First weekend away from DS - the aftermath

[Moorhen]

DH and I had fantastic two nights away from 10-month-old DS this weekend (got back Monday). Part of the reason they were fantastic is my parents told me he was really happy, laughing all the time, slept through etc so knew he was doing well without us.

Then we got back. He smiled at DH but burst into tears at me and started this horrible high-pitched shrieking which has continued on and off, ever since.

Woke three times that night. Narky all yesterday.

Last night woke at midnight and 2am, when he whinged for 40 minutes and then shrieked for another 40. Only really stopped after a dose of Medised (we were wondering if was teeth by this point but don't think it was really). DH and I had row because I said I hated DS when like this (shameful I know, was soo exhausted and frustrated but still) and he said he hated me when I'm like this. Not really point of weekend, you know?

Had to drop DS off at nursery today which I know will come back to haunt me.

What is happening? Why was he happy to be left, but not collected? Will this last long? At the moment, I don't know if my big mistake was going away, or coming back

[posieflump]

It's nothing you've done. Are you sure he isn't teething or has picked up some sort of bug?
Don't let it ruin the effects of your w/end away and more importantly don't let it stop you going away again.

[controlfreakyagain]

this is the aftermath of separation.... he probably was "fine" with his gps and you gone but is having to "work through" his anxieties at separation now he has you back.... doesnt mean it was wrong to go.... but he's at an age where attachment / separation anxiety are two of his most important issues. he will be ok and so will you.

[Lazylou]

Agree with controlfreakyagain. It's probably more relief that you're back and possible worry that you will leave again, rather than being upset that you went away in the first place.

This separation anxiety thing is difficult but he will be ok once he begins to understand that you will always return for him.

[Moorhen]

I don't want it stop us going away again - I can feel how good it was for us - but the thought of having a shite time afterwards for far longer than we had a nice time is pretty offputting. Lovely as the trip was, the glow has completely worn off and DS isn't back to normal yet!

He settled into nursery on the first day and has never cried there, so thought it wasn't going to be an issue. Sigh.

[controlfreakyagain]

it's an age thing.... by the time he's 2 ish for instance he will understand your absence in a way he can't now.... c 9 months is when separation anxiety develops in all children as the flip side of forming a strong attachment to primary carers. it's a necessary part of healthy development. soon he will understand what you tell him and be able to verbalise his feelings in a different way... but even at thisd age you should tell him what is happening.... did you tell him and say goodbye to him properly or did you sneak off? (never sneak off imo, even if it feels easier for all concerned!)

[Moorhen]

We did say goodbye to him; he was having breakfast on my mum's lap and seemed v happy. He's just too little to understand we'd be gone two days, I spose.

[swiftyknickers]

just punishing you
my ds 2.8 is doing the exact same thing this week. At your DS age they dont understand as -its like when you pick them up they just realise you've gone (IYSWIM)