DS just had his first sleep-over party at our place - never again!

[LeighNic]

It's ds' 9th birthday tomorrow & he wanted to have a sleep-over party (as this is what his best mate always does for his birthday). Anyway - I thought I'd keep it relatively simple and have three friends over, so there were 4 boys all together including ds. HA!! Basically it went well last night, although it was a lot more full-on than I expected - they hardly played on the Playstation or watched any movies. All they wanted to do was run around playing war games, star wars, superhero games, etc etc. It went on for HOURS & they were running in and out of the furniture wielding light sabers & swords, climbing over the sofas, jumping off chairs... you get the picture. DH went off and did his own thing at this point (thanks a lot) and I ended up trying to put them to bed at around midnight. I woke up to the sounds of laughter this morning around 7.30am, only to find out that they'd stayed up during the night playing PS2 and had hardly slept.

We took them to a movie this morning (as planned) and the parents were due to pick them up around 2.00pm after we'd had lunch and cake. Anyway... it all started to fall apart around lunch-time. DS got all teary because he didn't like the game they were playing and stormed off. Then a while later, one of the other boys had a dummy-spit over an argument with a third boy, and he stormed off into the garden. Dh & I heard one of them shouting 'get lost idiot' at the other, & ds apparently got hit in the leg by a toy that one of the boys threw at the other. Finally after they'd sorted out their differences, they all wanted to run around playing superhero games again. Two of the boys left around 3.00pm and then ds & his best friend ended up playing peacefully in ds' bedroom together as they always do.

I think lack of sleep was a MAJOR issue here, but I'm just wondering if anyone else has experienced this kind of thing?? Ds has been to sleep-over parties at his best friend's place before and it's never deteriorated like that. Not sure if it's the personalities of the kids involved, or whether these things just sometimes happen when you get a bunch of boys together? I feel that dh could've helped control things a lot more but he didn't seem to want to know - it always somehow gets left up to me!! Anyway I won't be doing it again in a hurry. Even ds is a bit shell-shocked by the way it turned out I think.

[mumblechum]

The running round bouncing off the furniture is totally par for the course ime.

Unfortunately I think where you went wrong was not managing to get them to bed for, say, 10, with lights out at 11. Easier said than done, I know, I've been there! We've previously resorted to dh going into the room with his scary voice and threatening to put them all in separate rooms if they don't settle, then carrying out the threat if they don't (only had to carry it out once, brought ds in with us, one kid in one guest room, one in the other and one in ironing room with landing light on and telling them if they stepped foot into each others' rooms again they were going home, 2am or no 2am!

I usually handle all the boys when there's a crowd and my dh often retreats to his study but I know I can deploy him as my weapon of mass discipline when I need him.

Anyway, yours is over now so I hope you all get a rest today and a decent night's sleep.

[largeginandtonic]

You need to be MEAN. Well not really mean but quite firm.

Have an plan too.

Tea (no cherry coke [knowing emoticon)
Park or play out for an hour
Movie with special snacks
BED

Ensure sleep with bribery for the next morning.

Breakfast
Play out if possible
Children picked up at 11am

This means the parents get a lie in and you have peace restored by lunchtime.

[moopymoo]

Oh its not really fun is it - boys revert to being feral ime at the drop of a hat. We had 7 ten year olds sleep out in a tent in the garden (with dh in pup tent, he is a saint) they were doing weird wrestling games all night and dh caught them commando-crawling across the lawn on a midnight feast run. plus one was scared of the dark and was very unhappy. Now I limit numbers to 3 (if you have 2 friends they end up ganging up on one kid it seems) no sweets, no pop-type drinks,lights out enforced at 11 at the latest, also bring dh in for any stern lectures needed - though he stays out of the way generally. Plus I tell them not to bother me unless someone is bleeding - we have lots of fields around us and I expect them to be outside whatever the weather! unless there is just one mate here, I try to steer them away from playstation etc as someone always gets left out and a fight generally breaks out if they dont have a controller each. Gawd, they are all hard work - esp as they are all now 11 and hormones are kicking in. They are all nice boys individually but on mass are horrific!

[cory]

actually I think where you went wrong was to agree to have them for so long during the next day

ime sleepovers can be great fun but they are exhausting and by 10 o'clock the next morning everybody is worn out and needs to go home to unwind in the privacy of their own home

expect a tearful and whingey child for the rest of the day- that just has to be scheduled in

I have mainly hosted female sleepovers but the principle is the same: the sleepover itself is the action and then they - well, they need some sleep

[Mumwhensdinnerready]

I'm with Corey. You need to do the activity/treat on the day of the sleepover then get them home as soon as decently possible the following morning.We all know how evil our own children can be when they are tired, other peoples are no better.

DS1(13) has had a couple but DS2(11) has never been interested. I always thought them more a girl thing.

The wild behaviour seems to happen when you get more than 2 friends over whether sleeping or not, especially if they're not regular visitors.