Crying buckets over breastfeeding 6 day old. Help!

(74 Posts)
u32ng Thu 07-Feb-13 20:05:33

So I had my beautiful boy on Friday but didn't get out of hospital until Tuesday because of problems with feeding (trouble getting latched; having to express; topping up with formula).

I used nipple shields at first which helped him latch but not very well I don't think as my nipples were getting mashed flat after feeding. So decided to stop using them & had many a power struggle to get him to latch without. Managed it but each feed still starts of with a struggle as he cries his head off & goes a bit frantic. Then when he does latch it is shallow (nipple looks a teeny bit mashed when finished) & he tends to get sleepy.

I am crying SO much over this as his hungry cries really upset me, and make me feel I'm not providing. He usually cries not long after feeding & has to be cup fed formula. I am also worried that my milk supply is not being built up properly as my breasts still feel very soft after the last feed.

I just don't know how to get him to latch properly (and I do know all about the 'nose to nipple' thing etc) & make sure my milk doesn't dry up.

Help! grin(

Floweryhat Thu 07-Feb-13 20:07:38

You need rl help. Please call the national breastfeeding helpline on 0300 100 0212. They'll be able to help and won't mind if you cry. Huge hugs to you smile

Piemother Thu 07-Feb-13 20:10:05

We can be kind and supportive bit what we can't see we can't help with. You need to go to a latch on group tomorrow my love and have a feed observed. They are usually at childrens centres or ask your HV. I implore you to go tomorrow x

scratchandsniff Thu 07-Feb-13 20:19:15

For something that feels as if it should come naturally It's bloody hard work. It takes practice. It took about 6 weeks for me to feel like I had got the hang of it, and for baby too. Ask your HV to watch you feed and check the latch. Also second breasfeeding helpline or la leche league. If you haven't already get some lansinoh to rub on your nips. It's a lifesaver when you hit the cracked nipples stage. It does get easier, I promise. In a few months you'll be posting advice to someone else on here. Good luck and congrats.

PoppyWearer Thu 07-Feb-13 20:22:28

Congratulations on your baby boy!

Please go and get some help IRL. Perhaps he has a tongue tie or you have a nipple inversion that could be causing the problems. Good luck!

needsadviceplease Thu 07-Feb-13 20:23:04

Congrats on new arrival. Has baby been checked for tongue tie? Get him checked again and again and again - it can often be a cause of exactly the difficulties you're having. Good luck.

pooka Thu 07-Feb-13 20:23:15

go on www.kellymom.com too.

Loads of info.

FWIW - with all of mine, my boobs were occasionally soft after feeds. Noticeably (i.e. if dc only had one side, one would be hard, one soft).

The best way to make sure supply is being built up is to take to your bed with you lovely baby and just feed as often as possible. I'm no expert (so definitely contact an expert i.e. NCT breastfeeding helpline/LLL) but I wonder whether the cup feeding is complicating things? I dunno though...

Maybe Im a useless specimen of a woman, but I just put mine on formula.

Meh, babies were happy, I was happy. Job done.

Flossish Thu 07-Feb-13 20:26:48

Oh, what a sad post.

As others have said you need some rl help.

La leche league can be called for prompt help, or email which might be slower but you might prefer.

Is your midwife any help??

needsadviceplease Thu 07-Feb-13 20:26:55

And for tonight (ie before you can get any RL support) - keep him close, unlimited access to the breast (if you can bear it - I remember the gaps between feeds being cherished relief...) - both of you stripped off doing skin to skin if your house is warm enough. Olive oil can be soothing if you haven't got any lansinoh in.

Bf can be so hard at first - well done for coming so far.

pixi2 Thu 07-Feb-13 20:27:28

Get some help, in the meantime, make sure you are calm before a feed. Be somewhere comfortable. I used to feed on my side on the bed with dc/dd next to me on their side chanting tummy to tummy nipple to nose, nipple to nose.

