Convincing 10 yr old that I knwo best!

[mum71]

I'm new so I apologise if I'm not posting this in the right place.

My son is 10 and has selective mutism. He is at a local state primary school and hasn't had much help but he is getting more confident.

We went to visit the secondary school he will be attending a few days ago. It wasn't what I expected, there are over 3,000 children there, 300 at each intake. The place is really rough and, listening to stories from the teachers and other parents, I don't think that he will last 5 minutes.

There is also a private school near where we live with a really good reputation and I think that they can help him (and I really wish he had gone there when we first moved to the area 5 years ago).

I'd like him to go to the private school but he says he wants to stay with children he knows. I pointed out that he was unlikely to be in the same class as them anyway but he won't change his mind.

He does have a small group of friends but he doesn't socialise with them outside of school as he doesn't like any of the activities that they do (football, cubs, etc).

How can I convince him that I know best?

[mumblechum]

Sometimes you just have to let them make their own mistakes.

Why not let him go to the school he wants, on the basis that it's for a trial period of one term.

Book him a place from Jan at the private school and then if, as you predict, he doesn't settle at the comp, you have a backup plan.

If he surprises you by mixing well with the new people, making friends etc, then cancel the private school.

You'll lose a deposit, but that's life.

good luck.