I snapped at DS in Gap the other day "will you STOP messing around please, this isn't a playground". it wasn't DS [shock]

(119 Posts)
MamaG Fri 15-Jan-10 22:09:11

Same height, same pea-green coat, same blonde hair.

He looked at me fearfully
His Dad GLARED at me

I stuttered, giggled, blushed adn pointed at my own DS and the man just huffed off. Silly twat!

heQet Fri 15-Jan-10 22:09:51

hee hee.

I'm sure he deserved it.

smile

ha! i love it

KittyNotVengefulAnymore Fri 15-Jan-10 22:13:03

Excellent!!! grin

MamaG Fri 15-Jan-10 22:13:39

it sort of reminds me - whenm DH and I were pre-DC we were on holiday in Hong Kong <quick preen> and I'd put our bottle of water down. DH picked up SOMEBODY ELSE'S bottle and drank from it.

I CRIED with laughter, in fact I just spluttered again jsut thinking about it - DH thinks I am ver ver childish grin

differentID Fri 15-Jan-10 22:15:21

Nothing worng with childish on occasiongrin

Chuffinnora Fri 15-Jan-10 22:19:13

I told DD off for saying something a bit unkind when we were out with friends. The silence made me look up to see DD wasn't there and I'd told off my friends DD. I swear they have the exact same voice. blush

Was an awkward moment as I'd clearly demonstrated my distaste for her comments when her mum hadn't said anything.

MamaG Fri 15-Jan-10 22:23:58

LOL chuff!

Dumbledoresgirl Fri 15-Jan-10 22:24:57

Fantastic! The world would be a better place if this happened more often.

That said, during the recent school closures, our house and garden was a bit of a magnet for a whole hoard of my kids' friends. When for the 50th time one of them (I thought it was one of mine) left the back door open and let the freezing air in, I shouted something along the lines of "FGS shut the <bleep> door!" and then saw I was saying this to a child not of my loins, I was a bit embarrassed. For a moment.

grin

I have done similar, I was once in a shop looking at something, and not really concentrating, when I heard DD say "Can I have that?" and I said "Can I have that PLEASE"

Then realised I didn't even have DD with me and it was just a random child blush I also got a look from the parent grin

cornsilkscatholichamster Fri 15-Jan-10 22:28:06

I once told ds to take care not to bump into a little girl at the playground. Little girl's dad had a go at me - 'Oh! You mean not like her brother who has just pushed past her?' No I didn't mean that twat head. Sadly I didn't actually say that.

frasersmummy Fri 15-Jan-10 22:30:31

at least your dc was there at these times..

I went supermaret shopping when ds was months old .. except I left him with gran

I was in the supermarket and a little one started crying... without looing round I started jiggling the trolley and saying yeah I know you need a nap ..

turned round to find my empty trolley and mum with upset little one looking at me like I was mad - which clearly I was

blush

MsSpentYoof Fri 15-Jan-10 22:34:45

MamaG, I accidentally drank a mans drink in the cinema once, my friend had noticed but found it amusing so hadn't told me, I was so blush when I realised, my friend is still tickled by that too, along with the fact we both kept screaming at the film - texas chain saw massacre blush I was a very senitive 17yo blush

Cicatrice Fri 15-Jan-10 22:39:42

I was in children's shoe shop when I felt a little person biting my bum. As DS was prone to doing that, I wasn't bothered - till I saw him at the other side of the shop with his dad.

The little lad who had been biting my bum was horrified when I turned round, and wasn't his mum. He fell over on his bum and sat in complete stunned silence.

His mother, on the other hand was most entertained by the whole thing and cackled heartlessly.

Before I had children I would not have been so blase about anybody biting my bum!

LilRedWG Fri 15-Jan-10 22:55:18

Many, many, years ago SIL (about 3YO)wandered up to a man in her Dad's football club and put her arms up to be picked up by her Dad. He obligingly lifted her onto his lap and she was quite happy until she spotted her Dad on the other side of the room and turned slowly and screamed heartily at the poor chap who'd kindly picked her up.

Ohh Cicatrice, that made me laugh out loud!!

NonVinaigretteRien Fri 15-Jan-10 23:19:35

Arf at Cicatrice. When I was five, I held another mother's hand cos my mum and this woman had similar coats. I bet that kid never forgets your bum!

meltedchocolate Fri 15-Jan-10 23:22:39

hahaha

Chuffinnora Fri 15-Jan-10 23:24:05

Lilred - that had reminded me of the time I was out with my dad at an indoor market. I was twirling about and went the other way around a pillar from dad. I grabbed his hand and walked on.

