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Being older parents

6 replies

Timeoff · 27/09/2009 21:32

I wondered if there was anyone there who is an older parent like me? I'm 43 and my DH is 51. With him I have a DSS and DSD of 18 and 15 and we have a DD who is 8 and a DS who is 2. Our DS was a surprise. While I wouldn't of course have it any other way, it's sometimes a bit isolating as our friends all have older kids and are freer and people with young kids are much younger (especially than my DH!). Anyone have this experience?

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brimfull · 27/09/2009 21:36

I am 47,dh as well.

we have dd of 17,nealry 18 and ds of 7

I am probably similar ages of dd's friends parents but I still have friends with children ds' age who are similar ages to me. But tbh I'm not sure how old some of my acquaintances are-the other school mums,some look similar age some younger.

I don't think 43 is unusual in having a 2 yr old ime

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hester · 27/09/2009 21:39

I'm 45 with a dd of nearly 4. There's quite a few of us crumblies on MN.

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GentleOtter · 27/09/2009 21:39

Hello Timeoff.
We are older parents - ds2 is 2, I am 49 and dh is 52 - we have two older children.

Many of our friends are becoming grandparents and thought we were mad to try for a baby and yes, we are extremely isolated both geographically and socially.

It is lovely having a toddler again. Very very tiring though!

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Acinonyx · 28/09/2009 10:41

I'm 47, dh 49, dd just 4. I am around 10-15 years older than most of my mummy friends but the only real impact is that I can't have any more while they have. I don't meet any other mums my age with such a young child - espeically not a first dc. We are OK with having friends in their 30s though - I don't feel it's that big a difference. I do think I get tired more easily though - but then I think I was born tired.

My other friends pre-dd are our age with kids aged 12-22 or none at all. It has been difficult not being as 'free'. That gets better though, I think. We are starting to see those friends a bit more as dd gets older.

I imagine there are added difficulties because you are in two different situations at the same time, having older and younger dc. Perhpas I made more new mummy friends because dd was my first - so we did all the antenatal stuff. Maybe you need some friends with kids the same age - via preschool or school?

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ermintrude13 · 28/09/2009 10:47

Join the 40+ thread in Chat and you'll meet loads of mums most of whom have had or are expecting a baby post-40 and will understand your position perfectly (I'm 42 and have DD 11, DS1 7 and DS2 3 months )

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Timeoff · 28/09/2009 11:24

Thanks for all your comments. I think it's me who feels it more than the 30 something girls I know with babies - my DH so much older than them especially. Will join the 40+ thread, thanks ermintrude13. Think I might be having a mid-life crisis...