10 year old walking home from school and waiting for me

[Amandella]

My eldest dd is 10 and has started walking home once or twice a week from school. There is no road crossing to do and it's a straight walk down a road full of mums and kids coming from two schools, some of whom she knows. She does the walk in 10 to 12 mins and I have been quite happy about it (well as happy as you can be when you aren't with your child!). We've been basically "practising" this term, because as from September, our youngest will start school in a different school in the other direction and so eldest dd will have to walk to and from school every day on her own and then when she walks home from school, I'll be walking the little one home at the same time - we should arrive within 5 or 10 mins of one another either way. So, my question is do you think this is OK - for a short while on her own at the house and walking every day or is it too much for a 10 year old? She's very keen to do it as I do know that quite a few of her friends do it...but I have to say in an ideal world I'd rather collect her but it just can't happen that way. Also, would you give her a mobile phone? Our school has a policy that the kids need to drop them in the office in the morning and collect after school. I'd love to be able to ring her as i walk home or if she has a problem she could call me if she is delayed but you hear about kids being targetted or mugged for their mobiles which worries me a bit. We live in a "nice" suburb of greater London but you never know!!

Thoughts please wise ones.

[prettybird]

I would do it - but then, I have a very liberal view compared to some others on here.

And I wouldn't give her a mobile phone - but maybe check out if there are any phone boxes and/or friends' houses on the way if there is an issue.

Would you be wthinin "line of site" of her coming from the other direction? if you are, maybe you could think about a chepa walkie talkie - not epxensive enough to be a target but enought o give you peace fo mind.

[Amandella]

Unfortunately not in line of site. Our house is on a small estate right about half way between the two schools unfortunately...

[Fennel]

I would do it, and then if she isn't home when you expect you can head out in her direction to find her.

I let my 8yo have a similar amount of freedom and though she's a vague scatty child she is quite capable of looking after herself.

[muggglewump]

It sounds fine to me, I'd be happy with that.
I wouldn't bother with the phone, I can't see anything major happenning in that small time and as you say, there's other parents about who could probably help out if really needed

[AbbeyA]

I would do it.

[3andnomore]

I can't see a problem with it!
I know it was different days when I was a young child...but it was the norm...being german I was about 7 when I started school and my mum only took me to school on the first ever day,a after that I had to walk....school was 15-30 minutes walk...once I got older I was allowed to ride on my bike...must have been about 9 or so then...

My es, who started Secondary school this year has been going it alone and it's about 2 miles...he either bikes it or walks it, depending on what he wants or if his bike is kaput or not... he has walked the last 2 year of his Primary school aswell...but then that school was less then 5 minute walk...
bit of independence does her good...but maybe you want to give her a key, then she wouldn't have to wait outside...

[susiecutiebananas]

I don't see any reason why not to do it. My niece does it every day. She has done it since she was in year 5, she's about to leave year 6 now. She walks with her younger sister who is in year 3. No problems at all.

My neighbour is in year 6 now, and since september has also been walking to and from school She is 10 ( august b-day) and I'd say she is really 'young' for her age really.

She does have a mobile phone, precisely for both her and her mums peace of mind. She hands it into the office and switches it on when she leaves. I know this will sound so sinister, and I really don't mean to, or to scare you, not my intention at all but her mum asks her to switch it on as soon as she leaves school so that god forbid if anything did happen, they can trace a mobile phone signal from the cell it 'logs' into to get a signal. SO for that purpose, it is a good idea I think.

Also, she sometimes calls her DD on the way home to say to let herself in if she's popped out, or to just keep her company on the way back.

Are you going to let her have a key to the house or wait outside until you get there?

[prettybird]

Interesting the difference in attitudes between this thread and the other thread about 5 year olds being out on thier own, where some people weren't even letting 13 year olds play/go out unsupervised.

I agree about the key too - so that she is not left waiting outside. That's the final bit in ds' training - he can't yet operate the yale key to the house, although I do try it with him every so often.

[Fennel]

5 is totally different from 10 though prettybird, I've been reading that other thread too but I guess I didn't let my dds out alone very much when they were 5, and I do quite a lot now they are nearly 7, and 8. They are quite different children in just a couple of years, in terms of road sense and stranger sense and time sense.

