I've just remembered something excruciatingly PFB. Can we have a confessional, please?

(98 Posts)
PixieOnaLeaf Sat 19-Jun-10 22:24:08

When DD1 first started school, I left her teacher with a list on the first day, which DH has just found a copy of whilst looking through some old Floppy Disks. It stated that DD1 was to:

1. Only drink the bottled water provided for her.

2. Not use a knife at dinner time lest she cut herself.

3. Be allowed to come inside at lunchtime if she found playing too tiring.

4. Sit near the window so that natural light lit her work and she didn't strain her eyes.

hmmblush

I wish I was making this up, but I really am not. I am mortified, and wish I was still in contact with her Reception teacher so that I could apologise. I bet they had such a laugh in the staffroom. . .

Please say you've been as bad!

hahahahahahahahahahahahahaha

<weeps>

cyteen Sat 19-Jun-10 22:26:16

mahahahahahahaha

No.

misdee Sat 19-Jun-10 22:26:28

pmsl!!!

AnnaBafana Sat 19-Jun-10 22:26:29

I used to keep a spreadsheet (an actual Excel spreadsheet) of what my PFB ate/drank and when he napped and went to the loo (including differentiating between poos and wees). I kept it for about 6 months.

No wonder I collapsed with PND at around that point! confused

5inthebackofthenet Sat 19-Jun-10 22:26:49

Oh bless you!

I sent DS1 to school with a bag of food, and specified that he ate every two hours, as that is what he did at home even at the age of three blush.

Shaz10 Sat 19-Jun-10 22:27:11

Teacher Shaz can imagine her reaction to that list turning up on the first day of term!!

I've not done anything like that but there's plenty of time...

Shaz10 Sat 19-Jun-10 22:27:12

Teacher Shaz can imagine her reaction to that list turning up on the first day of term!!

I've not done anything like that but there's plenty of time...

hormonesnomore Sat 19-Jun-10 22:33:19

"Please say you've been as bad!"

Absolutely not! - I gratefully handed her over to the teacher and legged it out the door.

You know you are were a loon grin

helyg Sat 19-Jun-10 22:33:25

I went back to work when my PFB was 5 months old. My mum and my MIL took it in turns to look after him. Every morning I wrote out an A4 sheet of detailed instructions, including exact nap times, suggested activities (libarary! toddler group! walk in the woods! park!... he was 5 months old FFS), which cubes of mush puree to feed him etc. Every bloody morning. As though my mum and MIL hadn't brought up 6 children between them.

Although to be fair I had packed in this rubbish by the time he started in Reception grin

frasersmummy Sat 19-Jun-10 22:34:03

OOH I did that spreadsheet thing too.. the mws made me start it in hospital so I thought it was normal blush

I gave all babysitters a timetable of events eg 11.45am lunch .. like he was going to starve if he didnt get fed till 12pm grin

QOD Sat 19-Jun-10 22:40:01

I sent my dd to a party at about age 6 with a list of what she would eat from each fast food establishment. They were going to cinema then one of the food places (tba)
My list for the kfc included removing the skin and taking all bones & veins off!!
Oh how all the other parents of 2 kids laughed at me

funnysinthegarden Sat 19-Jun-10 22:43:43

naaaaa, sorry. The moment my PFB went to his childminder aged 4 months, I shed a small tear and then went skipping down the road to wok. Sorry and all that for being a shit PFBMother

PixieOnaLeaf Sat 19-Jun-10 22:46:33

QOD - I get a few hmm looks for doing that with DS now! His allergy kind of means I have to, though. . .

NonnoMum Sat 19-Jun-10 22:47:55

Haven't rofld as much for a long time...

Playing is SOOO tiring for children, don't you think?