It took me awhile to figure out how to feed in different places and positions but we got there. Ds had trouble feeding as he had oral thrush from my antibiotics.

pooka Thu 07-Feb-13 20:27:32

Not a useless specimen of a woman MFG.

But not very helpful. Rather snide.

MortifiedAdams Thu 07-Feb-13 20:28:44

I did a monkeyfacegrace too

Why snide?

I didnt want to waste the.first few weeks of my babies life being miserable, so I gave up within a few days and hit the formula. For me it made life so much easier.

No doctor in the land has.asked how my kids were fed for their first 6 months, hence Im a bit 'meh' over the whole thing.

If you can bf easily great, if not, dont stress over it.

Lafaminute Thu 07-Feb-13 20:34:46

FWIW I got very sick when my baby was 4 weeks old - probably better established than yours at that stage- and he was immediately given bottles (various types of whatever formula) by various other people who helped care for him til I got better - about 4 days: prior to this I had been of the opinion of breast ONLY. Well, he survived the rude introduction to the bottle and we continued a mish-mash of bottle and boob for 15 months. I wish I had been told from day one that mixing bottle and breast can work and breast and formula also work together - in my experience. When you are getting advice from la leche or whomever, bear this in mind.

girliefriend Thu 07-Feb-13 20:35:15

I don't think that was snide but rather to make op feel o.kay if she can't bf and has to ff, it isn't the end of the world even though at the time it can feel like it.

Agree with post which encouraged lots of skin to skin, def get rl support and try not to feel like this means it isn't going to work. It is still very early days, for one reason and another I had a mix feed dd from birth and was able to eventually go onto exclusive bfing.

Don't give up and congrats smile

Floweryhat Thu 07-Feb-13 20:37:43

The helpline number I gave is open for alost another hour tonight. You (or dh) can call now.

SirBoobAlot Thu 07-Feb-13 20:38:42

Skin to skin, lots of it, and get real life help ASAP. Peer support group, specialist midwife, breast feeding counsellor. Call the LLL or the ABM.

SirBoobAlot Thu 07-Feb-13 20:42:10

Also, try feeding in the bath if he is getting stressed as the water can soothe them. Get him checked for TT, and have your latch checked. Watch out for the early hunger signs.

Try and keep calm, don't stress too much.

PreciousPuddleduck Thu 07-Feb-13 20:42:56

You are doing so well, you have brought a little miracle into this world. I know how hard it is at this stage. Get the help suggested above but if you're still struggling and it is making you miserable then do consider formula. My 9 mo DD was FF and is doing so well, happy, well grown, loves her food and sitting next to me giggling whilst her Daddy tickles her. Yes, breast is best but its not the end of the world if its now working for you on his occasion. Enjoy your baby and all the newborn cuddles. (Hugs)

drjohnsonscat Thu 07-Feb-13 20:44:28

The only difference between you, OP, and me is that I was sobbing over breastfeeding my six day old six years ago! Your post brought it all back and I posted in desperation on another parenting site and got told "seek advice" so I did. It took a while and in the end what really helped was having a really lovely breastfeeding consultant come to the house every day for a few days to show me different holds. I did go to the clubs and stuff but having the one-to-one support really helped. She put me on all sorts of funny herbal teas made out of cumin seeds or somesuch and I did get there in the end.

Poor you - it really is the last thing that new mums should go through when they've just been put through the wringer by childbirth and no sleep. But just know that it's very common and there is help out there.

katekins Thu 07-Feb-13 20:50:16

I breasted my five with varying success . A couple of tips I found helpful massaging under babies tounge gently with a curved index finger can help a slight tounge tie, when I latched them on their bottom lip was at the bottom of the areole and let them sort of POP the nipple in so that there's more breast at bottom of nipple in babies mouth than top, and wake baby if you know he's due to wake for feed so he's still relaxed . Hope things improve for you try to relax . Good luck x

BrianCoxandTheTempleofDOOM Thu 07-Feb-13 20:51:16

No other advice to offer, as lots has been given - I hope you give the helpline a call.

