I'm sitting here full of guilt for the horrible earbashing I gave DD1 (4.5y) at teatime - am hormonal, stressed and tired, and am sick to death of her negativity (and her aggression, but that wasn't the trigger today). As she's always demanding outings, I took her to the Science Museum & Nat Hist Museum with her favourite friend - spent all day there, totally exhausting - then she got to watch her beloved TV when we got home - and after that all she can do is say actually what she really likes is 'making things' (rather than days out), and she didn't get to watch Lazytown (which wasn't on), and she doesn't like mushrooms (in her shepherd's pie). She really is incredibly hard to please - if she stays in she wants to go out, but after most days out she describes them as boring or whatever - even if to my eyes she seemed to be having a ball at the time, there's always some little imperfection for her to dwell on afterwards. She even burst into tears yesterday when I ordered one of her very favourite foods in a cafe without consulting her (she'd disappeared off to play), and refused to eat it.
Anyway I ended up giving her a VERY LOUD and angry lecture about spoilt children etc - unusually, there were tears in her eyes and I now feel terrible about it as it really wasn't age-appropriate. She's starting school on Thu and is probably more anxious about that than she shows, which may be why she's been generally rather obnoxious today. But I was TOTALLY FURIOUS. What's frustrating me is that I keep trying to use the 'walk away' option in order to calm down (I don't do time out and in this case it wouldn't have really been appropriate anyway), but either or both DDs always end up following me! The only rooms I can lock myself into are the upstairs toilets, and I don't find them easy rooms to calm down in - especially with two children practically battering down the door from the outside.
More than anything I just needed to share that - I've felt like a reasonable mum for most of the holidays but now am back to feeling like a horrible one.
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I wish I could leave the room when I'm about to yell at the kids, but they just FOLLOW ME!
11 replies
franch · 02/09/2008 21:13
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