Why am I the only parent I see carrying a screaming toddler?

(55 Posts)
NuzzleMyScratch Sat 09-Feb-13 20:21:21

DS is just 2. He likes to go walking which is great. My rules are that he must hold my hand if we are walking along a main road, crossing any road, and at any other time I see fit.

Most of the time he's happy to oblige but sometimes refuses, if there's something very interesting he wants to get to (like a bus or horse across the road) or if his interpretation when he should hold my hand doesn't match mine!

My tactics are that I will ask him to hold my hand, tell him if he doesn't hold it I'm going to pick him up, and then pick him up, screaming and kicking.

I see no one else doing this! Am I alone?

Snusmumriken Sat 09-Feb-13 20:26:04

Nope, you are not alone. DS is almost 16 months and we never use a buggy. I have a sling in case he gets very tired. He loves walking and I love watching him discover the world while he toddles about.

ellesabe Sat 09-Feb-13 20:28:29

You're not alone...<recoils in horror at the memory of carrying a screaming 2yo across the road when 8 months pregnant>

NuzzleMyScratch Sat 09-Feb-13 20:29:29

And how much time do you spend carrying him screaming?!
It's lovely isn't it, DS loves moss and strokes it on the garden walls grin

noisytoys Sat 09-Feb-13 20:31:38

You're not alone. I just have a screaming 2 year old. The only time she doesn't scream is when she sleeps sad

Makinglists Sat 09-Feb-13 20:31:41

Well that was me yesterday carrying DS2 who is 27mths across the road - carried like a torpedo under my arm (and killing my back in the process!) while trying to steer the buggy with the other hand.

NuzzleMyScratch Sat 09-Feb-13 20:31:55

Oh good ellesabe!

StillSlightlyCrumpled Sat 09-Feb-13 20:33:36

No, you've obviously not walked past me and my screaming two year old. smile

TheCountessOlenska Sat 09-Feb-13 20:33:46

I've spent many a walk carrying a screaming toddler!! When DD was just turned 2 she went through an awful stage where she screamed in the buggy but was almost as bad out of the buggy. We never got on with reins either. The worst thing that happened was that she sat down in the middle of a busy road and as I jerked her back up too standing I dislocated her elbow shock blush

She is very good now at nearly 3. Holds hands when asked, knows to stop at the end of roads, walks everywhere - we haven't used the buggy at all for a few months.

Mibby Sat 09-Feb-13 20:36:42

Youre not alone. I was carrying my 27month old round the shopping centre while she screamed hw mean I was!

StickEmWithThePointyEnd Sat 09-Feb-13 20:37:43

Because I try and avoid taking ds outside. grin

IcanandIwill Sat 09-Feb-13 20:39:15

Not alone.

NuzzleMyScratch Sat 09-Feb-13 20:42:05

Oh good! Do my rules sound reasonable do you think?

Convert Sat 09-Feb-13 20:43:59

You obviously don't have a child at DS1s school. I am the determind looking blonde carrying the screaming 18mnth old. The is apparently no other demanding, stubborn toddlers amongst the rest of the siblings as it's just me with the screaming child.
Actually if any of you are near the midlands and fancy bringing your screaming toddlers to the school run I would be very grateful. grin

Snusmumriken Sat 09-Feb-13 20:48:45

DS is obsessed with closing garden gates at the moment. We spent a god two hours today making sure each and every gate in our close proximity was well and truly shut.

PickledInAPearTree Sat 09-Feb-13 21:52:44

You are not alone. I dread walking with ds it would be easier to herd cats.

plantsitter Sat 09-Feb-13 21:55:05

You mustn't be looking. Or you live a long way away from me! I am often to be seen doing a rugby ball hold on DD2 as she screams 'Walk! Walk!' to get her across the road.

MrsGeologist Sat 09-Feb-13 21:58:51

Not alone. DS2 decided to have a screaming tantrum in the school playground while we were picking up DS1.

A school art exhibition was on as well, so this was in front if the whole school. Parents, teachers, children, all saw my 17mo lay on the floor screaming.

I was so proud.

elfycat Sat 09-Feb-13 21:59:48

You're not looking my way then! DD2 has just entered the 'terribles' and DD1 is about to turn 4 and still hasn't quite finished. I was the woman with a firm grip on 2 screamers yesterday. DD2 ended up under my arm and DD1 nearly lifted by her arm after she tried the tantrum-collapse while crossing a road.

I'll look back and laugh apparently. My mother is now...

PickledInAPearTree Sat 09-Feb-13 22:00:10

Ds just lies in the road screaming like I'm going to boil him in oil.

He won't hold hands ever

He likes to run to the centre if the road and hold his hands out Jesus like at oncoming traffic!

Argh.

AWimbaWay Sat 09-Feb-13 22:03:55

I once had to fireman's lift my then 2 yr old all the way home over one shoulder with a 6 month old on my front in sling and shopping bags in my other hand, she'd decided she was going to lie down on the road in the middle of a busy junction. Two homeless men drinking special brew kindly helped me get bags, toddler, baby etc. balanced safely on my 5ft1 frame. Really not sure why I thought it was a good idea to go out without a pushchair that day, never did again!

