Children hanging around the petrol station and the grill in the evening. What?

[QuintessentialShadows]

We had some business with some of the neighbour next to our self build plot and drove over this evening. Being hungry we went to a nearby Grill and a Petrol station and were slightly concerned to see quite a lot of children and young teenagers just hanging around, chatting, cycling, snogging, etc. When we pulled up outside a boy from my sons class ran up to the car to chat to my son. (He is 6) No parents in view, and as there were so many other kids I assume he was alone, but with another kid.

My Dh said "bloody hell, is this where DS1 will end up in the evenings?"

Is this what it is? Are we signing our son up for being bored and cycling around a petrol station at night?

[FluffyMummy123]

Message withdrawn

[QuintessentialShadows]

I think I must live in the happy days now.

There is a grill (pre MacD, but same kind of thing, only greasier and more vile), a kiosk, a petrol station, a youth club and a hairdresser. Thats it. Next facilities are in town, 20 minutes drive away.

[southeastastra]

lol yes it sounds cooool

[QuintessentialShadows]

COOL? lol, SEA.

Are they up to no good? My consolation is that from our "house" he will have to pass a church, a river, and a nursing home to get there....

[cory]

Well, it's what we all used to do, isn't it?

As adults we have houses where we can invite our friends/potential lovers etc away from the prying eyes of other adults etc. Adolescents don't have that, but they still have social needs. How would you feel if you had to invite your Mum to come over and watch you and your dp in your more private moments? Not everybody can get their snogging done in the privacy of their own home. As long as the children are not harrassing other children or adults, or taking drugs, or shoplifting from the petrol station shop, I wouldn't mind.

There are people these days who think any moment spent by an adolescent in actitivites not planned and supervised by adults is to be defined as 'being up to no good'. I'll go along with that the day I can envisage myself spending every waking moment of my leisure time in worthwhile activities planned by somebody else.

My dc's are not yet at this age- and dd is disabled which will make it harder- but what I will settle for (apart from a modicum of homework to be done, sports, hobbies etc) is basic safety rules. Stick with your friends, don't go anywhere alone with a man/boy tou don't know, ring to be picked up if things look dodgy.

[cory]

Just to add: if I invite another middle-aged neighbour into my house for a cuppa and a chat, or if I stand chatting to them in the road, it is seen as a sign of a good community spirit, neighbourly cohesion etc etc. Brownie points for Cory.

If a teenager does the same, it is the sign of a wasted life, being up to no good, threatening behaviour etc. So where is the present generation going to learn their social skills?

[cory]

Cory back again!

Quint, can your husband see that much difference between your ds in the future wasting his time talking to people round the petrol station and you wasting your time now talking to people through the medium of a smallish grey or white box?

Because if he can, he's got sharper eyes than me. We are all guilty of wasting time in pointless natter. Which reminds me that the washing up needs doing!

[Botbot]

I spent the majority of my teenage years hanging round the phone box by the off-licence in our village. Everyone knew the phone box's number so you could phone your mates to arrange a meeting.

I grew up fairly normal/successful.

And snogging was strictly for the graveyard

[MrsBadger]

Teenagers hang out round our petrol station for no better reason I can see than it has a wall that's a good height for sitting on.

They're stuffed though aren't they?
Stay indoors on the wii: 'oh you never get any fresh air or exercise'
Go out on bikes with friends: 'oh you just hang pointlessly round the petrol station'
Do tennis/ karate/ swimming : 'oh we spend all our time ferrying our kids from club to club, they don't know how to play by themselves any more'

[Chaotica]

We used to hang out on a roundabout (it was landscaped and even had a bench on it and a subway under the road). We'd probably all have asbos now.

[branflake81]

We used to hang outside the local church. Just because when you're young there is nowhere else to go. Now I look back and think that we must have looked quite threatening but at the time we were just having fun with our friends.

[QuintessentialShadows]

I dont mind teenagers cycling around and chatting with friends outside the petrol station.

My son is 6. There were children there on their own without parents, from my sons class. I am more concerned with that. It is very common from age 3 to play outside your own home on your own. Mostly children stay near their house. But if these children walk up from the petrol station and the grill and ask my son to come, what then? I think he is too young to go alone with a group of such young boys to hang out by the station.

[zippitippitoes]

are you building a house then

how is it going

[TheDevilWearsPrimark]

Me too Branflake, we used to scare each other in the Graveyard. Either that or an embankment by some old railway sidings. I've revisted those places and always wonder how they now seem so small and far less exciting than they did in those days.

Around here it is the local chicken takeaway that seems to be the 'hang out' spot.