Just to let you know that I too struggled initially, but with support I managed to get through and DD and I both learned how to do it (it doesn't come naturally even though we tell ourselves it should).

You are not alone, you are doing nothing wrong - they (babies) don't come with a manual and nor do boobs (be useless if they did as babies unable to read wink )

Get some support, try again and see how it goes.

Don't beat yourself up though - you are doing brilliantly.

JiltedJohnsJulie Thu 07-Feb-13 20:52:11

u32 please call the MWs. They are there to help you, so please don't worry about calling them. They need to watch you do a whole feed. I think asking them to check Lo for tongue tie would be a really good idea even if Lo has already been checked, its really easy to miss.

For sone reason I can't do links from youtube at the mo, but try googling youtube dr jack Newman latch. A couple of useful videos should come up smile

If you feel like you need sone additional support after talking to the MWs call one of the bfing helplines here.

Hth

Anchorwoman Thu 07-Feb-13 20:52:28

Oh gosh it's so hard isn't it? RL help from LLL or similar asap might make all the difference. And it might not. If it doesn't and you end up formula feeding then please please don't feel bad. I lasted 6 days bfing DC1 struggling terribly with v little help. With DC2 I had masses and masses of help and support and was formula feeding after 3 increasingly hard weeks. Give yourself permission to take things as they come and enjoy your new baby.

nextphase Thu 07-Feb-13 20:54:48

Please, please please see someone IRL. NCT (0300 330 0771 ), BFN (0300 100 0212) or LLL (0845 120 2918) all have help lines.

Noone beleived me that feedign was awful, til someone actually watched me feed "its all right, the pain will stop in a few secs" me: Nope, its the whole feed. We got a tongue tie snipped, and it was amazing the difference.

If your in pain through the whole feed, it isn't right. Please phone one of the lines.

Lostonthemoors Thu 07-Feb-13 21:04:24

Whatever bm your son has had so far will have been fantastic for him and you have already given him so much good colostrum. So first of all some thanks for you for bf him and keeping going even though it's challenging at the moment.

With the right RL help bf can almost certainly become something you will enjoy for many months.

I think you need to:

- call one of the helplines tonight and I think LLL would be great at helping. They will take urgent calls in the evening and your would class as urgent, so please just keep calling until you get an answer.

- go tomorrow to get RL help about the latch, even if you need a taxi to get there, or have to pay for a lactation consultant to come out

If your DS is not taking enough milk from you to keep your supply up you will need to express to keep your supply Hugh enough to feed him when you can get back to ebf - please ask the helpline and RL bf support people about this.

Huge un MN hugs

xxx

Lostonthemoors Thu 07-Feb-13 21:05:08

High enough not Hugh enough blush

LilSheepie Thu 07-Feb-13 21:05:49

Oh I remember this. It's awful - you are worried, sore and feel like it should be easy, but it isn't!

I totally agree that getting a bf counsellor / advisor to watch you feed is a fab idea - it really helped me as they physically showed me the best way to actually manoeuvre them onto the boob!

If you are worrying about milk supply you could maybe express after a feed to encourage supply and also reassure yourself that you are maintaining production? (Sounds like a factory production line I know!)

Someone else mentioned feeding lying down and I agree - if you are relaxed it definitely helps. It is also somehow easier to get the in position - I used to lie my 2nd daughter on a pillow next to be and then tuck her bottom right into my tummy so her head was tilted back to my boob.

A bit if advice I was given which really helped me was that at the start of the feed to consciously stroke her head and close my eyes and think "loving" thoughts as it helps the milk let down and start flowing. Worked for me!

You will get there - don't beat yourself up. It is a huge myth that breast feeding is easy, I know far more mums who've struggled with it than have found it straightforward so you are in good company!