IvorHughJangova Sat 09-Feb-13 22:04:06

Mine does 'floppy toddler syndrome'. The legs go all bandy, the face screws up, the yelling begins and I end up dragging him on his knees muttering Please stand up, please stand up while the whole world and his wife stare at me in horror (I'm sure they don't, I don't know, I see nothing but me and Nightmare Child as if viewing from above in some ghastly bloody cinema of shame). I would pick him up but then he does 'rigid thrashy toddler' and that's even worse, as he inevitably (sp...) whacks my glasses off and renders me blind.

You and me should go out together Op. We can chat merrily over their screaming heads.

annie11 Sat 09-Feb-13 22:07:02

Elle I did exactly that, in the pouring rain- 8 months pregnant, firemen's lifting 2 and a half stone of squirming 2 year old who was determined to go the opposite direction from home so he could sit at a bus stop. I wouldn't mind, but he will sit at bus stops for hours, and try to get into every bus. Then sit himself dramatically into the nearest puddle and scream like a banshee when I don't let him.

I foresee a glittering Hollywood career for my son. :D

ledkr Sat 09-Feb-13 22:07:16

I have hurt dds arm a couple of times when insisting on holding hands but more like holding her wrist, and then she drops. I live in fear ill have to explain this at a and e as I'm a sw.
She hates reins too which she demonstrated last summer in a gorgeous town square in Renne, when she was head butting the floor in temper blush she just wants to walk where she wants to and dies it in a kind of bouncy striding manner. We call it her cocky walk.

My DD2 is exactly the same, she screams "Help Me, Help Me" whilst I am carrying her. She is just two and I am usually carrying her like a surfboard under my arm with a screaming head out one end and her thrashing kicking legs out the other end.

It will pass, we are now on the countdown to when she magically turns into a delightful, helpful three year old like DS and DD1 did, so hang on in there.

Leo35 Sat 09-Feb-13 22:22:51

IT's awful isn't it? DS2was/is a bolter, and can put on a turn of speed. I really appreciated the Little Life sack as a help. I insisted on the holding hands as well as the Little Life, because he wouldn't fit the Little Life sack forever! Good luck and stay firm.

ledkr Sat 09-Feb-13 22:26:58

Mine bolts too. My friends said they saw me running down the street after her the other day. They were impressed by my speed and now call me Mo.

PickledInAPearTree Sat 09-Feb-13 22:55:56

I'm going to have to get reins.

Maybe we could make a new sport of it ledkr, release them all in an arena and see who can catch the most?

PickledInAPearTree Sat 09-Feb-13 22:56:39

I tried the sacks and he clutches at them and hisses like there is acid on the straps! Argh.

Flojobunny Sat 09-Feb-13 22:58:37

You're not alone, except I'm now carrying a screaming 4 year old. Shouldn't it be easier by now?!

PickledInAPearTree Sat 09-Feb-13 23:04:18

Jesus no!

Yika Sat 09-Feb-13 23:08:58

Oh, I'm so glad I saw this thread! No way can I let go of dd, 28 months. She bolted when going through security on a weekend trip last week, under the security conveyor belt to where I couldn't reach her. She laughed. But I had the last laugh cos then I mercilessly strapped her, screaming and kicking, in the pushchair till we got to our seats.

MerryCouthyMows Sat 09-Feb-13 23:18:47

Because you are too busy carrying a screaming thrashing toddler to notice all the rest of us doing the sane thing? grin

I can assure you you are not alone. 3/4 of my DC's regularly ended up being carried kicking and screaming away from wherever I was.

The fourth one decided not to 'do' the terrible two's at 2yo. Or 3yo. No, he waited till he was 4yo to start the terrible two's. Try carrying an angry ball of rage that is twice the size of an average two year old!

(In his defence, he has SN's and severe GDD, so developmentally at 4yo, he probably was at a 2yo's level - he didn't take his first steps till 3y7m, or say his first word till 3y6m.)

But still, he lulled me into a false sense of security and made me think that he was just going to skip that stage, and then BAM! There we go with the incandescent rage over a cutted up banana...

wiltingfast Sat 09-Feb-13 23:23:32

Did you not see me in the play centre earlier today carrying my screaming almost 2yo under my arm while speaking to my screaming 3yo in (what I hoped was) a very firm but calm voice?

We did later all manage to cross the road holding hands...

PickledInAPearTree Sat 09-Feb-13 23:25:54

Toddlers are so bloody weird!

ledkr Sat 09-Feb-13 23:26:07

Yes pickled babyators hehe

FrantasticO Sat 09-Feb-13 23:32:31

You are def not alone!
Other parents like me are frog marching their children to the car...or debating why the two older siblings are NOT to wear makeup being that they are 4 and 8
All good, return to manhandling toddler.
At ease.

Startail Sat 09-Feb-13 23:34:37

No screaming, DD1 was just firmly strapped into walking reins the second she left her car seat.

She's only still alive because she instinctively knew roads were dangerous.