[Amandella]

Oh yes, she will definitely have a key. Thanks so much for everyone's responses... isn't it a pity that we should have to even question whether this is a "safe" thing to do or not.. as I child I too walked a good mile or so to/from a train station and caught a train to school with no concern from my parents....

[prettybird]

I agree - 5 is different from 10. However, on that thread there were those who even at 13 were not comfortable with the child having any freedom unsupervised. And I found that very

[3andnomore]

must admit, I stayed away from teh 5 year old out alone thread....last time I joined a thread like that it got rahter nasty

[3andnomore]

oh amandella...you are right, it's sad we question ourselves like that, isn't it!
I must admit, to opening a thread about it when my ds last year started secondary (I mena, last September now)...because we had gotten comments in real life about being cruel and stuff...

[Fennel]

I also find it sad that 13 year olds are ferried around and guarded so closely, but that thread could get nasty quite easily.

[ChasingSquirrels]

I used to do so, 10/15 min walk, had a key, mum would get home about an hour later, dad sometimes in, sometimes not (worked shifts). I did it from 9 when we moved to that house, and walked home with a friend before that, probably from about 7 from what I can remember.
I would also let my 10yo do it.

Our school newsletter last week said that because of an incident that happened after school (in the school - sounded like an accident, although may have been bullying, and on school premises) all children yR to y4 will have to be released to an adult. ds1 is only reception, but hopefully they won't keep the rule in place because I am fully expecting him to be coming home alone by the time he is in Y3 if not before.

[ChasingSquirrels]

not that I currently HAVE a 10yo!

[VictorianSqualor]

I'd do it. She won't really be 'alone' as the road will be full of other pupils and parents.

Do you know any of the parents that walk down the road? Maybe you could ask one of them if DD has a problem can she go to them to make you feel a bit happier?

[prettybird]

You're right fennel - and to give it its due, that thread did stay on the "right" side of interested disucssion - althugh others in the past haven't. And on re-reading it, it was just one person who was not giving her dd the freedom that some of the others would have been comfortable.

I still remember over 15 years ago being shocked at the wife of a collegaue of then dp who had not let her ds go to rugby practice as she wouldn't be there to ferry him - even though he volunteered to cycle They lived in Headningly iirc (or some other good part of Leeds) and he was fifteen.

[Enid]

yes I think fine

dd1 and 2 run home from school ahead of me and let themselves inot the house while I pootle behind with dd3

mind you we have been warned by the police that two guys in a red car have been trying to lure children in with sweets so it may stop for a while

[Fennel]

my 7yo dd1 was coming home from school alone a few months ago and a friend's mother offered her a lift and dd1 refused, apparently, she said she wasn't allowed to get into cars even of people she knew. I was quite reassured that she did refuse to get into a car (even though on that occasion it was a friend who we know quite well and who has given her lifts in the past).

[HumphreyC]

I'd do it.
Buy her a lovely keyring to keep house key on, in recognition of how proud you are that she is so mature and sensible.

[AbbeyA]

I found that mine were much more responsible when given some independence. I was worried about my two DSs arguing when I wasn't there.They were fine-they started the arguing as soon as I had been back 5 mins! Up until then they had been in different rooms!

[RosaLuxembourg]

My 10 year old does this. She has a key. She can be home for half an hour before I get there if I have to drop one of the others at ballet or something. She doesn't have a mobile phone either, I really don't see the need.

[CrackerOfNuts]

I have a 10yr old Dd, and would be happy with the situation you describe.

At the mo, we all walk together to school,, but I am planning to tell dd1 that she can carry on ahead from Sept, as she will walk alone once she starts secondary school, but i'd like to get some practice in LOL.

I have told her though that I have spies everywhere, and that I will find out, if she walks through the gully instead of the long way around, or crosses without waiting for the green man

[stitch]

depends on the child. but i think that at ten, most children are perfectly fine doing this.
however, if god forbid, there ever was something bad happen, (and i mean really really bad) then i have it on good authority that the police consider it a question mark when a child younger than thirteen is left alone.

knowing all this, i have allowed my dc1 to walk home from school since his tenth birthday. it started out only on days when dh was at home to recieve him, and me making frantic phone calls home long before he was realistically able to arrive home. but, it has done his confidence wonders.
get a cheap cheap mobile phone. tesco does them for 15 pounds. or get an old one off a family member and a sim car d for a fiver.