Give your little boy a cuddle and congratulate yourself on giving birth and getting through the first week - by week 6 you'll be in a totally different place!

NonnoMum Thu 07-Feb-13 21:08:40

If you delivered your baby in England or Wales (congrats by the way) you have 24 access to the MWs at the hospital for the first 28 days.

Phone them now.

They might even send someone round.

NonnoMum Thu 07-Feb-13 21:08:55

Oh, and paracetomol??

javierbademswife Thu 07-Feb-13 21:16:06

I went through the same thing with my dd and know how difficult it is - it's very hard to cope when you are feeling so knocked about by birth and the responsibility of being a new mum. I don't really have any new advice. I talked to my midwife and was put in touch with my local breast-feeding support group. They were absolutely incredible - a group of local new mums run by a local midwife/breast-feeding councillor. As soon as I walked in I burst into tears - they gave me brilliant advice and fed me tea and cake and I made new friends who were in the same boat. My advice is ask for help as soon as possible.

There is no shame/harm at all in moving to a bottle if you find that breast-feeding just doesn't work for you.

marriedinwhite Thu 07-Feb-13 21:17:09

Many will help you with the technical bits. But I am 52 and have two dc who are 18 and 14. Breastfeeding can be lovely (I didn't manage for long with my eldest). It has health benefits but they aren't really measurable. Rather like giving birth, breast feeding is a tiny tiny part of a being a mummy and a tiny tiny part of the bond that will develop between you and your baby.

Breast milk is the ideal. But nothing is as important as love and being happy enough and well enough and comfortable enough to enjoy your baby and be happy with him or her.

Your baby will not remember the birth or the difficulties of breastfeeding. Your baby will remember love and cuddles and the first time riding a two wheeler with you pushing and letting go; your first cheer from the touchline as he scores his first try; running to you for a hug with blood running down his leg from his first fall; you being there for his first nativity play or Christingle; you at the gate on his first day at school, your smell; a special story, etc., etc..

This is the beginning of a long and successful story. It isn't the be all and the end all. Great if you succeed; not a tragedy if you don't.

Good luck. You are a lovely mummy already for caring so much. >>hugs<<<

ubik Thu 07-Feb-13 21:19:25

yes get midwife to check for tongue tie.

i bf three babies, dd3 was a fecking nightmare. i cried for days trying to feed her when all the mw did was leave me with a fecking patronising DvD about bf. I had to literally bite on a belt to get DD3 latched on.

After an agonising weekend, 6 days later, i broke down in front of mw and she finally looked in dd3's mouth - tongue tie. tongue nipped same day and went on to bf for 12 months.

get them to check.

and good luck (giving formula to give yourself a break while it's so painful is definitely something to consider smile)

u32ng Thu 07-Feb-13 21:23:13

Thanks very much for your help. Midwife is coming tomorrow afternoon so will speak to her then for face-to-face assistance, but will phone helpline in the morning. Never thought about tongue-tie - I will definitely get the midwife to check.

Dreading tonight's night time feeds though grin(

(I have the lansinoh stuff & thank goodness because it IS good!)

u32ng Thu 07-Feb-13 21:24:51

sigh that was obviously not meant to be a grin face - meant to be an unsmiley one!

Mandy21 Thu 07-Feb-13 21:24:57

No real advice other than whats already been said but just wanted to say you're doing a fab job and don't lose sight of the fact that you're a mummy with a beautiful DS.

All I would say is that it really does get easier, I absolutely promise smile

BrianCoxandTheTempleofDOOM Thu 07-Feb-13 21:31:51

u32 - you are bringing it all back to me.

I was very, very, very, lucky in that I was living with my parents when DD was newborn and my mum had BF both me and my brother and was so helpful and understanding. I vividly remember the night feeds in the early days, crying and saying I can't go on - mum said 'not a problem, get through tonight and if it's no better after you've seen MW in the morning, we can think about getting some bottles'

I think once I realised that it wasn't the be all and end all and there was an alternative, I relaxed. The next day wasn't as horrendous, MW helped with latch and things got better and over time easier - it was never THAT bad again IYSWIM. I ended up BF DD until she was 13 months (pure laziness on my part grin) in the end. If I had been told that I would manage that long, during that horrendous night, I would have laughed/cried and screamed 'LIAR'.

