Well, I didn't think that HVs actually used the phrase 'Making a Rod for Your Own Back'...

[RhinestoneCowgirl]

but apparently mine does...

She visited me and 3 week old DD yesterday and said that all that cuddling was fine for now, but in 'a few weeks' I'd have to be careful not to make a rod yada yada. She then went on to admonish me about 'tummy time' and handed me a typed sheet of instructions about interacting with my newborn

DD is my second child (poss last?), I am relishing the cuddles

[MrsJamin]

how ridiculous of your HV. goodness, enjoy your cuddles!!

[CandleQueen]

Ignore the bint. She's probably jealous because she has no one to cuddle!

Very and at her advice though...

[RhinestoneCowgirl]

Good job I didn't mention DS was breastfed until 2, we often co-sleep, and DD has a lovely new kari-me sling that she spends her evenings in strapped to DH

[TheCrackFox]

FFS, get the cuddling in while you can. Where on Earth do some HNs learn this type of stuff?

Disclaimer: there are some lovely HVs out there.

[Lizzylou]

When I was on the maternity ward after DS2, the MW actually said to the young girl next to me
"Don't "handle" her too much or you'll make a rod for your own back"

It was "handle" that did it for me, she was talking about a newborn baby, not a bloody guinea pig!

They thought I was a wierdy as I was BF DS2 and wanted to go home.

[RhinestoneCowgirl]

'handle' is awful. I hate this idea that babies need to be tamed or 'broken in' in some way. They are people ffs...

[ThingOne]

How ridiculous. What's the point of having a newborn if you don't get all that cuddling in? And, FFS, you can cuddle and put your baby down on its tummy for five minutes every now and then. It's not impossible to combine the two. Mind you, I reckon they get more of a workout in a sling .

[BouncingTurtle]

I didn't really bother much with tummy time, DS didn't much care for being on his tummy for more than a few minutes.
He crawled at 7 months!

[poppy34]

I've cuddled dd on demand (or in sling) she is the happiest ,easiest little thing - also didnt bothere with tummytime -but thanks to the amount of time she spent cuddling on mama - she has a very strong neck etc and is now happily starting to lie on her tummy/tentatively crawl.

[harpsichordcarrier]

"handle"
all the evidence ALL The bloody evidence is that cuddling newborn babies is essential for their health and wellbeing. if I heard a mw or hv say something quite so stupid I would complain, vigorously, about their dangerous advice.

[IAmTheNewQueenOfMN]

ridiculous fucking bollocks that some hv's spout
make me really angry

[Alishanty]

It doesn't matter how you go about things, they all grow out of things eventually so why not enjoy your cuddles while your dd is still a baby. I admit to 'babying' my 5 mth old a bit as she is my last, but so what. You can never get that time back. Your hv is talking bollox.

[devilisunaccomplishedinprada]

Oh goodness I'm still cuddling my dd2 as she's my last and she's 2.4. Take no bloody notice, she sounds like that mad woman off that channel 4 programme Claire Verity.

[Northernlurker]

Ours said about dd1 'now she's very lovely but don't let her rule you' I think that was ok advice actually - we've blown it a bit with our very lovely and strong willed dd3 though!

[vlc]

Ah, but I never gave my dd any tummy time because I was too busy cuddling and carrying her. And now, at 18 months, she lies on her back all day completely immobile.

As if.

(sighs as babycarrot fizzes up and down the landing squealing and laughing hysterically as she escapes her mother's clutches again...)

[meandjoe]

mine said that too, cos i let (had no choice!!) ds nap on me. hv went on and on about how he'll never learn to settle himelf at night, he'll never nep on his own etc etc blah blah blah. you'll be pleased to know he's 17 months old, currently napping right now (not in my arms!!!!!) and has slept through the night in his cot since 10 weeks. ignore her and enjoy the cuddles!!

[meandjoe]

oh and ds hated tummy time, he still crawled at 9 months and walked at 11, runs, jumps climbs at 17 months.... i'm sure you know what you're doing!

[tvfriend]

My MW used the exact same phrase when we told her that DD had slept on DH's chest for most of the FIRST night we got out of hospital otherwise she'd just scream. She has been a great sleeper since a few months old.
DS is 2 weeks old now and am ignoring all their 'helpful' advice

[belgo]

what's tummy time?

[MamacitaGordita]

Hahaha I work in maternity and have heard this phrase used many, many, many times... it is such nonsense but when it's coming from an experienced, older, capable sounding midwife it can sound very authorative...

[KJTWINS]

i found that the HV never really give you any actual useful advice as they dont want specifically tell you anything in case something happens and you say you did it on their advice found this on bottle feeding and now for weaning too!!!!

[KJTWINS]

also cuddling newborns is one of the nicest things for you both makes up for the no sleep anyway

[MrsMattie]

Oh FGS. I was told in hospital by a stern senior midwife that 'you can put her down occasionally, you know. You don't have to hold her all the time'. I just smiled my bes 'whatever' smile. She is also my 2nd and probably last and I have hardly put her down (she's now 8 wks old). I never let her cry for more than a few second if I can help it and i cuddle her constantly. When did loving your baby become frowned upon?!

[KJTWINS]

i know totally agree i have twins and i dont let them cry out for ages and i think that they feel more secure cos they know you are always there little ones need cuddles to feel secure (i think) sometimes get v annoyed at MV and HV mine are only 19 weeks and i find it better to talk to other mums anyway asked my sister everything too as she has 2 kids and i can phone ANYTIME when i am in a panic!!!

[purepurple]

belgo, there has been research that suggests that babies are not developing gross motor skills needed in later life because they spend too much time on their backs. I had my first 19 years ago and the advice was to let them sleep on their tummies. Now the advice is to put them on their backs cos of cot death. So teenagers are now experiencing problems of not being able to sit still and not concentrating at school, of not being able to write for extended periods of time cos they have not benefited from tummy time. So it is not just about being able to crawl and walk but missing out on tummy time can have wider effects, according to the research. Pre-school children are now being introduced to programmes developing tummy time, a colleague went on a course, so I have some experience of this.