Would you allow your daughter to attend her brothers' christening dressed like a boy?

[mrsgreedy]

I haven't been on here for ages as have been extremely tired and busy with twin baby boys!!! But had some great advice last time so here goes!!

My daughter, who used to be the girliest princess I knew, has turned into the worlds biggest tomboy! I think a lot of this is to do with the arrival of her twin brothers 7 months ago. At first she was bitterly disappointed that the babies were both boys but she came round and to be honest has been really great through the past 7 months.

Anyway most of the time I don't mind the tomboyish behaviour. Why shouldn't a girl be active, trousers are often far more practical etc.

But I am having the boys christened this weekend and my daughter refuses point blank to wear a dress or even what I would class as "feminine" trousers. She is insisting that she is going to wear her Ben 10 Tshirt and jeans (both from the boys section I hasten to add).

It all erupted into a huge argument during which she said that I never make her brothers wear "stupid girls clothes" so why should she!!

What do I do?

[McDreamy]

How old is your DD? I would let her wear what she wants TBH but maybe try to get her to wear something smarter than jeans and a t shirt for a christening.

[schneebly]

I think you could compromise with her and let her wear smarter boyish clothes.

[MadamAnt]

Agree with McDreamy. Let her know she doesn't have to wear "girly" clothes, but that her "boy" clothes must be smart. Unless of course it a casual Christening!

[mrsgreedy]

The thing is she is 6. If she were only a toddler I would probably be a lot more lenient but at 6 I think other guests will start to pass comment.

When I read this through it does seem very petty. But my mother in law is on the case and is putting the pressure on.

[MrsTittleMouse]

I agree with everyone else - boy's clothes don't have to be scruffy - she can wear smart trousers.

[TheGoat]

let her wear what she wants.

[sweetheart]

How old is your dd?

My dd is 8 and is a tomboy to the extreame! We have recently had several arguments over her choice of clothing and we have reached a compromise in that she is allowed to wear smart shirts and jeans (or other smart trousers) on special occasions. She seems happy with this and the shirts genrally look nice on her.

They are usually of the checked variety and look quite nice and smart with a pair of canvas deck shoes which she will also agree to wear in place of her usual trainers!

You have my sympathys!!!!!!!!

I would add that I used to be quite like her on the tomboy stakes and I have grown out of it - infact dd moans at me for being a girly girl!

[PeppermintPatty]

Also agree with McDreamy. I don't think there's anything wrong with letting girls wear boys clothes, or boys wear girls clothes for that matter.

As long as the child has made that decision for themselves and can handle any consequences (teasing etc) then it's up to them what they wear

[starfishnebula]

How old is she? Have you asked her what's bothering her about the more 'feminine' clothes - does she honestly feel she'll look stupid or something like that? (I mean you may not think she will, but does she think she will?) Maybe if you could find out what's bothering her and talk to her about how at christenings people don't usually wear 'everyday' clothes but something that's a bit smarter, that would help? Maybe then you could compromise on a new shirt and jeans combo that's a bit more androgynous - e.g. this boys shirt from M&S

www.marksandspencer.com/gp/product/B002833TPK

with boys dark blue jeans - something like that perhaps?

[Notquitegrownup]

What an intriguing situation. Can you send her shopping with MIL and some (limited) cash and see what they come back with?

[sweetheart]

i.e. something like this.....

www.next.co.uk/shopping/children/oldergirls/29/2

[WowOoo]

I'd probably let her and 'adapt' outfit a bit.

[trixymalixy]

Tell her she doesn't have to wear a dress or a skirt, but she has to be smart as it's a special occasion.

[CrystalTits]

Hello MrsGreedy

One of my twin girls is a total tomboy and won't be seen in skirts, dresses or anything remotely pink or 'girly'. Her sister, on the other hand, is fully into sparkly, frilly princess style all the way.

For 2 years now (they are 4) they have been choosing what to wear without any intervention allowed from me. I'm very happy for them to wear what they want and decided long ago that it really wasn't worth the battle. My DTD is happiest wearing her elder brother's clothes, right down to the Spiderman pants! For a family wedding I found her a gorgeous blue velvet top which she wore with skinny black trousers. (Well, it was either that or her Bob the Builder overalls.) She looked great and felt comfortable, and people saw her individuality! So why not let your DD choose a special top or outfit for the christening rather than dressing her in something she'll want to wriggle out of as soon as she can.

When you all look back at the photos years later you can remember her 'boy phase' with affection...

Hope it all goes well.

[CrystalTits]

p.s. and politely ask your MIL to butt out...

[sagacious]

At six I'd let her have some choice so fair do's no dresses.

But I'd baulk at a Ben 10 t shirt at a christening (unless it was a toddler)

I'd compromise on a plain t shirt and smart trousers (chino type?)

[luckylady74]

I would just go shopping for smart boys/unisex looking girl's clothes with her. I would insist that if dad is in his suit and so on that she needs to be smarter than her everyday stuff. I would sweeten the deal with a present as this is such a big deal for her - the ben 10 minteractive dvd game is good!
Today my dd is wearing a lovely blue striped coat from joules, white girls shirt from sainsburys and blue jeans from asda- no pink no frills and smart!

[silverfrog]

I'd go along with what most here are saying - let her know she doesn't have to wear a dress, but that she does have to be smart, as everyone else will be (even her brothers, I assume)

we did this with dsd, and now at 20 she is happy to wear dresses, but fro a long time she wasn't. Making rules jsut means confrontation, and there is plenty she could wear and look smart, without wearing a dress.

dsd even wore trousers to our wedding - she looked fab, and was relaxed and comfortable - both important things to be when at big celebratory occcasions.

[MrsTittleMouse]

That shirt fom M&S is lovely.

[GossipMonger]

I think I will be in the minority but as Mum to 2 boys of 7 and 4 I think they should wear what you tell them to wear!

I know girls are often fussier than boys about what they do wear so I think I would compromise with her and tell her that if she wears a skirt/dress for church then she can wear casual clothes for the party.

There is NO WAY I would let her wear boy clothes for a christening.

would she wear this?

[LynetteScavo]

I'd bribe her to wear a dress during the ceremony/photos and then let her get changed.

[LynetteScavo]

I'd bribe her to wear a dress during the ceremony/photos and then let her get changed.

[LynetteScavo]

I'd bribe her to wear a dress during the ceremony/photos and then let her get changed.

[PortAndLemon]

At the risk of being terminally lentil-weavery, I don't think that a girl must wear "feminine" clothing to be smart. So I'm with the majority here -- the important issue is that she needs to dress smartly for her brothers' christening. If that means a smart shirt and trousers from a "boys" range, then I don't see a problem. What about something like these?

[TrinityIsLovingHerLittleRhino]

only the shops make things 'boys' and 'girls' things
let her wear what she wants and think no more about it