Help!!! 2yr old screaming at bedtime!!!!

[LUCIA22]

I have just spent the last hour sat on the sofa in DD (2yrs) room whilst she stood in her cot and screamed at me until she fell asleep. Every night is the same, she wont go to sleep unless I hold her hand. We have tried the controlled crying, that didnt work and I was advised today not to hold her hand anymore but to sit in the room without responding to her. She wakes in the night too, shouts and wants me to hold her hand, she wont accept DP going in, it has to be me. I have a DS 6 weeks old too so sleep is already a bit thin on the ground. I know that she is probably responding to having a new little brother and being 2yrs old but any tips on how to deal with it, it is driving me mad. I desperately want her to go to sleep but also feel so guilty letting her get so upset.

[fortyplus]

You are tired
She is jealous.
You've already answered your own question
Now is not the time to try to resolve this.

[linspins]

My goodness, I recognise this story! It's my two and a half year old....
Every night is a huge battle of wills and delaying tactics, and takes an hour...I absolutely hate it. My Dd finds reasons to keep me with her and is hugely creative with this. It'll be doing a last minute 'poo on the big toilet, Mummy' one night, having an extra cuddle the next, needing a drink because she is coughing the next night...or just plaintively crying because she wants me to stay with her.
I have tried everything, including controlled crying. Letting her scream and cry is difficult and upsetting, I really sympathise. We live in a small terraced house, so there is the guilt that all the neighbours can hear too, especially when Dd calls me in the dead-quiet at 3 a.m.
It's not as if we don't have a routine either! We've done the same thing for almost her whole life now! ARGH!
I long for the day when bedtime is easy, but I'd settle for just manageable...rather than me feeling like I've been put through the wringer. And, as like you, it has to be Mummy, not Daddy.
Lucia, fortyplus is probably right about the jealousy issue...(no such excuse in this household).

let's hope someone can offer some solutions - straight away for me, and in a while for you, when Dd has got used to DS.

Good luck (and congratulations on Ds. xx)

[naomi83]

you don't want to try controlled crying, it's exhusting and at some point you'll just give in, and inconsistancy never works. You need something called extinction crying, which'll make you feel like a right bastard, but works in 1/2 nights. Explain to her that you love her very much but that mummy is very tired (rub your eyes, yawn to show her what you mean) Leave her a no spill sippy cup in the corner of her cot, and her favourite soft toys, and tell her that you are NOT coming back in tonight, you love her very much (repeat several times) but you need to sleep and she needs to sleep so she will be happy in the morning (don't mention baby!). Then close the door, making sure she can't climb out of the cot (night light if you use it) and don't open it again despite howling. Take a shower, and close your bedroom door. She could cry for up to an hour but will eventually fall asleep. If she wakes up again the crying will be for a shorter time, prob less than 15mins each time, and prob only a few more times. In the morning go in quite early (6.30/7am for us) and give her a huge hug, tell her you love her, and such a good girl for going to sleep by herself. Next night repeat (will be less howling, I promise!) and by night 3 ask her to say "night, night mummy, I love you" before you leave, and make that part of your routine. That first night is a nightmare, but after that we got our sanity back, so it's worth trying!

[devonshiredumpling]

we have always left our sons door open but with stairgate on it so that he can hear background noise and us pootling around the house and also he can have a dim light source without having to resort to a night light . we also have a routine going of his tea , bath , brush teeth and then a snuggle with mummy or daddy while watching night garden we then have a story time then he goes into bed (a proper one ) a last cuddle we tell him we love him and then shut the stairgate and let him settle on his own and he normally sleeps all night he is now two and a half so why not try putting her in a toddler bed and this way of doing things? having the stairgate means that your dd cannot escape but can still hear you does not feel isolated and you can hear her from the bottom of the stairs without the need for a monitor it works for us hope this helps

[linspins]

Oh Devonshire - that's exactly what I do, but have lots of screaming and crying on the end! ARGH!
DD gets bath and teeth, snuggle, pj's, story time, cuddles, little drink, wee on potty, tuck up in real bed, ...and we do leave door open and noises from downstairs. But then she calls and shouts and cries and screams, and it seems no amount of ignoring helps, she has more willpower. I just hate it. Everyone can probably hear her all along the street without the monitor on!!
Help.

[carocaro]

I have one of these two, DS2 aged 2 and a bit. He has a gate on his room, which as soon as we leavbe the room he's up a yellin and a hollerin. With DH away so much I have no option but to ignore and do reading with DS1 downstairs, I go up at least 3 times plus and just pop him back in bed and kiss him night night. He does get the message. I also have to sing BAA BAA BLACK SHEEP as I go down the stairs. He is in a toddler bed and has just discovered he can have a little play b4 bed, which is helping.

It is so brain numbingly hard, I am glad I am not alone in this,I will be thinking off you all shortly as the hoo haa commences.

PS: if I run up and downstairs so much why am I still fat?

[linspins]

Dd is currently upstairs at her gate screaming 'I want a cuddle'. I keep coming downstairs whenever she gets out of bed, and only go up to tuck her in when she's back in. Blimey she's loud...

[corrielidsey]

Need some advice if anyone can help please!
My daughter is now 2 1/2 and since the long days in summer started she has been a nightmare to get to sleep at bedtime.
She will make all the usual excuses will most nights do a poo so u have to change her, screaming to an unbeliveable high pitch (which drives me round the bend!), play for hours i her room, open the door stand there and shout at me and daddy, throwing toys out the room so i have on 2 nights taken all her toys out her room i know that sounds awful but just dont see any other way.

Last night was bad she kicked off so much there is no getting through to her you can do it calmly or if we are at the end of our tether will loose pur temper. Obvs we are learning like she is as shes our first.
Taking its toll on all of us as we are all tired!

[Iggly]

Get some decent blackout blinds?

[Paddingtonthebear]

DD (22 months) has started this at bedtime too

[3littlegirlies]

So glad we are not alone on this one. Our middle daughter, 2 and a half, has always been a nightmare sleeper. She is still in her cot but as soon as we put her in she is screaming to get out which means we cant put number 3 daughter, 11months, down until number 2 is asleep. Mummy is tired daddy is tired and girlies are tired. Oh and she has also learnt to climb out her cot in the last week :( dreading a toddler bed as she then has complete access to her room and toys.!