I will never forget the horror I felt when I realised the hand I was holding was not my dads.
The poor bloke I grabbed didn't know what to do. (This was in the 70's) I burst into tears and full panic.

Dad was a few steps behind wondering where I had gone - he soon heard me!

catinthehat2 Fri 15-Jan-10 23:40:32

I was at an airport sandwich bar ordering my coffee. After I had paid, I grabbed the handle of the pushchair in order to get a seat for us, but a young couple wouldn't let me get by. I was not amused, carrying hot coffee, packages and trying to push the toddler. I got a bit cross as they really would not let me past at all and were saying something to me possibly in AustroHungarian, and they looked at bit shocked at my attitude.

It took some time for them to get the English words out for " Would you mind not stealing our child, yours is over there you mad bint"

I accidently told a mum off very sternly today. saw some kids kicking loads of ice on to a road that had just been cleared. couldnt catch up with them. then saw what I thought was a group of kids trying to block a drain with snow that was at a corner that floods every time it rains. didnt want it freezing all flooded cos our road is hellish. so I told them to stop blocking the drain. they turned round and one was a parent I know. oops.

Twice I have grabbed the wrong hand. The first time I tried to encourage a dwarf out of a toy shop, the second was a 70 odd year old woman outside a church. it was dark and she was the same height as dd.

Georgimama Sat 16-Jan-10 06:23:50

Is it wrong to have laughed so hard at kreecher's post that I have cricked my neck? Ow.

cumbria81 Sat 16-Jan-10 06:46:00

When I was a child and ran up to a man in a wax jacket I believed was my father and gave him a huge hug. Only to look up and realise it wasn't....

Georgimama Sat 16-Jan-10 07:00:18

I've just returned to this thread, re-read kreecher's post and tea has shot out of my nose. Help me. I just have such a vivid mental image of her forcefully taking a dwarf by the hand to "encourage" her out of the shop. Sorry. Immature.

FanjoForTheMammaries Sat 16-Jan-10 08:10:16

If Kreecher does not win quote of the week it will be a travesty! grin

nighbynight Sat 16-Jan-10 08:14:54

If the child behaving badly was one of mine, I would have been grateful to you, as I get very tired of repeating these very words.

dilemma456 Sat 16-Jan-10 08:29:30

Message withdrawn

dilemma456 Sat 16-Jan-10 08:32:52

Message withdrawn

MamaG Sat 16-Jan-10 22:27:23

i would ROFL if someone did something to me accidentally

SixtyFootDoll Sat 16-Jan-10 22:32:52

PMSL at Kreecher and hte dwarf!!!

Kreecher- you've made my night smile

Chuff- did exactly the same thing.Grabbed the wrong mans hand, thinking it was my dad. I must have been about 5 too. 30 years on I can still 'feel' the embarrasment,shock etc (verysensitivechildemotion}

UnquietDad Sat 16-Jan-10 22:36:12

At the age of fourteen - fourteen - I was on holiday with my parents in Scotland, staying in a hotel. One morning I got up later than them, and so they went down to breakfast while I had my shower. (Brother and sister much older than me so they hadn't come.)

When I got down to the dining room I headed for their table, in my own little world, and sat down. I heard the waitress saying something about there being "more room over here, dear", and looked up - to realise I had sat at a strange couple's table. My parents were waiting for me in Reception.

ROFL at Kreecher

Habbibu Sat 16-Jan-10 22:48:12

Oh, I am crying at cicatrice and kreecher. This thread needs to come out of Chat quickly.

cyteen Sat 16-Jan-10 22:58:26

My twentysomething brother had his arse groped and sweet nothings whispered in his ear by a bloke whose girlfriend was unluckily sporting the exact same suede jacket, blue jeans and long ponytail combo grin The guy was totally mortified, stood there like a lemon while his girlfriend pissed herself laughing in the background. It didn't help that this happened on a 36 hour ferry journey so they all kept bumping into each other, hahahahaaaa.

MamaG Sat 16-Jan-10 23:00:15

My Dad once picked me up from work and I got int eh car, put on my seatblet, changed the radio channel and started talking. Then i looked at the man staring at me aghast. I got out of the car and saw my dad parked behind in an identical car witha WTF face

MmeLindt Sat 16-Jan-10 23:00:35

ROFL at Kreecher and Cicatrice.