Never ever would she hold hands. She's more likely at 15 to hold hands than she was at two.

steppemum Sat 09-Feb-13 23:37:45

only reason you haven't seen me is that mine are past the toddler phase!

trikken Sat 09-Feb-13 23:38:28

my three year old is a bolter and screams she wants to be carried instead of walk. I have 6 yr old ds who isnt well behaved when walking too. I find the school run a nightmare most days.

MiniEggsinJanuary Sat 09-Feb-13 23:42:45

Of course you're not alone, OP! We never see each other as we are deafened by the screaming! I once had to pick one of my DC up and carry him out of the toy department with his arms flailing and legs kicking. As DH held other DCs and lift door, DS managed to punch be across the face (accidentally) and all I heard was a man saying "ooh - bet that hurt". Felt like saying that I could get DS to punch him too if he was so interested!

TepidCoffee Sat 09-Feb-13 23:46:14

Our Little Life backpack has been an absolute lifesaver with this - my DS absolutely refuses to hold my hand ever, unless he's dragging me somewhere to the telly

He hated normal reins, but doesn't seem to notice the backpack at all.

He did spend an hour on the train shouting at every other train we went past as we travelled via the busiest station in the UK the other day, though. Even the tenth train in so many minutes. And the twentieth train...you get the picture [knackered emoticon].

NuzzleMyScratch Sun 10-Feb-13 10:23:35

Thank you everyone, I've loved reading your tales of torture! DS has a backpack, but he'll only carry it by the handle, refuses to wear it....

nappyaddict Sun 10-Feb-13 10:30:02

Convert Where in the Midlands are you?

Convert Sun 10-Feb-13 14:01:46

I'm near stafford nappyaddict

Leo35 Sun 10-Feb-13 14:22:57

Could you let him carry the backpack and use reins as well?! So many familiar scenarios on this thread - particularly that this doesn't stops at 2.5, or 3 but keeps on rolling. Perhaps less frequently, but enough to keep you on your toes!

I can't wait for September and Reception to start. Four long years of being constantly vigilant with DS2 have taken their toll....

cranverry Sun 10-Feb-13 15:20:22

Oh definitely no alone. The other day I had to carry my 2 year old out a book shop screaming. I also had my 11 month old in a baby carrier at the time and she was most bemused.

nappyaddict Sun 10-Feb-13 21:07:34

Convert Oh I'm near Stourbridge if you know it?

notcitrus Sun 10-Feb-13 23:04:29

I couldn't carry ds - so had to take a buggy 'for my bag' just in case for ages! The little life backpack worked in the sense that he hated it so would walk rather than wear it.
He wasn't a runner, thankfully. But rapidly decided tantrums were way too much like hard work so would just lie down on the ground...
Now 4 he will let me drag him but scream while it happens. Suspect dd may be a runner so she's getting reins as soon as she can toddle.

PickledInAPearTree Sun 10-Feb-13 23:09:52

The best thing about the little life ones is that incredibly cruel little rain hood inside it. Hlarious!

UniS Sun 10-Feb-13 23:14:37

You are not alone, we have thankfully grown up past that stage. I used to sling DS over my shoulder like a sack of spuds if I needed to remove him screaming from some where.

gourd Mon 11-Feb-13 13:15:41

Heh heh! Normal! I usually ignore/say well, mummy's going to the cafe now to eat cake" or whatever and shouty-floppy girl will get up fom the ground and follow me. She usually has a "moment" or two every time we go out but luckily they only last a minute or two as long as I dont interfere or try to reason with her. Just carry on as usual or say I'm going now or look at that, and she stops. Distraction often still works with ours at nearly two and a half, though not always. The promise of going on a ride (I dont put any money in) when we are out at the shopping centre also stops any moment she may be having - she just gets up and goes towards the ride (I point to one that is in the direction we need to go!). Being tired or hungry doesn't help (and that's just me!) and having snacks in the bag seems to help avoid a lot of tantrums, but carrying her when she gets tired is becoming more and more unpleasant for both of us due to her imense weight, so more and more lately we have to sit down on a bench or in a cafe for a rest instead.

BertieBotts Mon 11-Feb-13 13:21:41

I had exactly the same rules! Hold hands or be carried/go in the buggy.

The worst one was when he would hold hands happily for the first half of the road and then suddenly go floppy and I'd be manhandling the buggy with the other hand so would have to carry him by his wrist to the other side of the road hmm

I've seen loads of parents carry their DC across a road if they won't hold hands, though. Especially screaming ones!

BertieBotts Mon 11-Feb-13 13:23:29

Although pre-warning was very helpful. Before you even get in sight of the road saying "there's a big road coming up soon and I need you to hold my hand" seemed to work for DS 95% of the time.

QTPie Mon 11-Feb-13 16:17:51

I go there occassionally.... DS NORMALLY good, but has his moments. Unfortunately he likes being carried (at just 3), so I go for the "undignified, sack of potatoes carry style" (so he doesn't see being carried as a good thing). Normally a few "are you ready to walk and hold my hand now?" along the way make him rethink ;)

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