Valpollicella Sat 19-Jun-10 22:52:17

Ha I did some weird, crazy PFB stuff but have grown out of it thankfully...DS has been running ferally outside all of today with no shoes on....Rewind 4 years and I would have been <cats bum mouthing> at anyone who just let them run about

cupcakesinthesnow Sat 19-Jun-10 22:56:14

NOt so much PFB but along with my absurdly detailed birth plan, I also had 2 A4 pages of notes for DH regarding what to do while I laboured at home detailing how to run by baths using specific aroma oils etc and best of all how to get the house ready for me on my return home with newborn from hospital This included such gems as 'make sure the house has been aired out thoroughly by opening up the bi fold doors and all windows.....but be sure to checkt he house for bees or flies that may have come intot he house during airing and remove them before coming to get me.....fresh flowers must be white or cream (and no gerberas)and fridge must be stocked with variety of fresh juices - from chilled section of suoermarket not the ones made from concentrate, fresh fruits and vegetables.

I also provided him with a list of who he shoudl call and in exactly what order to announce the birth even telling him what to say with .......for info I did not yet know ie time and babies weight.'

I found these notes on the pc when sorting out and deleting old files and cringed at my own preciousness! Amazing the poor man did not use the chance while I was in hospital to escape from me! I hasten to add he actually ignored all the notes and obviously I didnt even notice once I arrived home exhausted and in awe of my newborn after a 48 hour labour. Far too much time n my hands in the last weeks ofpregnany grin

helyg Sat 19-Jun-10 22:59:27

cupcakes I left a list like that for DH too, and bless him he followed the list to teh letter!

muminthecity Sat 19-Jun-10 23:04:56

My mum reminded me recently how I used to pounce on people as soon as they entered the house when DD was little and instruct them to go to the bathroom and wash their hands thoroughly, dry them and then apply alcohol gel before I would allow them to so much as look at the baby. I cringe at myself now blush

bibbitybobbityhat Sat 19-Jun-10 23:10:39

PMSL Cupcakes. You could have given Mariah Carey and her infamous dressing room riders a run for their money ...

sarah293 Sun 20-Jun-10 07:23:14

I'm still laughing at the 'sit near the window for natural light' grin

chiccadee Sun 20-Jun-10 07:40:26

Been having a rough day but this has really made me laugh! Absoutely brilliant.

QualityTime Sun 20-Jun-10 08:03:32

HAhahahahaha

Makes me feel so much better for leaving an A4 page of 'instructions' for DD1 when I was heavily pregnant with DD2.
We didn't know who would be watching her or when they would be needed so I wrote out her favourite foods/drinks, which toys she needs to sleep and where her stuff was.
Acually, considering she was only 20 months, and we had friends on standby who didn't know her tha's not even that badgrin

GiddyPickle Sun 20-Jun-10 10:33:47

Ooooh dear - I fear I had it pretty bad with DS (my PFB):

* organic everything (bath products ordered from abroad, baby gros, vests, bedding - everything)

* sterilised every eating or drinking utensil for...3 years!

* trips to galleries and art exhibitions from 5 months old (HV told me babies need culture and stimulation. DS mainly slept or wailed while I tried to negotiate a pram on the underground or around small specialist exhibitions)

* cleanliness to the extreme (all guests had to wash hands and all germy people were avoided)

* I too had spreadsheets on bowel movements, feeding times, nap times.

* Pre birth reading of books and playing of music to the unborn baby for urm brain development I think.

* Sourcing and steaming every weird and wonderful vegetable to ensure he got used to a variety of flavours

* No nuts or any potential allergens

.....that's by no means the whole list. There was just soooooo much. I read every book, all the latest research on everything from preventing SIDS to worries about future tooth decay to how to ensure his motor skills developed correctly

When my DD was born I kept up the same routine for about 3 months, decided it was nuts unneccessary and exhausting and she's not had so much as a sniff of organic bath product or a tour round a gallery since!

justaboutblowingbubbles Sun 20-Jun-10 10:36:40

Well I confess I did write a letter of "useful ways to discipline my son" but that was after being asked what on earth I did at home to manage him, because they were failing!

He seems to have survived, I think I just told them to come down heavy and not take any nonsense, he's now doing fine smile

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