<wipes tears away>

Encourage a dwarf...

wahahahhahaha

MmeLindt Sat 16-Jan-10 23:02:35

DH once helped himself to some chopped up sausage on the butchers counter, thinking it was a sample. The woman next to him in the queue said in a very annoyed voice, 'Do you mind? That is my lunch'

MamaG Sat 16-Jan-10 23:03:27

That is so funny Mme

That is just my sense of humour!

Alambil Sat 16-Jan-10 23:04:50

pmsl cyteen

Alambil Sat 16-Jan-10 23:06:06

I am crying with laughter

Habbibu Sat 16-Jan-10 23:06:25

A fried of mine is a portrait painter, and was exhibiting some paintings at an art fair. She was approached by a man, who very excitedly pointed at one painting, and said "That's me, you've painted me". The picture, dear readers, was of ME.

MinnieMummy Sat 16-Jan-10 23:06:45

Kreecher I am literally crying with laughter, am pg and it's making my bump twitch with the convulsions!
Funniest MN thread in aaages...

Rhian82 Sat 16-Jan-10 23:11:11

DS ran up to a woman at nursery who from behind looked like his favourite carer (brown hair, ponytail). When she turned round and he saw it wasn't her he got upset, then spent the rest of the morning glaring at her for having the nerve to not be Sarah

cyteen Sun 17-Jan-10 08:20:56

Oh Habbibu grin

<weeps with laughter>

MrsMattie Sun 17-Jan-10 08:29:15

No word of a lie - I had a lengthy conversation with DH in Boots once about whether we should ditch our normal Durex featherlite and try out the 'ribbed for her pleasure' ones. Or maybe even try out Femidoms.

You can guess the rest, can't you?

MamaG Sun 17-Jan-10 08:30:57

lol mrsm!

MrsMattie Sun 17-Jan-10 08:35:40

The worst thing was that the random guy I was actually talking to stood beside me listening for a good minute before I turned around and realised he wasn't my DH. He then scurried off looking severely disturbed - seriously, he looked like he'd just been delivered back to Earth after an alien abduction - while I went scarlet and charged off to look for my DH and give him a good hard dig in the arm for walking off while I was in mid sentence. Bastard.

cyteen Sun 17-Jan-10 09:39:54

Was the random guy hot? Not sure if that would make it better or worse...

MadameOvary Sun 17-Jan-10 09:47:58

cyteen - I have laughed so much at your post that DD started laughing too and she's not even 2 grin

largeginandtonic Sun 17-Jan-10 10:10:46

I have stood in a car park endlessley forcing a key in to a lock that would not open.

I must have been there for 10 minutes thinking wtf?

Of course a man arrived and pushed me aside and proceeded to open his car with the his key blush

I still go red when i thinkabout it now.

mrstimlovejoy Sun 17-Jan-10 10:27:24

at a neighbours party my dd who would have been 3 started hugging a man round his leg thinking it was dh she even called him daddy but it wasn't it was another neighbour

UnquietDad Sun 17-Jan-10 10:59:16

In the last big freeze of the 90s, when DW was living in a shared house, she came out one dark, icy morning for work, bleary-eyed, and got going with de-icer and scraper on her little car.

After fifteen minutes' hard work she stood back, ready to go, and realised she had de-iced her house-mate's very similar car for her.

Georgimama Sun 17-Jan-10 12:35:27

largeginandtonic - thank God for remote locking which triggers the lights to flash - only way I can identify the non descript pacific rimmer courtesy car I am driving in a line up.

largeginandtonic Sun 17-Jan-10 12:50:44

Georgimama you are so right.

TheFallenMadonna Sun 17-Jan-10 12:56:44

I was waiting with FIL in FIL's car for BIL, whose train was delayed. I went inside the station to chexk for updates. Came out, got back in the car, and said "Another 30 minutes".

Wrong car.

