What's it like to have 3 children?

[boardergirl]

Have just found out I'm pregnant with dc3- this is planned I'm pleased but also really worried about how I'll cope.

My dd will be 4.4(and at school)and my ds will be 2.1 when this one is born. She is quite easy but ds is hard work at the moment- stroppy, bit aggressive and can be jealous- I worry that he wil not take well to another baby. He also doesn't sleep very well- ends up in our bed most nights!

I'm also worrying about managing to give each one enough attention and dealing with all the school stuff reading practice and so on as well as managing a toddler and a newborn.

Dh thinks I'm worrying too much and everything will work out. I am really looking forward to having a little gang of them but feeling nervous. Does anyone have any useful tips on how they coped?

[sb6699]

Just about every mum I know has had the wobbles when they found out they were expecting dc3 - me included.

I think with the 3rd baby its easier than the first 2 because you pretty much know what is normal, what isn't and can identify why they're upset much easier because your more experienced.

As long as you are prepared for the added noise and can accept your house will rarely be immaculate you'll be fine.

As for the practicalities like reading practice, I give the 2 lo's a book to pretend they're reading while I deal with ds' homework to keep them occupied.

On a day to day basis, I just get everything organised the night before so I'm ready to go in the mornings. Every family falls into their own routine so I would just continue to do what your doing and make adjustments where you feel it necessary.

FWIW - dd1 still is 4 and still doesn't sleep in her own bed all night (sometimes its like musical beds in our house!) but you do get used to it.

I was very lucky that my older 2 adored dd2 from the minute she was born but I was advised by HV to refer to my bump as "their baby" and give them a "present from the baby" when it arrived to make sure they felt included. DD1 was exactly 2 when dd2 arrived and loved being able to help so this might be a tip for you.

Everything will fall into place and you'll be fine

[sb6699]

Oh and if you manage to sort the sleeping arrangements CAT me with your methods!

[gigglewitch]

everything sb said
it is great fun.
My ds1 was a month off 5yo and ds2 was 2.3 when dd was born. They're a handful but they are soooo much fun, I couldn't imagine it any other way. I was also one of three y'see.

With a newborn it isn't that hard because the no3 just realises from very early on that it must just fit in, and by the time that the 'baby' is starting to become mobile your bigger ones are far more capable

Enjoy!!

[Fennel]

Mine have those sorts of gaps. all planned. It was a slog with 3 under 5s, tiring. But now (as I'd hoped when we had 3 close in age) it's lovely, they are 8, 7 and 4 and play together a lot, are all compatible in what they like doing. It got easier all the way, from the birth of dd3 til now.

Though we did rather skimp on reading practice and similar with my 4yo dd1 when we had a toddler and newborn, it wasn't easy to fit it in. In fact we barely noticed what she was learning, or wasn't learning, in her first year or two at school. Too taken up with nappise and so on. But she did learn to read, perfectly well, perhaps a bit later than if we'd only had the one and had time to focus on things with her. And now she and the 7yo teach 4yo dd3 to read.

[fruitcorner]

I had same sort of age gap when my DC3 came along - it is difficult and you will be tired but a few tips

• lower your standards re.kids watching tv, housework, ironing, bedtime routine

-use a sling for DC
-get out and about alot

• can your DC2 go to pre-school to give you a break?

-online shopping -never go to the supermarket with 3 kids!
-the baby will be fine if fed -I did feel guilty that DC3 didnt get much attention or baths or change of clothes or have any routine etc, but baby is oblivious if fed/warm/sleeping etc
-do a bit of reading etc at weekend when DH around to help,
The first few months will be a blur but it does get easier (and trickier in different ways)

[Beantin]

I hear you need to grow at least one other arm.......

[kitkat9]

echo what everyone else has said

I found it quite hard to begin with but it's starting to get easier now...when dc3 cries he sometimes just has to wait while I deal with the other 2, like if I'm getting their dinner etc - you realise by your 3rd child that it's not the end of the world if your baby cries!

