO NO NO. And I feel like a broken record saying NO all the time.

Dirtymistress Wed 13-Mar-13 15:28:09

This thread has definitely made me feel better. Thought I was the only one with a trying 17 month old so nice to know I'm not alone. Know it's going to get a lot worse now I have teeny tiny ds2 to add to the bedlam, but goodness they do bring me much joy along with the stressgrin

Misty9 Wed 13-Mar-13 22:54:47

Can I join too? 18mo ds here and although he's been biting and throwing things for a while, he's now perfected a very annoying whine to accompany most of his day. I really hope he grows out of the biting thing soon as I have to watch him like a hawk with other children sad
As a sahm I'm still waiting to discover my age/stage forte...

ceeveebee Wed 13-Mar-13 22:56:40

My twins will be 16 mo on Friday. Oh joy.

enormouse Thu 14-Mar-13 19:13:29

Thought I'd share this as it was quite funny. DS teethed on his daddy earlier and DP informed him very calmly that we don't do things like that. DS plonked himself down and sobbed into his hands in the most heartbroken way possible. (Actually don't know where he gets his sense of drama from, MIL probably). But he apparently continued to bear a grudge against his dad for the whole day, even at his grandparents. Hope everyone's 16-18mo's are well and haven't caused too much of a ruckus. Xx

mardarse Thu 14-Mar-13 21:26:12

Oh bless his cotton socks, Enormouse. It's all about the drama when you're a toddler.

fishcalledwonder Thu 14-Mar-13 22:43:28

DD has started throwing a huge tantrum every time I put her in her cot. Such fun!

Bumpsadaisie Thu 14-Mar-13 22:49:25

Agreed, Fish! At this rate my son is going to be auditioning for RADA by the time he is 18 mths...

minicc Sat 23-Mar-13 14:00:52

So far I've had 2 mini tantrums and a full blown as I wouldn't let her jump on the bed as I was trying to put the sheet on. She fell asleep on the car at 9:30 and slept till 11:30 after I popped her in her cot. I'm trying to convince her to have another half hour and she's jumping in her cot singing 'Mama! Mama!'. I'm so tired with her waking in the night after sleeping through since forever. And she's got a another bloody cold...... confused

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