OK, would like some advice on how to deal with 2 boys who are always fighting and lying and never sticking up for each other

[Saltire]

Example - today DS2 and his friend A ame in, both crying, saying that Ds1 and his friends B,C,D, and E and Es brother had been punching them and trying to trip them up and wouldn't let them play football. Ds1 denied this point balnk, said it hadn't happened, that DS2 and A were lying.

Ds2 then went out again with A. Boy B then came over(I was upstairs in the bathroom watching at the window)and started saying to Ds2 "why did you say we hit" etc etc. DS2 () siad "shut up you knobhead" to which this boy replied " at least I'm not bald" (which was an odd statement to make since Ds2 has a full head of hair). DS2 replied" at least I'm not black" - the child in question isn't black but does have very dark skin tone. The boy then started calling Ds2 a Fg little ST and a Bd. I went out and hauled Ds2 in and gave him a lecture on how he wasn't to say things like that, it wasn't nice, it was racist etc and told him to go out and apolgise. He did this, but the boy he said it to kept going on and on saying "I'm going to punch your Fg lights out", the other boys - apart from DS1 were giving DS2 the finger, 2 fingers, calling him a Racist C**, and lots of other names. Ds1 stood by and let this happen.
When I aksed them what happened initially (WRT to the accusations of hitting) they both told me different stories.

I am at the end of my tether I really am. I am sick of the language the DSes use, the fighting and lying and answering back. it was never a problem until we moved. I have brought them both in, and gorunded them.

I don't know how to handle this or where I'm going wrong.

[Chellesgirl]

Right for starters DS1 has in my opinion made new friends at school and doesnt want them to think hes uncool. He may think that his bro is uncool as such and so does not want him around him when wih his friends and also he takes the piss out of him with his friends because they may not like your ds2.

I know this bcus when i was at school i was in the 'popular' group and my older sis was not that cool and very clever (unlike me) and when the 'cool' people at school started taking the piss out my sis i used to join in. Sayin she was ugly and gay etc...
I can tell you now... I am very very ashamed of my behaviour and love my sister dearly. The being popular or unpopular thing at school really bugged me bcus when i was at my old schooli was bullied and so just wanted some friends. (not that u can call them friends) as they are no where to be seen now.

Me and my sis are so close now. Ive matured and we both have children around the same age and its amazing.

It will probably take ur ds1 to get into trouble with police etc.. and his friends not be there for him, to make him realise.
you should tell ds2 to keep away from him, and dont bug him as such. let him be. and hell find out, as i did and ds1 will reap the rewards, as my sis is. She still has all the friends that she used to at school.

[Chellesgirl]

Sorry replace ds1 with ds2 when you read it, and vice versa ... got muddled up a bit.

[Chellesgirl]

Actually dont lol. I didnt misread! arghh

[HaventSleptForAYear]

Sorry, in a hurry but the situation sounds like something straight out of the book "siblings without rivalry" (same people who wrote "how to talk so children will listen".

Try and get a copy - it won't change things immediately but should give you some strategies for changing the status quo.

[Shylily]

Agree with 'Haventslept' - worth a read.