Mumsnet Talk

Currently 29 weeks pregnant....many of my friends love, love, love to tell DH and I just how tired, grumpy, no social life, fed up, lost etc we'll be once our baby arrives (cheerful I know!). So I'm looking for some positive inspiration of why we all do this....

So, just to balance it out a bit, tell me about all the reasons why it's worth it... what are the best thing, the most positive things about having a baby and watching them grow.

Unlimited cuddles, maternity leave, breastfeeding (I have loved bf) and being able to eat anything and lose weight during it (I know the weight loss thing can vary amongst women though), nurturing this little part of you and DP and being in total AWE at how you've produced this little amazing thing, all those amazing dinky little clothes, baby sleep suits... The list goes on and on!

When they hear a loud noise and their eyes just POP open for a second. Is v cute.
Baby sneezes
Baby skin smell
Baby snoring
Fluffy hair on baby
Baby learning to splash water the first time
First laugh
Smiling in their sleep
Running their eyes when tired - is adorable
Sleeping on stomachs with bottoms in air (yes not allowed but cute when observed when they have fallen asleep on play may)

List goes on

Rubbing eyes!

Congratulations btw! I'd ignore the naysayers - people will always have negative things to say. other mums at groups are often amongst the worst culprits, it seems to me, actually - under the guise of small talk.

The early weeks/months can be very intense and, yep, you will probably put your hobbies on hold for a period. But there's no reason why you can't get back into things when you're all ready. Life continues. Different, yes. Harder work, yes. But worth it? God, yes.

Oh the cuddles, the cuddles. I loved bf too (after the first 4 weeks) and smelling his precious newborn head. The first smile, the first chuckle... I was even proud when I saw him wee for the first time.

You will have a social life, it will just be different, we have found we meet lots of people for lunch instead of dinner, that's all! Also look at the bright side, you have the perfect excuse to turn down social events you can't be arsed with!

I got quite depressed with all the naysayers when I was pregnant, everyone delights in telling you that your life is over. In fact it's just getting better! I went back to my hobby when DS was 8 weeks, had rehearsals two evenings a week. I am lucky that I have very devoted parents and inlaws who are happy to babysit as DH works shifts.

Playing with your baby is lots of fun, when they start to smile when they see you is the best thing ever. They smell nice (except for when they don't, obviously!) and they have extremely cute hair! You can nuzzle into them and their skin is really soft. They think you're AMAZING just because you're mummy.

When they snuggle into you mmmmmmmmmm........

Of course it's tiring and hard work, but it's so amazing to watch this little person growing and changing and to that depend on you. The cuddles, laughs and smiles are brilliant. Congratulations

It is tiring, but the first smile (around 6 Weeks) is such a turning point, and it's great watching them learn stuff and develop. You are in charge of your time so decide/plan to attend baby groups, meet friends for lunch, or not - it's lovely not having any commitments apart from being there for her/him. Life slows down in a sense, it's nice learning to live differently.

Cuddles, first smile & when they chat away to you in her own little baby language. Every time they do something new you feel so proud :-)

There's so much OP

Holding your tiny snuggly baby while they sleep.
A minute hand reaching up and clasping your top while you feed them.
The magic of watching them develop. Every little change feels like a miracle to me.

It's actually starting to make me feel broody thinking about it!!! Look out DH!

Oh my word it is hard work and at times relentless and exhausting (I am in the sleep deprivation stage with 15 week old dc3) but it is so precious and Devine having this little being you have created in your arms totally dependent on you and the love will be overwhelming. Although not always love at first sight and not always at 3am in the morning :-). We did miss a little of the 'old us' when we had our first but we adjusted and created the 'new us' and now 3 children later our social life is our children (we have met some wonderful lifelong friends through having children). Good luck and enjoy enjoy enjoy! Nothing beats your previous first born ( I am not jealous!! )

Precious first born !

Smiles, cuddles, watching them learn, rubbing your face over their lovely fuzzy head (maybe that's just me!) It's exhausting, relentless and yes, life changes lots. But it is also the best thing that could ever happen to you!

The first time they do something funny, on purpose, just to make you laugh.

