ZOMBIE THREAD ALERT: This thread hasn't been posted on for a while.
I snapped at DS in Gap the other day "will you STOP messing around please, this isn't a playground". it wasn't DS [shock](119 Posts)
Same height, same pea-green coat, same blonde hair.
He looked at me fearfully
His Dad GLARED at me
I stuttered, giggled, blushed adn pointed at my own DS and the man just huffed off. Silly twat!
Love this thread. I had similar bum tweaking experience when dd was 5 wks old. Had texted best mate to ask if ok to call as I was on mat leave and she busy at work. She replied saying yes sure am working from home call me there.. Anyway, called her home number and as soon as she said hi started wailing about being knackered, having sore boobs, how hard bm is etc until this voice said.. "are you crying"??. I had called the wrong number and let rip to some complete stranger.. I was mortified ! She went on to softly ask how old dd was, and tell me she had three dc's, one of which was also young and that bm was hard but would get better and having dc's is amazing and to try and enjoy it. Although i was so touched by her kindness I was just too embarrassed to speak and could only think of getting off the phone. My DH thought it was the funniest thing ever and told all his work colleugues. v v embarrassing. I often think of that woman now and wonder how she is getting on...
Last night I was making tea when I heard DS wander into the kitchen. He'd been playing up all evening so I just yelled 'What have I told you tonight? DO NOT come into the kitchen while I am making tea! It is hot and it is dangerous. Go and sit down NOW'
Looked round to see the dog standing by her food bowl giving me a very confused look
We went to the wrong wedding reception. Ate their food, appeared in their wedding video... I think I've posted about it before.
We just walked in saying "the bride's side" when asked who we were there for.
We did wonder why we hadn't seen anyone we knew but it was a big wedding so it took a while to click.
Then we drove 2 minutes down the road to the next venue.
We used to go Eurocamping when we were kids. Obviously there were rows and rows of identical tents. My sister and I once came back from a late night trip to the wash block, unzipped some poor Dutch family's tent and went to lie down with them in the dark. Oops.
One morning when I was about 16 or 17 I heard my mum in the hall about to leave the house. She'd said the evening before that she'd give me a lift into town, and I thought she was going early without me - I'd only just got up and I wasn't ready to go, still in pj's etc. So I ran down the corridor and sprang wildly into the hallway bellowing "WHERE ARE YOU RUNNING OFF TO?"
It wasn't my mum, of course, but a nurse who
had come in to help my elderly grandmother, who lived with us get dressed - they always used to let themselves in and out quietly so as not to disturb the rest of the family.
To make it worse, it was this particular nurse's first day, she jumped nervously when I leapt out on her, and started explaining herself.
I was too shocked myself to attempt explanations, so just waved my hand and said, "fine, carry on, carry on"
Well this isn't about people but a couple of years ago, I saw some clampers about to clamp my car in the flat car park. I shouted down that I had a resident ticket
Dh ran downstairs with he ticket but returned a couple of minutes later saying "They have clamped it" and grabbed some money to pay for the car to be released. He went down to pay
When I had dressed and gone down later, it became clear that the clampers had heard me and gone on to clamp another car. DH had arrived to see them clamping this other car , thought it was ours and had and paid them to release it.
Dh had paid £80 for SOMEONELSE'S CAR to be unclamped
In dh's defence our car at the time was a courtesy car so not our normal one but it was blue, the clamped car was red!!
Brilliant, PantryBoy, that's the only thing that could have made it better!
I spent ages trying to open the door of a silver golf in a car park. A man came up and asked what I was doing trying to get into his car.
Apologised profusely, while explaining that we had identical cars.
I then opened the maroon polo parked alongside him and drove off.
He stood and glared at me in disbelief.
What I hadn't explained to him was the silver golf was at home.
Ds2 has football training 3 times a week, along with 4 of his freinds who stay very close to us. So all 4 of us mums take it in turns to do the runs.
Last wed was my turn to do the run home. Standing in sports hall trying to round up all 4 boys. One of them starts towards the door out, so I run after him and catch his hand and tell him 'x, I'm dropping you home tonight'. He looks confused, and the man standing him next to him says 'i'll take him'. I pull X behind me and turn on this man and say 'excuse me, I'm picking him up for his mother. He's coming with me'. Again he says 'It's ok- I'll take him'. I start getting stroppy and say 'who the hell do you think you are?'
Hushed silence from all the other parents. Ds chooses that moment to tell me in a loud stage whisper 'Mum, thats X's DAD'
(Well I had only met him once before and it was ages ago )
not long after my mum and dad moved house, i rang them up.
my mum and i have this thing where we say "hello" in funny voices for ages before we start a conversation.
anyway, so i'm doing this over the phone and i can sense she's getting agitated. then I get "is anyone there? can you hear me?"
it wasn't my mum. i'd dialled the number incorrectly, so i was playing the game with some poor old dear.
but she was very understanding when i explained...
