CONCERNS FOR MY GRANDCHILDREN

[FionaHen]

MY sons girlfriend walk out on him and their 2 children (age 2 & 4 weeks) & we never seen her for 21 days, she never once came to see how the kids were or to collect them, she has a drinking problem, my son had spoken to her about it but she always denied it, her mother & brothers are alcholic, they live every day all day drinking & i think drugs may be an issue too. My son seek legal advice from lawyers & filed an order so she could not take kids off him but she somehow manage to get an order of delivery to have kids returned to her, on the day the kids were returned to her my son contacted social services as he had concerns, since then we have had to contact social services on numerous occasions due to her drinking/drugs behaviour while she is in charge of kids, from having strange guys in her house that she didn't know whilst the kids were present & standing outside drinking while my son & husband went to pick kids up.

We have just found out that yet again she had abanded kids again for 3 days leaving them with her alcholic mother, the mother reported her missing & was seen walking the streets at night with the two kids looking for her.

I have since then reported her to social services, I feel I am not been taking seriously. I don't know what else to do!! does anyone have advice? We also have informed my sons lawyer & the health vistor.

We have been to welfare meetings at court &My son gets access every wednesday & wkends, there reason for her to have kids as they were so young, how bad a mother do u need to be before social services bloody wake up.

[aprilflowers]

im really sorry for you all - no practical advice as your son seems to be doing every thing.

[FionaHen]

Thanks Aprilshowers for your comment its much appreciated.

I know we are doing everying we can through the right channels but its so frustrating & heart breaking seeing our lovely grandchildren have to go back to that life there mother & her mother lives, I'm so scared for gc, my son has been told to record dates times & events to which he has, as she will trip up again but just as long as kids are not involved.

Thank again.

[TweetleBeetle]

How about caling the police. I'm gobsmacked that SS aren;t doing anything - far too busy telling off people who occasionally smack there children or take them on holiday in term time!

[FionaHen]

Hi TweetleBeetle,

Thanks for your comment, we've called the police on 2 occasions, once on 31st Jan as there was a big crowd drinking outside & inside house when we where returning children, the crowd was making threating behaviour towards my son & husband, then on the 17th Feb my sons ex was drinking with the crowd again & she fell whilst holding granddaughter (then age 7 weeks old) but by the time the police got there (sum hours later the crowd had gone & they were all tucked up in bed). So thatz 3 police reports that I know of so far, the mother & her mother also have a record of breach of the peace & assualt.

I'm afraid for the grandchildren, Has something going to happpen to them before the SS, HV & the Police act seriously. My son & us are trying to prevent this but with no help.

The SS system is all wrong its about time they realise that.

[TweetleBeetle]

It must be terrible for you all, but don't give up hope, keep on at SS. Have you though of contacting your local MP - not sure if it would help but it would at least give you another angle.

Anytime you need to vent I'm usre if you come on here you'll get support. Good luck and it will work out in the end

[acoady]

Has your son spoken to his lawyer about making an application for residence? The courts will always tend to favour mum, especially where there are small children. It strikes me that she doesn't necessarily want them anyway! He should keep a diary of exctly what is going on.

Those poor children. I hope all works out ok.

[mrswill]

If your not getting any joy from social services, every time you ring ask for the manager of the team, and explain things to him/her. Id also start keeping a diary of the incidents with your grandchildren no matter how small, - men in the house etc. Also call police every time you think children are in danger, this gives social services a record of call outs to the house. If i were you too, id look up on the lingo of social workers and their 'duty' to protect children, and when you get fobbed off remind them of their 'duty', so they know that you kind of know the legislation etc, also get each social workers individual name that you come in contact with. Unfortunately social services have to 'collect' evidence that proves her to be unfit to care for the children. You and your son can help do that by keeping a detailed diary. Basically keep up everything your doing, and keep pushing at them, social services etc are so bogged down these days, whoever shouts loudest gets heard im sorry to say. Best of luck and please let us know how you get on.

[FionaHen]

Hi TweetleBettle & Acoady,

God its gr8 to know that your out there giving me support & advice i don't know wot i wood do if i didn't have you & this site to talk to.

When maybe i have thought of everything that i can do through the rite channels & everything in my power then you both come along & maybe know something that I don't its a great help to me honest.

As contact was going well when my son & I were picking kids up, the welfare court was happy with this but now as the kids mum is clearly not coping maybe we should take her back to court. As in my eyes but not SS, she is a unfit mother, well i wouldn't call her a mother.

I will try my MP & check with my son's lawyer about residence application.

Thanks again it means a lot to me.

[FionaHen]

Hi Mrswill,

Thanks for your comments & advice, god this is gr8, I feel I'm not alone now, I was beginning to think I was going to crack up, I felt i was shouting HELP but no-one could hear me, I wish I found this thread in January.

I am taking all your advice on board & will use it to the best of my ability.

Thank you for taking your time to talk to me much appreciated.