"I haven't really broken her yet". WTF does that mean?

[LittleBella]

FFS. Why would anyone use that kind of language and that kind of thinking about their 9 year old daughter?

I kid you not, this is what one woman said while discussing our children. I immediately thought about mumsnet and needed to share it...

[NormaStanleyFletcher]

sounds a bit mad to me

give me the context?

[tissy]

is it someone who somewhat horsey? If referring to horses, I would take it to mean "tamed"

[LIZS]

Is she willful and stuibbron ? Does she mean as in to break in a horse ie control its natural highspiritedness ?

[Pruners]

Message withdrawn

[2point4kids]

Or perhaps jokingly?

Like 'DD likes pink girly things, I'm trying to persuade her to like football like me but havent broken her yet ha ha'

[LittleBella]

No no, she's not horsey, she was talking about her DD not doing as she was told, having a will of her own etc.

As if having a will of your own is a bad thing.

Context was school playground with bunch of women whom I don't know but happened to be waiting with as school trip came back late.

[fishie]

i expect she didn't mean it, if she had then would have 'broken' her years ago.

[MadBadandDangeroustoKnow]

I overheard a similar conversation at the school gate. The gist was that you had to 'break' a child so that she would be obedient, as otherwise they'd give nothing but grief for years. I think the parallel with horses is probably right.

[margoandjerry]

Either she meant it somewhat jokingly (as in taming her to become fit for adulthood - which I do understand) or she is a nutter who has already done serious damage to her child.

I suspect the former.

[showoutthefool]

agree with fishie

[OverMyDeadBody]

she meant tamed her I guess, so getting her to behave.

It's not particularly nice, but I doubt it was meant in a nasty way.

[LittleBella]

No she wasn't joking. She was saying it in a sort of frustrated, embarrassed way, as if we would all judge her to be incompetent for not having broken her dd.

[margoandjerry]

well then I would think she was thinking of all the work that needs to be done with a difficult child to help her fit in at secondary school, navigate safely through teenage years, get to adulthood with the essential tools necessary to make sensible choices...

I tend not to think most people are interested in destroying the spirits of their children but it sounds a little as though you do think that's what she had in mind.

[fishie]

maybe she feels as though she is not being a tough enough mother, so she is somehow letting her daughter down. and makes silly comments because she thinks people are judging her.

if only she knew.....

[LittleBella]

I don't really know M&J. I was just startled to hear such a... mad way to describe getting your kid to do what you want.

Luckily they all came walking in to the playground after that which stopped me having to think about it and then I just remembered it now.

[margoandjerry]

agree it is mad but hope it was just a turn of phrase rather than a mission iyswim.

fishie might be onto something too. Fear of being judged?

[fishie]

it just sounds exactly the sort of wild thing i might say if arrived in a school playground.

if you haven't seen her before maybe she works and doesn't know anyone?

[onebatmother]

I've said this exact thing, as a joke against myself (both uptight and ineffective) on the assumption that others listening will get the joke.

Oh dear.

[margoandjerry]

it's the kind of thing that happens when I suggest that GF might not actually be evil as in literally actually evil...

[dylsmum1998]

i've said things like this before, more in jest than anything when someone has commented on my ds bloodymindedness/strong will/ unique personality. depending on the person who said. i mean it in a way that sort of makes a joke out the implication that i am crap as he doesnt always conform to expected personality traits.

[LittleBella]

Hmmm. Yes it should be a joke but it was just the way she said it. Like it wasn't.

Anyway, I should let this go, shouldn't I?

[edam]

Yup, I'd have assumed it was a joke about failure to achieve Victorian 'children will be seen and not heard' levels of obedience.

[lizinthesticks]

"if only she knew....."

lol

[Swedes]

Some people are too uptight for jokes.

[MrsDougRoss]

if dd cries we will often say she is broken, may be it was this sort of thing.