My daughter is 4 and this is what she has just said to her brother

[itati]

Get out of my stupid bloody room

[lazarou]

lol!

[bigknickersbigknockers]

lol

[BibiThree]

well her vocab is being used, she could have just said get out of my room

[Lizzylou]

Very descriptive

[Nagapie]

lol - mine said to me the other day, when I was asking her to do something she really didn't want to do, 'I said no!'

[itati]

I am at a loss why you all think it is funny tbh but then I am having a time so maybe not in the mood to thik swaering is funny.

[itati]

As I led her to sit on the chair she said she hated me and was going to kick and scratch me.

I have lovely kids, me.

[kerryk]

my dd was in the car with my dad last week and he beeped his horn at someone, dd (4) piped up "is he a f*king prat grandad" my dad asked what she meant and dd said everytime mummy beeps the horn she shouts "f*king prat"

i honestly have never noticed that i do it but dh said that it is true

[lazarou]

Ahhh, itati, don't take it personally. All kids say things that they don't really understand.

[AMumInScotland]

Sorry that you're having a hard time of it at the moment, but it's something which most children will do at this kind of age - they hear other people using words in a very emphatic way, and they copy them, often very accurately even with the same tone and inflection.

It sounds horrid coming from a child, and of course you want to discourage it, but to her it's no different from saying "bother", except that it seems a stronger way of putting it because of the emphasis she has heard when other people use it.

[itati]

Bother is not the same as bloody.

Bloody is a swear word, bother is not.

[WigWamBam]

At that age she's only repeating what she's heard elsewhere. She has no concept of swearing - the words she hears you (or other people) use are the words she will use herself.

Tell her that it's not a nice word to use, and that you don't want her to use it anymore. But she also needs to stop hearing it as well.

When she tells you she hates you, the best thing to do is ignore it. Or just say "That's a shame, because I love you" and change the subject. They are just words, they have no idea yet of how much they can hurt you.

[itati]

She knows they hurt.

[Hassled]

Itati - at 4 they don't really have the imagination to know how other people will feel when they say hurtful things. The world really does revolve around them, and they can't put themselves in your shoes and understand how upsetting being told "I hate you" is.
She will get there - just keep reinforcing how unacceptable it is. And the swearing could have been so much worse - my niece was heard to say "I'm not f*ing drinking this" aged 2.5 .

[lazarou]

Maybe it wouldn't have bothered you so much if you weren't already feeling crap.

[nappyaddict]

tbh i don't see bloody as a swear word either.

[AMumInScotland]

Well, no, but she won't know that, unless you've already had this conversation with her a number of times.

[oopsadaisyangel]

When my son was three he shout "look mum theres a fucking bus" DH just glared at me!!

[itati]

A child said they hated her and she was upset so yes, she does know it hurts.

Why do I aleays feel like it is my parenting being attacked when I post things on here and don't agree with the majority?

[WigWamBam]

She's four, of course she doesn't know how much they hurt you. She lashes out because she's frustrated, she doesn't really hate you. The way you handle it is what will make a difference - it's a reaction she's after, and if you don't react she won't get what she set out to get and eventually she will stop.

Does she hear you swear? Because if she does, how is she to know that she shouldn't? Until you tell her that she shouldn't use those words she won't know.

[WigWamBam]

No, she knows that it hurt her. She hasn't yet developed the empathy to know that other people hurt, too.

[Pinkjenny]

I think you're maybe being a teeeeny bit oversensitive itati - I really don't think anyone is criticising you at all.