And my absolute favourite things about the first year ( everything really ) but if I had to pick a few - the first proper giggle, the one where they can't stop, first foods - it is such fun watching them learn to eat and making a mess, first words, and the first time they sleep through - pure joy / even if short lived :-)

The milk drunk newborn look.
Giggles - they are awesome!
Watching them grown.

The only weird thing we have encountered is that we have a few friends that have culled us or completely ignore DD as they don't 'do' babies. Their loss.
Otherwise we are more socially active!

Sunday just gone dc2 reached for a hanging toy under her baby gym. It's amazing. All those little 1sts are brillant x dc1 talking away, learning numbers. It's not all bad :-)

Realising that you just did something to react to her personality not just because you are trying everything.

Your first proper connection.

Watching them develop into their own person, seeing their personality shine through. The way they laugh at totally unexpected things. The way they love you and rely on you and you know how to make them happy. When they wake up in the morning they talk happily to themselves then give you the biggest grin when you go and get them up. When they want cuddles, they crawl to you. They make you laugh with their madcap antics. Just watching them go from a helpless baby to a talking, laughing mobile infant.

For me today it's the way my 10 month gives cuddles, arms round me saying awwwww and patting my back!! Occasionally leaning in for a kiss so cute! Newborn bf snuggles are amazing! X

The laugh of pure joy when LO sees/does something they know they like. Bouncing and smiling. Little arms grabbing your legs when they learn to pull up on you. Adorable uncoordinated expressions of the very newborn; the first smile; the first laugh. Endless repetitions of a new sound (when it's a pleasant one!). Giggling in sleep. Reaching out arms for you when you enter a room. They really are amazing. And congrats on your imminent arrival!

The love. Feeling such huge love that would make you destroy anything that tried to harm her. different to any other love, baby just becomes essential to your well being.

Understanding how your mum feels about you.

And when you are feeling sleep deprived, and at the end of your tether, and you're up for the millionth time in the night, you'll get a big grin, and find yourself all happy, and smiling back.

I never realised before that when people have kids, it's not that they can't go out, it's that staying home and spending time with baby is better!

I just wrote a long post then lost it. Damn phone. But its basically everything everyone else has said.

The positives far out-weigh the negatives.

Thanks ladies, that's ace! So much more positive to keep us going.

The noise my daughter makes after she sneezes, like a little surprised sigh. And the smell of her sweet milky breath, swear it makes my heart skip a beat.

I have another one, the way DD rests her little hand on my wrist when she's having her bottle :-) xx

Getting to meet your most favourite person in the world, the love of your life. You can't imagine loving someone like you love this helpless little creature. And you don't mind that they ruined your body on their way to meet you because they're here - you've been waiting all your life to meet them!
Plus the blind love they have for you as newborns, it's just basic and primal and all they need is you and your smell and your warmth and nothing else matters because you are everything to them.
That's pretty nice, even at 3am when you're the only people in the world, just feeding and cuddling.

Falling asleep with their head on your shoulder, mouth slightly open

Lifting their little legs up in their sleep for a fart

Giggling after sneezing

Rubbing their face into your chest when they're tired or a bit shy

Grabbing something, looking at it for one second, and then eagerly putting it in their mouth

I have never been a morning person - it used to take me a good hour to lose the frown and properly wake up. But now my 9mo is sooo happy and excited to see me in the mornings, it's IMPOSSIBLE to be grumpy!

When they wake up and see you in the morning and have the biggest smile in the world!

To be honest, after listening to other parents I was petrified of having a baby, I love my sleep, love going out, love having (childless) friends over.

Well, they were all wrong. I do EVERYTHING I did before, except now everything is better because DD is with us. Just walking around a museum or having a walk in the park is now an exciting outing. We took her out to restaurants with us from birth and even now at 2.4 she behaves perfectly and we eat out with our friends 2-3 times a week.

I have no idea what I did before, I feel like I was just waiting to have a baby so life could get good! (and if you knew me in real life, I never even wanted kids so you can really trust what I'm saying ;))

Nothing is as bad as people say - getting up in the night doesn't last that long and I didn't mind it because I was getting up to grab DD and bring her to bed for a cuddle.

Changing them is actually great, when they're young and you change them they just stare into your eyes the whole time and it's brilliant.

