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Parenting

Today I just found myself being the type of mum I never wanted to be

12 replies

Breizhette · 30/10/2008 20:51

DD is 22 month and DS 3 months. DD has just started to be very difficult and DS is quite demanding. Today I just found myself slapping DD's leg, although I am against hitting children in any way, and shouting like a fishwife. She was being very very difficult in my defense, but that's no-excuse. What do you do when your nearly 2 y/o defies you and misbehave (throws her food on the floor, throws her toys around, try and tips everything she finds)? I feel so crap

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castlesintheair · 30/10/2008 20:54

Don't worry you are only human. Just make sure they are safe and take a breather. MN is good

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RubyShivers · 30/10/2008 20:55

i think 22 months is a challenging age

Best thing to do when you feel yourself getting to breaking point is put her somewhere safe and then you leave her for a minute or two whilst you scream/rant whatever

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Breizhette · 30/10/2008 20:56

Makes me so sad. I want to be patient and relaxed. Not hitting and shouting. Plus she's still a baby. Aaargh. MN IS good.

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childrenofthecornsilk · 30/10/2008 20:58

You need to remind yourself that it is normal behaviour. Did you actually slap her or just go to slap her?

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myredcardigan · 30/10/2008 20:58

Well, slapping is never good but at least you know that.

It's not easy, I've been there (still am with DC2&3) but you have to keep calm and tell yourself that as long as they are safe and generally happy then you're doing ok.

2yr olds are sent to try us!

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mumof2andabit · 30/10/2008 21:00

I feel your pain. Ds 2+1/2 needed a nap today and did not have one (toddlers eh?) and from about 3oclock ish was a real PITA -bless him. Swirling round the room with an open bag of rice cakes....screaming for chocolate cake (was my birthday last week, finding chocolates and sweets left over from my birthday and trying to scoff them, completly ignoring us need I say more? At the peak when he really kicked off because I told him he wouldnt be having any cake and started struggling and screaming teh house down I took dd (7months) and went and sat in the other room until silence had descended. We are human nothing more nothing less. I could not be sat with him then so I moved away. Although slapping/smacking is never a good idea I think your reaction to it says a lot more about you than actualy doing it. Tomorrow is another day..... hugs

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Breizhette · 30/10/2008 21:06

I did slap her on the leg as she was kicking me. Except she 22 months and I am 35 y/o
I think it's because I find it hard to cope with 2 LOs. I can deal with one, but 2 screaming kids makes it very hard.
Tomorrow IS another day. Will follow your advice and take a breather whenever I feel I can't cope.

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childrenofthecornsilk · 30/10/2008 21:14

Someone on here suggested that they imagine that they are being filmed. Might help. Make sure you get a good night's sleep - don't lie awake fretting about it. The last thing you want is to be shattered tomorrow.

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mumof2andabit · 30/10/2008 22:21

Oh god 2 screaming at the same time is hell. Being in the same small room as a man eating tiger suddenly seems appealing in my experience! Sleep well!

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Breizhette · 31/10/2008 08:15

Thank you all. We had a big hug this morning and I can feel that today will be different. :-)

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blueshoes · 31/10/2008 08:55

Hi Breizhette, glad everything looks better for you today. You are not alone in your feelings.

You have loads of good advice on here. Like you, I have 2 dcs. Just before my second was born, I was advised by wiser parents of 2 or more children that once the 2nd is here, there is a remarkable transformation in the way you perceive the first.

It did not happen at first, but slowly but surely I was expecting my first (then 3) to be much more mature, not play up when her little brother was crying, not whine, dress herself etc etc. She was only 3.

I was smiling to myself. My ds is now 2, around the age of your dd. And you might be thinking your dd should know better being the elder sibling, but I would be babying my ds because he will always be the baby of the family.

BTW, sibling rivalry will start to rear its head at some point. Usually after the glow of having a younger sibling has faded (perhaps around 3 months?) and reaches a peak once your ds gets mobile and gets into your dd's things. But when they start playing (and bickering) together, you will go ahhhhhhhhhhh.

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Breizhette · 31/10/2008 10:36

I realised last night that I was getting really annoyed because DD was noisy and kept waking DS, but she's only 22 months FGS, how can she be expected to keep quiet. This morning there's been no crises, I haven't raised my voice once. I like it much better like that
I think shouting is a vicious circle, the more I shout, the more she does!!
I loved the advice of imagining being filmed. Thanks again.