Back to work - it will be ok, won't it?(30 Posts)
First day back to work on wed after a year off Still on mat leave with dd after a year off and due back to work on Wed. Im ready to join the adult world but feeling really apprehensive and very sad about leaving her 4 days a week... Just looking for words of encouragement to get me through new year without too many tears...
Whoops sorry about the start not sure how to edit!
I am sure everything will be just fine! I went back to work in September after 8 months at home with dd and was dreading it a lot. The first few days were hard but once i settled into the new routine, it was all ok and after a while i had to admit it felt really good to be at work again.
Give yourself time to adjust to the changes and soon you will wonder what you were so worried about!
Is your dd going to nursery while you are at work?
Not only will it be fine, there is a good chance it will be very good and you will enjoy it. I went back to work full time after almost a year off and, like the other posters, did find it a bit difficult at first, but now find going to work enjoyable in a way I didn't before.
Is there anything in particular you are worried about, or is it the whole change?
I was expecting it to be really traumatic but it was actually fine.
Just think - you can go to the loo all by yourself! You can finish a cup of tea whilst it is still hot! And take a lunch break!
hi ichats, im back to work on saturday after over a year off and still breast feeding 9 times a day and every hour through the night...totally dreading leaving my precious dd in the hands of someone else who wont do it MY WAY!!! wondering how sore by boobs will get and just dreading having to get dressed in the morning after suffering quite bad pnd. work seems like a bad joke at the moment.
good luck to you xxx
Thanks all! Dd is going to my mums two days and nursery two days - so a nice balance, and no real concerns there. I think as silly as it sounds my main worries are that I won't have such a special bond with dd and somehow the changes will alter her funny quirky personality. Also that I will be tired all the time and not enjoy dd, my job is quite demanding so will battle to keep a good work/life balance..
Good luck to you too Gem33, hope it goes ok!
It will be OK! I am back to work after 15 months away (mat leave for 12 months, then accumulated leave and bank hold) with DC2. Going back after DC1 was a doddle and I appreciated the break. This time I am not so sure. It's not the work, it's the mornings and evenings - my office has moved, increasing my commute by an hour and has no car park; DH used to work 10 mons from home, now an hour away (was made redundant last year), and until DS goes to school we won't even break even.
Bikerun sounds rubbish - can yr work be flexible with your hours?
I already work flexi time, but with the new commute I am not sure how I am going to get my hours in. 8 hours work + 2 hours commute = 11 hours, nursery is open for 10. DH is a site manager and is contracted to work "as site hours demand" (read 12 hours a day and Saturdays).
bikerun, flippin heck that sounds bloody hard. have you thought about changing jobs? could you find something closer? I think about doing something different every day the closer it gets to going back because i have to do shift work and it makes me extremely tired and i dont think dd will be able to get into a routine because my shifts change so much. I often wonder how much we would bring home if we gave up work.
I really admire you for doing what you are doing, I could not bear to travel an hour to work and then have no where to park nearby, the stress of that would finish me off! you deserve a medal!
Hi Gem,I'm interested in how you are going to work whilst bf regularly especially the night feeds!
Genuine question as just interested in your options really and how your employer is going to support you
hey bluefrogs - - honest answer- I have no idea. my baby is nearly 13 months now so she should be eating more solids and she really does not need the night feeds its purely comfort as we have got into such a bad boob sleep association it needs breaking so i think night shifts will help because dh will just have to cope.
I'll have to decrease gradually. Work are supposed to give me a room to express but there isnt anywhere suitable so they have said i can go home to feed baby/express or have her brought to where i work. I dont know how often I'll have to empty yet as we've never been apart. DD wont like it but she really needs to drop some feeds. its just the whole shift thing and not being able to get into a routine that concerns me. (and the fact that i work in so many different places i dont know how work will guarantee i can get home to express but thats their problem because when i need to go i'll be going no matter what. my health is more important than work thats for sure.)
Its going to be tough until she adjusts but it really needs to happen. Im feeling so tied down to her as i have still never left her with anyone for any length of time. With me around all day every day she just guzzles boobmilk 24/7.
are you b'fing?
Gem,no I'm not bf,I have got 2 yr old twins and I formula fed them but I guess that's why I was interested because I wondered what the practicalities were regarding that.
I work full time and went back when the twins were 8 months old,hard work yes but by that point I was ready to go back!
It will be hard,and I know the name isn't popular in here but I did use Gina ford as a guide and a reference point to getting into a routine-crucial for us as we would never have got anything done otherwise!