Now awaiting the birth of DS (6.5 weeks and counting) and really want to BF, but know this time that it may not be an easy ride and not to beat myself up if it is hard.

Can you have a bath, relax and then try the lying down to feed suggestion by others? Just to get you through tonight.

((hugs))

LadyWidmerpool Thu 07-Feb-13 22:20:22

Good luck tonight OP and congratulations on your new arrival.

SirBoobAlot Thu 07-Feb-13 22:25:19

Best thing for sore nipples is actually breast milk smile So when they leak, rub a little bit back in. If you use lansinoh (not a bad thing, it's great stuff) be sure to only use a tiny amount, or it can make your nipples too slippery for them to be able to latch on to.

Best of luck for tonight.

RowanMumsnet (MNHQ) Thu 07-Feb-13 22:34:13

Hello u32ng

Many congratulations on your son.

We've had an email suggesting we move this to our Breast and Bottle Feeding topic area, where you might get some extra responses (not that the posters on here haven't done brilliantly already thanks) - let us know if you'd like us to do that for you.

Just hit 'report' on any post in the thread, and put in a message explaining that you're the OP and you'd like it moved.

Best of luck with getting the BFing going.

Floweryhat Thu 07-Feb-13 22:37:14

I hope you have an OK night OP. If you can, then sometimes jut taking it one little bit at a time can help, e.g. "I'm just going to get through the next 5 mins". "I'll do this feed and then see how I feel" etc. People may well be around on MN overnight if you're up smile.

Also, if you possibly can, then try to remember that 3-4am is the worst time in the world to make decisions, and the hardest to be awake. It will pass, and morning will come.

Sleep well x

Floweryhat Thu 07-Feb-13 22:37:33

PS Congratulations grin!!

FunnysInLaJardin Thu 07-Feb-13 22:39:00

I FF too after 6 weeks of misery (mashed bleeding nipples and mastitis are clear in my mind 7 years on) with DS1 and 4 weeks with DS2. By all means OP do what all are advising WRT continuing BFing, but please don't make yourself too unhappy. Formula is fine too!

Lostonthemoors Fri 08-Feb-13 08:14:52

Good plan op to discuss with the mw today and call a helpline. Hope the night feeds went ok and you aren't too sore.

You are doing brilliantly to be continuing to bf and things will get easier.

Hope you are getting some brew made for you by OH and eating some biscuitbiscuit on the sofa while you feed.

Please do come back and update us after seeing the mw.

JiltedJohnsJulie Fri 08-Feb-13 09:03:45

Yes, please do keep us updated. If you are struggling, don't feel that you have to wait for the mw to call. Please call them now. As others have said, if you gave birth in England or Wales you have 24 hour access for the first 28 days. You don't have to suffer in silence but you may have to actively seek RL help out smile

crazycrush Fri 08-Feb-13 14:05:58

You have gotten good advice here: lots of skin to skin, offer boob regularly, get help from LaLecheLeague, and don't stress if he is getting a bottle or cup also... you ARE providing.

Establishing bf takes time (weeks, not days). Try and enjoy those precious first days.

Congrats on your baby!

waterrat Fri 08-Feb-13 14:15:52

a simple correction to my latch from the bf specialising midwife completely altered my breastfeeding from agonising to beginning to become bearable...(they are not all BF specialists - you can call your local hospital where you gave birth and find out the names of the local experts )

best point made here is the one above - bf takes a few weeks to establish - that is very normal. Of course you shouldn:t feel bad if you switch to formula - but if you want to breastfeed nearly all difficulties can be sorted out with help. Sorry - the comment above that the health benefits of BF are not measurable is not true! but please no need to make this BF v Formula...you want to bf right now, there is help available if you want to continue.