Still, man in that car was grateful for the information blush blush blush

PandaEis Sun 17-Jan-10 13:24:42

grin these are FUH-NNY!!

im at work and im struggling to contain the sniggersgrin

when i was about 8 or 9 i went the shop and bought my mum sanitary pads and milk on her list, this was when all the rented houses in our street had just been fitted with new wooden front doors and they were the same as ours... well anyway, the pads werent the ones she asked for but i got them anyway and shouted into the living room, MUM THEY DIDNT HAVE THE PERIOD PADS YOU WANTED BUT I GOT THE BIG ONES FOR YOU!!! i only then looked around and thought, hmmm this isnt our house...i had gone into the old man next doors house whose door was on the latch...he just looked at me quite oddly and i ran like buggery out of theregrinblush needless to say my mum was mortifiedgrin

magicOC Sun 17-Jan-10 13:42:04

No funny stories, but, PMSL at these.

Kreecher and Cyteen you have made a cr*p weekend very funny

magicOC Sun 17-Jan-10 13:44:28

Unquietdad - I would have just curled up in a ball and cried sad. The amount of snow and ice recently, the time it takes to get the car up and ready every morning, I would not have been a happy bunny.

ChilloGETALIFEhippi Sun 17-Jan-10 13:58:35

Hilarious thread grin

hana Sun 17-Jan-10 14:37:15

unquietdad - there s a clip on you tube of this very thing - I think it's a tv commercial. hilarious! will look for link

hana Sun 17-Jan-10 14:41:13
hopelesshostess Sun 17-Jan-10 15:06:31

Changed my name for this, as so many of my friends have heard it.

We were asked to provide accommodation and food for a visiting Very Important Professor from other side of world.

We met him at airport, took him out for dinner, put him in our spare room overnight.

Next day being sunday, after breakfast I sat him down with the papers and went to start preparing lunch.

When I went to check on him, he was sitting on the floor, draped in a tatty, filthy old blanket, having been instructed by dd that this was an invisibility cloak and he was to sit very still and say NOTHING.

He took it very well..........blush

Habbibu Sun 17-Jan-10 15:17:28

Have asked for thread to be moved out of chat - too good to lose.

MrsWeasley Sun 17-Jan-10 15:29:09

HaHa

I was just out with DH and we were looking at beds and I said (in a joking way) "We're getting singles this time, I'm fed up of sharing my bed with you" and turned around to find I was talking to a strange man! DH was a little way back laughing his head off! blush

MmeLindt Sun 17-Jan-10 20:22:23

hopelesshostess
that is very sweet, how nice of him to go along with it.

PandaEis
Reminds me of my mum on my wedding day. When I said that I could not find the suspender belt that clipped onto my basque, she went outside and shouted to the neighbours who had gathered to see me off, 'MmeL has lost her suspender belt, does anyone have one?'

I was even more embarrassed when a neighbour appeared with a lacy red suspender belt and mum shouted, 'Thanks, but she is just going to wear tights'.

blush

moodlum Sun 17-Jan-10 20:37:41

On holiday when DH was just my boyfriend we went on holiday with his parents. I came down one morning, gave DH's bum a gentle fondle, and then a slap.

Only it wasn't DH, it was my father in law.

Years ago,when I was about 12,I was waiting for my dad at the exit of the supermarket.I saw him looking at the newspapers,with his back to me,so I ran up behind him and smacked him on his bald head.Only,when he turned around,it wasn't my dad.....blush

MrsMattie Sun 17-Jan-10 20:51:51

He so wasn't hot. Grotty middle aged guy in anorak. He couldn't have pulled a fucking Christmas cracker, put it that way!

My parents always had a strong "call us if you're in trouble and we will ask no questions" policy. Once when I was 16 I was at a party that got madly out of hand. I was drunk, high and very scared. I took the phone in the closet and called my dad (at three am).

Dad: Hello (dead asleep)
BP: (sobbing) daddy I'm at a bad party and now they're doing heroin and they want me to do it too and I don't know how to get away and I'm scared etc etc
Dad: (At least ten minutes of calming BP down talking here) okay, tell me where you are I am coming for you.
BP: I don't know (wail)
Dad: Rachel baby, you have to tell me where you are. Think hard.
BP: (confused silence)
Dad: Rachel?
BP: Who is rachel? I'm BP!
Dad: Sweetie, you've got the wrong number and I'm not your dad. Here's what you're going to do. Get a pencil and write down my phone number. Now very carefully dial your dad's number. If you can't get him or he can't get you, call me back and I will come take you home. But call me if he comes to get you too. I need to know you're going to get out of there.

Mydad came and got me. I called the strange man back and told him mydad was coming. He asked me to call him when I was safely home too, and I did. I've never forgotten Rachel's wonderful dad.

GoldenGreen Sun 17-Jan-10 21:25:43

BananaPudding, that's a lovely story.

