2yr 'development check' - compulsory?!?!

[asur]

As far as I was aware, the 2 year development check was optional (like everything else in parenting). HV phoned me last week to arrange it and I said I didn't want it as DS1 is fine and I don't see it being relevant... Today received a recorded delivery letter from HV stating that my refusal is highly unusual and as such I should put my refusal in writing within 14 days!!!

She doesn't say what will happen if I don't do this within the time given... I'll probably phone her on Monday to discuss but it depends how angry I'm still feeling at the time...

Does she have any right to demand this in writing? Will I get referred to social services as an unfit mother if I don't cooperate with her?!

[pinkteddy]

I don't think it is compulsory but I guess hvs have a duty of care to assess all the children on their case loads and if you haven't seen her much she may not have any information to go on which might be why she is concerned? FWIW I think its worth going, could pick up things like eyesight, speech, hearing etc that you haven't picked up on? Its a fairly brief assessment, nothing too onerous IIRC! HTH

[sagacious]

Ignore the letter
Sounds very odd
My HV phoned ask asked if I wanted a 2 yr check I said she was fine and she said "great any problems you know where we are"

That was it.

[SugaryBits]

I wasn't even offered a 2 year check. I haven't seen or heard from a HV since I refused to do depression questionnaire when DS2 was about 6 weeks old!

[littleducks]

it is optional

sounds very odd re letter my hv was very apologetic about giving the weaning info to me at 8 weeks as she wouldnt expect to see me again till way after baby was weaned at six months due new responsibilities

[Highlander]

In our area a GP trainer admitted that the 2 year old check is a useful last chance for the HV to pick up any evidence of abuse.

I'm not at all interested in the DSs' height or weight, so I took DS1 to the GP for a 'medical'.

[asur]

I really feel that I would go if I felt he had any problems but he doesn't. From previous experience, I know that as I've refused something, they will try and find something that could be wrong just to get him in the system... Maybe I'm paranoid but I just don't want to take him for something so stupid as checking arbitary milestones.

I think I will just ignore the letter - just makes me so

[asur]

Sorry x-posted with a few posts there... Seems it's typical NHS that there is no standard and I'm just lucky with my HV! Will just ignore her like I have for past 2 years

[benandgerry]

Ignore the letter, no need to reply or phone to discuss. It sounds like bullying/harassment to me, very odd HV behaviour. The HV manager probably isn't aware of what's going on, I'd be inclined to complain using local Primary Care Trust complaints procedure but you might prefer to ignore.
Checks (or any kind of contact with HVs) have never been compulsory. Up until about 5 years ago they were offered to all children then Govt guidelines changed to say that 2 yr check not needed for everyone because pre-schools, nurseries etc would be able to assess children. HV checks should only be offered to those likely to have problems or if parents concerned and wanting a check.

[milliec]

Message withdrawn

[TheProvincialLady]

I would be livid How dare she send you a letter like that? I agree, don't reply or discuss, but DO complain if only to stop the woman from bullying some other poor family.

[pagwatch]

I think it just sounds as though the HV wants a note on file confirming that you have no availed yourself of this check.

I have refused all vaccinations for DD and the GP practice sent polite reminders. When i spoke to them about it it was just a bit of arse covering really - they want something on file to show that i was offered jabs but refused. I scribbled a note about informed consent and they have left me alone since.
Ignore it by all means but, if they are super anxious about admin and liability you may find you get chasers. You could always just put a note in the post saying thanks for the offer but all is fine.

[crokky]

I was sent a letter asking "do you want the 2yr check?" I replied in writing "no thanks"

it is optional

[benandgerry]

Maybe the HV is inexperienced and over-anxious. There's no need for her to have anything in writing from you saying you don't want the check. She just needs to write in her records that she's spoken to you and you've declined the check because you're happy with your child's development.

[asur]

thank you for all replies. I am going to ignore it. I did contemplate complaining but don't think it's worth the hassle; been through complaints before with NHS and it's not worth it (IME)

Thank you all though, at least I know I'm not being unreasonable to expect HV to respect my choices.

[cory]

There is another side to it. I have HV contacts and apparently there have been a few problems locally with (a very few) unreliable HVs who claim to have made visits/telephone calls etc when they haven't. It may be that the office want evidence that you have actually been offered this check-up, so noone can come and say afterwards that the offer was never made. I'd just write a note.
(Well, if it was me I would just go for the check-up actually. I have several friends who have had HVs pick up on medical/developmental problems that they hadn't noticed).

[Heated]

Last saw the HV at the 6wk check, but I did take dd to her 2yr app, otherwise I fear it'll be used for teenage angst ammunition in years to come where she wants to know how come I plotted pfb's every bowel movement in the red book but she only get two dots on a graph...

Also she got another copy of Dear Zoo

[minster]

They don't even do one here (the last time I saw the hv was for ds's newborn hearing check). I'd just ignore it.

[meemar]

We get a some free goodies for the children with ours. That's the only reason I'm going!

[MsDemeanor]

The check is option, but, given the stick the 'authorities' get when a child turns out to be being abused (ie every time a child dies or is hurt), then I'm not very surprised they are keen to get to see children.
Why not just have the check? It's not invasive, IME they are delighted to see children doing well and it is very short. NOt all parents are good parents, and I'm sure the various checks do pick up when things are going wrong in families.

[MsDemeanor]

And yes, you get a nice goody bag with free books in it.

[asur]

thanks for more replies.

Cory - I appreciate she might want it noted for the records but I think she's gone about it in such a bad way. And, as she's sent me a recorded delivery letter confirming what was said on the phone, she actually has proof now - she has a copy of the letter and confirmation that I signed for it.

heated - LOL at 2 dots on a graph... DS is my oldest and he hasn't even got 2 dots, he was weighed at birth then at 6 days (I think) and has never been measured since - nothing on a graph! I'm even currently comtemplating throwing out his red book as it just annoys me - doesn't fit properly in filing cabinet!

MsDemeanor - I would have the check if I thought it was beneficial, but I really don't think it is. To check if a child is reaching arbitary 'milestones' seems ridiculous. IME, children develop at their own rate and I know that this HV would be looking for something and feel it's not fair for DS to be marked down with something at such a young age.

Am gonna ignore it and see if she gets back in touch after the 14 days.

[slinkiemalinki]

I don't see how she can unless there is some grounds to suspect your parenting!
Nobody has offered us one. Not sure I would bother either as perfectly confident about my DD too - odd how in one area it's ignored and another aggressively pursued!

[MsDemeanor]

Honestly, I really don't think the check is there to trick you or catch your child out in some way. As for wanting to get them 'in the system', from my experience as the parent of a child withe special needs, I only wish that was true! The check may well be pointless for your child - I know it was pointless for mine (the ones without special needs of any kind, I knew they were fine, the one with, I was the one trying to get him assessed even before the belated two year check), but let's face it, how do they know that you and your child are OK if they don't see you? Look at hte sad case of the little girl who was starved to death and the abuse the various authorities got for not beign able to check on the kids. No wonder they want to have evidence that they have really tried.
And re the milestones, yes, all children progress at different rates, but some things - ie not pointing, not climbing the stairs one foot then the other on different steps, not speaking at all, are very good markers for potential problems, and if there are problems, then the earlier that child gets help the better. NOt all parents are as clued up and involved as you.