Personally I found it easier to go to work when they were very little,it's getting harder now as they are such characters and they ask where I'm going but long term it really is for the best for us I feel.
Who is going to look after your dd?
GEM, I haven't started it yet, I will just have to see how it goes. I am basically only going back now to keep me in a job. I am very specialist in a profession with him unemployment at the moment. I do also really like my job!
The office move was only 3 miles - its just that that's the difference between being on the outskirts of Leeds, easy road access from "my side" and being in the city centre and having to travel on one of the most congested bits of motorway in the country. . Then fight for public parking.
good luck bikerunski! sorry ichat i didnt mean to hijack your thread. mm there is a big difference when you enjoy your job eh?! I hate mine at the best of times!!
bluefrog - my dh is going to look after dd as he is self employed and he 'll just have to work around me. when she is better used to being without me i might think about leaving her with nursery or other family members.
im just listening to her screaming for me now as this is the first night dh is trying to get her to sleep.. its not going well.
Gem33 - my on demand BF 10mth old adapted instantly to no milk just water in day f/t at nursery. I did one week of dont offer but dont refuse. It was fine. She feeds on demand around me now at 13mths. Please dont worry too much. They are very creative adaptable souls.
OP you will be fine. You may even enjoy it. Meal plans and be organised. Try and bath every other night (impossible for us as we BLW). Dont try and keep up with everyone and expectations. Drop your standards on housework too!
OP, I understand how you're feeling, I'm back to work on Monday after 6 months mat leave, leaving 5 month old DS with a childminder 3 days and my MIL 1 day a week. I love my job but I'm going to miss my DS so much, every time I think about it I have a wobbly moment. I keep desperately trying to think if there is any way I can extend my leave, but there isn't. I find it really hard to think that I won't be able to see his little face whenever I want to, and I know he'll wonder where I am too. Sorry, that's probably just made it worse hasn't it. You're not alone though, hope you'll be ok.
So it's tomorrow - feeling sick to my stomach - good to know there might be light at the end of the tunnel!
Lchats and GEM33 - good luck tommorow. I have been weepy all evening. I went to get my work bag and found the spare knickers I used to carry around when I was pg. It suddenly hit me how long it has been since I was there.
Good luck all, will be looking out for updates of how you get on as I'm back to work soon and have nursery settling in sessions this week
Good luck iChat's! I had a shock today when my supervisor text to say hi see you tomorrow...forgetting I have dropped a few shifts so not back until sat. Let us know how you get on iChat's xxxx
Bikerunski, ha I wondered what you were going to say when I started reading about spare knickers in your bag!! I know it is so hard to think how long we have had off from work. I don't know about your job but mine changes computer systems and procedures all the time so I'm not going to know what the hell I'm doing for a few weeks. My biggest worry is night shifts and how dd will get to sleep and how my partner will cope with the hourly wakings when she is screaming for me. He tried and failed to get h to sleep last night.
Will be fine - kids love nursery and playing with other kids. Good network as they grow up. Plus kids don't stay babies forever so you need to have a life post kids. I have to go back beg feb after dd3. Gr8 u could take the year off. I've only managed 7 months this time due to finance : o (
You will be fine and will survive, though you will have ups and downs. Going back wasnt as bad as I feared, but there are still times I get sad, like now when i've spent so much time with DS over Christmas. I went back last August and DS is now 2. I had some tears tonight at the thought of missing him tomorrow, though I'm looking forward to the break. Toddlers are hard work!
I'm sure you'll be fine - my little one thrives on other people's company and I know that he's going to enjoy being around other children while I'm at work. You'll probably notice a positive difference in your child. It will get easier, buy yourself a treat at lunchtime to help you get through the day x
Hi all thx so much for the lovely messages - well we survived day 1 and as you all said the antcipation is worse than the reality I still feel sick about tom and the next day buy not nearly as badly. Work was ok could to be using my brain again although really tired now and b she was ok too, cried a lot but had more moments of happiness at nursery and gave me a big smile when I went and collected her. She is with my mum tomorrow so hopefully they will both enjoy that. Not sure it's going to be great but I can see we will
Manage think I'll be mess for next week!
Why do we have to make so many compromises and suffer so many hardships (I.e bfeeding!) as a mum!
Well done ichats glad to hear all went well. I'm using a mixture of grandparents and nursery for childcare too. Dd will be going to my mums one day then my MIL coming here another day. I'm just a tiny bit freaked out about having MIL in my house without me though! Worried she might clean (which would make me feel bad) or poke through out stuff....!
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