Bad bad bad day,....need a rant and some advice pleaseeeeeeee

[Hermione1]

my ds2 has always been difficult and i thought we were on our way to getting closer to each other these past few years, (he's 5) But today and the last couple of days he has really pushed my patience to the limit and i ended up snapping early evening today. I ask him to do something or get something and he just acts like i haven't said anything, so i'll say it again and he quite rudely says 'no' or whines or pretends to cry. This morning i asked him to find his school trousers because he took them off last night and couldn't find them. that lasted 30 mins of him crying and me shouting. I felt awful so on the walk to school i told him that i loved him even though i got angry with him.
This evening i asked him to finish his mash potatoe (hes a fussy eater) and he had hardly any to start with, and he said no, but wanted pudding, but i said no because he hadn't eaten his dinner. so he started whinging and i told him to go off to bed, he said no no no no i won't. i thought i would have a talk to him about his behaviour and asked him to come over to where i was sitting, he refused and started laughong at me. I lost my temper and shouted that i wasn't playing games and that i had had enough of his behaviour today. sent him upstaires while i am in tears and don't konw how to deal with him. He acts like he's a teenager and he's only five. Spoke to my mum on the phone about it and it made me feel better. Decided to do house rules and they will get 20p a day and if naughty or don't do something when asked i will take 2p away. Do you think that is a good way of trying to get better behaviour, because i know shouting and smacking don't work, just make things worse.

Sorry rant over.

[Chandra]

Don't feel bad about yourself, we all have days when we feel like we can snap with any further provocation. What works for me is to leave the room when I feel I'm about to explode (which gives DS sometime to calm himself a bit as well).

If you feel he is trying to irritate you, ignore him, paying attention or snapping back may make the thing worse (DS have fits of laughter if I scream to him, and then I can't stop him screaming to me as I set up the example )The house rules is a great idea. Good luck, lets take one day at a time and hope it works for the two of us

[Hermione1]

thanks chandra, i know now that you do get days like this, but at the time i was so cross, i couldn't see that.
it does irritate me when he laughs when i tell him off.

[kgc]

Hi Hermione1, I had a day like this today with my three year old wild child who has decided that her latest craze along with plenty of others is to be a nudist!! She seems to be perfectly happy in her birthday suit and I struggled to keep my composure as she decided to horrify shoppers and staff alike in tesco by doing a strip tease, I was so embarrased and had some people tutting I was upset I started shouting and also getting upset with the "tutters" I fled and left the shopping and as soon as wild child started my other three kicked off so I was sitting in the car in tears whilst my wild child was screaming because I had put her clothes back on!! I got home stuck her in her bedroom and promptly phoned my nan for some support as DH was working......felt loads better and as a result DD calmed down. It really is the hardest job in the world isn't it...........but I do think that the money rule you have introduced is a good idea and hope it works for you......

[Hermione1]

thanks kdg sorry you had a bad day too, my two used to always take their shoes off, drove me nuts. hope you have a better day tommorow.

[Hermione1]

completely spelled your name wrong there sorry.

[Tortington]

sounds like a normal day to me!

scummy mummy does an incentive scheme she got from another mnetter which involves pasta in a jar - each piece of pasta = 10p ( or whatever) but they start with 5 pieces in the jar and then when they are naughty you take one out - if they are good - you put one in and give them the money a the end of the week

sounds great idea to me

[Hermione1]

thats a brilliant idea, i won't have to worry about having lodes of two pences, lol. fantastico!!!

[kgc]

Thats ok LOL.......hope you you have a better day tomorrow too Hermione1

[FIMAC1]

Hermione1

Ds can tend to be like this (7) but usually when he is tired - recently had anemia diagnosed and he is much better since his daily medicine, but also - is your ds at school? Mine is totally shattered at the moment and could have done with breaking up from school weeks ago - youngest in the year and is struggling through the last few weeks so lots of 'bad' behaviour which have been followed up by very early bed-times -

Otherwise if its not that, removing a favourite treat or item usually has some effect - Good luck! Hopefully it is the end of term melt-down probs!

[kgc]

hey Hermione1 I am still up and chilling out now DH home and feeling bit better now...but tommorrow...who knows!!! hope that you okay and feeling bit better