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22 month tddler is gentle but is my overdiscipline actually bad

4 replies

bumbly · 27/05/2009 22:01

is gentle by nature and i am pretty strict

am i actually hindering any rebellious behaviour by being strict

perhaps just need to let him be bossy over me

worried re other kids bullying him as in playgroup everyone takes toys from him

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Chaotica · 27/05/2009 22:05

At playgroup you can do two things (that I can think of, anyway):

gently intervene and tell the others to wait turn (they're not really bullying - they all have to learn at some point);

tell your DS that he can say 'No, I'm playing with this toy' and stand up for himself

Are there places where you're not strict (the park, on walks, or something so he can let off steam)?

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bumbly · 27/05/2009 22:13

i think you have nailed it there...will let him always do as he wants in one place..park etc seems a good idea

if only it owuld stop raining

thanks for ace tip!!!

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Gemzooks · 27/05/2009 23:24

I'm the same, what happened is that when DS turned 2ish, he began to assert his ego more, as soon as he started talking. now he's 2.7 and he is much more assertive. Also I really make an effort with myself to talk positively and not have a go about every tiny thing he does wrong (and he doesn't do much wrong anyway!). and also to see the funny and nice side of things. With toys, also I think it's a stage as DS used to let kids take toys off him, then something happened around 2 yrs and didn't any more.

I had slightly overly regimented parenting and as a result was extremely well behaved as a child and hence very easy for my parents plus high achieving BUT have been left with lifelong need for approval and acknowledgement all the time, and not such good decision making skills, so I'm trying not to be the same with my kids..

I'm sure you're doing all the right things, don't worry and just be very positive and pick your battles..

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bumbly · 29/05/2009 14:29

gem are you my hidden sibling?

sounds exactly like me and thanks for all your advice!!!

hugs think you are bril mum!!!!

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