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Parenting

soft play- do you go in after your toddler?

20 replies

beforesunrise · 13/11/2008 19:11

went to soft play this morning- it's a particularly awkward one because visibility from the seating area is nil and once your little one penetrates the playing area you can't see a thing.

dd1 is 2y9m and we've been going since she's 2- it absolutely never occurred to me to go in with her, mainly because i was already heavily pregnant with dd2 when we started going, but also because i just let her get on with things and i assume it is safe enough- it's totally padded and there's mesh around it. however, there were several mums there (in fact, all of them bar me and another one) running after their little ones, climbing awkwardly in the frames, sliding down the slides etc. one whom i know slightly seemed totally surprised i wasn't going in and even more shocked when she asked me whether dd1 was allowed to go on the big slide and i said, yes of course... she seemed annoyed as she was trying to pull back her son from it.

personally i think it's bonkers (why take them if you are going to micromanage them??) but just curious what everyone does/thinks. i should add that i only take her in the morning when it's quiet(er) and there are no school age children

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AccidentalMum · 13/11/2008 19:15

If she is confident and you could hear her call for you if she did need you, no problem. I tend to accompany DD1 (3.2) if at all possible as I don't trust children alone TB(brutally)H. Not in a nasty way, just that 2/3/4 year olds do push and bite etc

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mrsgboring · 13/11/2008 19:16

I tend to go in with DS - mostly to prevent him bashing/getting bashed by other children. There can be surprisingly old children at any time of day I've found, and also surprisingly long drops off the edge of some of the equipment. At 2.9 DS wanted the company too.

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nickytwotimes · 13/11/2008 19:17

I leave ds to it, but sometimes he won't leave me to it, iyswim! If I didn't go down the slide once with him, then he would never go down it himself. Once he has the hang of something, I leave him to it.
Not all kids are confident.

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2point4kids · 13/11/2008 19:20

I've been lucky that DS is confident enough top go off on his own, thank god
couldnt be arsed with clinbing through the small gaps and going down the slides!

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Wendyjayb · 13/11/2008 19:21

I leave ds (2yr 11m) to it unless i hear him scream
He's fine as long as he knows where i am he's fine x

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llareggub · 13/11/2008 19:21

I go in, but then I only ever go when it is really, really quiet. I do it because DS has been a very proficient climber from an early age and whilst he could do everything, he was just too short to get over the last hurdle to the big slide. So he'd get right to the top and then get stuck.

Occasionally he'd turn around and come back, but when you are not quite 2 and really want to use the big slide, coming all the way back down ain't an option. So he'd sit there patiently for a while, then get frustrated at the barrier ahead.

He isn't great at coming back down, actually, although he is great at climbing up. I like to keep him out of ball pools too, as they are a pretty good way to break a limb or two, according to my mother who has treated quite a few ball pool fractures.

I tend to hang back though, and just help him when he needs it. I keep him off when it is really busy and full of older children, because in all honestly he ought to be in the toddler bit, given his size.

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AccidentalMum · 13/11/2008 19:23

Also, quite often when I've been in with DDs a 2/3/4yr old attaches themselves to us, obviously after company which always made me . I am soppy.

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justneedsomesleep · 13/11/2008 19:25

Leave them to it generally, call on them sometimes if they haven't been seen for a while........then i might have to go in and look for them.
Some place we go don't allow adults in which is a great get out clause!

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thisisyesterday · 13/11/2008 19:36

I only go in if ds1 asks me.
I am totally in the "benign neglect" group here. it's good for them to get on with it by themselves without me hanging around right behind them.
i think it's good for them to be able to go in and do this kind of stuff in a safe place, encourages independence and confidence IMO.

I go to soft play so that I can sit down with a coffee and chat to a friend. not so I can charge round with ds

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beforesunrise · 13/11/2008 19:39

i guess i am lucky that dd is quite confident (nothing to do with me i am sure), but i do sometimes wonder a very cautious behaviour doesn't undermine children's confidence a bit. obviously i do not want to generalise, but this child this morning struck me as perfectly able to get on with it by himself- it was the mum who couldn't handle it, and i thought it was a bit sad that she didnt let him go on the big slide with my dd...

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hungryhorse · 13/11/2008 19:41

Id love to not have to go in with my DD. Well I don't know (finally) as she is 4, but when she was 2 and 3 she was such a nervous wreck she would cry unless I followed her.
I think it is much better for them to leave them to it to encourage independence.

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mrsruffallo · 13/11/2008 19:43

The mums spoil it- they get in the way and are just too big.
I say let the children play-they will alert you if there is a problem

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madrush · 13/11/2008 19:45

I only go in if I really have to. Have been known to borrow friends children to ensure my dcs have someone to play with so I don't have to!

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WobblyPig · 13/11/2008 19:47

I often go in after Ds 2.1 mainly because he is very adventurous and you never know what other bigger kids may get up to. If we are there before the school kids are out and it's quite empty I observe and plunge in when required. I am also pregnant and know I may not be able to do this for long.

Main issue with the apparatus is that most of it is fine but there are a couple of big slides that concern me.

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Acinonyx · 13/11/2008 20:29

Dd won't go in without me - I would love to be able to sit and have tea and a chat instead! I've tried - but she won't have it.

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OonaghBhuna · 13/11/2008 20:35

I go in, as like what others have written I dont trust other children or adults.....I know that sounds pathetic but it only takes one opportunist.
I think it depends on how well managed the soft play centres are. My children are quite young 3 and 23 months so I would never really feel comfortable about them playing out of my sight.

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luckylady74 · 13/11/2008 20:35

I stand where I can see if possible, but only go in to rescue them. I really get annoyed when adults sit in the middle of walkways or at the top of slides and it puts the kids off going on!
The difference is that if you've only got one they take a while tio settle in on their own so I do understand why parents go in there.

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frasersmummy · 13/11/2008 20:42

our local one has a strict policy of no adults on the equipement for any reason

They have loads of staff who are happy to help the kids. They are often seen sliding down the chute right behind a child who wasnt sure..

I think its a great set up

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TeenyTinyTorya · 13/11/2008 20:45

I would let ds (20mths) in the baby section alone, but he prefers the bit that's recommended for 4+. Obviously his legs are too short and he would get bashed about on his own, so I go in with him. And also because I am a big kid

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mawbroon · 13/11/2008 21:06

I go in with ds (age 3) if it's just the two of us there.

This is only because he won't do much running around on his own. We go to a soft play beside the swimming pool, and if I left him to it, he would just climb up and watch the swimmers.

I go there so he gets some exercise, not so he can sit still watching swimmers! So I go in and chase him about.

However, if we are there with other children he is more than happy to run about with them, so I can have a nice cup of tea.

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