I can only offer my personal story - I found it incredibly hard work establishing a comfortable way to breastfeed - but..once I got through those first 4/5 weeks it is the easiest thing in the world....that is why I would )again just me personally) always recommend keeping going through the tough bit - because its so easy once you are through the tough bit.

And - within 6 months you are only feeding a few times a day, it takes 10 mins or less to feed - I would never have believed how simple it was by that point. at 9 months Im still going.......also wouldn:t have thought that possible in the early days

JiltedJohnsJulie Fri 08-Feb-13 14:38:17

u32 have you spoken to the mw yet? How are you getting on?

Bookwolf32 Fri 08-Feb-13 18:55:52

Agree about checking for tongue tie- my dd had hers cut at 3weeks and it was a big improvement. Don't pay too much attention to the recommended positions e.g. nose to nipple, the shape/size of my breasts has meant my dd never been in that position. Try and go to a breastfeeding cafe if you can find one near you, just having support makes all the difference.

marriedinwhite Fri 08-Feb-13 20:17:32

Very much hope you have had a better day today. And congratulations on the birth of your son. brew thanks

u32ng Sun 10-Feb-13 04:33:34

Hi,
(Sorry I should've put this into the appropriate talk section. Anyway..)

So I broke down in tears when the midwife came & told her everything. She is not the warmest of individuals but hey ho. I asked her to check if he was tongue tied which he's not apparently, so that's not the latch prob. Tbh, she didnt really help much.

I called the NCT breastfeefing helpline for latch advice & got some useful info re: trying different positions & stopping sleepy feeding. Am frustrated tho as I've not breast fed in a couple of days as wany to let my nipples heal completely (couldn't resist having a quick go last night & blood was drawn so called it quits)

So where i'm at now is formula feeding DS & he's easily taking 90mls a feed;
Expressing to try and keep milk supply (hit & miss: 10ml yesterday afternoon, pathetic amounts in sessions since). Hating the formula mainly as I'm finding it such a faff & am already sick of the sight of the steriliser. Hoping once nipples have healed I can attack the breast feeding with a vengeance to make it work. DS stills turns his head to root when I bottle feed so hoping the boob is not too distant a memory for him.

needsadviceplease Sun 10-Feb-13 06:32:11

Just wanted to say how impressed I am at your perseverance.
Midwives can be a bit crap with bf help - I'm sure some are great but with mine it was clear they had less bf expertise than I would have liked.
Can you get to a bf support group at all?

needsadviceplease Sun 10-Feb-13 06:34:35

Ps - any chance dp/someone else can take full responsibility for sterilising etc for time being? So you can just concentrate on recovering and cuddling/feeding baby?

JiltedJohnsJulie Sun 10-Feb-13 08:25:27

Did either of them give you any suggestions for getting you nipples to heal? Did the mw observe a whole feed?

Agree that going to a local Bfing support group sounds like a really good idea. If you want to make bfing work I think you are going to need lots of RL help and quickly. If you're not sure where the local bfing support groups are, get in touch with your local lll leader and ask for their help. I'd also ask a BFC to check for tongue tie again, especially as your mw didn't seem too clued up on bfing. I'd call them today smile

There's no harm too in contacting the MWs again on the support no you should have been given. If you call them rather than wait for one to call around they may have more time smile

FlamingGallah Sun 10-Feb-13 08:29:54

Morning! I'm so sorry you are going through this, and you are amazing for trying to persevere.

I'm currently feeding 5 day old DC3, and naively thought I'd be a veteran by now, but my nipples were trashed and I was in agony within 48 hours! The others have given some great advice about where to go next- I would strongly advise going to a breastfeeding group/cafe/drop in where they actually SEE you try and feed over a session.