And for everyone that told me I would be walking around my house holding a screaming child despairing, they were wrong. There's always a reason that they cry and you can always fix it!

Congratulations! I'm having DD2 in June and I can't wait!!!

Sorry, that post was really long

Seeing their personality emerging slowly. It's amazing.
Sniffing them, feeling their warmth, feeling their little hand on yours <tingle>
Watching them sleep
The exciting milestones - smiling, babbling, rolling over, crawling, walking. Small things but absolutely thrilling.
Saying "my son," or "my daughter" - surreal!
Taking them out of the bath and drying them, feeling how soft and new they are, just perfect. Squeezing gorgeous baby bums

I know what you mean by those "just you wait..." type comments. I wish so much i'd kept a list of them, to go back to everyone and tell them how full of shit they were!

I had a crash c-section and, even one week after he was born I felt far far happier than I did through pregnancy.

Right now he's snuggled up on my tummy looking utterly adorable.

Yesterday his eyes lit up at his new mobile!

He loves nappy changes as I wiggle his legs in the air when I do it which makes him smile.

I have lots of fun playing dress ups with him - and he doesn't mind! Even though we have mostly second hand clothes I love planning his outfits and he looks really cute.

Every time he is put in the bath he makes the most adorable frown until he remembers that actually he really likes bath time.

My social life has taken off - I'm out every day with various groups an friends (looking forward to having to stay in tomorrow for a courier, actually).

Oh gosh there is just just so much that is amazing and wonderful and endlessly positive.

The way their eyes find you as soon as you enter the room and their little faces when they see you coming to pick them up, their scrummy milky sweet breath when they're sleeping next to you, giggles at all the silly faces you pull, unlimited love all because you're mummy and the centre if their world, the cuddles when they fall asleep on you and you just stare at them and think oh wow you are so precious, little hands all bunched up and resting on you as you feed, snuggles in bed, the smell of their skin, lovely squidgy fat thighs that make them squeal with laughter when you squish them, the truly astonishing rate that they grow up at, watching them learn new things, the faces they pull upon first tasting real food, did I mention the cuddles, I think I'm going on a bit now but you get the idea!

Hard work? Oh yes. Worth it? A million times over.

Congratulations and good luck, the happiest days of your lives are yet to come, and they'll come in the form of a tiny cuddly baby smelling faintly of milk

When my 7 week old first smiled, I welled up. When he wakes up and smiles when he first sees me in the morning. Cuddles and watching him fall asleep in my arms. Oh and he is soooo cute when he has hiccups, even during a wedding ceromony!

When my 7 week old first smiled, I welled up. When he wakes up and smiles when he first sees me in the morning. Cuddles and watching him fall asleep in my arms. Oh and he is soooo cute when he has hiccups, even during a wedding ceromony!

Ignore the naysayers! It's fantastic! My PILs did this all the time "just wait until..." was their mantra. None of it was true and after a horrid pg I thought it was wonderful! It's all lovely and agree with all the things but seeing their personality emerging is literally astonishing, there really is no other baby like them. The giggles, singing to themselves when they wake up (gorgeous!). My dd is also obsessed with blowing raspberries which ate utterly hilarious and is you do it back to her she'll have a whole conversation in raspberry! Quite often when she sings to herself it is interspersed with raspberries. Their breath, watching them sleep, their massive pleasure at really simple things like peek-a-boo. First everything - waving, clapping, and my dd quite often bounces up and down and waves her arms when her toys play music - so cute! Oh you're going to love it! It's really hard to stop and not list more!

My 7 month old just learned to blow raspberries, it's adorable along with everything else she's ever done being a parent is worth giving up everything else

The first time DD at about 22 months waited until DH had got off the sofa/out of bed before scrambling up, taking his place and on his return saying very earnestly (but with a cheeky smile) "no room, Daddy".

When they think you look sad (even if you're not) and say "Mummy sad" then give you the best hug ever.

God, I am jealous of you and the next few years!

Life takes on a whole new, amazing and frankly mind blowing meaning. Your life will take on a far deeper meaning. Having children is the best. Personally, although I would say I had a very happy and fulfilling life previously, I've never been happier since my two little guys came along! Good luck- you're going to love it!

& another one! The little snuffly noises she makes when have a good kick about in the bath!