All the bloody time

[NotABanana]

The kids just fight and argue the majority of the time and they have started being mean to the little one now. They are 7, 4 and almost 3. I know all siblings fight but the way they speak to each other at times is awful. They won't share, they tell each other to get out of my room, and it is really waring. They tell tales too. They hit each other too. I have tried to explain that if they don't want to be hit/spoken to awfully then not to do it to someone else, but the message isn't getting through.

Help!

[cupsoftea]

do you have a garden - having them play outside helps me stay sane!

[NotABanana]

We do but it isn't always practical to send them out.

[LilRedWG]

NAB, no advice other than the garden, sorry.

[cluelessnchaos]

my girls are like this but every night want to sleep in the same room, I am sure it is more about me than them. Havent worked out how to deal with it, so any ideas I will be interessted to hear them

[NotABanana]

The older two slept together last night and are very keen too. It is lovely to hear them but then other times they are awful to each other. They shouted at the little one this morning when he wanted to go in the room with them.

[LoveMyGirls]

My eldest dd does this too so I can understand how you feel, it's so horrible, all you want is a peaceful happy life but my eldest insists on winding the youngest one up when she was perfectly happy which really fustrates me and I end up sending dd1 to her room so she can't annoy her sister but then I feel guilty she is missing out on being down here with her family (even though she is old enough and happy enough playing in her room, she's nearly 9) I'm hoping it's just a phase she will grow out of there's a 6 year difference and she really does know better yet still day after day I have to tell her to stop it

Both my dd's are going on holiday with their grandparents at the end of this week so at least I can get a break and hopefully they will come back better behaved I hope! Plus I will be refreshed and will have missed them so so much we can have a fresh start and hopefully live a bit more in harmony.......

I've just had a chat with them both about how I'd really like it if they can behave today (and the rest of the week) so I can have a nice time with them before they go on holiday they have agreed to be good but we'll see..........

[NotABanana]

I have spent ages making a really nice Sunday dinner and it is the same every week.

DS1 uses his fingers, the older 2 usually spill food on the table, floor and themselves (the 2 year old doesn't, he uses his cutlery better too) and they have been utterly rude and cheeky throughout the whole meal.

I am fed up.

Have tightness rouncd my torso and I know it is the upset.

DS1 just arguing with his dad after he said they had to stay at the table until they had finished. Kids!!

[cluelessnchaos]

sunday dinner is always the same in our house, its my high expectations of the perfect family sitting round saying thank youfor going to so much trouble mummy and joking in a light hearted manner, we havent got there yet, dh offshore, dd1 at swimming training and dd2 and ds plugged into the tv.

[NotABanana]

I am not after perfect 1950's type behaving kids at the table but it would be nice if they could use their cutlery and not share their food with the floor and table quite so much.

[hifi]

do you do time out?

[NotABanana]

We do, but we try and save it for physical misdemeanors as we have found if we use it too much they think it's a game and quite enjoy being sent there.

[hifi]

how about consequences then, treats and privileges taken away?

[NotABanana]

Tried all that. DSS currently has no computer for all of this month for something. Nothing seems to bother them.

[MadMazza]

I have heard it suggested that you should try to ignore petty bickering and only really get involved if things get "physical". I try to do this with my two boys - 6 and 3. Sometimes they argue and even shout at each other but if I don't interfere they resolve things themselves without my intervention. It's all about learning to live with others and resolving differences - all part of growing up and quite natural. I realise it's hard and I often have to have strong words with them myself: split them up into different rooms and insist they stay apart for a certain length of time. That sometimes works for me. Isn't it odd that they are arguing one minute and best of friends the next?

[mybrainaches]

No advice, my dc are the same, however they have to ask each thers permission to go into thier rooms, and if they say no then they cant, by giving them a little power over privacy can help them respect each other, plus they have somewhere to go if they want to be alone.

[NotABanana]

I have tried saying to them to sort it out themselves or I will take whatever they are arguing about, off them.

I take on board them being allowed to say no to coming in their rooms, but what about when 2 are in one room and won't let the youngest join in?

My problem is remembering all that I am meant to do with these ideas. I am so tired some days I have to remind myself to pick them up from school!