Phone rang in the middle of the night once and my mum answered it. Teenage boy on the line said "mum, mum, can I stay at this party a bit longer?"

Mum (not having any teenage sons) just said "yes, sure stay as long as you like"

cue confused silence and then an indignant "you're not my mum!"

shandyleer Sun 17-Jan-10 21:25:58

Oh these are so funny. They remind me of the time a couple of months ago when I dropped my lovely Dad off in the forecourt of the local petrol station so he could get a paper. I then watched him come out of the shop, get into the car in front of mine, put his seatbelt on and proceed to unfold his paper. All the time this was going on the bloke in the driving seat was looking at my Dad, I so wish I could have seen the expression on his face. Twas even funnier when Dad realised he'd got in the wrong car, I don't think I've seen him move that fast in years ....

rasputin Sun 17-Jan-10 21:35:53

bananapudding your post was really amazing, how lovely of the random dad!

RonNumber Sun 17-Jan-10 21:36:03

my mate once got into a taxi outside her hosue and said " birmingham city centre please"

and the woman driver looked at her like this hmm

RonNumber Sun 17-Jan-10 21:37:45

oh adn at rugby the other day i was tlaking to another dad who i know from outside rugby when i felt his hand touch my arse

"cheeky sod " I thought and was JUST ABout to say " gerroff"

when i turned around and it was ds

PHEW

I am crying with laughter at these - and almost having a little genuine sniffle at Rachel's lovely dad smile.

Events of this nature are not scarce in the pushme household. Eg.

On holiday this year I returned to the wrong caravan. Imagine the confusion of the lovely man and his wife who were lounging around wearing only towels (badly) blush.

Last week in the supermarket I spotted DH carrying DD a couple of aisles away from where I'd left them. Ran up behind them, gave both a big kiss on the cheek/neck and berated them for running off.....Obviously complete strangers with their own DW/M a couple of metres away.

squeaver Sun 17-Jan-10 21:52:50

I've done that taxi thing.

Years ago, on holiday, dh and I were recovering from an afternoon <ahem> nap when a bloke walked into our hotel room and went for a piss in the bathroom.

He'd got out of the lift on the wrong floor.

cyteen Sun 17-Jan-10 22:06:05

squeaver, that sounds like a scene from the bad porn film in American Werewolf in London. "I've never seen you before in my life!" etc. grin

(Obviously if you have never seen AWIL this post will make no sense whatsoever....sorry.)

dylsmum1998 Sun 17-Jan-10 22:06:11

pmsl this thread is so funny,
and how lovely of rachels dad!

I did the hand thing again yesterday. DD had been skiing and I was keen to come home. DD has a pale blue ski jacket and she'd come down the slope. I went over to her before she could go up again and said we are going. She reluctantly agreed and i said I would tow her using her poles. Somehow I managed to get a child who wasn't mine and start heaving them to the car. I was only stopped by dd appearing at my side which, physically should have been impossible given my arm was behind me with a weighty child attatched to it. the child wasn't even a girl and looked a bit shock and scared. DD- aka supergrass couldn't wait to get home and tell her dad.

kingprawntikka Mon 18-Jan-10 09:55:40

I have done the wrong hotel room too. I got out of the lift on the wrong floor, walked to our room ( well where our room would have been had I been on the right floor) and the door was propped open . I walked in said a cheery hello to the chambermaid told her I was just collecting something and then it slowly dawned on me that nothing in the room looked familiar.
My husband couldn't understand what had taken me so long!!

MerlinsBeard Mon 18-Jan-10 10:15:20

In a busy book shop. I had DS2 with me nagging and DS3 In the buggy screaming. DH and DS1 were looking at a book on the other side of the shelf. As DH came round the corner he knocked over a big pile of books. I said "tidy that up you numpty"

it wasn't DH, in fact they weren't even in the same shop! The poor man looked mortified but picked the books up grin

Poledra Mon 18-Jan-10 10:26:46

PMSL - don't have any funny stories but was a bit teary at Rachel's lovely dad - I could imagine my dad doing something very similar.

crankytwanky Mon 18-Jan-10 10:40:04

BananaPudding that has made me cry![hormonal emoticon]

I've grabbed random men's hands many times. Once when I was about 10 I was in WHSmiths with my Dad, looking at magazines. I grabbed at the cover of the publication he was looking at and said "Metal Hammer? Pffttt. MC Hammer's much better"! Pulled down magazine to see cross goth looking at me.
Dad was further down the aisle reading Morris Minor Monthly.