Thought I could share my experience of trying to actually heal the poor nipples? Lansinoh alone simply didn't do it for me, and I was finding that my bra or breast pad were sticking to the skin and taking the top of the nipple again each time.

What has healed my nips in less than 48 hours is using some burns dressings called Jelonet, which were recommended on here. Cost a couple of quid from local chemist and they are impregnated with some sort of Vaseline. I put lansinoh on my nipples, then mould the dressing over it, then a breast pad. The idea is that the healing is then moist, and you don't just take the scab off the wound each time.

I've been v impressed with the improvement and have been able to feed again on the less affected side. I've also temporarily been using Medela nipple shields. I know midwives hate them, but I figured a few days was a non issue if it lets them heal and keeps me breastfeeding.

As others have said, ultimately formula is not a disaster at all! But I do think some of your problems are fixable, just not with some of the staff you've met so far unfortunately.

Best of luck either way x

marriedinwhite Sun 10-Feb-13 08:53:31

Good Luck OP. Far better that you feel well and happy at this very special time and that you are not miserably in pain. I soldiered on for 8 weeks and really should have called it a day much sooner (he's 18 and 6'2" now and plays front row - so he seems to have survived OK).

Now, check this with a health professional but I was told to do the bottles, by an a&e sister who had become the local nct breast pump lady: thoroughly wash and rinse bottles and then sterilise. Then fill each bottle up to the 3oz mark and put in a plastic bag off a roll and put in the fridge. At feeding time - add 1oz boiling water and the milk powder and shake. You are then ready to roll with milk at the right temperature which is freshly made every time. *I give the instructions with the caveat though that they are 18 years old and the advice may have changed* so please check it. I was told you could keep the bottles in the fridge, in the plastic bag for 24 hours and got into the routine of doing them every morning.

Good luck by the way - hope the next few months and years are very happy for you and your new family.

Titchyboomboom Sun 10-Feb-13 08:55:04

How you hold them can help. I couldn't get dd to latch properly, then discovered the rugby ball hold and hey presto!!

DancingInTheMoonlight Sun 10-Feb-13 09:05:28

Do you have a la leche group near you? Also the local hospital here has specialist breastfeeding consultants ...

The main thing is that your LO is having something, whether it be formula or breast milk and that you concentrate on enjoying the early days! Good luck

Bit late to the thread, but just wanted to say that was me nearly 14 years ago, and I remember vividly how upsetting it was. I persevered for 6 weeks, crying every feed and the pain was toe curling. sad I couldn't carry on. sad

But he's 13 now and just fine. Good luck with whatever you choose. x

JiltedJohnsJulie Sun 10-Feb-13 09:42:24

married yes the advice has changed. The ware has to be 70c. Lots of people think they need the water this hot to kill of the bacteria in the water but that's not the issue. The water has to be 70c to kill of the bacteria in the formula.

I think these are the latest guidelines, but please correct me if I'm wrong smile

JiltedJohnsJulie Sun 10-Feb-13 09:43:03

Sorry water has to be 70c

JiltedJohnsJulie Sun 10-Feb-13 09:45:05

And if you still want bfing or mix feeding to work, I'd ask Mn to move the thread as there are some BFCs who post in the bottle and breast section smile

u32ng Sun 10-Feb-13 09:54:31

Thanks all for your advice & support. I will definitely look into those burns dressings to get healed up & find a nearby bf group to go to.

I'll update further down the line - hopefully singing & dancing about bf success!

waterrat Sun 10-Feb-13 10:17:33

sorry if you mention this - but have you tried nipple shields? I used them for 2/3 days and they allowed me to heal....and then I got back onto putting baby to the breast.

if you want to BF, the longer you go without putting the baby to your breast the harder it will be to get it going again - I know how agonising it is, I also wept with pain! but you really need RL support in the form of someone sitting with you going through your latch - an expert not an unfriendly midwife.

Can your dP drive you down to a BF group? and well done by the way for getting this far through the pain. its horrible.

have you asked your hospital if there is a BF expert midwife ?

