Advice needed please with teenager dss

[rimmer]

DH has son from prevoious relationship. Dss is 19. My kids with dh are 4 and 3. Basically DSS having a crap time, typical teenager in many respects, he has no job, debts, no place to live (sleeping on friends sofa), no work experience etc... and has just been to court this week for string of offences, drink driving, no license, no insurance, causing an accident etc and has been charged and given suspended sentence and community service.
DH wants him to come and stay with us so he can make a fresh start and work with us in our business. I totally want to support dss BUT...
We are struggling to make business work, dh and I are just coming through a really rough patch, we are both seriously stressed, we live in 2 bedroom flat and he will be sleeping on sofa here, we won't be able to give him any money for the first few months till our business gets going (so a financial strain) and so on
I really don't want him to come. I feel we have enough stress at the moment and I just can't cope with any more. AIBU to put my foot down and say no?
I know he's just a kid and needs a second chance, but I really don't have the strenght for dealing with a deliquent teenager on tp of everything else if he choses not to behave.
Any advice welcome
TIA

[2shoes]

sorry but he is your dh son.
let him stay and get him to help you, maybe he just needs some direction in his life.

[rimmer]

I know you're right 2shoes, I know I'm thinking the worst. I just can't bear the thought of all of us cramped up in a tiny flat and then it coming to a showdown because he won't behave.
Any advice on how to come to terms with it (myself) and see the positives?
Please

[Strawbezza]

Staying with you could be the kick up the backside that your DSS needs... but like you say, only if he behaves.

Lay down some ground rules - e.g. no more criminal activity for a start, what chores he should do in the house, what time he should be home by, what his duties at work will be, etc. If he breaks the rules he goes. If he really wants this chance, he'll be happy to obey them.

[rimmer]

thanks strawbezza, that's exactly what i needed to hear.
I would be so happy to welcome him here and he will be an excellent help for me if he choses to, he is a great lad.
I'm just frightened of how it could go wrong, because you are right, if he crosses the line, he is out. Maybe i'm upset because I'm frightened it will come to that and we'll have to send him away....

[Strawbezza]

Any more news, Rimmer? Will he be coming to stay?

Are you a Red Dwarf fan BTW - I am.

[ICANDOTHAT]

What would you do if he was yours and dh's son?