A friend ince shoved a chocolate puddingin someone's face thinking it was me. She still blames me for it!

TheQuibbler Mon 18-Jan-10 11:18:24

BananaPudding - that is an amazing story, made me all sniffly.

I've done a few of these in my time too.

I was meeting my bf in a coffee place. I spotted him, sitting with his back to me, and scoffing a large cake.

So, obviously, I went up to him, grabbed it out of his hand and took a large bite, giggling all the while.

Of course, it wasn't him at all. It will take me a long time to forget the look of horror on that poor guy's face as he turned around to see who was stealing his food.

LouIsOnAHighwayToHell Mon 18-Jan-10 11:20:13

Once when taking a DC to ballet I came back to the car and hopped in and told the other DC to stop fighting. Not my car and not my DC!

Poledra Mon 18-Jan-10 11:21:09

Just coming back to this to say to Banana Pudding, yes, Rachel's dad was lovely, but so was yours, as he came and got you out of there. smile

Casmama Mon 18-Jan-10 11:48:38

I was at a family wedding a few years back where we were all staying at the same hotel with lots of narrow corridors a bit like a rabbit warren. I was ready early and went along to my parents room and just barged straight in to find a couple I had never met looking back at me half dressed and extremely shocked. I spluttered an apology and left asap but was horrified to then meet them at the wedding.

helpYOUiWILL Mon 18-Jan-10 13:03:16

did you know Rachels dad or was it a complete random number?

I have to admit that I got a little teary myself remembering rachel's dad. It's been a long time since I thought about, and since having a child makes me especially weepy.

I didn't know his daughter Rachel. It was a completely random man I'd woken up by misdailing, and apparently he had a daughter who sounded very similar or was the same age. Being a teenager who partied rather too much, I promptly lost his number.

My parents were really wonderful about stuff like that. They never asked questions unless I volunteered information. I think they wanted me to feel safe calling them.

After I posted this I was talking to my mom about it, and she said that such was her reputation among our friends that several times our friends called my parents for a ride in similar situations (when neither my sister nor I were with them) because they knew they would be rescued! I don't think my parents were trying to endorse our bad behavior, but just to provide us a safe "out" when we made foolish choices.

MamaG Mon 18-Jan-10 22:37:18

so we have to be massively careful about hotel rooms and taxis.

tortoiseonthehalfshell Tue 19-Jan-10 06:09:10

Okay, no word of a lie, as I was reading this thread I heard this from the office next to mine (occupied by 40-something laides' man who I suspect of having several girlfriends on the go):

"Well, hi there sweetie, happy birthday! You get sexier every year!

[...]

Oh. sorry, I must have rung the wrong number. Hi, Jane. How was the film?"

Rochel4 Tue 19-Jan-10 13:08:13

my children have all on occassion walked off with someone else thinking it was me....i'm still wondering if they were trying to tell me something grin

TheQuibbler eating that poor blokes cake had me crying!
No where near as entertaining as some of the stories on here but once when DS was a newborn I was browsing the baby clothes in next to then turn around and see some older lady casually walking off with him in his pram, when I grabbed the handle, the woman was mortified bless her, she kept babbling about she thought the handle felt funny and she wasnt trying to to snatch him. I felt awful for her!

Oh I once called my teacher Dad.
I was 15... blush Im going to my 10 year school reunion this year wonder how long it will take before someone mentions it. grin

Brachy Tue 19-Jan-10 21:41:34

I was in the gym working out on the rower. I was getting competitive with myself so was working very hard. DH came up and spoke to me about noting. A minute later he returns to tell me something equally inane.
A minute later I am tapped on the shoulder and I let out a 'why don't you just fuck off, I'm sweating like a pig and all you want to do is tell me something useless'.
It was not DH, but a parent of a child that I taught in school blush

The school carpool I was in as a child climbed into a maroon mini in the car park. After about 10 minutes we realized it wasn't one of our mothers' cars but that of the local priest (convent school). The rosary hanging off the rearview mirror should have given us a clue.

We all had to climb out again in front of about 40 bemused parents and go and find the right car.

I love this thread.

Got to go - the gasman cometh!