TripleRock Sun 10-Feb-13 10:39:14

Just wanted to add, if you are not bf and are pumping to maintain supply, it's very important to express 8-10 times in 24 hours including some of those sessions at night. Hire a hospital grade double pump if you can. Give the ebm to your lo and top up if necessary.

You do not need to sterilise your pump or any other cups, syringes or other stuff you've used whilst expressing so long as it has only had ebm on it. Washing thoroughly in hot soapy water is sufficient so long as your baby was full term and not low birth weight. You do need to sterilise anything that's had ff in it though.

Consider cup, syringe or spoon feeding rather than bottles as this should make it easier to make the switch back to direct bf.

Get rl help from a specialist as soon as you can.

Good luck brew

duvet Sun 10-Feb-13 11:43:09

http://www.breastfeedinginc.ca/content.php?pagename=videos

I found advice by Jack Newman and these videos helpful when I was struggling.
Good on you for perservering. :-)

Yfronts Sun 10-Feb-13 18:49:46

I had BFing problems which took about 4 weeks to overcome with lots of tears and pain but eventually it clicked into place. My issue was that I wasn't holding baby close enough at all. Once I had him pulled really into me and he got a bigger mouthful it all started to work. not sure if this relates to you but please do get some rl help.

Yfronts Sun 10-Feb-13 18:50:54

By close I mean so baby has only a tiny weeny gap for air and was held closer/higher!

GingerDoodle Sun 10-Feb-13 20:56:02

My two penneth:

If you want to bf - get rl help re latch.
if you are not that fussed its don't beat yourself up; mix or go for straight formula.

I bf for a week then due to pain, digestion and weight gain mix fed till 3 months and then switched to formula. DD is thriving.

I am very pro breast feeding (its free! Natural and undeniably best in an ideal work). That said I am but very anti women beating themselves up over it and / or it being such an issue if they have problems that it detracts from enjoying the newborn stage.

GingerDoodle Sun 10-Feb-13 20:58:18

O an i should said, while I am probably not the majority against the predication of all the HV's my milk is only now drying up.

JiltedJohnsJulie Sun 10-Feb-13 22:13:22

Lovely to see some more great advice today smile. If your hospital don't hire out pumps, try your local branch of the nct, assuming that you are in the uk of course smile.

Just wondered if you'd read this on healing nipples, this on latch and this on relactation.

Agree with looking at jelonet, breast shields, taking painkillers and bothering the hell out of MWs and BFCs till you get the support you need and deserve smile.

trixiefey Mon 11-Feb-13 13:27:15

Given that the midwife wasn't very helpful in general, can I suggest that you get a second opinion re tongue tie. A lot of midwifes have absolutely no training on this (my son lost 16% of his birth weight in the first 5 days, and he saw several midwifes, doctors and HVs before I finally saw a BF expert who spotted his TT). They are especially hard to spot for the untrained if they are a posterior TT.

robyn2 Mon 11-Feb-13 14:15:46

I failed on the breast feeding, my dd spent 2 weeks in the baby unit, they had given her the bottle on a couple of occasions, I had lots of help trying to bf but in the end I couldn't cope it was like a fight and i couldnt cope with seeing how upset dd got and that made me feel miserable and really stressed. I tried expressing too but wasn't getting enough but perhaps gave in too quickly.

Sometimes I wish id persevered a bit longer, especially when heating up bottles in the night and more so when dd had colic and constipation, oh and the expense of formula. However the bonus is I immediately relaxed once I switched to formula, I know exactly how much dd is getting and even better I can share the night feeds a little which is such a bonus!

Don't continue to feel upset or stressed though, if you can be happy, relaxed and enjoy your baby in the precious early days I would say that is so much more beneficial. Your giving bf a good go and if formula is the way its the way.

My baby had an uncertain start in life but is thriving, happy healthy and content on formula and so am I!

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