Am I a lazy parent because my one month old has a dummy????

[Zebraa]

I nearly punched my ex boss today for calling me a lazy parent for 'shoving a dummy in her mouth'. She said oh come on its just shutting her up not dealing with her!!

If I hadn't had my children with me I'd have knocked her head off her shoulders!!!

[psychomum5]

well, if that was the case, I have been forever a lazy parent.

altho what it said for those of mine that sucked their thumbs.....

oh god, my babies declared me lazy and showed it by sshoving their own sucky-devices in their mouths



ignore her, then make a voodoo doll of her and stick pins in

[Zebraa]

I am still fuming about it. I've not stopped banging on about the cow to my DP! Grrr

[MrsY]

There are numerous reasons for using a dummy - being lazy can be one of them, but she is obviously a big moose for saying it!

[psychomum5]

does she have children herself???

maybe she used dummies, and berates herself for them, but instead of justifying it to herself she feels the need to belittle another mum instead.

ignore her (easier said than done I know well), but really, she is not living your life and so, she really has no basis to comment.

and stop feeling guilty!!! your baby is not suffering from a lazy parent. she is lucky to have a mummmy that cares enough not to care about others, and offers the one thing that comforts while mummy is busy with other children!!!!

[onepieceofcremeegg]

Well if you are lazy then I am 19 times more lazy than you! My 19 months old has a dummy still for sleep times.

[Zebraa]

My one year old still has a dummy for sleeping. I don't think it's lazy, it's about making my children content. I am not watching them scream and cry when it can be settled by simple sucking - it's just a bit of comfort for them.

[onepieceofcremeegg]

I fully agree with you Zebraa (just in case my last post was a bit unclear).

My 19 month old will keep her dummy until she is old enough for us to negotiate with her about giving it up. She is really comforted by the sucking. Her older sister didn't want a dummy; only because she sucked her fingers from a few weeks old so didn't need one.

[psychomum5]

right now, as I type, I have my two eldest girls (13 and almost 15) sat next to me with thumbs in their mouths.

for my two that had dummies, they had them until they were 3yrs!

if that is not lazy parenting, I don;t know what is.

[Karam]

No, in my book you're a caring mummy. It really annoys me when little babies get real enjoyment and are soothed and calmed by a dummy - and then some adult criticises you on grounds of aesthetics. To me that is a very selfish decision - "I don't like dummies, so my baby (who actually does enjoy having one) is not allowed one because of what I like to look at". Its a selfish decision because the adult is putting their needs over and above the baby's. If your baby needs and wants a dummy, then let them have one. If they don't then don't. But don't put adult judgements onto the child, because that's selfish on the child. So no, in my book - you're not being a lazy mummy, but rather you're putting your child first!

[random]

my ds had a dummy till he was 3 .... now thats lazy parenting

[trixymalixy]

Ha ha, I thought dummy's were lazy parenting until I actually had a baby of my own.

I lasted until DS was 6 weeks before getitng him a dummy. Great invention IMHO!!!!!

[GothAnneGeddes]

If motherhood was truly valued, whoever invented the dummy would have a Nobel Peace Prize.

Dd loves her dummy. She's only two months old and already she's learned to give it a pat/swipe to make sure it doesn't fall out.

There has been tons of research into the benefits of non nutritive sucking. Think about it, if you'd spent nine months in a warm little cocoon and were then thrust into a noisy, scary world, wouldn't you need some soothing?

Also dummies have been linked to reducing SIDS.

[Gmarksthespot]

A dummy is not lazy parenting. My dd had a dummy and the two dss sucked their thumbs. There is nothing wrong with comfort.

I am 35 and I still need to be comforted. It comes in the form of a full wine glass .

[makingafamily]

As a TTC'er i aspire to have a lil one with a dummy

[minkybetty]

My dd 2 still has her dummy on and off. Your boss seriously overstept the line by saying that and clearly has little understanding of children!!
I sucked my finger for years and always has a little soft piece of material to stroke my top lip - I still love any soft material now!! Don't worry about it - your child will lose the dummy when ready

[lou222]

I know alot of people who call having dummies lazy parenting ( not me but that's what alot of people think)
.What i don't understand though are the parents who continually shove one in when the baby isn't crying?
Also doesn't research show it delays their speech?

[chipkid]

dd had a dummy until she was three and a half-just for bedtime. She was talking in sentences before the age of two-so as long as it isn't constantly attached it should not slow speech. The thing that worried me was the open bite that she had despite the use of dentist approved dummies! however she gave up her dummy when she was ready and her teeth are now beautifully straight! DO NOT Stress about it.!

[nickytwotimes]

Ds had a dummy until he was 4 mths.
Trust me, it saved my sanity and it did not delay his speech. He has excellent verbal skills and was the first in our post natal group to talk. His teeth are fine too.
Personally, I don't like seeing older babies wandering around with dummies in, but see no issue in using them as a sleep aid/calming device. HATE when toddlers try to talk with them in though.
Whatever you do, some fecker will criticise you. You are not lazy at all though.

[nickytwotimes]

Ds had a dummy until he was 4 mths.
Trust me, it saved my sanity and it did not delay his speech. He has excellent verbal skills and was the first in our post natal group to talk. His teeth are fine too.
Personally, I don't like seeing older babies wandering around with dummies in, but see no issue in using them as a sleep aid/calming device. HATE when toddlers try to talk with them in though.
Whatever you do, some fecker will criticise you. You are not lazy at all though.

[mummynumber2]

Using a dummy is actually now recommended to help prevent cot death.

Tell her this

[Horton]

Christ. If my DD would have countenanced a dummy instead of wanting to suck on me 24/7, I'd have bought her fifty. Lazy? Maybe. Saving sanity? Definitely.

[GenerationGap]

Karam, what a silly post, no baby 'needs' a bit of synthetic plastic - if it did nature would provide it.

[noonki]

generationgap - your arguement fails - many things have been invented that make humans lives more comfortable; houses, medicine, beds, central heating/aircon. Things that many take to be needed and yet nature in all her goodness failed to provide before we made them!

Anyway I don't like seeing toddlers with them all day in their gob but for going to sleep they can really help some babies.

I used one for a few days with DS1 when he was very unsettled, and DS2 adored his til he was 9 months. It is much easier having a dummy but I don't see why that should make anyone lazy!

[LittleMissBliss]

I'm not a fan of dummies as a whole, but they have their place and some babies really do get allot of comfort from them. I don't like older children with dummies, especially talking through a dummy.

[GenerationGap]

Agree totally 'Noonki' just objected to the word 'need'. Dummy's are for the benefit of adults not babies - nothing wrong with that,but why not admit it?