Boco Thu 21-Jan-10 10:26:28

In the supermarket recently, dd2 who is 5, was looking at the children's dvds. A woman had come and stood directly behind her, and dd had leaned back against the womans legs and pulled the sides of the woman's long coat around herself so she was INSIDE the woman's coat. I glanced up to see dds legs sticking out of a strange woman's coat and dd1 shrieking with laughter. The woman was tryign to open her coat but dd was resisting until I called her name and she shot out looking petrified at realising she had made a tent out of a stranger.

stirringbeast Thu 21-Jan-10 12:47:52

When I was a student I lived in university flats. Me and my flatmates had been in trouble with the warden for being noisy a few times, so we needed to keep him sweet. We lived on the first floor and he lived above. We were very friendly with the boys on the top floor, 2 floors above us.

So one day I ran up the 2 flights of stairs and straight into the boys' flat shouting at the top of my voice "HI YOU TOSSERS!!"

My mistake being that I had actually been on the ground floor and 2 floors up from there was the warden's flat....

Not as good as some of these but, in the same spirit ...

I was out with a newish friend, and we both needed groceries, so we stopped. Wandered around the shop separately, then I spotted him, came up, looked in his basket, which was full of white bread and processed food, rather the vegetables, miso soup, and brown rice that I expected. I said 'God, you eat crap!'.

It wasn't him. He was wearing a green retro parka ironically, this old bloke was wearing it sincerely. blush

AKMD Thu 21-Jan-10 17:50:31

When I was a toddler I was eating a sandwich at a grown-up party, decided I didn't like it and went up to my mum's cousin, grabbed his hand and spat the soggy, half-chewed sandwich onto his palm. Luckily he has 2 DC of his own...

neume Thu 21-Jan-10 18:11:20

We used to have a cat that was always climbing in and out through the windows, which wound my Mum up as it made them dirty.

One day she could hear some scrabbling coming from the window in the next room, so she shouted out: "Will you just get down from that window!!"

It was the window cleaner....

morningpaper Thu 21-Jan-10 18:50:29

I outside the post office the other day and a man came out, got into a silver car with two children in the back, put his key in, and then SCREAMED

then he got out and got into the next silver car which had NO children in it grin

TheDevilWearsPrimark Fri 22-Jan-10 15:34:14

Ha ha this thread is a classic.

I have done similar by yelling at other small children in the supermarket.

The very worst though has to be when I went to Glastonbury age 17 with college friends and their extended group of friends.

We set up a big circle of tents with a fire in the middle, very nice. I then managed to get lost in the crown, made it back to our 'pitch' sat and drank wine, laughed, smoked etc and crashed out in my tent.

I was then very shocked to wake up next to a random girl who asked me whose friend I was. I was in a different field and had gatecrashed a party and slept in someone elses tent. Oh the shame.

ElephantsAndMiasmas Mon 25-Jan-10 13:40:43

My friend's been having trouble with the car lock being stiff in the cold weather. Out with a group of friends the other day, popped to supermarket to get some stuff. We went back to the car, friend puts the key in the lock, it won't turn. A minute or so later he starts getting quite cross with it, while we wait freezing our arses off not really looking at the car. Finally another friend looks down at where the back door handle should be, loud "ummmm"...cue us all looking down full into the faces of a family quietly eating pies and looking absolutely petrified. Worst thing was that all four of us ducked down to stare at them at the same time and instead of apologising or looking shocked, immediately fell about laughing in their faces.

Friend then insisted on driving past hooting and waving "to show them we've got the same colour car". Of course. grin

ElephantsAndMiasmas Mon 25-Jan-10 13:43:19

...Should add, he was actually hideously embarrassed. Just think it might have come across rather differently...

nickelbabe Mon 25-Jan-10 14:08:40

not long after my mum and dad moved house, i rang them up.
my mum and i have this thing where we say "hello" in funny voices for ages before we start a conversation.
anyway, so i'm doing this over the phone and i can sense she's getting agitated. then I get "is anyone there? can you hear me?"
it wasn't my mum. i'd dialled the number incorrectly, so i was playing the game with some poor old dear. blush

but she was very understanding when i explained... blush

Ds2 has football training 3 times a week, along with 4 of his freinds who stay very close to us. So all 4 of us mums take it in turns to do the runs.

Last wed was my turn to do the run home. Standing in sports hall trying to round up all 4 boys. One of them starts towards the door out, so I run after him and catch his hand and tell him 'x, I'm dropping you home tonight'. He looks confused, and the man standing him next to him says 'i'll take him'. I pull X behind me and turn on this man and say 'excuse me, I'm picking him up for his mother. He's coming with me'. Again he says 'It's ok- I'll take him'. I start getting stroppy and say 'who the hell do you think you are?'

