what kind of help to get?

[makemineaginandtonic]

I am having trouble looking after my two dds aged 3 and 2. One goes to nursery and when they are apart it is a lot easier, but the moment they are together they either fight, or become slightly hysterical and run around screaming. This is ok for play time, but when we have to eat a meal or go to bed it becomes unbearable. I am in tears most evenings as they wind me up and then refuse to go to bed and keep getting up. I have read a lot of books and consulted a parenting practise and whilst their techniques have helped there are some times when they seem unreachable. I am keen to get more help but don't know how/what/where. I have a relatively easy life apart from this and don't have to work or have any other problems. I feel a bit pathetic! Anyone else been through this?

[theoptimist]

Hi there
My two were very receptive to this...
I made them think about what I would be like if I was tired because they wouldn't go to bed: I told them I'd be really moody, unhappy, not much fun, etc., using a moody voice, and I asked them if they liked that. Then I had them think what I would be like if not tired: so I'd be fun, silly, happy, etc., I'd say that in an excited, silly voice - and asked them to choose how they wanted mum to be tomorrow when they woke up - repeating the silly voices and facial expressions for moody and happy, while they were thinking. They chose the happy one of course! So, I told them how to get that happy mum - by staying in bed. Otherwise I told them when they woke up, they'd have a moody mum. I'd repeat it so they got it! I had no trouble at all from my two when I explained the consequences of their actions in a way they'd understand.
Now and again they'd get up for something, but I could get them back again quite quickly.
It might not help, but it's what I did. Best wishes.