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For free parenting resources please check out the Early Years Alliance's Family Corner.

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For free parenting resources please check out the Early Years Alliance's Family Corner.

Parenting

Do you have a "Look"?

30 replies

ALMummy · 02/11/2008 19:17

I thought about this the other day and then Hecate mentioned her "Look" on the hitting thread. I have a "Look" that could stop Godzilla in his tracks but have been told that it is actually a very negative thing to do to your child - negative disapproving looks etc.

I find my Look extremely effective. Do you all have a "Look"?

OP posts:

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NotBigNotClever · 02/11/2008 19:22

Yep, I have a "disappointed look". Seems to work well and shames my dcs into better behaviour on occasion. Big fat raspberry to the idea that it is harmful to my dcs...

WhizzzBangWhizzzOOOooAhhhh · 02/11/2008 19:25

I have perfected the art of disapprived raised eyebrows across a classroom (I'm a TA in secondary) - usually does the trick.

The same look is wasted on my DS, so I just tell him

ALMummy · 02/11/2008 19:25

Mine is more along the lines of an "I am beyond astounded at your behaviour", combined with "there is a great deal of trouble in the post for you if you continue with this course of action".

OP posts:

Lucycat · 02/11/2008 19:27

a slight narrowing of the eyes and a glare over the top of my glasses - that's why i wear them for work

also a teacher

SuperBunny · 02/11/2008 19:27

I have 2:

A sometimes smiley, raised-eyebrow, warning, 'I know what you are about to do... you are not going to do it, are you?' look which usually ends up with DS & I giggling and him not doing the thing he was going to.

and an 'I am really upset/ disappointed/ cross that you did that' look which I don't really like but do anyway.

Tortington · 02/11/2008 19:28

yes i have a look

i have a 'voice' too.

v. quiet it is

i can be quite menacing

ALMummy · 02/11/2008 19:30

Actually I suppose I have two as well. I have a really surprised and sad look after ds has tipped his younger sister off the bed or taken a toy away from her. I don't want to show anger if he is mean to her, rather sadness so he feels sorry rather than resentful.

OP posts:

Troutpout · 02/11/2008 19:35

yes.. a raised eyebrow one

Tn0g · 02/11/2008 19:35

I do have a 'look'

Inherited it from my mother and it's very effective.

< lowers head slightly, glares and purses lips >

DesperatelySeekingSanity · 02/11/2008 19:36

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Caz10 · 02/11/2008 19:40

Oooh I am a teacher and definitely have a few looks I use at work - current fave with year 6 is one that says "there isn't the SLIGHTEST chance that you are even going to THINK of going ahead with that behaviour....it would be such a disappointment to our very high class standards, it would really be letting yourself, and me, down"

DD is only 10mths I wonder when I'll first need to use it on her?!!

My mum was a secondary teacher and she definitely used her school look at home - I am not scarred for life by it as far as I can tell!

hecate · 02/11/2008 21:28

Nah, you need a Look. Mine can stop an autistic boy in his tracks! Beat THAT fecker then!!!

They should send me to war zones!

asdmumandteacher · 02/11/2008 21:33

hecate do you have a child with autism?

blueskyandsunshine · 02/11/2008 21:34

I've developed a sort of intimate secret headshake, as if there are other people in the room and we don't want them to know that I'm about to tell you off if you do that -- sort of thing.

I have no idea why it works. I still have a "look" though the children just "look" it back at me now. Thank you God for the mystifyingly successful headshake.

hecate · 02/11/2008 21:36

I have 2, asdmum.

Chopchopmissy · 02/11/2008 21:37

Oh yes - I have a look!!!! Sometimes it even works but only sometimes

asdmumandteacher · 02/11/2008 21:38

Jees - my autistic boy won't even look at me to give him a look...nice job!

hecate · 02/11/2008 21:40

it's been hard but worth it.

LovelyDear · 02/11/2008 21:41

I WANT A LOOK. i just have a shout, which is totally ineffective, of course.

ScottishMummy · 02/11/2008 21:42

aye!it is a woah there tonto look.works a treat too (on lo and boyfriend)

mamalovesmojitos · 02/11/2008 21:45

yes i have a look!

it says 'dont even think about continuing this behaviour'.

totally works. i dread the day that dd is a narky teenager and is no longer scared by the look.

misselizabethbennet · 02/11/2008 21:48

Of course I have a 'look'. Doesn't everyone? Mostly I use it when we're out and I don't want to cause a scene.

Used sparingly it's surprisingly effective.

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GentleOtter · 02/11/2008 21:57

I have a 'gutted' look. It comes from despair and complete disappointment. You know the one - if you have been out and secretly hope that the kitchen has been blitzed when you come back....oh,it has not... gutted.

One day the wind will change and I'll be left with it forever.

SoWhat · 02/11/2008 22:39

My DD is only 5 months so don't yet have to use a "look". Fully intend to though as my mums was very effective!

cory · 03/11/2008 08:47

I have a look. I don't think, well I hope it's not a devastating negative one, but more of a gently quizzical are-you-sure-that's-a-good-idea look. But then again, I could be wrong- my looks were never my greatest asset

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