Hushed silence from all the other parents. Ds chooses that moment to tell me in a loud stage whisper 'Mum, thats X's DAD'

blush

(Well I had only met him once before and it was ages ago blush)

aJumpedUpPantryBoy Mon 25-Jan-10 15:16:38

I spent ages trying to open the door of a silver golf in a car park. A man came up and asked what I was doing trying to get into his car.
Apologised profusely, while explaining that we had identical cars.
I then opened the maroon polo parked alongside him and drove off.

He stood and glared at me in disbelief.
What I hadn't explained to him was the silver golf was at home.

ElephantsAndMiasmas Mon 25-Jan-10 15:39:59

Brilliant, PantryBoy, that's the only thing that could have made it better! grin

Bumblingbovine Mon 25-Jan-10 17:29:13

Well this isn't about people but a couple of years ago, I saw some clampers about to clamp my car in the flat car park. I shouted down that I had a resident ticket

Dh ran downstairs with he ticket but returned a couple of minutes later saying "They have clamped it" and grabbed some money to pay for the car to be released. He went down to pay

When I had dressed and gone down later, it became clear that the clampers had heard me and gone on to clamp another car. DH had arrived to see them clamping this other car , thought it was ours and had and paid them to release it.

Dh had paid £80 for SOMEONELSE'S CAR to be unclamped blush

In dh's defence our car at the time was a courtesy car so not our normal one but it was blue, the clamped car was red!!

TabithaTwitchet Mon 25-Jan-10 18:08:37

One morning when I was about 16 or 17 I heard my mum in the hall about to leave the house. She'd said the evening before that she'd give me a lift into town, and I thought she was going early without me - I'd only just got up and I wasn't ready to go, still in pj's etc. So I ran down the corridor and sprang wildly into the hallway bellowing "WHERE ARE YOU RUNNING OFF TO?"

It wasn't my mum, of course, but a nurse who
had come in to help my elderly grandmother, who lived with us get dressed blush - they always used to let themselves in and out quietly so as not to disturb the rest of the family.
To make it worse, it was this particular nurse's first day, she jumped nervously when I leapt out on her, and started explaining herself.
I was too shocked myself to attempt explanations, so just waved my hand and said, "fine, carry on, carry on" blush blush

cumbria81 Mon 25-Jan-10 18:31:20

We used to go Eurocamping when we were kids. Obviously there were rows and rows of identical tents. My sister and I once came back from a late night trip to the wash block, unzipped some poor Dutch family's tent and went to lie down with them in the dark. Oops.

Jenbot Tue 26-Jan-10 14:21:25

We went to the wrong wedding reception. blush Ate their food, appeared in their wedding video... I think I've posted about it before.
We just walked in saying "the bride's side" when asked who we were there for.
We did wonder why we hadn't seen anyone we knew but it was a big wedding so it took a while to click.
Then we drove 2 minutes down the road to the next venue.

Iklboo Tue 26-Jan-10 14:25:25

Last night I was making tea when I heard DS wander into the kitchen. He'd been playing up all evening so I just yelled 'What have I told you tonight? DO NOT come into the kitchen while I am making tea! It is hot and it is dangerous. Go and sit down NOW'

Looked round to see the dog standing by her food bowl giving me a very confused look blush

MamaG Mon 01-Feb-10 11:30:40

lol at these

Whiteybaby Mon 01-Feb-10 14:36:27

Love this thread. I had similar bum tweaking experience when dd was 5 wks old. Had texted best mate to ask if ok to call as I was on mat leave and she busy at work. She replied saying yes sure am working from home call me there.. Anyway, called her home number and as soon as she said hi started wailing about being knackered, having sore boobs, how hard bm is etc until this voice said.. "are you crying"??. I had called the wrong number and let rip to some complete stranger.. I was mortified blush! She went on to softly ask how old dd was, and tell me she had three dc's, one of which was also young and that bm was hard but would get better and having dc's is amazing and to try and enjoy it. Although i was so touched by her kindness I was just too embarrassed to speak and could only think of getting off the phone. My DH thought it was the funniest thing ever and told all his work colleugues. v v embarrassing. I often think of that woman now and wonder how she is getting on... smile

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