When ds2 was born, ds1 was 6 weeks off 5, and dd was 7 weeks off 2 - she was my main worry too when I was pregnant but she's been fine with regards to the baby...her tantrums are a nightmare though but I think it's just the stage she's at. What I did while pregnant was to really 'work' on ds1, trying to get him excited about the new baby coming, telling him how much I would need his 'help' once ds2 arrived, how special he was to be a big brother to 2 siblings etc etc. Anyway, he dotes on his wee brother, and because dd dotes on ds1, and she copies him in everything, she too dotes on ds2. If that makes sense. Would that work for you? It has made things infinitely easier because I don't have any jealousy issues at all, and I really thought that I would have.

Ds1 and dd play together pretty well so I have time to feed ds2.

Just be prpared for living in chaos for a wee while until things settle down! And it's noisy....oh, it's soooo noisy...

good luck. You'll be great!

[chipmonkey]

I can't remember.

[Frasersmum123]

We have a ball

I have really loered my standards since having the third, and although I still get uptight about things, I try and be as calm about washing, hoovering and tidying as I can!

[boardergirl]

Thanks for all the tips esp ones about the sling and ideas to get ds involved - he does love to copy his sister so hopefully she will be as devoted to the new one as she is to ds. It is good to hear that everyone just about copes with 3. I don't know if my housework standards could slip any lower though!

sb ds slept till 5.30 in his own cot for only the 5th time in 17 month aand I feel like a new woman after 5 hours uninterupted sleep how ridiculous is that!

[sb6699]

Good to hear you sounding a bit more confident.

Can't remember last time had unbroken sleep except when both dds are in my bed and dh has de-camped to theirs

[gigglewitch]

Sleep? whats that?

Glad to hear that you are getting into practice on the housework front Oh yes, you need an extra arm for each DC you produce. Common knowledge, that.
One also discovers how to manoeuvre a double pram with a tot hanging from it / trotting along beside it, through every doorway in town One also learns to be less polite and stop trying to steer around clueless teenagers who step in front of the said pram [owww - they soon learn] Flashing lights, rearview mirrors and indicators would be a distinct advantage to the average tandem buggy

No, really, it's great. Imagine how many cuddles you get x3

[sb6699]

For Valentines Day my ds (yes, I got a valentine from him) got me a mug that said:

If evolution really works, why does mum only have 2 hands?

Spot on really.

[mamalino]

Good idea to grow another eye too, preferably in back of your head......

[cheesesarnie]

this morning i would have said awful.by the afternoon brilliant

if i can cope any one can!its natural to worry.

i actually found my 3rd the easiest as he just fitted in.you get into routines because you have too-although im not that great at it!

[PlumBumMum]

I think you get more laid back
and dc3 thinks she can do everything the other 2 can, she is an adorable little madam 2.3

[cheesesarnie]

i agree-i ignore the 3rd

[Poledra]

It's sooooo cool - DD1 was 4.5 and DD2 was 2.5 when DD3 was born. Two important things:

1. Sling
2. Organisation

I used my Close sling all the time with DD3 (even to cook tea, though it's not recommended ) as she would be calm then. Reading practice with DD1 is done whilst bfing DD3 - I have to sit down then anyway. DD2, without being asked, likes to sit and listen to her big sister read too, so it's quite a calm time. I also get everything prepared the night before for the morning.

Both girls adore their baby sister. The only problem I have found is that you can guarantee that the middle one will want the toilet the minute I sit down to bfeed.

[boardergirl]

We'll also need to change our car- can anyone recommend a car that fits 3 car seats, buggy etc and camping stuff when needed but is also fairly cheap to run and insure?

[misshardbroom]

Fiat Multipla, boardergirl.

We bought one when ds2 was born because all three were in baby car seats and I couldn't fit them all in. It's a bit like driving a spare bedroom but it does the job.

[boardergirl]

thanks misshardbroom I'll look them up- don't know if dh would go for driving a spare bedroom tho!