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How do I tell my dd (5) about her Biological father ? (long & complicated -sorry)

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Princessofessex · 23/04/2008 14:22

ok here goes from the begining, I was in a lovely relationship with house & morgage for 5 years before it ended due to him drug abusing. lost the house etc etc.
I moved on and met another partner,that lasted 8 months before I went back to my previous partner (he'd clean up).
We found out I was pregnant,but we both new there was a possibility that the baby might not be his, WE decided to have the baby and he said he would treat it like his own.
Sadly & suddenly he passed away before the baby was born. Here is where the problem starts,hes parents have always been very suportive right from the birth and love my dd to bits.They wanted to have a dna test done (for 1 reason or other), so we did and as a result my dd is NOT their grandchild.
They have said they want to carry on seeing her and treating her as if she is, but they are not really treating me as they did before.I have contacted my dd bio dad and he is willing to strike up a relationship with dd,which is good for my dd but how do I start to tell my dd all of this I want to tell her the truth and nothing but the truth.I know she is only 5 and might not take it all on board but I have to make a start before it goes on any longer.
Were do I start ? anyone been/in the same situ ?
Ps, I have been with lovely dp for 3 years now and he loves dd to bits as if she was hes own,he has 3 grown up kids from previous.Dp is worried that dd will reject him once she finds out she has a Dad.

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phlossie · 23/04/2008 14:58

I don't have experience of my own to draw from, but I do know plenty of children who have step-parents and are pretty accepting of the situation.
The key with them was honesty. Tell her in simple but clear terms about how a baby is made, about how that sometimes the daddy who makes the baby isn't the same daddy who looks after you. It's a good idea to do it now.
My friend had to have this conversation with her ds at about the same age. Her and her dh (not his bio dad) were cacking themselves about how he'd react, especially as they had another ds together. They sat him down and explained it all and how they loved him and it didn't make him different from his brother etc etc, and at the end he said. 'Oh right.... Can I go and play now?'
Good luck.

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