...Should add, he was actually hideously embarrassed. Just think it might have come across rather differently...
My friend's been having trouble with the car lock being stiff in the cold weather. Out with a group of friends the other day, popped to supermarket to get some stuff. We went back to the car, friend puts the key in the lock, it won't turn. A minute or so later he starts getting quite cross with it, while we wait freezing our arses off not really looking at the car. Finally another friend looks down at where the back door handle should be, loud "ummmm"...cue us all looking down full into the faces of a family quietly eating pies and looking absolutely petrified. Worst thing was that all four of us ducked down to stare at them at the same time and instead of apologising or looking shocked, immediately fell about laughing in their faces.
Friend then insisted on driving past hooting and waving "to show them we've got the same colour car". Of course.
Ha ha this thread is a classic.
I have done similar by yelling at other small children in the supermarket.
The very worst though has to be when I went to Glastonbury age 17 with college friends and their extended group of friends.
We set up a big circle of tents with a fire in the middle, very nice. I then managed to get lost in the crown, made it back to our 'pitch' sat and drank wine, laughed, smoked etc and crashed out in my tent.
I was then very shocked to wake up next to a random girl who asked me whose friend I was. I was in a different field and had gatecrashed a party and slept in someone elses tent. Oh the shame.
I outside the post office the other day and a man came out, got into a silver car with two children in the back, put his key in, and then SCREAMED
then he got out and got into the next silver car which had NO children in it
We used to have a cat that was always climbing in and out through the windows, which wound my Mum up as it made them dirty.
One day she could hear some scrabbling coming from the window in the next room, so she shouted out: "Will you just get down from that window!!"
It was the window cleaner....
When I was a toddler I was eating a sandwich at a grown-up party, decided I didn't like it and went up to my mum's cousin, grabbed his hand and spat the soggy, half-chewed sandwich onto his palm. Luckily he has 2 DC of his own...
Not as good as some of these but, in the same spirit ...
I was out with a newish friend, and we both needed groceries, so we stopped. Wandered around the shop separately, then I spotted him, came up, looked in his basket, which was full of white bread and processed food, rather the vegetables, miso soup, and brown rice that I expected. I said 'God, you eat crap!'.
It wasn't him. He was wearing a green retro parka ironically, this old bloke was wearing it sincerely.
When I was a student I lived in university flats. Me and my flatmates had been in trouble with the warden for being noisy a few times, so we needed to keep him sweet. We lived on the first floor and he lived above. We were very friendly with the boys on the top floor, 2 floors above us.
So one day I ran up the 2 flights of stairs and straight into the boys' flat shouting at the top of my voice "HI YOU TOSSERS!!"
My mistake being that I had actually been on the ground floor and 2 floors up from there was the warden's flat....
In the supermarket recently, dd2 who is 5, was looking at the children's dvds. A woman had come and stood directly behind her, and dd had leaned back against the womans legs and pulled the sides of the woman's long coat around herself so she was INSIDE the woman's coat. I glanced up to see dds legs sticking out of a strange woman's coat and dd1 shrieking with laughter. The woman was tryign to open her coat but dd was resisting until I called her name and she shot out looking petrified at realising she had made a tent out of a stranger.
I love this thread.
Got to go - the gasman cometh!
The school carpool I was in as a child climbed into a maroon mini in the car park. After about 10 minutes we realized it wasn't one of our mothers' cars but that of the local priest (convent school). The rosary hanging off the rearview mirror should have given us a clue.
We all had to climb out again in front of about 40 bemused parents and go and find the right car.
I was in the gym working out on the rower. I was getting competitive with myself so was working very hard. DH came up and spoke to me about noting. A minute later he returns to tell me something equally inane.
A minute later I am tapped on the shoulder and I let out a 'why don't you just fuck off, I'm sweating like a pig and all you want to do is tell me something useless'.
It was not DH, but a parent of a child that I taught in school
TheQuibbler eating that poor blokes cake had me crying!
No where near as entertaining as some of the stories on here but once when DS was a newborn I was browsing the baby clothes in next to then turn around and see some older lady casually walking off with him in his pram, when I grabbed the handle, the woman was mortified bless her, she kept babbling about she thought the handle felt funny and she wasnt trying to to snatch him. I felt awful for her!
Oh I once called my teacher Dad.
I was 15... Im going to my 10 year school reunion this year wonder how long it will take before someone mentions it.
my children have all on occassion walked off with someone else thinking it was me....i'm still wondering if they were trying to tell me something
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