my 7 year old son who won't listen to me

(15 Posts)
carocaro Mon 01-Jun-09 19:24:38

We get on, we have fun, but when I ask him to do something it's ATTITUDE CENTRAL. His fave saying is 'yeah yeah whatever' or 'say what you are say what you are' or I get questioned on why and why not this way or why not that way, why it's not fair, why he has to do it etc etc etc.

Tonight for example he was spinning round with a metal pan, I told him to stop as he'd nearly clonked his little brother with it, I had to shout it at least 10 times, then I had to grab the pan off him. Then he said 'Mummys sooo stupid'

I just find it all so exhausting all the verbal hoo haa.

His little brother is 2 and he's a whole other story which I will save to another time.

After only one week of hols I am dreading the Summer one's, DH will be away a lot and we have no holiday plans.

So what strategies and plans should I instigate?

RealityIsMyOnlyDelusion Mon 01-Jun-09 19:30:17

God are you me?

I've just posted something similar about devilchild DD who has suddenly developed a horrendous backchat streak.

I have decided to stop shouting. If it gets to the point where I have to yell, I will physically get up and stop the behaviour. The verbal to-ing and fro-ing is exhausting.

Also, my two are lovely when they're DOING stuff as opposed to amusing themselves. So my strategy for th esummer holidays is to have ACTIVITIES <sob>.

And gin.

iMum Mon 01-Jun-09 19:32:02

You sound like me, A mouthy 7 year old, and very "livly" 2 year old and now a baby too.

Ive no Idea how to get through it though-some days are better than others-generally tho we opt for "that is unacceptable go to your room until you can appologise" route but it is only effective 50% of the time. There was one very memorable morning when he point blank refused to get ready for school-he was 1hr late in the end.

People tell me it will get better but it is very hard isnt it.

carocaro Sun 11-Oct-09 10:24:25

can I restart this topic as I am ASTONISHED at him!

The attitude.

The 'away with the fairiesness'.

The slowness at eating.

The loosing things and have NO idea atall where they are.

Having to be asked over and over and over again to do this like today I said and I counted 12 times in 10 mns you need to get ready for rugby and still nothing, so I left it, and he freaked as they are now late!

What to do?

busybutterfly Sun 11-Oct-09 12:44:28

I have one of these...watching these posts with interest!!

seaglass Sun 11-Oct-09 16:48:59

Naughty step?
Setting strict boundaries and sticking to them? My DS would'nt get dressed for school - like you, it was a case of telling him (shouting) over and over again to get dressed, so now I've told him that he's old enough to know that we leave the house at 8.30am, I'll give him 1 reminder, then it's up to him - if he's not ready, he goes as he is. Since doing this, he's always managed to be ready.

My DS (nearly 9) is one of those high maintenance DC's - I have to try to keep on top of his behaviour - it's really tricky sometimes, if times are hard, it's easy to stop being consistant, then things really go downhill.

Miggsie Sun 11-Oct-09 18:07:50

...when he asks for food next time say "yeah, yeah whatever" he may come to see how annoying it is.

Mom0f3Boys Thu 10-Jun-10 21:37:35

Can I revive this topic and ask how it is going? My 7 year old is acting the EXACT same way as carocaro's son is acting. It's driving me nuts. I also have a 2 year old who is the complete opposite of my 7 year old (thank god!) very complient and well behaved. On top of that I'm due any day now with baby #3. I'm almost at my wits end with him!!

carocaro Sun 13-Jun-10 17:33:46

Hi, well it's better, he's 8 now, I have a 3yo boy who is great tbh, spare the odd tantrum.

We sat down and had a talk, just the two of us and I told him why I got cross with him and he then told me why he felt cross with me.

He said he didn't hear me and so I needed to stand in front of him when I wanted something. We agreed to use the over timer as a 5 mins warning to get ready, then I set it again for 5 mins and he has to get ready. The noise the alarm makes penatrates hi brain whereas my voice just washed over him.

He also said I never listened, which is true as I was always trying to pre-empt what he was saying and doing something else at the same time, so no matter how irritating and frustrating I find it sometimes to wait and shut up and listen (I have no patience!) I do sit and look and listen. And the joy is it works, most of the time.

I had to look at me more that I looked at him iyswim. I think an 8 yo boy finds it hard to articulate and time to listen is key.

good luck.

Bongobaby Mon 14-Jun-10 11:58:06

i thought i was the only parent with a changed 7 year old. my gosh the lip and the i know everyting attitude. is starting to wear very thin at the mo. its relentless behaviour that he is spoken to about.on a daily basis. it becomes boring and draining. until the nintendo ds gets banned from him.and gets sent to his room.i often look at him after an episode of his nonsense and think "wheres my baby gone" and in his place is this HORRID HENRY child. i think it must be a ,i,m going to see how far i can push my luck thing.boys are the worst. the only thing we can do is 'KEEP CALM AND CARRY ON'

1Littleboy1Bigboy Mon 14-Jun-10 20:05:25

we have struggled with our 6 year old in much the same way. We got professionals involved as there is a concern he may be on the aspergers spectrum (but only very mildly). they have recommended a behaviour/discipline programme called 1-2-3 magic. We have started it with him and things have improved!! It wasnt designed for SN children but works for all kids.

www.cyberparent.com/spoiled/123magic.htm

sageygirl Wed 16-Jun-10 20:54:35

just seen this and I can join the "whatever" club too - have 7 yr old menace & am getting shoutier & shoutier. Hate myself at the moment but he is so provoking. Mine is fully aware of what I'm saying - doesn't miss a trick - but appears to enjoy ignoring. I've taken to ignoring him recently - just walking off and doing something else in another room - and it does work a bit.

knackeredx2 Fri 10-Jun-11 08:59:49

mine flipped out and kicked and hit me today when I told him to turn off the TV and get dressed for school. (When he wakes up super early he's encouraged to watch and not wake everyone else.) I've got twins ds/dd age 7. she can do the same, but never gets aggressive. i decided to ignore him. let the aupair take him to school on the bus (instead of the car) and when he refused a jacket, let him go without. let you know how he is at the end of the day.

knackeredx2 Fri 10-Jun-11 09:01:58

just read the 1-2-3 magic website. sounds good except that he won't do time out. won't stay on the step. it's getting too close to violent trying to force him and then his sister gets upset. ugh.

gorionine Fri 10-Jun-11 09:22:00

Your Op sounds very similar to what we are goint through with DS2 (7yo) ATM. It is really nice to see that things got much better. The sitting down an listening is certainly something I should do more as like yourself I seem to always be listening whilst still doing something else and yes, I am sure it is not the right way but it is hard to chjange the bad habits of a lifetime.

The reason I am worrying about his attitude problem now, is that he is starting to have this "rude" attitude with Dh too which never happened until very recently + he can be really violent towards his siblings both physically (kicking mostly) and verbally (saying things like "good I made you cry" or "shut up you idiot/weirdo...")

So now I am going to sit down and have a long hard look at myself and what I can most certainly improve on and possibly have a look into this 123Magic website.

Your positive outcome is certainly giving me hope. IF I had to describe DS I would say when he is sweet, he without a doubt is the sweetest, most considerate little boy but when he "flips" (for me know to identifie the trigger/triggers) he just is "undrinkable"!)

I love the little monster!

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